You know what I'm thinking— According to all that I witness nowadays, I think that humans are evolving.

Maybe in the near future, humans won't look like anything how they do now.

Maybe they get bigger lips or smaller butts. Or their dicks grow so large that they'd get kind of get—A third leg between their legs WHICH IS EXTREMELY GROSS! Ew... Have fun future prostitutes!

WHO EVEN WROTE THIS SCRIPT? RYU?!

I did it! >:3

Who are you?

I'm Pedi Cock, I'm 90 years old. My son died due to final stage armpit Herpes  and ever since then the world has been dark for me...

"THAT'S CAUSE YOU ARE WEARING SUNGLASSES!"

"Since my life is dark, I'll light up everyone else's life so their life isn't as dark as mine."

"LIKE I SAID, IT'S THE GODDAMN SUNGLASSES! AND what the fuck have you written in here, you dirty minded squirt! Mr Pedi Cock!"

(Just saying but doesn't this dude's name mean pedicure for his cock?)
I—SHUT UP, RYU!

I don't have a dirty mind.

Then what is this?

Erm.... Your dick?

LOOK AT THE PAPER, NOT SOMETHING WHAT'S BENEATH IT! MAN! YOU REALLY ARE DIRTY MINDED!

I'm not dirty minded, I just have a sexy imagination. You are such a hot young man. I can't breathe, I'm asthmatic just by looking at you—

THEN DIE! WHAT ARE YOU, A PEDO?
(You still doubt it?)

NO! IS THIS OK FOR ME TO BE NEAR HIM AS A CHILD?
(I supoose not,)

THEN RYU,THROW HIM OUT RIGHT NOW OR I'LL LEAVE! THIS MAN IS MAKING ME EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE! READERS ARE GIVING RED FLAGS!

Staff members picked him up and threw him out of the story.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Wait why the heck is there a staff member in the story?

(They just come and go. How do you think Brandon finds his chainsaw everytime he is out for a kill?)

...Ahem! So~ Where were we? Yeah! Maybe in the near future, humans won't look like anything how they do now. Maybe we grow facial hair, or maybe we lose the hair on our head.

Maybe we all lose our brains and our intellectual growth begans falling, people go free as fuck and post random shit on Twitter which they later delete. The government might start cutting electricty of houses who have a party and all those people may gather and vote for a motherfucker to become their president and fuck up the entire fucking system and the country!

Wait—I think all this has happened already...

(This line doesn't indicate any person you know. Any resemblance to any person, dead or alive, is a pure coincidence.)

Let's now get back to how, I, Harry Louverne, fucked up REAL BAD and I still don't look a day older.

The secret to this, guys—Is the Super Youth Lala death token cream— Pichiu~
Do you wanna look like you're eight again? THEN ORDER NOW!
(Product placement cause need that money~)

I was thinking all this bullshit when I felt the ground beneath us breaking. Finally, the ceiling tore apart and we fell on the floor in the mall. I looked ahead and saw Jaden.

Why do I see him everywhere?

And, why does everyone wants to kill Jaden? There was this weird ass dude who was pointing a gun at him. He looked like a terrorist.
"JADEN!" I shouted and that man turned towards me.

"Aye~ Who are you?" The potential terrorist asked. He had a Spanish accent and wore a mariachi hat and a mariachi band behind him on a black suit and black sunglasses. This isn't even Chicano culture anymore...

I swear to God some people are just there to offend Ralf.

"I'm just a handsome passerby and as a good samaritan, I just wanted to let you know that..." Brandon said.

"That?" I said.
"That?!" The (potential) terrorist said.
"That?" Jaden said.

That you speak Spanish too?
You're handsome?
You love Kate?
You are bi?
YOU GOT A BIG DICK?

"...That you zipper is down, dude. Pull it up, your size ain't that great to show off"
Can you please demonstrate the exact size of a male genitalia so that we'll know when to show off? And why are you even looking there?

Yep, we don't want the terrorist to ruin his reputation. Look at that poor guy, you just embarassed him and now he's all flustered.

"People with small peepee are gay," He pouted.
YOU TALK AS IF YOU HAVE AN ANACONDA IN THERE!

"Aye~ Who are you?" The (potential) terrorist asked me. ME—Who probably looked that the most NORMAL person out there. Nevermind, this has given me the "be as stupid as possibe" card.

"Me?" I smiled, "I'm his girlfriend,"
"WHAT?" Brandon looked disgusted.

DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! IT'S NOT AS IF I'M ENJOYING THIS EITHER!

Meanwhile, the (potential) terrorist looked at Brandon, "And who is she?"
Listen dude, are you a dimwit?! SERIOUSLY MAN, IF HE IS MY BOYFRIEND, THEN WHAT WILL I BE TO HIM, HIS SISTER?!"

"Are you both really dating?" The (potential) terrorist asked. Why are you so interested?

I looked at him, "Of course. I love him with all my butt!"
"Butt?" Brandon said.
"I would say heart but my butt is bigger," I giggled.

That, people, was the ugliest giggle of human history.
(If it's you, I believe it,)
I—J—JUST SHUT UP, RYU!

"You are gay!" Brandon shouted.  BRUH—STOP WASTING MY EFFORTS!

