"What if I'm a lesbian?"

"Then you get me a daughter in law instead of a son in law. Just date and have fun."

I let out a chuckle and tease mom, "Aren't you supposed to say take it one day at a time. Go with the flow?"

She rolls her eyes, "Going with the flow is for the ones who don't know what they want out of their lives. I want you to take matters into your hand. Take it one day at a time but you have to leave the day better than you found it."

I pull the blankets up to my chest as the chilly morning air comes in through the window. I look at my mom who's sitting beside me and can't help but notice how much we think alike, because I've decided to take matters into my hands.

I've got a plan, a to-do list.

It took me four years to get around to making one, but thanks to a certain asshole in my life, it's finished:

1. Study your ass off and get into Stanford.

2. Never, I repeat, NEVER! trust anyone in your life. People just abandon you or betray you when the times get hard.

3. Do not talk or think about love. Love is a grave mental disease. It is a dirty trick played on us to achieve cheap satisfaction.

Trust me, I've learned it all the hard way.

She tucks a stray hair behind my ear and speaks, "I don't want you to miss out on the high school fun and this is the last and only year you'll get. Go out and have fun. Just don't forget the lessons you learned from the past mistake. I want you to own this year like it was just made for you."

She bends down and lightly kisses my forehead, "Now get up before you get late for school."

I bury my face deep in the pillow and scream, which comes out muffled and doesn't give me an ounce of satisfaction. I sigh, roll over onto my back and look at the ceiling.

Senior year is probably the worst time to start a new school. People would already have their own friends and groups, and I am going to be left out and lonely for the next year. But at least I would be left alone for the very first time in four years. But it's not enough to calm my nervousness down. I've been on the edge since we moved here to California, from Sea Crest a week ago.

I rub my eyes and think about how much I hate high school or any school in general.

Ughhh!

I quickly get up and rush into the bathroom to get ready. I took a bath last night, so there's no point in taking a bath and being even later.

I hastily head downstairs and grab an apple after getting ready, not in the mood to have breakfast with mom. I don't think I would be able to stomach anything right now.

"Nervous?" My mom asks from the dining table, her eyes twinkling in amusement.

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, I guess."

That's one way to put it, although "nervous" didn't seem like an adequate description for the Boston-sized pit of anxiety in my stomach.

"You'll be fine." She says soothingly and I sigh. "I know this is going to be hard for you. Going to an actual school, after being homeschooled for four years. But you're my strong girl. You've handled everything so amazingly these past four years, you'll handle this too. Think of it as a new beginning to your life, and take it one day at a time." She teases.

Changes can be thrilling, scary, happy, sad, or bittersweet and I still can't wrap my head around the sudden changes in my life as our move from Sea Crest to California was so sudden. But the one thing I am confident of is my to-do list. I have goals to achieve and milestones to reach and nobody is going to stop me from completing my to-do list this time. I'll take it one day at a time, just like mom suggested.

I finally let a small smile creep up on my face and walk around the table to kiss her on the cheek, "Love you, mom."

"I love you more. Have a good day."

"You too" I reply and rush out of the house, like a whirlwind, to reach school before 8 o'clock.

I get in my white Camaro, buckle myself up, start the car, and make my way to school, ready to face this day head-on.

I take a turn to the right, just as my thoughts turn towards the dark times, and the circumstances that led my mom and me to California.

These past four years have been difficult to say and I was just fourteen years old when my whole life turned upside down. Since Sea Crest is a really small town the news spread like wildfire. Everyone knew what had happened to me within days of it happening. The rumors, the bitching, the whispers, they broke me down, forced me to wonder if I was really the one who was to blame.

I mean, sure, I'm eighteen now but it still haunts me. I've had to see many different therapists all year round because my nightmares were getting out of hand, but now that I've gotten a hang of them I think the wounds have started healing. At least externally, because god knows, I still sleep with a night light on my nightstand, because I can't stand the darkness.

I'm not afraid of these nightmares anymore, though. Albeit, they haunt me for a few hours, making me relive the worst time of my life again and again. But the dawn always chases them away, giving me a new reason to live every day.

But what I'm most afraid of is being abandoned and betrayed, which is funny, considering I've been abandoned and betrayed by people I loved, my whole life.

My dad left my mother when she got pregnant with me and abandoned me indirectly. My best friend, the only one who's been with me since elementary school called me a slut in front of the whole school and betrayed me when the times got hard. The town, who used to be flattered by my every dance move, blamed me for everything, because that's what you do, stand with the power instead of the truth.

Soon enough, I reach school, putting an end to my train of thought. I drive through the gates of ICHS, yeah that's the name of the school, and take a deep breath as it's perfectly manicured campus comes into view.

I look up at the huge school and shudder. This place looks a lot bigger than my old school and I am already envisioning myself getting lost within it.

I go to the parking lot and see that all the spaces have already been taken, but then I see a spot empty in the middle of the parking lot, I mean who leaves the middle space empty? I try to stop and think for a second about the possibilities of this place being reserved for someone else but then I look at my watch and Fucking Hell! I'm so late! Without giving it much thought I park my car in the space and run inside the campus.

