Chapter 23

Why was this even so hard to do? It wasn't as if tatanggalan ko siya ng mana. I would literally just tell him that there wouldn't be any second date anymore. That although I did enjoy the first date, it was mostly because of the surprise na decent human being naman pala siya. And if I were being honest, it must also be because Pablo was somewhat a part of our date. I did wonder na kung kaming dalawa lang ba talaga ni Paul, would I still call the date a success? I didn't think so.

"Have you decided on what you'll wear?" Pablo asked when I answered his call. We didn't get that breakfast that we talked about because I got so busy with work. I told him that and he said that it's fine—work is work. I knew it's bare minimum, I really did I appreciate that. I love my job. I'm proud of my job. Siguro kung sinuman ang makakatuluyan ko, if hindi niya ako maiintindihan whenever I'd have to cancel some dates dahil sa trabaho ko, somewhere along the road, it wouldn't work out. Maybe because ganon din ang gagawin ko for him or her? That I'd be supportive of his job so that's why I'm expecting that I'll get?

I'd never demand something that I couldn't offer—after all, a relationship is partnership more than anything... well, at least for me.

"Yes," sabi ko.

"What's the back situation?"

Napairap ako kahit wala naman siya sa harapan ko. "You'll see."

"Okay," he replied but even then, I could already imagine the little smirk on his face. "Are you free later?"

"No."

"Okay."

Natigilan ako. Should I tell him that I'd meet up with Paul to tell him na walang second date? Had this been before, I wouldn't even bother, but Paul was a nice person. I thought he deserved an in-person rejection. And it wasn't really a rejection—more like a re-direction because obviously, hindi ako iyong tamang tao para sa kanya.

Yeah, I should tell him.

Knowing Pablo? It's better na alam niya na iyon ang dahilan. Ayoko lang ng re-run nung dati kay Leo. Pinakaayoko talaga na cause ng away ay miscommunication. It could've been easily avoided if magusap lang.

"I'll be meeting with Paul."

"Oh."

"Do you wanna know why?"

"Not really," sabi niya.

"Really?"

"What you do with him is none of my business," sabi niya sa kalmadong tono pero ramdam ko nagiba na iyong mood niya kumpara sa paguusap namin kanina.

"Oh, okay," sagot ko sa kanya. "Just don't want any surprises."

"Why will I be surprised? I know that you're seeing both of us."

"Not really."

"Not really?"

"Haven't really seen him since the date you ruined," sabi ko.

"Again, the date wasn't ruined. Not my fault he bores you."

"He doesn't bore me."

"Sure. Tell yourself that."

Napairap ako. It's so unfair that arrogance suits him so well.

"But why haven't you seen him since that last time?"

"I don't know."

"You weren't too busy to see me."

"I know."

There was silence for a few seconds.

No words were spoken, yet weirdly enough, I felt like he already heard the words that I wanted to say.

"Good luck on your dinner," he said. "Do it in a public place."

Napairap ako. Kahit kailan talaga napaka-arogante.

"Whatever."

"I can pick you up after or wait outside while you're dumping him."

"You're mean."

He shrugged. "It is what it is," he replied. "You can't be for everyone.'

"So, para kanino ako?"

He gave out a crisp laugh. "Oh, Cerise."

"What?"

"Nothing," he replied. "Do text me when you're done with that."

"Alright."

"Just wanna know you're fine."

"I'm gonna be fine."

"You don't know," he replied. "Some guys don't handle rejection very well."

"Really."

"Really."

"How do you handle rejection?"

"I remove myself from the situation."

"Oh, that's why you ghosted me."

Kahit wala siya sa harap ko ay ramdam na ramdam ko talaga ang pagirap niya. "Again, I didn't ghost you," sabi niya sa akin. "I was giving you time but I never really left."

"Huh..." sagot ko. "Recollections may vary then."

"Sure."

Natawa ako. "Am I pissing you off?"

"A bit," sabi niya. "But I know what I was getting myself into."

Fuck.

Bakit kahit sinabi niya na naiirita na siya sa akin, nakahanap pa rin ako ng paraan para kiligin doon?

"Just tell me when you're done talking with him?" sabi niya sa akin.

"Okay."

"I can pick you up."

"I plan to bring my car," sabi ko.

"It's fine. We can drive in separate cars then grab some dinner."

"Gusto mo talaga akong makita mamaya?"

"Obviously," diretsong sagot niya.

I bit the inside of my cheeks. "Fine. I'll just book a ride there."

"Or I can just drive you there?"

"No," sabi ko. Parang ang asshole naman if si Pablo ang maghahatid sa akin para puntahan si Paul na irereject ko.

"Alright," he replied, not pushing it any further. "I'll just pick you up in... an hour?"

"I'll text you."

"Got it."

* * *

Pagdating ko sa bar kung saan kami magkikita ni Paul, umorder lang ako ng isang cocktail. And then I kept it short and simple. I figured that there's no easy way to tell this. I used to think before na mahirap mag-confess, but I realized later on na mahirap din mag-reject. It's just awkward. So awkward. Kung hindi lang talaga bastos for me na i-text na lang 'to, I'd rather tell this via message. Kaya rin siguro maraming lalaki na nangghost na lang... Ang awkward kasi magsabi ng 'I don't think this will work. Good bye.' Pero mas mahirap din naman magisip kung matagal lang ba maligo iyong kausap mo o talagang iniwan ka na.

Ang hirap all over.

