Hi guys, I am Harry. 
And this is how I fuck up everyone's life, including mine.
I can never let my friends do stupid things alone. Henceforth why one should just not make any friends!

"Are you sure we won't die after this? I want the money while I'm still alive," I said.
"Don't worry, the worst that can happen is that you'd lose a hand or two which will give you a reservation in your college so it's a win-win situation!" MJ convinced me why it wasn't a bad idea.
"Oh that doesn't sound that bad... I won't lose my feet right? I've heard some weirdos have a fetish for them so I might need them just in case"
"I feel personally attacked," Brandon said. 

"If we are caught then you are deaf and I can't speak English, okay?" I told Brandon. We both were sitting in a go cart, on a terrace of a skyscraper, dressed up as girls. You may wonder what had happened to end us up in this situation. It's a long story...But it's all because of my gay awakening. Till now, it has brought nothing but trouble.

This all started yesterday night—

"Because I am gay" I came out to Jaden.

"What?" I realised he was deaf.
"I like boys,"
"What?"
"I am gay! G-A-Y, the rainbow one in the LGBTQ+ community, that's me,"
"...What?"

Bruh.
Don't tell me he's deaf.
He got me so frustrated that I, out of anger and despair,
took off the metal clip from my hair
and threw it in the air.

Suddenly, thunder fell on the clip and from it, transferred to a nearby electric pole which burnt and fell on a brand new car parked beside it. The engine of the car blasted and the car caught fire. The fire rose to the pole and rolled into the owner's main power supply. The electricity box of that house burnt and the owner ran out of the house and poured water on the car while his house burnt in the background.

The electricity box exploded and here went all the power supply of the area. The man's shirt caught fire. He shouted and ran around for help. His wife rushed outside and covered him with a blanket. The blanket caught fire and the man started shouting louder. He continued shouting for two minutes until his wife brought the garden hose and threw the water on him.

Just then, it started raining again. The rain is planning for something.

"Harry, you are gay?" Jaden asked, ignoring all the commotion going on behind him. Finally, he heard me the 34871984710415th time.
"Yes," But now, I was busy looking at the commotion and partially ignoring him.
"Do you like someone?" Jaden asked.
"I do, actually" I might be into you, dumbass.
"Who?"

"Jerome..." That's how I fuck my life.
"But he is already dating someone," Jaden said.
"Yeah, but I still like him"
"Okay," I wasn't looking at him. I was looking all the shit that was going on behind him.

Because naturally, I WAS AT FAULT!

The man's wife was beating him. It was a black couple. Suddenly, her daughter came towards her, "I saw that nigga throw something and after that our car be on fire,"
"Oh shit," I turned back but they grabbed me.
"IS WHAT SHE SAYING TRUE, YOU LIL' NIGGA?"
"NO?! It's not the car that caught fire, the pole caught fire! Get your facts straight, miss!"

Well, I fucked up.

"Alright, how much do you want?" MJ took out his wallet as we both stood in front of his apartment's door. He lives away from his parents in a personal apartment.
"Not much, only thirty seven...thousand dollars," I stood at his door.
He blew a whistle and kept his wallet back inside his pocket.

"You can't give it to me?" I said.
"Of course I can. It's like one fourth of one month's allowance. But first, tell me why you want it? You wanna buy a girl, drugs or some porn? I have 'em all for free,"
"No just going grocery shopping"

"You broke something and you can't ask Louise for the money since he'll obviously kill you," MJ smiled.
"Yes, now give me the money"
"It's not fun to just give it in a boring way"
"What are you planning?"

"I'll deliver you the money..." MJ said with a smirk.
"This is definitely not ending on good terms,"

And so, as you can tell, I fucked up again.

"All done, Ralf?" 
We stood on the terrace of a building in front of the mall.
"Yes brother," Ralf turned towards MJ. He had done our makeup to resemble a female as much as we could.

"Perfect!" MJ removed his sunglasses. I took his sunglasses, broke them into two and threw them away.
"WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?!" I grabbed his collar.
"Entertainment?" MJ said.

"Which genre?" Brandon said.
"DON'T MOTIVATE HIM! CAN'T YOU BE NORMAL AT LEAST ONCE IN YOUR LIFE?"
"I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life," MJ replied.

I'm just wasting my time on him. I didn't want to die alone so I brought Brandon with me, just in case I felt like changing my mind.

