Chapter 22

'Would it be weird if I'll ask for your secretary's contact?'

'Yes. Why?'

'Just wanna check when you're free.'

'Why?'

'Well, your dream date requires air travel. I need to find at least three free days. And you're a busy person.'

I bit my lower lip as I tried to control my breathing. Hinga ka lang nang mabuti, Cerise. Just enjoy the effort that Pablo's exerting. Who knows kung gaano katagal iyong ganito, right? Besides, isn't this the fun part in dating? Iyong simula? And then you get comfortable with each other.

'You don't have to do that lol'

'I don't have to but kinda want to.'

'Just kinda?'

'I really want to.'

'But seriously can't. The release of the anniv issue is near. Will attend a party and everything.'

'Is this your way of asking me to be your date? Because the answer is yes.'

Once again, I bit my lower lip. The way this guy converses must be studied! He's so smooth and for what! Nakakaloka siya talaga! Alam mo iyong tipo na kailangan ko mag-step back minsan and i-remind ang sarili ko na hindi ko siya jowa and as much as naglalandian kami, hanggang walang commitment between us, I refuse to let myself get totally invested in this.

Just enjoy the ride.

'Are you inviting yourself to the party?'

'No. I'm your plus one.'

'Who decided?'

'You.'

God, the confidence is so sexy.

'Yeah sure I guess.'

'Tell me if you've decided on what you'll wear.'

'You'll match again?'

'Only if you want me to.'

Oh, fuck.

So hot and for what.

Hindi na ako nag-reply dahil may feeling ako na papunta na sa kung saan iyong usapan namin and I was in my office and it was the middle of the work day! Only Pablo could make me feel so hot talking about matching our outfits! Nakakaloka siya talaga!

The whole day was busy but I had to leave ng hapon dahil pupunta pa ako ng Bataan to meet up with Papa. Nag-dinner kami. We didn't talk about family. Nagusap lang kami about random things—mga kalokohan niya nung kabataan niya.

"Kayo pa rin ba nung Pablo?" he asked while I was driving back para ihatid siya.

"Hmm," I replied. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I lied to him—I didn't care that I lied to everyone else. Besides, with how things were going, mukhang magiging totoo rin naman iyong sa amin ni Pablo. So, technically, my lie will be fix itself.

"Mukhang aalagaan ka."

"I can take care of myself."

"Oo naman, pero masaya pa rin kapag may nagaalaga, 'di ba?"

I had half a mind to ask him kung paano niya nasabi 'yon kasi parang based on observation, hindi naman siya inaalagaan ni Mama. Parang si Papa pa nga ang nagaalaga kay Mama, e.

Gusto ko ring tanungin sana kung may galit ba sa akin si Mama? Kasi ibang-iba iyong trato niya sa aming dalawa ni Therese... But today had been such a good day. I didn't want to ruin it by mentioning those two. Mas naging tahimik talaga ang buhay ko when I cut them off.

"Basta, ako okay ako, Papa," sabi ko na lang sa kanya.

"Mabuti naman."

"Saan next mo gustong pumunta?"

"Kapag may nakita ulit ako sa Facebook e sasabihin ko sa 'yo," he replied that made me smile. Usapan kasi namin ay every two weeks ay uuwi ako rito sa Bataan para sunduin siya tapos pupunta kami sa kung saan man ang restaurant na gusto niyang kainan. I really liked this routine.

Hinatid ko si Papa about three streets away from our house. Ayoko na malapit sa bahay pero ayoko rin naman na masyadong malayo na mahihirapan siyang maglakad pauwi. Knowing Papa, 'di 'yan gagastos para magbayad ng tricycle. Napakakuripot pero nung kasal ni Therese e kita mong ginastusan. Naha-highblood na naman ako sa kapatid kong 'yon.

"Ingat ka, Pa. Message mo ko kapag nasa bahay ka na."

"Magiingat ka sa pag-drive."

Nag-stay muna ako doon habang hinihintay na mag-message si Papa na nakauwi na siya. I was just resting my head against the seat of my car nang mapansin ko na naglalakad si Leo. He's heading sa direction ng bahay namin. So, doon pa rin naka-stay si Therese? Gosh. Kakakasal pa lang nila tapos ganito na? These two... Nakakaloka.

I thought I would be approaching Leo to talk to him, but as I was watching him? Wala. I had no urge to go out to talk to him. Wala.

I was just... done.

With him.

With them.

With everything related to this place—well, of course except for Papa.

So, I just stayed there and watched as his figure disappeared from a distance. Tapos nung nag-message si Papa na nasa bahay na siya, I just silently drove back to Manila.

Just like that, I realized that that chapter of my life was really finished... Now, if sa tingin ng mga tao sa paligid ko ay hindi pa, then really, it's not my issue anymore.

Basta ako, tapos na sa kanila.

Basta ako, masaya na sa buhay ko.

* * *

Pagbalik ko sa Manila, sakto na nagmessage si Pablo asking kung free ba ako. I told him na kakabalik ko lang galing Manila. He asked if nag-dinner na ba ako. I said yes but that gutom pa ako since medyo napagod ako sa drive.

So, we're in his office.

Yes, in his office because as much as he wanted to take me out for a dinner, he said that he has a business to run. And that just sounded so sexy in my ears. Like, a responsible guy? Sign me the fuck up.

"Have you decided on what to wear?" he asked.

"Down to two options."

He gently nodded his head. "Backless?" he asked.