"Just one question," sabi niya nang magpaalam ako na aalis na ako. Nagmessage na rin si Pablo na nasa labas na siya.

"What?" tanong ko kay Paul.

"You sound sure with him. Is he certain with you?" Napakunot ang noo ko. "Just heard that that one doesn't really do commitments," sabi ni Paul.

Gusto kong tanungin kung saan niya narinig 'yan. Also, just disappointing to hear it from him. Pero ayoko na rin na makipagtalo about this. Kung hindi man ako bibigyan ni Pablo ng commitment, that's my problem and not really his. I was just really done with people trying to insert their unsolicited opinion in my life.

"Thanks for the concern, but I think I'll be fine," sabi ko sa kanya bago ako tumayo at naglakad palabas ng bar.

'To your left,' biglang message ni Pablo sa akin.

Nang makita ko iyong sasakyan niya ay naglakad ako papunta roon. I got in the passenger seat and saw that he was watching my every move.

"What?" I asked habang sinusuot ko iyong seatbelt.

Umiling siya. "Nothing," he said. "Can we have dinner now?"

I shrugged. "Sure. What are you in the mood for?"

"You," he replied.

I shrugged again. "I'm good with anything," sabi ko. I wasn't craving for anything in particular. Besides, tinatamad akong magisip kung saan kami kakain.

"What?" I asked him when I saw the amused expression on his face.

"Nothing," sabi niya na naman habang umiiling siya.

"Come on. What is it?"

"Nothing," he replied. "What about steak?"

"Okay," sabi ko sa kanya. "Know any good steak place?"

* * *

We went to this resto and ordered what's probably the best steak I had in my life—and that's saying something because I had some nice steak before!

Pablo and his taste, really.

"What?" he asked nang makita niya akong nakatingin sa kanya. He was signing the receipt. Nang dumating iyong bill, he didn't even look at the amount and just placed his card doon sa lalagyan. That was so sexy for no reason at all.

"Nothing," sabi ko sa kanya. "Are we really firm on the no touching until we have a label?"

Nakita ko na napatingin sa akin iyong waitress. Fuck. I forgot may tao nga pala sa paligid namin! I just get easily lost in his presence whenever he's around. He's just so intoxicating. And he also has this way to make you feel like you're the only one who matters. A talent, really.

"Why?"

"Don't make me say it."

"Say what?"

"Don't be an asshole."

Natawa siya. "I'm being a gentleman, if any."

"Be a rude jerk," he replied. "I mean, even if just for tonight."

Hindi siya sumagot. Nakatingin lang siya sa akin—like he was weighing his next step. If he'd fuck me senseless tonight or if he'd continue this 'respectful although I would argue it's ridiculous' rule.'

"Let's go," he said habang inaabot niya sa waitress iyong receipt.

"What?" I asked. I couldn't read kung ano ang nasa isip niya. Did he think that I was being too aggressive? Did he agree with my idea? Ano ba ang nasa isip niya?

Instead of answering, he just stood up. Instinctively, I followed his lead at saka tumayo na rin ako. He slowed down para sabay kaming maglakad.

"Are you... offended?" I asked habang naglalakad kami.

"No," he replied.

"Okay."

I hated his short replies although minsan lang naman niya ginagawa iyon. For some reason, it makes me overthink kahit ayoko talaga na nagooverthink.

"Thank you," I said when he opened the door for me. Pablo's a gentleman pero hindi iyong tipo na lagi niya akong pinagbubuksan ng pinto ng sasakyan. Minsan lang. Kapag marami akong dala. I really appreciated that. I didn't want to be treated like a princess. I kinda like doing things on my own, although sometimes, of course I wanted to be treated like a princess.

Hindi ako nagsalita nang magsimula siyang mag-drive. I already asked him if offended siya. He already said no. That's the end of that topic. I didn't want to ask again kasi kahit ako kapag tinanong, if I answered, that's it already.

"Your place or mine?" he asked.

Agad akong napatingin sa kanya. "What?"

"My place is nearer, but I don't mind driving to your place."

Napaawang ang labi ko. "Does this mean... we're having sex tonight?" I asked.

"Do you have to be anywhere tomorrow?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Well, I have work."

"I know," he replied. "But do you need to go to another location aside from your office?"

Umiling ako. "No, not really. I will just be approving some proposals."

He nodded. His hands were firmly on the steering wheel. Medyo hindi ko naintindihan kung bakit kailangan niyang itanong sa akin iyon. Hindi ba ako papasok bukas? Pero kailangan kong pumasok. And gusto kong pumasok. I enjoy my job—that's probably one of the few things I like about my life. I knew a lot of people don't enjoy their jobs, but I actually happen to like mine.

"Good," he said.

"Why?"

"Because I plan to fuck you tonight," he said while his eyes were on the road. Agad na napaawang ang labi ko. Holy fuck that was hot? The way he said it? Like he's certain?

And when we reached the red light, he stopped his car and then threw me a glance.

"You may or may not have discomfort with walking the next day," sabi niya. Fucking hell—the way he said those words. "Not really sure. It's up to you if you can still walk after everything I plan on doing."

I crossed my legs.

Malayo pa ba kami sa condo niya?!

"What... do you plan to do with me?"

Instead of answering, he just reached for my face and tucked a portion of my hair behind my ear.

"I think the better question is what do I not plan to do with you," he said while he was staring intently into my eyes. I was barely breathing. Fuck. He's so hot and for fucking what.

"Just... drive faster. Please," I almost pleaded and he just made me hotter when I heard that crisp laugh of his. 

**
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