Chapter 13

Leo left quite abruptly na medyo napaawang ang labi ko at napakunot ang noo ko. That was weird. Bakit kailangan niyang umalis agad? I would've introduced him to Pablo naman—or maybe hindi na dapat kasi malay ko ba kung ano ang mangyayari pagkatapos ng araw na 'to? Would we still see each other? Probably not. As far as I was concerned, we run in different social circles. And hindi pa naman ako desperate enough para puntahan siya sa bar niya. Iyong ginawa ko dati, that was out of sheer desperation only because I needed something from him.

And after today? Ano pa iyong reason ko?

That I wanted to see him?

"Hey," sabi ko nung lapitan ko siya dahil mukhang wala siyang balak na lumapit sa pwesto ko. "Did something happen inside?" I asked kasi lumabas siya.

Tipid siyang umiling. "No," he replied. "You were just gone for too long. I thought something happened."

"Oh," sabi ko. "I just went to the CR then nakita ko si Leo dito sa labas."

Hindi naman ako manhid na tao, but at the same time, ayokong maging assuming. Before, alam ko naman na nilalandi ako ni Pablo, but maybe that was only because I was doing it first, so he was just matching my energy. But right at this moment? That crease on his forehead was throwing me off. Because he looked a bit pissed. But why? Dahil lang kausap ko si Leo? It wasn't like we were doing anything—we were literally talking.

He gave me a small nod again.

I gave him a forced laugh.

"What? Jealous?" I dared ask kasi iyon talaga ang itsura niya ngayon. He looked like a jealous boyfriend na nakita ako na kausap iyong ex ko.

"Should I be?" he replied, and his reply was even more intense dahil sinabi niya iyong mga salita na iyon habang nakatingin sa mga mata ko. He didn't even miss a beat and replied quite quickly right after I asked my dare I say ridiculously forward question.

"No," I said as I tilted my chin up. Oo, gwapo siya, pero bakit ako magpapatalo?

"Okay."

"We were literally just talking."

"I didn't say anything."

"But the way your brows furrowed tells another story," I shot back.

Nakatingin pa rin kami sa isa't-isa. No one wanted to back down, so it seemed. Halos hindi ako makahinga nang maayos habang nakatingin ako sa mga mata niya. I forced myself na 'wag babaan ang tingin because I really would lose in this staring competition kapag napatingin ako sa mga labi niya.

"Really," sabi niya. "Do tell—what am I feeling right now, Cerise?"

God, I hated it when he says my name like that! Like he's seducing me kahit literal na binanggit niya lang naman iyong pangalan ko.

I stared directly at his eyes. "Like you're jealous."

I felt how the beats of my heart gradually began to increase its pace. But I didn't break the gaze—talo iyong unang magiiwas ng tingin. He's probably better at this than me, but that didn't mean that I won't put up a fight.

I like him, fine, but he likes me, too, kahit konti siguro. Because if not, why on earth would he agree to my ridiculous request? It's much easier to say no. It's not like I could physically drag him with me here.

"Well, I am supposed to be your boyfriend," he said.

"I know."

"And I saw you talking to your ex."

"Correction—not my ex."

"I stand corrected," he replied as he was still staring at me like he was trying to melt me. "Your biggest what if," he continued.

"That sounds worse."

"It is," sabi niya. "Because there is always that thought that what if it worked out?"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Let's settle with ex."

He gave me small nod. "Okay."

"Okay," I replied. I hated how stubborn I sounded when I said that. "Still, I was just talking to him."

He nodded. "Okay."

"You sound jealous right now, do you know that?" diretso kong sabi sa kanya kasi siya iyong nagsabi ng no games, e. E 'di diretso ko nang sabihin sa kanya.

"Well, I am your boyfriend for the day," sabi niya.

"I know—I was the one who invited you, remember?"

Tumingin siya sa akin nang ilang segundo bago siya nagkibit-balikat. And as he was doing that, something changed. Like he was done with this topic and didn't want to discuss it further.

"Okay," he said like he really was done with it.

"Okay? That's it?"

Tumango siya. "Do you want anything else from me?"

"Hindi ko alam," sabi ko sa kanya. "I just had the impression that you were pissed."

"I wasn't," sabi niya sa akin.

"Yeah, right," I snorted because he was obviously lying. All this talk about honesty and no games tapos hindi niya masabi sa akin kung ano talaga ang nasa isip niya.

"We should go back," sabi niya.

"Sure," I replied.

We walked side by side, but I was not fan of the atmosphere between us. Patingin-tingin ako sa gawi niya, pero diretso lang siya na naglalakad.

