Louise woke up the next morning and found himself on the sofa outside the house. His head was hurting and he had bad acid reflux. He could smell himself without reaching his nose to his armpits. It smelled bad. In fact, so bad that he just go up from the sofa and puked on the grass a few tiles away from it. 

After shitting water for two hours in the bathroom, he puked for another thirty minutes. Then, he took a shower, brushed his teeth, wore some fresh clothes. He came out, had some lunch because breakfast time was already over. Two bites in and he felt extremely gassy. So, he farted and with his fart came shit. 

So, he got up again, ran to the toilet and shat for another fifteen minutes. He had bad diarrhea and his head was spinning. When he was finally done, he looked at his underwear lying on the floor. It had shit on it, "Oh my god!" Harry stood outside the bathroom because he had to pee. He had been waiting for the past ten minutes, "What is brother even doing?"

His mother soon walked out of the room, "Is your brother up?"
"Yes, up and in the bathroom since the morning. I really need to pee!"
She knocked at the bathroom door, "Louise, open the door. What are you doing in there?"
Louise felt cold sweat run down his neck, 'If Harry finds out I shat my pants, he's not forgetting it,'

"Ugh, I have shit so much that I can feed a family of four for a week,"
Mrs Louverne and Harry were disgusted, "Harrison, go use the bathroom upstairs,"
"But the flush there doesn't work. The plumber didn't fix it yesterday, remember?"
"Where's my phone? Lemme call that goddamn plumber again," They went away.

Now, let us watch fourteen-year-old Louise do his own laundry for the first time. He filled a bucket of water and threw his underwear in it, "Where's the detergent?!" 
'Oh shit, it must be in the laundry room!' Now that he was butt naked and his underwear was wet, he had no way to reach the laundry room without passing the living room. His mother could see the living room from the kitchen, so he definitely could not go but naked there.

There weren't even any towels in there and he did not wat to wear his wet, shit stained underwear. Then, he looked at the toilet paper roll. In life, a man must make tough choices. After two minutes and sixteen seconds of contemplation, Louise knew what he wanted. He took the toilet paper and wrapped it around his pelvis. It covered him well enough. He was ready. He slowly walked out of the bathroom, taking short steps because the toilet paper was not the most stretchy thing out there. One wrong step and he would become the exhibitionist.

After five minutes of slow walking, he reached the kitchen only to find out that his mother was not there. "Man, I was doing that dumbass shit for what?" He got up straight and relaxed himself, the paper started rolling down his hips, "Shit!" He held it from the back and it tore from the front, exposing his genitals. Suddenly the main door opened and Ryan and MJ walked in, "Louise!"

Ryan screamed and covered his eyes, "Oh my god!"
MJ pulled his pants down and walked towards Louise, his nose was covered with big, white bandages, "Louise,"
"What the fu-"
"Fuck you. How are you so skinny and still bigger than me?!"
"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" Louise covered himself with his hands, "WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"

"Louise? What's going on?" His mom yelled from the laundry room, "Fuck!" He left everything and begun running upstairs, "Come after me, you idiots!"
"Sure," MJ ran after him, his pants were still hanging on his thighs. Ryan slowly followed them up. Mrs Louverne came out of the laundry room, "Where did he go?"

Louise ran to his room, but Harry came out of his room, "Brother, you yelled?" He saw him naked, "What are you doing?" He was used to this. But he was not used to was seeing MJ naked, "Hehehehehe" He ran after Louise into his room and then he saw Ryan walk up the stairs and walking into his room, closing the door behind him. Zalia walked out of her room, "What was all that commotion?"

"Brother got his freinds over,"
"Louise has friends? Oh my god! Let's see what they are up to,"

She touched the doorknob and she heard Louise yell from inside, "PUT YOUR PANTS ON, YOU WEIRDASS!"
"Ryan, pull your pants down, let's compare sizes,"
"No, I am very average, really. It's nothing impressive,"
"GET THOSE FUCKING PANTS DOWN RIGHT NOW!" MJ screamed.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Louise screamed back.

She opened the door and found Ryan holding on the bed with MJ pulling his pants almost down to his knees and Louise had grabbed MJ by his hair from behind to make him stop. MJ's face turned red and he covered himself first, followed by Louise. Ryan still had his briefs on so he just pulled his pants back up. 

She closed the door quietly and went to her room. She may or may not have been disturbed for the next one week, "I hate men..."

"I'm so embarrassed right now" MJ looked at Louise, "Zalia saw my soft wewe, what if she think I'm too small?"
"THAT IS WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT?! Oh lord..." Louise covered his forehead as he opened his closet and put some briefs on. It was too hot for anything else so he simply sat on the computer chair while MJ lay on the floor and Ryan sat on bed.

"So, why are you guys here again?"
"You don't remember? Oh right, you were unconscious" Ryan asked while MJ was busy pressed the bandages on his nose while wondering about something.
"So, when you fainted, we carried you back through a cab. Well, the cab driver and me...we were trying to handle you when Harry saw us and misunderstood. Your mom and dad came out of the house with a gun. She asked the cab driver to fucking surrender. They snatched his phone away. I tried to tell them what happened and how he was not trying to rape you.