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME, YOU BAST—BEAUTY" I said, checking on my swears.

"Aye~ What the fuck did you just call him?" The (potential) terrorist asked.
"I meant—Bust, Bust beauty!" I said.

"Hold on, he's a guy" The (potential) terrorist said.
"Yeah so, can't he have boobs?" I said "Even I have a dick"

"What?" The (potential) terrorist said. I felt bad for that guy. He looked so confused. But more than that, nobody gave a damn about him.

People were just walking by, unaffected by the fact that this guy has a fucking gun in his hand and was to be considered seriously.

Californians, I don't know what to say anymore. We are literally brave hearts. We are so brave that even tigers are have been extint here, scared by our bravery.

"Aye~ Wait—What? I can't get it. You have a dick and he has boobs? And you both like each other, right?" The (potential) terrorist said.

"Then kiss!" MJ jumped down from the glass window.

HEY!
IT'S THIRD FLOOR, ALRIGHT! REWIND THIS AND LET ME SEE HOW THE HELL YOU GOT HERE!

*Rewinding*

I was sitting inside my bathroom this morning and praying to grow—

HEY DON'T REWIND THIS SO MUCH! FAST FORWARD IT!

LFLOSTAIRXHHOCPPJDPWE

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS BOOK?!

THE FOURTH WALL IS BROKEN, JOHNNY TEDSON'S DICK IS BROKEN, MRS FIG'S MARRIAGE IS BROKEN, BRANDON'S HEAD IS BROKEN, I'M BROKEN, BUT MJ IS NOT BREAKING EVEN AFTER JUMPING FROM THE THIRD FLOOR! I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU WANT AUTHOR, WHAT?!

(Le gae ;-))

...You know what, let it be. We'll have a private chat after this, Ryu.

As MJ approached us, the (potential) terrorist turned his gun towards him, "Don't move! I'll shoot!"
"Your cum?"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?!

"I'm not joking!"
"Me neither,"
MJ just took out a rifle and shot him in his head. He fell down on the floor.

"Real men don't talk, they shoot" MJ said. That's not how men work, that's how mafia works!

"GAH! YOU KILLED HIM!" Jaden's personal assistant shouted. You're next.

MJ shot him next.
Did I just jinx it?

"Sir, the drink you ordered," A waiter said as he moved towards MJ with a glass of juice. Poor waiter, so oblivious to the situation! You're gonna die, mate!

MJ shot him.
An innocent man has died today!
"Aw man! My drink spilled" MJ said.
Priorities.

...Only the most unimaginable stuff happens in this book. Drop your IQ to the Earth's depth, then think of the most illogical situation that would most probably never happen. And that is how AIW is born.

"Congratulations, you've found the money, give me the other bag for my collection," MJ took the suitcase from me.

I'm done with my seniors.

MJ walked towards us, but suddenly the huge glass wall beside him broke and Ralf jumped out of the glass wall, landing on MJ.

"WHAT THE—RALF!?" MJ shouted.
"Sorry, brother!" Ralf got up.
"Ugh! My back!" MJ got up.

"FORGET YOUR BACK! WE HAVE BIGGER ISSUES HERE!" I shouted.
"Yeah, I should check my dick. What if it's broken?"

"THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE!" I shouted at that human excuse of a GOOF!
"Oh really? Then should I break yours?" MJ asked.
"It'd then be a small issue," Brandon gave some not-required commentary.

We heard the police buzzer and looked down. Two policemen on bike came towards us while we were still INSIDE THE MALL AND THREE DEAD BODIES WERE LYING BESIDE US!

"THINK OF SOMETHING!" I shouted.
"I'm thinking how police on bikes arrest people. "ALRIGHT, GET IN THE BASKET" MJ said.

"NOT THIS, YOU IDIOT!" I shouted.
"Alright gentlemen" The police officer said, "Tell me, who the hell broke the glass of the mall,"

...Bruh.
This is America.

MJ talked to them and paid for the expenses but THEY WERE MISSING THE MAIN CRIME HERE!

"Why are these people sleeping here?" The police officer asked. They don't look like they are sleeping.
"Drug addicts, maybe?" MJ said.

AS IF THEY'D BELIEVE IT!
(Poor Harry. He's a noob in the thug life!)
What?

"Oh God. Youngsters nowadays," The police officer left the scene.

This is aMeRicA.

"WHAT WAS THAT?! YOU KILLED THEM AND THE POLICE OFFICERS DIDN'T EVEN CARE!" I said.
"They know me. And I didn't kill them. This is just a sting gun. They'll sleep till tomorrow morning" MJ said.

"Oh thank God" I said with relief.

"AWESOME! Hey, let's kill more people!" Brandon said. My eye was twitching uncontrollably.
"Give this here," He took that suitcase of drugs from us.

MJ got a call, he picked it up.
"Gotta go guys," He said.
"Wait—It's just flour, right?" Brandon asked as he pointed at the suitcase.
"NO! IT'S DRUGS!" I said.
"It's just flour, bruh"
"Alright then, imma snort it,"

I did that and I woke up on the next Sunday. I was high the entire week! And hence, I failed my Spanish exam again!

Jaden is going to kill me.

-To be continued

Nova
All I Want is you baby