"I just congratulated him," sabi ko.

"Okay."

Natawa ako. "Are you seriously pissed na kausap ko siya?"

I thought that like usual, hindi niya lang ako papansin kasi based sa pagkakakilala ko sa kanya, so far, he does not escalate things. Na bago pa mag escalate, nag-deescalate na siya. Like a pacifist, ganon, but at the same time, minsan halata pa rin kapag naiinis na siya.

"Yes because I did everything you asked of me, Cerise. I would've appreciated if the favor was returned."

My lips parted. "I talked to the guy—not made out with him."

"Don't twist my words," he calmly said.

"Are we seriously fighting over this?" naiirita na tanong ko sa kanya. Nakita ko na sasagot pa sana siya, pero hindi niya na itinuloy dahil may ilang nakatingin na sa amin. Great, iyong barkada pa ni Therese of all people! For sure makakarating agad ito sa kapatid ko. Then sa pamilya ko. Ano na naman kaya ang version na ipapakalat nila?

"Let's just finish today," sabi niya na kalmado na ulit iyong mukha. Wow... he's a great actor. It's scary how he could just flip the switch like that.

Maybe I was just really assuming.

Mukhang magaling siyang magpanggap talaga.

I felt his hand on the small of my back as he took the lead sa paglalakad namin pabalik sa venue nung reception. Bumalik kami sa may table. Pablo was back to his 'usual' self. He was even talking sa ibang mga kasama namin sa table. He was smiling and he was, as usual, very good at small talks. Parang hindi nangyari iyong kanina.

He was a great actor.

It's... scary.

Gusto ko sana na nakaupo lang ako roon, but suddenly, I was very aware na tinitignan ako nung group ni Cerise. Iba talaga kapag chismis—ang bilis ng dissemination. Ni wala pang 20 minutes 'yun, ah!

I grabbed a drink doon sa waiter na dumaan sa gilid ko. I was about to take a sip of the wine nang makita ko na nakatingin sa akin si Pablo.

"Just one glass," I told him. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ako nagpapaalam.

"I'm not gonna stop you from drinking," he said which made me feel ridiculous for some reason.

"Right... Sorry," I said as I took a sip. I wanted to down the glass, but I didn't want to give Therese's group the idea na magkaaway kami ni Pablo ngayon. I hated giving them the satisfaction of even thinking that my life was any less than perfect. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bwisit na bwisit ako sa group na 'yan.

Napatingin ako kay Pablo nung humingi siya ng tubig sa waiter. Nang dumating iyon, akala ko ay para sa kanya, but he slid it in front of me.

"You don't want to be drunk in front of your relatives," he said.

"Thank you," I replied because I did appreciate him looking out for me.

Tumango lang siya. "When do you want to leave?" he asked.

I shrugged. "In a few minutes?" I asked. "Or do you want to leave now?"

"Whenever you wanna leave," sabi niya.

"Is there any place you need to be tonight?" I asked kasi syempre magda-drive pa pabalik sa Manila.

"Today's reserved for you," he replied.

Fuck it.

Don't put colors in it.

I should really start practicing taking whatever he says literally. Na literal na naka-reserve naman talaga sa akin iyong araw ngayon kasi date ko siya sa kasal ng kapatid ko.

I gave him a small smile. "Yeah... Thank you for this again."

"You're welcome," he said. "Are they looking at us or is it just my imagination?"

Napatingin ako sa mga friends ni Therese na shamelessly tumitingin sa amin. I did wonder kung ano ang nasa imagination nung mga 'yon.

"They are," sabi ko.

"Because of earlier?"

"Probably."

Nagulat ako nang diretsong tumingin si Pablo sa gawi nila. Nagulat din ata iyong mga kaibigan ni Therese kasi biglang nagpanggap sila na naguusap. Tignan mo 'tong mga tangang 'to.

Napatingin ako kay Pablo nang hawakan niya iyong kamay ko na tahimik na nakapatong sa lamesa. He was tracing patterns on the top of my hand.

"They probably think that we're fighting," sabi niya.

"I know."

"Because of your ex."

"Yeah..." sabi ko. "Sucks. Hanggang mamatay ata ako ay iisipin nila na may hangups ako kay Leo."

Hindi siya nagsalita pero hawak niya pa rin ang kamay ko.

"More so once they learn about our breakup."

"You can tell them that you dumped me and I'm begging for you to take me back."

Natawa ako. "I don't think anyone will buy that."

"It's a very believable story," he said.

I laughed again. "Thanks?"

"Why don't you think they'll believe you."

"Have you seen yourself in the mirror?" I asked.

