Monday morning and it's time to settle back into the routine of early mornings. My nights have mostly been sleepless since New Year's Eve, it was the last I had seen or heard from Aiden. The fact that it's Monday leaves me to wonder if we're going to walk to work together this morning or eat lunch together on our break.

Shane continued to stay in touch over the rest of the Christmas break but the conversations are normally brief. He seems like a genuinely nice guy and I have noticed the light flirting that he tends to add to his messages. He said he wanted to talk to me about something today and the thought crosses my mind if he's going to ask me out on a date. I'm still trying to figure out if I would say yes if he did.

He's smart, funny and he's easy on the eyes. He has a pretty slim build and cute shyness about him. His green eyes and dirty blonde hair really pull the whole 'sweet guy' look together. I enjoy his company and we do have a lot in common so maybe there could be something there.

It's a new year and it has been a few months since Jack and I broke up so maybe I'm ready to put myself out there again. I try to make a slightly better effort into my appearance this morning since I woke up earlier than I needed to I don't think it would hurt.

I simply just straighten my hair and apply some mascara and that's about as much effort as I can manage on a Monday morning.

Alice flew back home yesterday which means my days are going to be dull. We went on a shopping trip before she left and this time, I actually enjoyed myself a little bit. I even bought a few more clothes out of some of the money and vouchers and I got at Christmas.

Other than that, she's been trying to help me get my mind off Aiden. After your lifelong best friend just loses contact with you, it's hard to get through that kind of thing. Deep down I know that I can't exactly be mad at Sarah because I had the exact same worries that she does, I'm mad at Aiden for not standing up for himself.

He's the one that helped me work up the courage to confront Jack about the problems we were having because he knew I wasn't happy even if I didn't admit it. My only choice now is to just let Aiden work through these issues by himself and just be around when he needs me.

He may technically have distanced himself from me but he knows that I will still be there for him when he needs me because that is just the kind of friend that I am.

I begin to get lost in thought and when I finally snap out of it, I check the time a notice that I'm going to be late if I don't leave now. I finish getting ready and rush downstairs to give my mam a kiss goodbye.

It's only when I get to the door, I realise that Aiden wasn't going to be on the other side of the door. He wasn't going to be there tomorrow for school or most days after that. I try not to think about it too much and put my earphones in and press play on my playlist.

The air is still cold since it is the beginning of January. I've never been a fan of the cold but then I overheat if I wrap up too much. It's like my body can't choose which season it wants to be in. My hair can never agree with the summer heat and my skin can never agree with the winter breeze.

The paths are icy but I notice the patches of ice in order to avoid them. Aiden could never spot the ice and will forever spend his winters just sliding all over the place on our way to work or school. He has pulled me down a few times with him which would leave me cold and annoyed for the first half of my day.

He could always make up for it by buying me a chocolate bar or something. I can't exactly say no to a good bar of chocolate.

The memories of him using every curse word in the English language every time he would fall makes me smile. I know that Aiden won't be out of my life forever. A similar situation happened when he and Sarah first got together, not to this extent but I'm just going to keep convincing myself that we're still friends even if we can't act like it.

A familiar ding from the bell above the bookshop door rings in my ears when I enter the shop. Warm air from the heater above the door instantly warms me up and the smell of books make me smile. Monday mornings are never busy which gives me some extra time to wake myself up. I make sure to say good morning to the other workers on my way to the back room where I leave my coat and bag.

The Christmas season was insanely busy, so I can imagine how quiet workdays will be now that Christmas is over. Most of my shifts will probably consist of a stock check and restocking shelves. Nothing too exciting but it gives me a chance to preview new books and possibly add them to my reading list.

I jump a little when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Sorry, Julia I didn't mean to scare you."

I look up at Shane and smile, he looks nervous which can only make think one thing. I'm about to speak up to break the growing silence between us but he beats me to it as he clears his throat.

"So, I wanted to talk to you." He starts.

"Sure, what's up?"

He hesitates for a moment trying to find the words that just don't seem to be coming to his mouth.

"I was wondering if maybe...you would possibly be free this weekend?" he manages to say and his cheeks turn a pale pink colour which makes me smile. I do think his shy personality is cute but I also don't want to make him a nervous wreck.

"I am free this weekend actually. What did you have in mind?" I ask.

His eyes widen slightly, surprised by my answer.

"Oh, I was thinking we could grab some food and then go to the cinema. Unless you would rather do something else." He says.

Honestly, the food part sounds great but personally, I think that the cinema is a bad idea for a first date. You're supposed to get to know each other on a date not sit in silence but he looks nervous enough about the whole thing so maybe the cinema would be the best choice.

