Chapter 29

A small smile played on my lips as I drove to work on Tuesday. I spent most of my time yesterday thinking about what had happened after I called Harry on Sunday night, trying to memorize every detail. I could remember the expression on his face when he finally let his emotions show. It was as if I could see the mask he had been hiding behind drop right in front of my eyes, and it was absolutely amazing, but I was still aware that it could be a one-time thing.

Because Harry wasn't easy to read these days. I never knew beforehand how he would act, especially not after we had taken a step forward. Last time we had talked about our relationship, nothing had changed afterward, and things could easily turn out that way now too. But I did have a better feeling this time. He had sent me a genuine smile before driving away, and it felt like he had finally got out what had been bugging him for so long.

My thoughts went to the way he had let his vulnerability show as he revealed how scared he was of feeling the way he did when I left him again. It was the reason he had been avoiding me. He thought it was best to stay away to prevent it from happening again.

The pain this fact brought me couldn't be put into words. Knowing he was avoiding me because he was scared of getting hurt made me want to punch myself. I didn't want him to think I would put him through anything like that again, whether we were together or not. I just didn't want him to be afraid of spending time with me.

It was hard to process that this was what had been bugging him all this time. We had gone a whole week of him doing everything to avoid me while I had been wondering why things didn't change after we talked about our breakup. I was sure it would have been a lot easier if he had mentioned it, but of course, that would have meant he failed his mission of staying away from me.

Once I had parked my car in the parking lot outside the arena, I got out of the vehicle and walked over to the entrance. We were working with our acts today, but we were meeting up with the team in the lounge room first. So, after greeting the fans who were gathered outside the doors, I headed to the room, running a hand through my feathery hair.

It surprised me that everyone was already there, even Harry and Nick. Sure, Harry usually didn't arrive late these days, but Nick still did sometimes, but apparently not today since I was on time. The two of them were sitting on the couch opposite Patrick and Perrie, talking excitedly to each other.

The second my eyes landed on the curly-haired man, I could see that something was different about him. It was his eyes. They were twinkling in a way I hadn't seen them do in years, the lights in the room making them shine brightly. He seemed happy, a smile even gracing his perfectly shaped lips.

I sat down next to Perrie on the couch, not being able to take my eyes off him. It wasn't until I could hear Patrick and Perrie greet me that Harry's eyes met mine, and my heart skipped a beat in my chest. I felt like a schoolboy, making eye contact with their secret crush. It was almost embarrassing, but at least I managed to keep a somewhat neutral look on my face as I looked at him, my lips curling.

He flashed me a small, hesitant smile in return, making my breath hitch in my throat. I wondered how a man could make me feel this way with only a simple smile.

"So, I was just telling Perrie, Nick and Harry that you've got free hands to do whatever you want with your acts this week, apart from the songs, that is. There's a new list on the table over there," Patrick informed me, breaking my and Harry's eye contact as I turned to look at him.

"Okay, sounds great," I replied, nodding in acknowledgment.

He clapped his hands together. "Alright then, let's get to work, guys!"

Harry and Nick quickly got up from their seats, Nick throwing me a glare before walking away with Harry. I was about to follow them when I could feel a hand wrap around my bicep, holding me down in my seat. I turned to see Perrie looking at me with raised eyebrows.

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

I bit my bottom lip, looking over at Harry and Nick, who were grabbing a piece of paper before looking back at her. "Not really...?" I said slowly, making her roll her eyes.

"I saw the way you and Harry were looking at each other. Something clearly happened between you two. I haven't seen that look on either of your faces since the beginning of this journey," she pointed out.

Swallowing, I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess we kind of talked about things. I went out on Sunday night, and he came to pick me up," I explained a little hesitantly, not sure if I should tell her this when the said person was in the same room.

She raised her eyebrows at me. "Wait, he picked you up?"

I nodded, looking down at my hands on my lap. "Yeah, he insisted."

"Huh," she let out, seeming a bit shocked. "That's... Wow. What happened then?"

"I was drunk," I said, shaking my head as my lips twitched. "But I kinda sobered up on our way to my place. He told me why he's been avoiding me, and I think that's why things are finally getting better. I know what's been bugging him now."