"I have," sagot niya. "Have you seen yourself?"

I felt my cheeks heating up sa sinabi niya.

"You can tell them that I proposed and then you rejected my proposal because you're not ready to settle down."

"They'll think I have lost my mind," I replied.

"Why so?" tanong niya. God, it felt so good that while we're talking, he was just tracing random patterns on the top of my hand. Iyong isang kamay niya rin ay nakapatong sa may hita ko.

"Because, once again, you're you."

"Yeah... I don't really understand. What's with me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Fake humility doesn't suit you."

He gave a crisp laugh. "It's not fake humility, love," sabi niya. I forced myself not to overthink sa tinawag niya sa akin. Pero... we're literally talking—just the two of us. There's no need for him to call me that. But fuck it, stop overthinking and overanalyzing things, Cerise.

"Whatever," I said, trying to mask how I was thrown off sa pagtawag niya sa akin nun. "I'll think of a cover story."

"Just don't tell them that I died because it's gonna be awkward if they accidentally see me."

Natawa ako. "I'm not gonna kill you in my cover story."

"That's good," sabi niya. "I like the rejected proposal, though."

"Is it really believable that you proposed to me?"

"Why not?"

I shrugged. "Ewan."

"As far as they're concerned, we're in a committed relationship," sabi niya. "It's not surprising that if I propose."

"But it's surprising if I reject the proposal."

"Why? Because I'm me?" he asked and I shrugged. "Love," sabi niya as he squeezed my thigh. "I think you're putting me on a pedestal already."

My lips parted. "Wow."

Tumawa siya. "I do have flaws," he said. "I just don't advertise them because why would I? But best be sure that I am nowhere near perfect. I mean, I do try to be a decent individual, but I still fuck up sometimes."

We were probably in our bubble because someone had to tap my shoulder. Pinapapunta kami sa may stage para sa may picture kasama iyong dalawa.

"We should probably head back to Manila after this," sabi ko kay Pablo habang naglalakad kami pabalik.

He nodded. "Can we eat first?"

"Hindi ka ba nakakain?" I asked.

"Not when people are staring at me, no," sabi niya.

Natawa ako. Obvious naman kasi na siya iyong pinakabida ngayong araw. Sa mga Tita ko pa lang ay parang ice cream na nalulusaw si Pablo sa mga tingin nila.

"Okay," sabi ko. "Before we head back to the hotel or after checkout?"

"After checkout," he replied.

Pagdating namin sa stage, I just congratulated them once again. I mean, not the biggest fan, but may manners pa rin naman ako. Nakatayo si Pablo sa tabi ni Leo. Nasa tabi ako ni Therese.

"Okay ka lang, Ate?" she asked.

"Bakit naman hindi?"

"Sabi nila narinig kayo na nagtatalo ni Kuya, e..."

"San mo naman narinig 'yan? Sa mga chismosa mong kaibigan?" diretsong sabi ko sa kanya habang nakangiti ako para sa camera.

"Concerned lang naman sila, Ate."

"Hindi ko kailangan ng concern nila," I said as I was still smiling for the camera. "And for the record, hindi kami nagaaway. Kung makikinig man sila sa usapan ng ibang tao, might as well tapusin nila hanggang dulo para hindi mali-mali pinapakalat nila."

Mukhang napalakas ata iyong boses ko dahil nakita ko na napatingin sa akin si Leo.

"Cerise," he said like he was admonishing me na ganito ko kausapin iyong bride niya.

"What?"

"Iyong tono mo naman..."

"Ano'ng meron sa tono ko?" I shot back. Leo had always been calm—iyon ang isa sa nagustuhan ko sa kanya. Alam ko na hindi niya ako papatulan.

"Wala," he said na umiiling. Tumingin siya kay Therese na nangingilid ang luha. Leo cupped his face and wiped the tears that were threatening to fall. Great! Ang iisipin naman ng mga tao ay pinaiyak ko siya sa mismong kasal niya.

I pursed my lips. I fucking hated how she could always play the victim and I was the unwilling villain. Kahit nung sa kanila ni Leo noon, parang kasalanan ko pa na sikreto sila kasi apparently, hindi pwede na in public dahil malalaman ko at masasaktan ako.

Hanggang ngayon, ako pa rin ang masama.

"Ang gwapo pa naman ng boyfriend pero mukhang 'di pa moved on..." narinig kong sabi.

Fuck.

Napatingin ako kay Pablo.

"Pablo—"

He gave me a small smile but kahit bulag ata makikita na peke iyon. "Let's just go home," he said as he held my hand and gently dragged me away with him while everyone watched us leave. 

**
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