As many of you know if ya read the recent chappy of Mending Hearts Spinel has been diagnosed to be knocked up and poisoned-
And if ya didn't know that then.....
Oops😏

I suggest you go read the latest Mh chappy then if you're new here

Anyway this is basically if Cobbledick was a babysitter- or a kitty-sitter in her case- and if Spinel and the baby lived. This is not canon to MH
......
Spinel: Ok remember that if she starts crying just give her the blue pacifier, don't give her the pink one since for some reason she hates it-

Cobbledick: 'Bruh, just get your ass to that high school. I got dis.'

Spinel: But-

Steven; Come on Spinel, she has it.

Cobbledick: 'Yeah go get educated with your dumb ass. You need all the knowledge you can get.'

Spinel: Cobbledick-

Steven: Spinel come ON!

*door slams!!!*

Cobbledick: *looks at kid* 'Sup.'

*the baby just stares at her with a bottle in her mouth*

Cobbledick: 'For the love of...if my human slave keeps raisng you like this you're gonna a momma's girl when you get older. You just need some good influence.' *slaps bottle out of her hands, making her cry instantly*

Cobbledick: 'Here.' gives her bottle of root beer 'I'd give you real beer but you're a beginner. Root beer gets you prepared for the real world. Okey, let's start babysitting-'
................
8:45 am
Baby (I'd tell ya'll the real name but whats the fun in that? XD) ....

Cobbledick: 'So...ya like Minecraft?'

Baby: ....

Cobbledick: 'If you're a fortnite kid I swear my human slave's raising you wrong.'

Baby: *picks up rattle* ....

Cobbledick: *gets on Minecraft* 'Aight listen up you rattle-shaking son of a bitch-'
..............
9:10 am

Cobbledick: 'Okey! Today I'm gonna teach you how to walk. Now...walk.'

Baby: *stays still*

Cobbledick: 'Walk.'

Baby: *stays still but tilts head* ....?

Cobbledick: 'Walk. Right now. WALK!'

Baby:?

Cobbledick: 'Fine if ya don't wanna walk, then I'll teach you how to crawl. Just crawl.'

Baby: ...

Cobbledick: 'crawl.'

Baby: *blinks*

Cobbledick: 'I'm so proud of you.'
...........
10:32 am
Cobbledick: *on the phone with Steven and chasing the baby* 'Cat Stee! The baby is running away and I hid my catnip in her little car!'

Cobbledick sees the catnip under the couch as the baby is in the toy car while it went outside and now heading towards the middle of the road

Cobbledick: *grabs catnip* 'Never mind! False alarm! Catnip is safe, I repeat, the catnip is safe!'
............
11:00 am
*Cobbledick is beside the baby while Barney is on TV*

Cobbledick: 'I hate you, you hate me~
We're not a happy family
With a great big KICK and a punch from me to you
I~ Hate~ you~'

Baby: &*dumbfounded*

Cobbledick: 'Those are the real lyrics, kid. Barney: the lost episode.'

Baby: ...hm?

Cobbledick: 'Sorry to ruin your nonexistant childhood. Someone had to tell it. And just so you know, Barney isn't a real dinosaur. He's just an old man in a costume.'

Baby:...uh..

Cobbledick: 'See? Everything you've ever loved is a lie.'
........
12:19 pm
Cobbledick: 'I'M COOKING RICE AND SHRIMP FOR DIN-DIN! EVACUATE THE DAMN KITCHEN!!!'

Baby: *sucking her pacifier while sitting in the doorway*

Cobbledick: 'When Chef Cobbledick says evacuate the kitchen that means...'

Baby:...

Cobbledick: 'eVaCuAtE tHe KiTcHeN!'
........
1:55 pm
Baby: is I a miss take?

Cobbledick: No, but Your mom told me you're a regret.
.......
2:07 pm
Cobbledick: 'Oh come on! Make me wanna be a babysitter! SHow em whose boss!!!'

Volley's baby rolls a ball towards Spinel's kid, and it hit's her foot gently

Cobbledick: 'Come on throw the ball at her face!!'

Baby: *sucks on pacifier and bounces ball back to Volley's baby*

Cobbledick: 'You should've hit her eye, so maybe she could look like her mom.'
.........
3:10 pm
Baby: *tapping stuff on Cobble's tablet*

Cobbledick: 'Gimme back my tablet before you see some shit.'

Baby: *drops it on the floor*

Cobbledick: 'That's it. You just lost paper towel and soap priviliges, mother fucker!'
.........
3:45 pm
Spinel: Cobbledick, we're back! How was babysitting?

Cobbledick: *high af from all that catnip* 'We just ate some Doreedos and some other stuff.

Steven: *picks up Be- I mean the baby 😏* Why does she smell like shrimp and rice?

Cobbledick: 'She liked my din-din of course. Now if you'll excuse me...' gets up 'I have some vandalizing to do.'

Baby: Mommy?

Spinel: Hm?

Baby: Is I a miz-take?

Spinel: *smiles* No dollface, you're not a mistake. You're a regret.

Baby: Mkay. Dust shekin.
...........
Cobbledick is best babysitter
Change my mind

#Cobbledick
#QueenCobble
#CobbledickTheBabysitter