"Rape me?! What the fuck was going on?"
"Calm down. I was just explaining them it was a misunderstanding on Harry's part, which is not his fault because he's a child. But then you mom found child...pornography on his phone...and they called the police. And he was arrested,"

"Guys, do you think Zalia hates me now?" MJ just jumped in and broke the flow of the conversation.
"Shut the fuck up. Who cares if she does? You are gay," Louise was pissed off.
"Who says I'm gay? Ay, man, it's just the homies,"
"Fucking excuses for you to be gay, that's what they are,"
"It's not gay if it's the homies,"

"That was the first time I saw a living, breathing pedophile," Ryan looked at Louise.
"You've never seen a pedophile?"
"I've never seen a one that is alive,"
"...Hopefully, it stays that way. I am damn sure you have more of those creeps around you than you know," He looked at MJ, "By the way, what happened to your nose, Mitchelle?"

"He broke his nose protecting you. If that is not the cutest thing ever, I don't even know what is. He totally has a crush on you," Ryan smiled at MJ and MJ winked.
"Ah, piss off. I fear he's a pedophile," Louise had stopped making sense again.
"Louise, that is factually impossible. He is fourteen! There's no way he can be a pedophile,"
"Well, unfortunately, he'll grow up...We must kill him before he evolves into his final form,"

Ryan looked concerned, "You want to kill your best friend?"
"Yeah, I'm the most adorable thing out there...Even with a broken nose. The doctor says I can't take this off before he takes some weird thingy out of my nose. It's there to give it structure again. But now, I am gonna have the perfect nose, guys! Should I get a botox while I'm at it?"

"Kill yourself," Louise said.
"Louise!" Ryan gasped, "Mitchelle, I don't think you need botox. You have beautiful skin, with no wrinkles at all!"
'He just described basically every fourteen year old. Who the fuck has wrinkles at fourteen unless you've been doing mad meth and coke since eight? He ain't no fucking European. Man, I'm done' Louise looked at Ryan, 'I think I am forgetting something,'

Soon, the plumber came in the Louverne residence and started fixing the bathroom downstairs before he could fix the flush upstairs, "Madam, I would need that bucket. Could you take the clothes out of it?"
"What clothes?" She looked inside and saw Louise's underwear, "Hah, was Louise trying to do his own laundry? What a sweet child," He picked it up and got shit on her fingers, "The fuck?" She screamed and threw the underwear at the plumber, it hit him on his arm and it glided down, leaving behind shit on his arm.

"Calm down, madam! It's just shit!"
"NO! NO!" She tumbled on the water bucket and fell into the bathtub. The plumber rushed to her, slipped on the bathroom floor and fell forward, hitting his the bathtub. 
"Oh no, are you okay?" Mrs Louverne asked as he rubbed his forehead.

"Mama, what's all that noise?" Harry looked at Mrs Louverne, "Nothing, Harry. Just a bit of an inconvenience," She said as she pressed the plumber's forehead, "I think it's swollen,"
"It has gotten pretty big, I should go home for today,"

"Honey, I'm back from work," Harry heard his father and rushed to the door, "Daddy! Welcome home!"
"Thanks sweetheart, where's joe mama?"
"Mom is rubbing Mr plumber's head, it's gotten big,"
"WHAT?! She's giving head to the plumber?!"

He ran to the bathroom as fast as he could but there was no one there, except an underwear lying on the wet bathroom floor. He picked it up and stared at it for a long while, "That dude definitely smaller than me...Bit sad, innit,"

Mr Louverne lay on Harry's lap as he cried, "She is not satisfied with me, I fucking knew it, mate,"
Harry had no idea what was going on so he just patted his head, "Don't worry, dad. Do you want chocolate? It always makes me happy,"
"Chocolate? Wait, you are right, Harry!" He got up, "I can show her that I am better than him! Tonight, I will be the man!"

So, Mr Louverne called up all his friends. All the dads that he knew assembled in the house's garage with beer, chips and the sheer will to make decisions. Lawns had been left un-mowed, wet towels had been left behind on beds and kids were left unguarded as Mr Louverne, Mr Roberts, Garry and Mr Reginald took their seat around a round table, all with buttoned shirts and short, khaki knickers, crocks on their feet and caps on their heads.

"Why is Garry here? He ain't even a dad!"
"I'm infertile, you fucktard,"

Mr Reginald always hated Garry. He was everywhere he went, even at places that he wasn't supposed to be. Garry was newly married to a Russian wife he got with when he was deployed outside for three months. They fell in love, made love and married within three months while Reginald spent fifteen years of his life to get the spine to propose to his girlfriend. Who had already rejected him twice. 

Then, how did Garry get so lucky? After this, everyone hated Garry. 
"He is a smart man and he is our friend, Reginald. So, he is welcomed anywhere a fruitful decision has to be made,"
"Fruitful, heh," Reginald chuckled. He was proud of being the dad of three wonderful daughters, but truly, his daughters were a menace to the neighborhood. They were notorious, ill-mannered and extremely spoiled.

"I say, beat the plumber up and make him spill the beans on his techniques," Garry shone his vision upon the dads and they all agreed at once. Now it was three days and a Garry against the neighborhood plumber. Who would win?

-To be continued