A/N: I've been on here for two years AND I gotten 150 followers! Thank you guys so much!! (Gross sobbing) (G.U.Y. Lady Gaga)

Sanji woke up early one morning. He looked over to Zoro who was asleep. Sanji smiled kissing him softly then slid out under his arm. He replaced himself with a pillow. Sanji grabbed his bag and snuck out of there room. He shut the door sneaking into the kitchen and making Zoro a quick breakfast and put it in the microwave. Sanji then snuck out of there house to a van outside. Three crossdressing men pulled him inside. Then drove off down the street. A few hours later Zoro woke up hugging a pillow. He grunted putting Sanji's pillow back in its place. He got up and yawned, he got up and searched to find himself alone in the house.

"Sanji!?" Zoro called.

No answer, Zoro grunted and sat on the couch he picked up his phone. He flicked through finding Sanji's name and calling him. No answer. He called the Baratie. Zeff checked the number.

"Answer that phone and I'll make sure none of you ever get a job again." Zeff said.

Zoro sighed getting no answer. He called the rest of the crew. Nami was distracted with Vivi. Robin and Franky felt bad for not answering. Luffy was bribed with meat. Usopp sat next to the phone and listened to it ring. Brook couldn't hear the phone.

"What the hell is going on?!" Zoro huffed.

Little did Zoro know Sanji had a little surprise for him. And told them all not to answer if the phone call from Zoro. He huffed tossing his phone on the couch and  getting up to make something for breakfast. But to find food already in the microwave for him. He ate it, cold. Then he called his dad.

"Roronoa." Mihawk huffed.

"Hawkeyes, have you heard from Sanji? Or anyone else? No ones answering." Zoro asked.

"Stop it. I'm on the phone."

Shanks whined, Zoro cringed.

"No I haven't heard from your cook husband. Or any of your fr-ends."

There was a rusting of the phone then it went dead. Zoro shuddered.

"Ewe."

There was a harsh knock on the door. Zoro got up and answered the door. Franky and Robin stood feeling bad about disobeying Sanji's orders.

"We're okay. We were told not to answer the phone. All of us. Sanji has a surprise for you tonight." Robin said.

"What surprise?" Zoro asked.

"That's what we're not going to tell you." Franky smiled, "I'd get cleaned up if I were you."

Zoro looked to his pajama bottoms.

"Yeah I guess your," Zoro looked up to find them gone, "Right."

Zoro sighed and closed the door. He then took a shower by himself. It was kinda lonely without Sanji. Zoro had gotten so bored he fell asleep in the shower. Well until the doorbell rang. Zoro woke up and put a towel on before going to the door. Two men crossed dressing were there.

"This is Candy-kuns husband." One giggled.

They giggled looking at Zoro. They let themselves in admiring the darker skinned man.

"Did you perverts take Sanji?" Zoro growled.

They walked around him, "We might know where candy-kun is."

They stopped in front of him there fake nails trailing down his skin.

"Give us a little peak and we will tell you."

Zoro groaned he pursed his lips to the two overdramatize makeuped men.

"You swear you will tell me where Sanji is?" Zoro asked.

They both nodded, Zoro sighed and unfolded the towel around his hips. They went wide and smiled with there glossy lips. Zoro wrapped up again. They giggled as Zoro felt uncomfortable in his skin.

"Where's Sanji?"

"Close your eyes."

"Huh?"

"Close your eyes tall dark and handsome."

Zoro sighed closing his eyes, then he got whacked in the head knocking him out. They stood looking at Zoro knocked out.

"Maybe we should of have had him get dressed."

The other shrugged, "More fun for us."

And they had fun dressing Sanji's husband. Then they had a struggle getting the muscular man into the car.

"Ewe! He's drooling on me!"

Then they tossed him in the car and drove off. Zoro woke up with a headache sitting in a chair in a empty strip bar. He tried to move but he was tied to the chair.

'Greetings from Himeros, God of sexual desire, son of Aphrodite, lay back and feast as this audio guides you through new and exciting positions.'

Zoro looked around when the curtains opened. Zoro turned away seeing a blonde leaning against a pole.

"Shitty Marimo won't look at your own husband?" Sanji called.

Zoro's eye widened slowly turning to Sanji leaning against the pole. He was dressed in a short vest showing off his chest and abs. Zoro's eyes trailed down to the short spandex shorts and garter belt with red socks. His heels were a shiny white and white fur around his socks and the vest.

"So, what do you think?" Sanji asked.

Zoro pulled at his restraints, "Get me out of here so I can beat you to a pulp."

"I know your mad at me, I wanted to give you a little surprise for Christmas."

Zoro looked up at him.

"Please, just let me do this for you?" Sanji asked.

And Zoro gave in, as the music started up Sanji showed off how flexible he really could be. Zoro loved every minute of it, memorizing every turn, flip, and move Sanji made around that pole. Zoro struggled in the chair again. If he wasn't bound to the chair he'd be up their ripping the fabric off Sanji's body. Sanji slowed going around the pole and stopped. He smirked watching Zoro struggle. Sanji hopped off stage and strode up to Zoro. He looked up to Sanji.

"Awe poor Marimo restrained to such a strong chair." Sanji teased.

Zoro growled. Sanji hummed sitting on his lap wrapping his arms around Zoro's neck. He kissed him softly then pulled back whispering in his ear.

"Touch me, touch me, don't be shy, I'm in charge like a G.U.Y. I'll lay down face up this time under you like a G.U.Y." Sanji sang in his ear.

Sanji sat back pulling out a knife from his stockings. Cutting off Zoro's restraints, he picked Sanji up throwing him over his shoulder. They went into a back getting a private room with soundproof walls.

"I'm surprised you didn't get lost." Sanji teased.

Sorry it's Christmas related and it's kinda bad. It's kinda old.