BACK TO SCHOOL, BITCHES!
Yeah, Christmas vacations are over and now I'm back to school after a month. It's January 25th, and I am glad to return back to this shitty world. I was getting bored at home anyways.
IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO ARE LESS TALENTED THAN YOU!

"Hi Kate" Harry approached me.
"Hi Harry" I said.
Jaden passed beside us.

"Hi Jaden" I said. He just went away without looking back. He had grown out his hair. Now they reached till his shoulders. I'm not really a fan of long hair because I have washed my hair in the sink for my entire life and I plan to continue doing that.

"...What happened to him?" I asked Harry.
"He looked as if he had shit struck up his ass!" Harry said.

"AW COME ON! First thing to talk in the morning—Constipation" I said as we started walking "This sounds like—"

"Dog shit" Harry said.
"Yeah" I said.
"No there's literally dog shit lying there" Harry pointed at a supposedly cholera infected poop lying in the halls.

"I guess our principle's got a new pet" I said, "HEY WATCH OUT DUDE, IT'S DOG SHIT!" I shouted as I saw a guy walking towards the shit, engrossed in his phone.

He looked up after I shouted, his leg almost touched the shit when he suddenly swung his body but he didn't step on the poop—He landed on it!
"OH MY GOD!"

"That's nothing compared to what I saw last year. This small kid stepped into a pile of cow shit and his entire foot got submerged into it," Harry said. I did not want to know that.

This is an epic precursor of the winter semester. I just passed the exams of the summer semester and I'm dying. It's Monday, so first class English and second class, Biology.

Mrs Fig, our Biology teacher, is just an ordinary lady with a figure as if she ate a huge pear. She is the only fig I do not want to eat.

SHE IS ONE OF THE REASONS I HATE SCHOOL! Lemme tell you why,

"Mrs Fig, this is my project," I went to the faculty office.
"I'm sorry dear, but this file cover— You'll have to replace it" She said as she threw away my case study file while I brought for $8.

"Excuse me ma'am but WHY?" I said.
"Because I don't like it's fucking color! It's so depressing to look at this color, just like your tits" She said.

"I AIN'T GOT NO TITS!" I said.
"Yes, but don't worry, there's a massage to grow—"
"IMMA GUY!" I said.

"And I'm married!" She said. 
When you insult yourself and someone else at the same time.

"Wow someone actually accepts you."
"How dare you disrespect your teacher? GET OUT OF THE ROOM!"

Since then I HATE HER! SHE EVEN HAS A MISCONCEPTION ABOUT MY GENDER! I'VE TOLD HER A THOUSAND TIMES THAT I'M A GUY!

"So, listen carefully, this is important for your examination. It comes as a one marker," She said, "The corpus luteum releases a hormone that helps thicken the lining of the uterus, getting it ready for the egg. After the egg is released, it moves into the fallopian tube. It stays there for about 24 hours, waiting for a single sperm to fertilize it. All this happens, on average, about 2 weeks after the last menstrual cycle of the woman. Any doubts?"

One marker. Seriously? What is her brain made up of? Dead testicle cells?

And what do we have to write if it's a five marker? The entire intercourse session before fertilisation?

We had a test before the vacations and I got back the test paper today. She literally gave this question in the test—

Question 32) Rearrange- 'e p n i s'
Hint- This organ is the most vital organ of the body especially when erect.

Those who answered spine got an A+ while those who didn't are attending this class. I have no idea what does 'Fertilisation and Contraceptives' have anything to do with a spine.

WHY ARE WE STUDYING THIS?!

"Okay, so what are the features of a contraceptive?" Mrs Fig looked at us.
"Ms Kate" She said.
"...Look, I'm a guy" I said.

"Alright, Ms a guy, answer my question. What are the features of a contraceptive?" She said.

"Lubrication?" I said.
"Sit down" She said and looked at Johnny Tedson.
"Mr Tedson" She said.

"What?" He looked away from his phone.
"This is confiscated!" She took away his phone.
"It's okay, I wanted a new one anyways. That was outdated," He said. Rich kids, guys. Don't judge.

"Could you please tell me the features of a contraceptive?" Mrs Fig asked.
"W—What are you planning to do with my phone?" Tedson asked. Don't worry, she's married.
"ANSWER ME FIRST!" She slammed his phone on his desk.

"What should I tell?" Tedson said.
"What are the damn features of a fucking contraceptive?!"
"It has got flavours?" He said.

The entire class burst into laughter.

"Anything else?"
"Anti..." He said.
"Yes! Yes! Anti what?"
"Anti raw sex?" Tedson said.

People were laughing again.

"Thank you, sit down and don't speak anymore," She continued the lecture.
"Now, I'm gonna tell you something very important"
"Excuse me!" Johnny Tedson got up.

"Yes, Mr Tedson" She said.
"What I'm about do is also very important," He played some shit ass music on his phone and began rapping. I'm telling you that song was ass, the worse I've ever heard. He removed his shirt and stood up on his desk, dancing in his underwear. He be dancing on meme music naked, boys.

https://youtu.be/e4uGkbqbs5M

Instead of meming yourself, you could be just said that you're gay, I would believe it. Now, I just looked down at him with my judgy eyes.