"No, the cinema and some food sound great," I respond with a smile and his face lights up. I feel myself blushing slightly but it disappears quickly when I glance up at the clock on the wall. We should've started our shift five minutes ago. Shane notices the direction my eyes are looking and when he sees the time, he takes hold of my wrist and leads me out to start unpacking the stock.

~ ~ ~

The entire workday is spent unpacking and putting out new stock. The tips of my fingers are sore from peeling stickers and labels all day and my back feels like it's about to snap in half due to all the heavy boxes I've carried today. Throughout the day, Shane has tossed in some flirty comments and I did the same. I have to admit that all the work seemed a little less annoying when I had Shane to keep me company.

"I think that's the last of them." Shane comments.

"Thank God, my back is killing me but at least it kept us busy all day," I say

He laughs as he closes the last box and stacks it with the rest of them. I head to the backroom to grab my coat and bag. The day actually did go by quicker than I originally expected it to, lunch was a bit lonely considering I normally eat with Aiden but I'm not exactly sure if I expected him to show up out of nowhere.

"You ready to go Jules?" I hear, did I imagine Aiden's voice or is he actually-

When I turn around Aiden is stood nervously at the front of the shop. He definitely looks hesitant about being here but he doesn't move. His eyes don't meet mine for long and he begins to scan the room in order to avoid them.

"Aiden what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to walk you home like I always do, sorry I didn't walk with you this morning. My dad needed some extra help so I left early with him." He says.

Why is he acting completely normal? Like things are ok. We haven't spoken since the party and I didn't think we would speak again for a while. Before answering the sound of someone clearing their throat is heard from behind me. The only person it could be is Shane.

"Want some company walking home?" Shane asks me.

"Actually I-"

"I'm walking her home, you can leave now,"

Aiden says, cutting me off. Why is he being so rude? He doesn't even know Shane.

"Aiden no need to be rude. Sorry, Shane, he's in a bad mood and thank you for the offer but I'm gonna walk with Aiden since he was heading in that direction anyway." I say with a smile hoping it will lighten the mood a little bit.

"That's ok, have a good week and I'll see you this weekend." He pulls me in for a hug then makes his way to the backroom to get his stuff.

I turn back to Aiden who seems to be pouting for some reason. I can't help but wonder would he have actually walked with me this morning even if he didn't have to leave early.

He turns on his heel and leaves the bookshop and I follow quickly behind. The evening has gotten a bit colder and it's already starting to get dark. I can see my breath every time I exhale. Aiden hasn't been paying attention to where he was going because before I knew it he was on the ground after slipping on some ice.

"Fuck!" He yells and I can't help but burst into a fit of laughter. My laughing fit only causes him to pull me down with him. It didn't hurt nearly as bad considering I actually landed on Aiden. The cold ice sends a shiver right through my body and I'm instantly ten times colder than I was moments ago.

"Yeah, not much laughter coming out of you now is there." He comments in between his own laughter. Now we're both laughing and for a few moments, things are great. Once one of us starts laughing, the other can't help but join in. The sound of laughter makes me smile because this is what I have missed. Right now it's as if nothing happened.

The laughing dies down when we notice the number of weird stares we're getting from people walking past us. Aiden stands up and away from the ice, holding out his hand for me and pulling me up.

"You would think that after all of the times you've slipped on ice that you would learn to pay attention to where the ice is," I say while brushing the pieces of frost off my jacket.

"If I spent my day looking at the ground to make sure I don't slip, I would end up bumping into people."

"I think I'd rather bump into people than slip in front of them."

He laughs and rolls his eyes. "Jules you are so unbelievably socially awkward that you would bump into someone and spend the next five months thinking about it." I want to argue against him but he's not wrong.

~ ~ ~

The next few minutes of our walk is silent. I think we're both thinking about what to say to the other. There's a lot of questions I want to ask but I don't know if they will start an argument or not. The last thing I was is an unnecessary argument considering this is the most time we've spent together in a long time.

Aiden had to stop at the shop to pick up some things for his mam. I decided to wait outside while he got what he needed. I wonder if he and Sarah spoke about the current situation and maybe she has come to terms with the idea that Aiden can't avoid me forever. I remember when they first started dating, Aiden was so excited because he had me crushing on her for months and I finally convinced him to ask her out.

Sarah and I actually got along quite well in the beginning. I wouldn't say we were besties but we were able to hold a conversation without anyone else around. I knew it was important to Aiden that we became friends so I definitely tried and so did she.