She seemed impressed, a small smile making its way to her lips. "That's amazing, Louis. I hope things will continue this way. It's nice to see you both looking so happy again," she told me, nudging me in the side.

My lips twitched as I looked back up at her. "You think I'm the reason he seems happier?"

She shook her head, the smile remaining on her lips. "I don't think so. I'm sure you are," she said, getting up from her seat. "Come on, let's go see what songs we're getting to choose from this week."

We grabbed a piece of paper each before following Harry and Nick to the stage, keeping a distance from them. It made it easy for me to notice that Harry's whole aura seemed brighter. He was walking more upright, and he was laughing more than usual. It made my chest spread with warmth, knowing I could be one of the reasons behind it.

It turned out that our acts were already on stage, talking to the choreographers and singing instructors when we got there. We all gathered our groups to talk about the list of the songs, and I quickly suggested we do the same thing as last week, that they chose three songs they would like to perform, and I chose three songs I reckoned would fit them.

As they scurried off to talk to each other alone, I sat down in one of the seats in the audience, looking down at the piece of paper in my hands. There were at least thirty songs written down on it, so it shouldn't be difficult to find three songs that would fit each group this time either. My eyes raked the paper as I heard voices talking in the background, but there were so many of them that they all just became a blur.

It wasn't until I had picked three songs for each group I noticed that the voices had died down, and when I looked up, I realized that there were barely any people left in the arena. A few crew members were walking around, but other than that, it was just me and Harry.

My eyes focused on him, the way he was sitting on the edge of the stage, dangling his legs back and forth while reading the paper in his hands in concentration, a crease between his eyebrows. He looked beautiful, and even more so due to the fact that he was wearing a black hoodie and a pair of black joggers. I wanted to cuddle him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and hug him close, be able to smell his sweet scent and run my hands through his soft curls. It had been so long since I had done that, too long. I could barely remember how it felt.

Inhaling a large breath, I got up from my seat, deciding to be bold. I wasn't going to do anything stupid, but I wouldn't let an opportunity like this slip either, not when things were finally heading in the right direction.

I approached him slowly, making so little noise that he almost jumped when he saw me appearing through the corner of his eye. He looked up at me, his mouth falling open slightly.

"Hey," I greeted, pushing myself up on the stage so that I was sitting beside him, leaving a fair distance between us.

"Hi," he replied, looking back at the paper in his hands.

"How's it going? Are the boys doing what you're telling them?" I questioned, trying to make conversation and hoping he would be okay with it.

He shrugged his shoulders, not taking his eyes off the white paper. "It's going alright, I guess. They're all very motivated," he explained.

I let out a hum, looking at the seats in the audience. "I'm sure Frankie is going to get far. He's got something special."

Harry turned to me then, his eyes filling with slight curiosity. "Right. I remember you saying that you see yourself in him at his audition."

I nodded, my lips curling. "Yeah. I was the same age as him when I auditioned and just as nervous. His performance just made a lot of memories come back, and I've adored him ever since."

He bit his bottom lip, looking back down. "I see where you're coming from," he replied. "He is quite likable."

"He sure is," I smiled.

We were quiet for the next couple of seconds. I wasn't sure if he was reading what the paper in his hands said or if he was just pretending to do so. Either way, I broke the silence after a while as a thought crossed my mind. "So, um... I kinda listened to some of your songs a few days ago," I confessed tentatively, seeing how he tensed through the corner of my eye.

When he didn't say anything, I took it as my cue to continue. "They're really beautiful, and they made me think a lot," I mumbled, hoping that it would bring a reaction out of him.

He snapped his head to me, and when I turned to meet his gaze, his green ones were searching for something in mine. It took a while, but he eventually opened his mouth to talk. "I uh... I never expected you to listen to them," he mumbled. "And I'm not as good of a songwriter as you are."

I shook my head, pulling my brows together. "That's not true. You're an amazing songwriter. You have the ability to bring so much emotion into your lyrics, which you should be very proud of. Also, I have always liked your songs. You know that, so it was just a matter of time until I would listen to them."

Furrowing his eyebrows, he played with the rings on his fingers, his gaze falling on them. I had a feeling he knew what song in particular I was referring to because when I heard it for the first time, I had cried and told him how wonderful it was, the way he had completely worn his heart on his sleeve when writing it.