Everyone houled and clapped.
This is why I hate YouTubers, they make you watch shit twice—Once in real life and once after they record it on camera.

Why was I subjected to this though? I did nothing to deserve this.

"What are you doing?!" She stopped the music and someone said, "It's a prank! Look, the cameras!"
"What are you doing, Mr Tedson?"
"Presenting desires" Tedson got down and stood in front of her.

"Which kind of desire was that?" She said.
"I need to go pee"
"COULDN'T YOU JUST TELL IT TO ME?!"
"That wouldn't waste as much time as it did now"

Honestly, this guy ain't so bad. He saved us from a boring class, kudos to that. He left the class like a boss and after that I walked towards my locker and met Jaden on my way.

"Hi Jaden" I waved at him.
He just waved back at me. He looked depressed.
"Jaden, are you okay?" I asked.
"Yes," A tear rolled down his cheek.

Then, he broke down and covered his face. He cried a lot and I just stared at him like a goof because I had no idea what to do. I wanted to cry—Why was he crying?! I was feeling awkward as hell! But I had to console him. I mean, that's what friends do...

"J-Jaden?"
He looked at me. I didn't know what to say next "Erm...You want water?"
Fuck me in the ass!

We went to the rooftop and met THAT ASS (Brandon= that ass) and Harry.
"KATTY!" Brandon shouted as he waved at me.
"Hi Jaden," Harry said "ARE YOU CRYING?!"

"No, I'm fine" He said as he wiped his face.
"WHAT HAPPENED?! DID KATE BULLY YOU?" Harry asked.

I gave Harry a judgemental look. Like bruh. Me? Bully HIM? Have you seen his muscles? He can beat the living shit out of me!

"DID HE SAY SOMETHING MEAN TO YOU?" Harry asked Jaden. That moment when your brain goes on autosearch and your entire life history is repeated inside your mind, skimming all the things you have ever done which could possibly lead you to the given situation. People were crying or consoling and here I was, standing like a fucking troll and wondering about what I have achieved in my life.

"No, Kate didn't do anything," Jaden said and I came back to the present.
"Then what happened?" Harry asked.
"My girlfriend broke up with me," Jaden said.

"Huh?" Harry and I said together.
"You said you've been dating since middle school," Brandon said.
"Yes" Jaden said.

"YOU KNEW ABOUT IT?!" I asked.
"He told that to me," Brandon replied.
"WHEN?" Harry asked.
"When we went to the Korea trip."

"Jaden! You literally had a girlfriend?" I couldn't believe it.
"Kate!" Harry said.
"Sorry," I said.

"I loved her so much!" Jaden cried, "And she broke up with me on messenger"
"BUT WHY? YOU ARE SUCH A NICE GUY!" I said.

"She said she found someone better. And that I wasn't really her type," Jaden said.

"ALRIGHT! I know what to do! BRANDON!" Harry got up.
"You got it," Brandon went towards the door.

"Where is he going?" I asked.
"Kate, get that ladder. We are going to the roof of the storeroom," Harry said and I got the ladder kept at a corner on the terrace. We climbed the roof and soon Brandon joined us with an acoustic guitar. We all sat in a circle.

"What are we doing?" Jaden asked.
"Brandon always does it for me when I have a breakup so I thought he could do it for you too,"
"Oh, so you guys do do it frequently, I suppose?" I said.
"Yeah—WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!" Harry shouted at me.

"Do you know the song 'Shout out to my ex' by Little Mix?" Brandon asked.
"Yeah,"
"I know that too,"
"Well, let's sing it then."
"Pluck it, Brandon,"

https://youtu.be/HwGlQzTAMDI

Right after they finished singing, it began raining.
"Oh oh!" Kate got up ran down the ladder.
"Charge back!" They all shrieked as they ran. By the time they went inside, they were all drenched, except Kate.

"Oh, he survived," Brandon laughed.
"Shit!"
"My guitar's all wet,"
"My hair be drippin'" Harry shook his hands into his hair and all the water sprinkled everywhere.

"STOP IT! YOU FUCKING CUNT!" Brandon copied each other and finally did a head bang and fell on the floor, laughing. Jaden smiled as he looked at them.

"Harrison reminds me of a dog," Jaden said.
"Brandon reminds me of five year olds,"
After that, they all went to their next class. Harry, Jaden and I walked back to the math class.

"Now I understand why gay people are always so happy," Jaden said.
"What?" Harry said.
"I mean...There aren't these women troubles," Jaden said.

"I'm sure there are many disadvantages to that too," Yeah, like getting fucked in your ass, fighting for being the top and convincing straight dudes that you are not interested in them and have some standards.

"What?"

"I don't know. I don't have a degree in gay love," Harry said. Yeah, a degree of gay love is a must. Maybe you should go to college before you become one then.

"You know, I think I should give it a try" Jaden said.
"What do you mean?"
"What if I swing the other way?" Jaden brought his face closer to Harry. Guys, I'm still here.

Harry took a step back, "I'm sorry. But we're just friends,"
"Yeah sure. I'm not talking about you anyways,"

"What the heck? Is someone even interested in me or I'm going to marry my hand?"

Harry, remember you're fifteen?
Shut the fuck up.

-To be continued

Jaden Smith
All I Want is you baby