"Now, here's the plan" MJ said, "The money is kept in a black suitcase inside one of the ladies bathroom in the mall. You guys gotta find it and retrieve it within 2 hours. If you do, the money is all yours, if you don't, then you'll be paying me twenty thousand bucks instead, for wasting my time."

"Why will we pay?!"
"Time is money" MJ said.
"So, that's why you dressed us up in this?" Brandon asked.

"Yes,"
"HOW IS THIS 'DELIVERING' THE MONEY?"
"It's AIW" MJ said.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"
"Something," MJ winked.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF!" I groaned.
"Already done in the morning." MJ joined his thumb with his index finger and produced the ugliest expression in the history of emojis. His Lenny face be quaking.

"How the fu—You know what, I'm not even gonna ask! Brandon, let's just... Just get outta here" I said and started walking.

"Where are you going?" MJ asked.
"To the mall?" I said.
"We are on the 35th floor of this skyscraper. The lift is out of order. It'll take you thirty minutes to reach the bottom if you take the stairs. You know your time is limited, right?" MJ said.

"Then, what should I do?" I said.
"...Idea!" MJ said.

He made us sit on a go cart and bailed a wire from the terrace of the sky scraper and the mall.

"Are you sure we won't die after this? I want the money while I'm still alive," I said.
"Don't worry, the worst that can happen is that you'd lose a hand or two which will give you a reservation in your college so it's a win-win situation!" MJ convinced me why it wasn't a bad idea.
"Oh that doesn't sound that bad... I won't lose my feet right? I've heard some weirdos have a fetish for them so I might need them just in case"
"I feel personally attacked," Brandon said. 

"If we are caught then you are deaf and I can't speak English, okay?" I told Brandon. Brandon nodded with a smile. MJ pushed the go cart and we went straight down.

Both of us shouted—The difference is that he was enjoying it but I wasn't. One slip one kill. My eyes couldn't open properly due to all the air pressure while Brandon just looked PERFECT with his hair swindling in the air.

"This just feels like a roller coaster ride!" Brandon was in his five year old form.
"YES! BUT THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THAT IN A ROLLER COASTER, WE KNOW THAT WE WILL MAKE IT OUT ALIVE—UGH!" I felt like puking.

Have I ever mentioned that I'm air sick? And we are literally floating in the air.

"We're about to land!" Brandon shouted.
"Try not to grab attention" I covered my mouth. I couldn't hold it anymore so I poked my head outside the go cart and puked my heart out. It landed on a man walking below us while we broke the glass and landed on the fourth floor of the mall.

The man, who was now covered with puke, looked up and saw pigeons.
"Man! What do pigeons eat these days? It has increased in quantity and decreased in quality!" He said. I swear I'm never asking money from MJ again.

Brandon and I lay on the floor, still inside that go cart.
"I'm pretty sure you said "Try not to draw any attention"" Brandon crossed his arm.
"You can't control puke but you can control your screaming,"
"Wait a minute, say that again—"
"You can't control puke but you can control your—WHAT THE FUCK! STOP BEING SO HORNY ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME!"

EVERYONE WAS STARING AT US! EVEN PIGEONS! AND WHO WOULDN'T IF SOMEONE HAD BARGED INSIDE THE MALL WHILE BREAKING THE GLASS?

"Sounds like good oral sex stimulation," Brandon said.
"How many times do you think of sex in a hour?"
"In an hour?"
"A day?"
"About four to five time...In a minute,"
"GET FUCKED, CUNT!"

"HEY! YOU THERE!" The security shouted as they ran towards us.
"Brandon! Run!" I shouted as I grabbed Brandon's hand and ran towards a clothes shop. We hid between the clothes and waited for them to go away. When they finally went away, we decided to leave. I turned back and saw that Brandon was trying on blouses, "This one is good, right?"

"Bro, what the—Oh hey, this is actually good. I should take one for sis,"
What the hell am I doing?
Brandon and I wasted half an hour shopping. I almost forgot why we were actually there. I dropped all the bags, "YOU DISTRACTED ME!"
"No, I got distracted," I looked at his head.

"I lost my wig cuz of that,"

...Bruh.
WHY DID I BRING HIM ALONG?!
Why? Because I can never let my friends do stupid things alone.
And this is how I fuck up everyone's life, including mine.

-To be continued

Harry Louverne
All I Want Is you baby