As I stumble down the hall I see the coordinator's room. I knock three times on the door and then open it when called inside. The coordinator told me to take a seat and that they would get my class schedule shortly along with someone to show me around.

It's been ten minutes since I was told to wait and I'm still sitting here. My hands are clammy, as I wipe them nervously on my jeans.

I glance around and see that the walls are decorated with the #1 state champion's posters. I'm guessing they are about ice hockey. The last school I was in, worshipped their football team and it's hockey here, but this school is four times bigger than my last one so I can't even roughly estimate how much they actually love their team.

It gives me hope that I'll be able to blend in and fade into the background and would be left alone for the very first time in four years.

"David is not Roman.." I glance up at the voice to see a brunette in a cheerleading outfit and a high ponytail entering the room. She's talking to another girl who looks exactly the same, only her hair is red and curly. They both stop at the door and I shift a bit in my chair to hear whatever they are saying.

"I don't understand. How can you say no to David? I mean hello, he's the captain of the basketball team." The redhead pouts a little, and I think that either these girls are seriously not aware of me sitting here or that they are simply ignoring me, either way, I'm happy with their choice.

"And Roman is the captain of the hockey team and have you seen me? I'm the overachiever of this school. Perfect in studies, dance, cheerleading, and I want a perfect boyfriend too. How can you even think I'll go for David?" The brunette says in a horrified, high pitched voice.

"I heard David has been going to Minnesota on the weekends or something. Probably trying to bang some faculty up there." The redhead adds and I feel my face warm for a second. I've never talked to anyone like that before, even though I try to show myself as tough, I know I can be shy at times, plus I haven't really ever had a friend with whom I can talk so openly, in a long time and when I did, it was before sex was even a blip in our minds.

"I want to get it on with Roman. I mean I'm already in Minnesota and now he's there too. Being a starring hockey player's girlfriend will make the freshman year of college a piece of cake!" The brunette says.

"Only if he gives us the time of his day, babe. If only!" The redhead replies with an eye roll.

"Kristen, you were supposed to be here at eight sharp!" The coordinator says coming from one of the back rooms in the main office. The bell rings, and she looks to the redhead. "Della, class."

I look up to see Della mutter a goodbye to Kristen then leave the office. Her curls bouncing with every step she takes. Her cheerleading skirt waving around barely reaching the end of her butt cheeks.

"Sorry, Mrs. White. I hope I didn't keep anyone waiting for too long. All new students at ICHS must get the best first day possible." She says it as if she's pitching some kind of campaign for the school. A knot begins to form in the pit of my stomach. This girl is my tour guide for the whole day today.

"Avery is behind you, and here is her schedule. You both have the same first-class, so get a move on. I already let Mr. Cole know that you'd be a little late." The coordinator says and goes back to glancing at the file in front of her.

Kristen turns to look at me and a pretty smile forms on her pretty face.

"Welcome!" She squeals, making Mrs. White, the coordinator, roll her eyes. I can see why she's a cheerleader. She can really flip that pep on and off.

"Hi," is all I can say in reply, standing up and grabbing my backpack, my voice sounding as dull and hollow as I felt.

"I'm Kristen." She reaches out her hand, and I take it. "I'm student body president and captain of the cheerleading squad." She says making me feel as if she is some kind of manipulative politician.

"Avery Daniels, " I simply tell her, because that's all I am. I don't have a list of things to trail behind my name. No such clubs or any sort of achievements. Not that anyone would actually care about it.

"It's nice to meet you. Let's get to our first class, then I can show you around later, maybe during a free period? If we have it together that is."

I follow her out of the main office and down the hall.

"Isn't starting school in the senior year will be kind of hard on you?" She asks, politely.

"Yeah maybe," I mumble and try to match her pace. She's walking so fast even with those heels on.

"Normally, I don't do this friendship shit. I think all the people in this school are fake but if you find it hard to blend in, come find me any time and I'll try to set you up with the few good people I know in this school." She speaks and turns to face me just as we reach the classroom.

"One thing though. Do not go after Roman James. That's a deal-breaker, everybody knows it, and don't tell anybody that I was being polite to you. I'm supposed to be the mean cheerleader. You know, fake it till you make it." She winks and turns to open the door of the classroom without giving me any chance to reply or even think.

We enter the classroom, the whole room goes quiet, and I gulp. I keep my eyes down to the best of my ability and pray for it to be over quickly.

"Sorry, got stuck in the main office," Kristen says ironically sounding completely unapologetic, already in her mean cheerleader role.

"It's fine, Kristen. Welcome, Avery. Please find a seat anywhere. We've already started." The teacher says and goes back to writing on the board.

"Thanks," I tell him, glancing towards the rows of desks filled with students. I go straight to the back of the room. There are two empty seats and I grab one, dropping my backpack and taking my seat. I'm already feeling like it's going to be one long day, and this was just the fucking start.

Fuck my life!

Hello hello hello amazing people! Thanks for giving this book a chance, it really means a lot!!!!❤

Did you guys like this chap?

Teaser ~ you guys will meet the 'bad boy, Roman' in the next one.

Until the next chapter 😚

Happy reading ;)

--Kiara♥