I arched my brow. "Why? You want me to wear a backless dress?" tanong ko sa kanya. We were eating Chinese food and I was holding the chopsticks close to my mouth as stared at him.

Everything about him, about us was just hot for me.

God, this was so bad.

He shrugged. "Up to you."

"But if it were up to you?"

He shrugged again. "I mean, yeah. That way, I can touch you as I put my hand on the small of your back."

I felt my cheek heating up. Nakatingin siya sa akin. I saw him grinning. He knew the effect he had on me and he's just making the most out of it. This asshole.

"I mean, that's just me," he casually said.

"Yeah, no backless. If any, the dress I'll be wearing will have a full back," sabi ko kahit parang wala ng sense iyong sinasabi ko.

He was looking at me like he was fascinated. "Sure," he replied. "You'll look fantastic either way."

Oh, god.

This man must really be studied.

Hindi ako nakapagsalita after that and just focused on eating my food. But he was watching me like as though everything I do was fascinating. Hindi ako makakain nang maayos dahil ramdam na ramdam ko iyong pagsunod ng mga mata niya sa bawat galaw ko.

"Stop," I said.

"Stop what?"

"Stop staring."

"I wasn't staring."

"You were."

"I was—am—admiring."

Fuck.

Fuck him.

"Shut up."

He grinned. "Are you blushing?"

"No," I replied. "I think your AC is not working."

Natawa lang siya sa akin. Bwisit na 'to. Alam naman na effective sa akin iyong mga ganyan na paandar niya tapos kailangan pa akong tanungin as if hindi pa niya alam. Kairita talaga. Gusto ata akong patayin sa kahihiyan.

"Really?"

"Really."

"I'll have it fixed, then."

Then there was an awkward silence again—or baka awkward lang sa part ko dahil mukhang normal lang naman siya na kumakain. He looked like he was enjoying my discomfort very much, though. This asshole.

"Don't worry," sabi niya.

"Worry about what?"

"You look like you want to just sprint away," he replied. "I won't touch you."

"Why not?" mabilis na sagot ko. Fuck. Ni hindi ko man lang naisip na mag-filter! As in bigla lang siyang lumabas sa bibig ko. Kitang-kita ko iyong pagpipigil niya na matawa sa akin. Bwisit na 'yan! Kahit ano talaga ang gawin ko, hindi ko kayang pagtakpan iyong katotohanan na gusto ko talaga siya—and iyong katawan niya.

"I mean..." I said, trying to take back whatever dignity na pwede ko pang kunin. "Just asking since we're adults and all."

Fuck.

That was so lame.

Nakatingin lang si Pablo sa akin. At this point ay gusto ko na lang saksakin ng chopsticks iyong mga mata niya para hindi na siya tumingin nang ganyan.

So hot and for fucking what?

"I mean, we can, but I'd rather wait."

"For what?"

"When we're—what do people call it these days?" he asked. "I think they say 'with label.'"

Napatingin ako sa kanya. I mean, I knew naman na doon kami papunta but it was just so weird to hear it from him. And ewan... siguro at the back of my mind, this was still kind of weird for me—everything about this was weird, yet weirdly enough as well, it felt nice.

"Is that weird?" he asked, looking at me like he genuinely wanted to know my thoughts.

"No, not at all."

"Okay, great."

"So, are you courting me?"

"Do you want me to?" he asked.

"Bakit ako ang tinatanong mo?"

He shrugged. "I just don't believe in the idea of courting. When you court someone, you put your best foot forward. I'd rather we just date. I won't pretend to be this 'best' person. I'll just be myself around you and hope that you like me for me," seryosong paliwanag niya habang nakatingin sa akin. "Does that even make sense?"

"You know what, weirdly enough, it does."

"Really?"

Tumango ako. "Yeah... You make sense, Pablo Narvaez," sabi ko kaya natawa siya sa akin.

"I think I always make sense—it's just your pride that hinders you from recognizing my wisdom."

Umirap ako sa kanya. "Oh, there's the familiar arrogance."

"You enjoy my arrogance."

"Will neither affirm nor deny."

"Yet somehow, you just affirmed it."

I wrinkled my nose.

Bakit kahit ganito na banter lang, wala naman kaming ginagawa talaga and nasa office niya lang kami at kumakain, sobrang nag-eenjoy na ako?

"Nothing," I said nang tumingin siya sa akin na nakakunot ang noo. I wanted to ask him things—most especially kung bakit malaki ang issue niya sa pagiging rebound. This was such a good night and I wanted to leave it at that. Maybe some other time.

"You're leaving?" he asked when I stood up.

I nodded. "You said it yourself—you have a business to run."

"I have employees," sabi niya.

"Be a responsible employer," I replied as I grabbed my bag.

Nakatingin lang siya sa akin na parang batang inagawan ng candy. Parang tanga. Medyo naninibago ako na ganito siya. I was used to seeing him as someone... cool? Or more in control with their emotion?

Apparently not.

He's slowly taking off the veil and showing more of his other side.

"I'll see you soon," I said.

"When is this soon?"

"I don't know. Baka bukas."

"Can we be more specific?"

Natawa ako. "Miss mo na ako?"

"Yeah," diretsong sagot niya.

I bit the insides of my mouth to stop myself from smiling. "Shut up. I'll see you maybe tomorrow? Breakfast?" sabi ko at saka mabilis na umalis dahil baka hindi talaga ako makapagpigil at hindi ko mahintay 'yang label requirement na bigla siyang nagkaron. 

**
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