It was when I started fighting more and more with Jack, that things went south. I won't lie, Aiden did give me a lot of his attention at that time to make sure I was ok so I can only how that made her feel.

I remember all of the times I would tell Aiden that I was fine so that he would go see her but he insisted on staying until he believed me. I've always been a terrible liar so he never bought it straight away.

I even invited Sarah out for a girls day to apologise for taking up so much of Aiden's time. It was actually a pretty fun day and I thought we had really connected, I was obviously wrong.

Somewhere along the line the friendship that Aiden and I had bothered her and although I'm sure she has her reasons, I can't help but still be annoyed at her about how far she has taken it.

I can see that Aiden loves her which is why I've stepped back. I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I feel a hand on my shoulder. Pulling myself back into reality I notice the heavy bags in Aiden's hands and offer to hold one but he rejects my offer.

Just as we're about to leave he glances across the road and freezes in place. I look at what has him so terrified and notice two girls crossing the road towards us. Aiden's first instinct is to move further away from me and face the wall of the shop, pulling out his phone and pretending that he's using it.

The two girls walk right past us and into the shop. Aiden lifts his head up slowly to see if they're still nearby bug instead is met with the very angry yet confused expression on my face.

"What the fuck was that all about?" I ask.

Still cautious he moves towards me slowly, peaking into the shop window looking for them.

"Those are Sarah's friends and I didn't want them to see me."

Everything clicks after he says that.

"You mean you don't want them to see us because you're afraid they'll go back and tell Sarah. That's fine Aiden since you don't want any help with those bags I think I'll just walk the rest of the way home by myself." I say turning my back to him and walking down the street.

I hear him move quickly behind me and he eventually catches up to me.

"Please Jules I'm sorry. Sarah and I are finally on good terms again and I know they would go tell her I was with you." He explains, sounding breathless.

"Aiden we already had a stage where we had to hide that we were friends. I don't want to do that again because that's not how friendship works. Also, please, by all means, tell me if I'm overstepping I really don't think that lying to your girlfriend in order to remain on good terms is the best idea."

"Julia please just mind your own damn business for once. My relationship does not concern you." He's getting frustrated, this is what I wanted to avoid.

"Aiden your relationship concerns me because it affects our friendship. I have to respect Sarah's choice to not like me even if I don't agree with it. Why can't you do the same? If you want her to be happy then why are you doing the one thing that you know would upset her?"

He keeps going on about wanting to keep Sarah happy yet he's going out of his way to see the one person she would hate to see him with.

"Because Jules I can't live a life without my best friend in it. I have been around you almost every day since we were like five. I know that Sarah doesn't like you and it absolutely kills me because I love her so much and she is so important to me and so are you. I don't want to hurt her and I definitely don't want to hurt you. You think that people are you are destined to leave you, I don't want to be one of those people. I will never be that person."

Every time I see Aiden it seems as if we need to have some massive sentimental moment in order to prove we still care about each other. I can't continue a friendship that's full of explanations, I'm tired of it.

"Look Aiden that means a lot to me but I can't let you lie to Sarah. You shouldn't have to. I'll still see you in school but I think it's best I stick to what I said and step back. I'm happy that I got to see you today but I think it's best if I should walk home alone."

I walk towards him and pull him into a hug. It wasn't a goodbye hug because like I had said, I would see him in school. Sarah didn't go to our school which means it would probably be the only place we will be allowed to be around each other with the risk of upsetting someone.

It shouldn't be this way, I'm well aware of that but I really don't want any complications this year and it seems like this is going to be a big one.

"I suppose you can walk with Shane then." He mutters under his breath.

I pull away I form a tight smile. "Don't worry about Shane, my relationship doesn't concern you. Oh and just some friendly advice, please start doing what's right for you because I don't think lying to your girlfriend is.

I cross my arms over my chest to keep the heat in as I walk the rest of the way home alone. It's was nice to know that Aiden still cared about me and that he hated not having me around just as much I hated not having him around. Things are different now and we're growing up. We're gonna have to make a lot of choices for people we care about.

I glance down at my phone a notice at least thirty notifications from the girls group chat. They want to have a girls night tonight which means sleepover, this should be interesting, to say the least. I tell them I'm in and mentally prepare myself for the rest of the evening.

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Thank you for reading the fifth chapter of "All I Knew was you" I hope you enjoyed and continue to read. Please feel free to vote, comment and share if you did enjoy as it would be a major help and mean a lot to me.
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Thank you all for reading, you will hear from me in the next chapter.