"'If I Could Fly' was only a favorite of yours because it was written about you," he pointed out in a mutter.

"No," I denied, my heart fluttering at the same time as it felt heavy in my chest because it hurt that he would think that. "I mean, sure, it was a bonus, but it wasn't the reason I loved it so much to begin with. It's the way it was written, with so much love and affection. It's truly beautiful, just like the songs I listened to a few days ago. Don't put yourself down, Harry."

A faint smile broke out on his face, his green eyes looking up to meet mine. "Thank you."

"Of course," I replied, my lips twitching.

He placed the piece of paper on the floor next to him, his eyes still locked with mine. "So, your family. How are they these days?" He asked, taking me by surprise. I wasn't expecting him to ask any questions.

"They're doing good," I replied. "Fizzy, Daisy and Phoebe live at my grandparents' house in Doncaster while Lottie has moved here to London, so I try to see her as much as possible," I explained, tucking my hands under my thighs.

He nodded, his brows furrowing. "I'm glad to hear that after everything you've all been through."

I knew he was referring to my mum passing away, which made me look down at my lap, a forced smile making its way to my lips. "Yeah, we've tried to handle it as best as we can, but it's tough at times. We always make sure to talk about it whenever it's weighing us down, though. Otherwise, I'm sure we would still be quite miserable now," I explained. "But you have your own experience of that. You must have gone through a tough time as well."

He pursed his lips, and when I glanced at him, I could see that he was trying not to get emotional. He knew I was referring to Robin. He didn't say anything, though, which I appreciated because talking about these two important people in our lives hurt a lot. There were plenty of things I wanted to discuss with Harry, but preferably not this since it still hurt thinking about my mum, knowing I would never get to see her again.

I was about to open my mouth and tell him this when voices were heard from behind us. When I looked over my shoulder, I noticed that the contestants were returning to the stage, both the groups and the boys.

Letting out a sigh, I pushed myself up in a standing position. "We should probably go back to work."

Harry nodded, getting up to his feet as well. We walked over to the contestants together before gathering our groups to talk to them individually. It turned out they had all chosen three songs each, and just like last time, our thoughts were similar. So it didn't take long until every group only had one piece to focus on for the rest of the week.

They left shortly after that to continue working together. Their new goal was to decide who they thought should sing what part and learn the lyrics thoroughly, and I would help them rearrange things afterward if there was something I didn't agree with.

Once everyone had left, I walked to the edge of the stage where Harry and I had been sitting earlier. I settled down, but instead of staying in a sitting position, I laid down on the hard floor, staring up at the ceiling. It was strangely relaxing. It felt like home somehow, and maybe that was because I had so many memories from this place.

The sound of someone approaching me broke my train of thought, but I didn't turn to look who it was because I already had a feeling of it. "I miss performing on stage," I commented once they had settled down, keeping my gaze on the ceiling.

A hum escaped the person beside me, and I could hear them lying down on the floor as well. "I probably would too if I were you," Harry replied.

I turned my head then, my eyes focusing on his relaxed features as he kept his gaze on the ceiling. "I can't believe you've been touring after we went on hiatus," I said incredulously. "I've barely written a song since then."

He let out a light chuckle, but it didn't sound genuine enough to convince me it was real. "Doesn't sound too bad," he mumbled so quietly that I barely heard him.

Instead of putting too much thought into his words, I turned my head to glance behind me before looking back at him. "Can you believe this was the stage where we had our last performance as a band?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, turning to meet my gaze. "It's also where we had our first," he added, making my heart clench in my chest. I didn't know talking about this would hurt, but it felt like there was no turning back now.

"And where we were formed in the band," I breathed, getting emotional as the memories started playing on my retina. The happiness, the joy, the excitement we had felt at the time. It all felt so real.

"Where you jumped into my arms without even hesitating." He looked me in the eyes, his green irises filled with a combination of sadness and something unknown.

I let out a breathy laugh. "Those were the days."

"Yeah," he agreed, a faint smile forming on his lips. "They were."

We looked back up at the ceiling then, our breathing the only thing that could be heard in the arena. My mind started replaying every memory we had brought up, and I couldn't help but let my lips curl sadly. If I could go back in time and relive those days, I wouldn't hesitate. The way it had felt as if nothing could stop us, as if we were invincible somehow. It was an incredible feeling, not knowing just how far we would go but that we were on our way to becoming something big, something historical.

