Chapter 24 - Home

— Tris

I always find myself staring at the flight of stairs that lead to the second floor of the apartment.

I don't stare at them in longing, as if I yearn to see what is upstairs for I cannot climb the stairs. I find myself staring at them like one stares at an enemy.

Images of crawling up those cement stairs only to be knocked down them once reaching the top flood my mind.

I still vividly feel my limbs smacking the hard surfaces as I tumble.

"Hey," Caleb breaks my thoughts. "You ready to go?" He rests his hand on my shoulder, making me jolt lightly.

"Yeah, just let me get my other crutch," I slowly hobble on one and a half legs and a single crutch over to the kitchen table.

"I could help you upstairs, if you were ever interested in checking out what's up there," he offers.

"No thanks, that's alright. I'm perfectly happy on a single floor."

"I get it," he replies, and it's all he needs to say.

He knows what I've been through.

The walk to physical therapy gets easier and easier. I make my way around much faster with my balance growing stronger.

"How are you doing today, Tris?" Molly asks, helping me up on the table.

"Alright."

She goes through a range of motion exercises with her holding my foot and me resisting her hand to stretch the muscles in my calf.

"Let me see you stand on your right leg," she puts her hands out, offering me help off the table. I take both her hands knowing that my balance is alright, but not great enough to jump down from a table on my own.

I stand next to a red mat on the floor, no objects around me, and stand on my right leg without my crutches. I feel myself shaking lightly, but not enough to knock me over like it would have a month ago.

"Slowly put down your left leg. Keep your right leg sturdy though. Only add the amount of weight you can bare to your left."

I panic.
The feeling starts in my chest as my heart races.

"You're alright, I'm right here."

I feel like I'm moving in slow motion.

But I do it.

I've never been more proud of myself.

+ + +

"Sometimes determination is the biggest attribute to healing."

I'm doing laps around the physical therapy facility, walking, with two feet and two crutches, and not falling over or crying out in pain.

"It's crazy to think that a month ago, you were just barely standing on one and a half legs. Now you're practically mobile!" Molly seems as excited as I am.

Maybe she doubted me as much as I doubted me...

It's been a long almost four months. It's December now, and the cold bothers the nerve damage in my leg.

However, the pain isn't stopping me now.

I want to go home.

"Every other week." Molly says, taking me back to a chair to sit.

"What?" I ask in awe.

"You're doing good!"

"I still need the crutches though."

"And you will, for a while at least. Your most recent ultrasound shows healing still happening, but now it's healing correctly and getting stronger from you becoming mobile. Keep doing what you're doing, and come back to see me every other week."

"You mean, like, not three times a week?"

"Go home, Tris."

"You mean, home?"

"You know what I mean," she smiles.

"Here, I'll walk you out to your brother," she smiles, opening the door.

I can't imagine how dumb this smile looks on my face.
I have to not insult my brother.
Act sad, Beatrice. You've loved living with your brother, right?
Ha.

"I'm kicking her out of your place," Molly spoils the news.

He's quiet for a second, processing what Molly's statement might mean.

Then, he understands.

"Really?" Caleb now also has a dumb smile. "That's great! Oh," he makes a face. "Well, I mean it's great you're well to go home, not that you're leaving but like, well, you know."

I laugh. "I know what you mean, stop fumbling over your words."

"See you in two weeks, Tris." Molly smiles, then walks away.

Caleb and I start heading back to his apartment.

"If you're really anxious, I could drive you back to Dauntless later tonight. If not, I have to work tomorrow, but Cara or Four might be able to work something out, I mean, unless you actually do want to stay, or—"

"Caleb, I love you," I stop and turn to him. "And I've appreciated all that you and Cara have done for me these past four months, but I'm ready to go home."

"I would be too," he chuckles as we continue walking.

"I'll see what I get packed up. I don't even know where half of my stuff is."

"I can help, if you'd like."

"I'll let you know if I need any." I smile, entering his apartment.

Cara immediately wraps me in an embrace.

"Caleb texted me," she whispers in my ear. "I love you," she chuckles. "But go home."

"I just have to find my stuff."

"I found your bags you brought, and they're on your bed. All that's left is filling them."

I start by collecting my things in the bathroom. I take a bag from the bedroom with me and fill it with my soap and shampoo and other things. I add some laundry on top of it where there is extra room, then leave it in the hall.

I take the suitcase and add my shoes and the rest of my clothing to it, along with a few pictures Bea drew me.

I leave the suitcase zipped on the bed. I don't dare try to move it with one hand and two unbalanced legs to support me.

Currently exhausted and overwhelmed by how today has taken a turn, I sit on the couch and put up my leg.

The cold air already hurts it enough. I don't want it to start swelling as well.

"Where Auntie T go?" My niece looks at me and points to my bag in the hallway.

"She's going home, sweetie."

The little girl starts giggling. "She is home!"

"She doesn't actually live here, Bea. This was just for a little while."

"Why you leave, Auntie T?" She comes over to me, putting her hands on the couch.

"I miss my friends at home, and I don't have to go to the doctors all the time now." I tell her, smiling lightly.

"When will you be back?" Her eyes turn sad.

Hopefully never.

"I can come and visit whenever you want."

"Hey, Beatrice?" Caleb calls.

Both my niece and I turn our heads.

"Tris." He laughs, my niece turns her head back to playing with the fabric on the couch.

"You ready to leave in a few? Four is going to meet us."

"Yeah, sure. My suitcase is on the bed. I couldn't move it myself."

Cara has an odd look on her face while looking at her phone. "Hey," she looks up. "Why don't we all go? I'll get this bag and Bea if you get the suitcase, honey?"

"Alright, if you want." Caleb seems confused, but doesn't ask.

I sit in the backseat next to Bea in her car seat. I feel as if I'm bubbling over in anticipation.

The crowd I was grateful not to receive when returning from the hospital is now present. Caleb parks the car and all of my friends are outside the compound.

I worry about getting trampled, just like in the memory. I shut down the thought.

You're home.

On accident, I leave one crutch in the car. My mind automatically panics because if I needed to escape, I cannot move quickly on a single crutch.

I'm about to turn back to the car when my eyes catch Tobias. Before I blink, his lips are on mine.

I'm happy.

So many hugs in a small period of time. People have to fight Christina to let go of me. Amar wins the battle, taking me in his arms. Uriah then slaps his arm, gaining himself a turn.

God, I've missed this place.

Shauna wraps me in an embrace, smiling widely.

"Turn around." Is all she says, letting me go.

Now I face the love of my life.

"I always knew I needed you." He says in a clear tone, his voice wavering slightly. He speaks loud enough for only him and I along with people close to us to hear.  "You saved me from myself during your initiation, you came back to me when I thought you were gone, and I forgot how hard it is for me to be away from you. Barely seeing you these past few months opened my eyes yet again, because I cannot tolerate having you in my arms and then loosing you for a period of time again."

He sinks to one knee, and my heart stops.

"Beatrice Prior, will you marry me?"