The sound of heels clicking against the floor made both me and Harry sit up and turn our heads to the source. Dark hair and brown eyes came into view, causing my heart to sink in my chest.

"Hey," Leah greeted, taking a seat next to Harry, her lips twitching.

"Hi," he replied in a murmur while I just nodded my head in acknowledgment.

She tilted her head to the side, her smile growing wider. "So, I was thinking we could go to the cinema and watch a movie tomorrow, and then maybe catch some dinner at a restaurant afterward. How does that sound?"

I could see Harry swallowing as if he didn't know what to say. Meanwhile, I furrowed my eyebrows at her words, feeling my head shriek at me to say something about it. "Um..." I said when I could see him opening his mouth. "Harry doesn't really like going on public dates, but he's got too big of a heart to admit that. He would much rather it be just you and him, either if you go on a road trip or stay at home to cook dinner or something."

Harry froze in his seat, his features impossible to read as he kept his gaze on Leah, who seemed surprised. Her mouth formed the shape of an 'o', her eyes meeting Harry's. "I didn't know that..."

He remained silent as Leah looked back at me, her eyes narrowing slightly. "How come you do, though?" She asked, and sure, if it weren't for the fact that our management made everyone believe we had been enemies for the last six years of our lives, it wouldn't be weird that I knew, but now it was.

Harry turned to me, his green eyes begging me not to say anything. I hated that it was still a secret to almost everyone that we had been dating, that no one was aware that I, if anyone, would know what kind of dates Harry preferred. But at the same time, I knew that I would never do anything he didn't want me to, so if he didn't want me to mention anything, I wasn't going to.

Shrugging my shoulders, I flicked my gaze to Leah, forcing a smile on my lips. "We were in the same band for five years, and we lived together for two of them, so it'd be weird if I didn't know what kind of dates he prefers, wouldn't it?" I said, feeling a lump form in my throat.

I hated this situation so much that I wanted to run towards the exit and get the hell out of here. Things were finally working between me and Harry again. He was finally talking to me after more than four months of being so cold, but then she entered his life, and now she was slowly taking him away again.

Looking up towards the ceiling, I could feel tears brimming my eyes. I couldn't explain just how much it hurt knowing the one I wanted to be with so badly was dating someone else. It made all those feelings I had felt Saturday evening and the entire Sunday return, and I really, really wanted to get out of here.

I was about to stand up and do so when Harry opened his mouth to talk. "Louis'... right. I don't really like going on public dates. I should have probably mentioned that," he grimaced, running a hand through his curls.

She shrugged her shoulders, a small smile forming on her lips. "It's okay, at least I know now. Maybe we can just take a walk somewhere secluded or something then? And have some dinner afterward?"

Harry nodded, his lips twitching slightly, but he still seemed off. "Sounds great."

Leah left shortly after that, and I found myself staring at my lap, my shoulders sagged. Tears were still brimming my eyes as I pursed my lips. "There's nothing I can do to stop you, is there?"

Glancing at the side of his face, I could see him tense for a few seconds until his body relaxed. "Louis," he sighed, to which I shook my head, smiling forcefully.

"It's okay. I know I shouldn't care."

Even if I wanted to stay and continue talking to him, I couldn't force myself to sit there any longer, so I got up and started walking towards the exit, my heart clenching in my chest. As if that wasn't enough, I met Nick when I was just about to walk out, his eyes boring into mine in a way that made me shudder.

It wasn't hard to tell that he was trying to threaten me, the way his brown eyes met mine so coldly. He had probably seen me and Harry talking earlier, but I didn't couldn't care less about him right now. I had other stuff to think about, even if I would rather not do so.

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I'm pretty sure I've rewritten some paragraphs in this chapter at least ten times until I was happy with them. I hope you liked the chapter despite Leah. H and L are at least getting closer. Also, the next chapter is an interesting one x

I'm going to start working at my new job on Monday, and I still have one more weekend to work at my old job, so I won't have a free day in two weeks. Therefore, it might take a while until the next update, so don't be surprised if that happens.

Btw, thank you all for congratulating me on my graduation! I love you, guys. And thank you for reading <3

Edited by: butterflies151

Pauline .xx