Chapter 10

Paglabas ko pa lang ng sasakyan ay si Pablo na agad ang unang hinanap ng mga mata ko. I just didn't want to leave him by himself. Alam ko na matanda na siya and that he could handle himself, but still, I was the one who invited him here. To an extent, I felt responsible for him. Besides, na-try ko na na pumunta sa events na ako lang magisa at walang kasama. Granted na kaya ko naman ang sarili ko, still, company would've been nice.

Patingin-tingin ako sa paligid nung instead na si Pablo ang makita ko ay nakita ko si Stephen, iyong pinsan slash best friend ni Leo.

"Cerise," pagtawag niya sa akin.

I gave him an awkward smile. "Hi," sabi ko sa kanya.

Okay naman kami ni Stephen. Hindi siya asshole. Hindi rin siya mabait. Actually, hindi ko alam kung paano siya i-describe. It's just that when the thing with Leo and Therese happened, he was one of the people 'in the know.' So when I went to Manila, isa siya sa mga tao na iniwasan ko. Ang dami kong iniwasan na tao kasi ang dami rin nila na nagtago sa akin sa mga nangyari between Leo and Therese.

Looking back, I felt so alone... like everyone hated me enough para pagkaisahan nila ako. Kasi sino ba ang gagawa nung ganon, 'di ba? I was hurt real bad that I went to Manila despite not knowing anyone there. But it's fine. It's all in the past. Okay na okay na ako ngayon.

"Akala ko hindi ka pupunta."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Why not? Kapatid ko 'yung bride."

His lips parted a bit na para bang nabigla siya sa paraan ng pagsagot ko. Kung sabagay... It had been ages since we last talked. Ni hindi ako umaattend ng mga reunion dahil ganoon iyong level na ayoko silang makita. Iyong version ng Cerise sa utak niya ay ibang-iba na sa kaharap niya ngayon.

"If you'll excuse me," sabi ko nung makita ko iyong sasakyan ni Pablo na magpapark pa lang. I knew I could've done more damage and told him na pupuntahan ko iyong boyfriend ko, but I felt like that would've been too much...

Besides, makikita din naman nila kami. And chismosa iyong mga Tita ko. I'd trust na hindi pa rin sila nagbabago at alam na ng lahat ng tao sa simbahan na may kasama akong lalaki.

Nang malapit na ako sa sasakyan ni Pablo ay sakto naman na bumukas iyong pintuan at lumabas siya.

God... I wanted his confidence.

The way he walks? It's like he owns the place. Could this guy be ever be intimdated? Nakaka-curious lang what it will take to intimidate a guy like him.

"Got caught in traffic," sabi niya.

"It's fine," I replied. "Kakadating ko lang."

"Oh, great."

"Why?" I asked kasi parang relieved siya.

"I want to be standing right beside you when you see your ex."

Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Oh."

Bahagya namang kumunot ang noo niya. "I mean, that was the point, right? For you bringing me here?" he asked, looking at me like he was a bit confused sa reaksyon ko.

I quickly gathered myself. Masyado na akong natuwa sa presensya niya. Iyon nga pala talaga iyong dahilan kung bakit siya nandito. I mean, bakit ba nagulat pa ako e sobrang clear naman right from the beginning na iyon ang dahilan kung bakit sobrang kapal ng mukha ko when I approached him? I really didn't waste any time when I asked him to be my date for the wedding.

"Of course," I said with a smile. "But for the record, he's not my ex."

He shrugged. "Would you prefer that I call him the guy who broke your heart?"

I frowned at him. "Or just call him by his name?"

He shook his head. "No, thanks."

Natawa ako dahil ang petty ng pagkakasabi niya. Sabay kaming naglakad papunta sa loob. He wasn't holding my hands or anything. And that would feel a bit weird, to be honest. But the fact that he was walking right beside me? That felt so nice already. Na hindi ako magisa na naglalakad dito. That even if some eyes were obviously on us, it's fine dahil hindi naman ako magisa at may kasama ako.

Nang papasok na kami sa simbahan, napatingin ako sa kanya when he offered to link my arm with his. Napatingin ako pabalik sa mukha niya. He cocked his head to the side.

"We're putting on a show, so might as well really commit to it, right?" he said while staring right into my eyes.

I forced a smile as I linked my arm with his. "Right..." sabi ko at huminga ako nang malalim bago naglakad papasok sa simbahan.

Hindi naman ako iyong ikakasal, pero nasa akin iyong tingin ng mga tao. Bakit naman kasi alam nung lahat iyong kwento sa pagitan naming tatlo nila Leo. Ano kaya ang nasa isip nila? Naisip kaya nila na sisigaw ako ng 'Itigil ang kasal?' I mean... to be completely fucking honest, never kong naisip na gawin iyon. At most, ang naisip ko ay maglasing lang.

"That's him, right?"

"Sino?"

"The guy."

"You mean Leo."

"Yeah."

"You can say his name," sabi ko kay Pablo.

"I know," sabi niya. "But that's him, right?"

Tumingin ako sa tinitignan niya. "Yup. Why are you asking?"

He shrugged. "Curiosity," he said. "Is this the first time you're seeing him again?"

"No," sagot ko sa kanya. "I see him sometimes on family dinners."

Naramdaman ko na napatingin sa akin si Pablo. I faked a laugh because it felt so uncomfortable na nakatingin siya sa akin na para bang nakakaawa ako. I mean, kung palit din naman kami ng posisyon, maaawa rin naman ako sa sarili ko. Parang tanga lang kasi, 'di ba? Kahit gustuhin mo na magmove on na sa part na 'yon ng buhay mo, hindi mo magawa kasi parang may constant reminder talaga, e.

"What—" sabi ko nang bigla siyang huminto sa paglalakad at humarap sa akin.

"He's looking," he said while fixing the stray hair on my face. Hindi ko narinig kung anuman iyong sinasabi niya dahil naka-focus lang ako sa kung gaano siya kalapit sa akin at sa pakiramdam ng paglapat ng kamay niya sa mukha ko.

God, why did he have to smell so good? Magmumukha akong aso nito dahil gusto ko na lang siyang amuyin, e.

"Does he know that you have a boyfriend?" Pablo asked nang naglalakad na ulit kami papunta sa pwesto namin.

"No, not really," I said. "We don't really talk."

"At all?"

"Yes."

Instead of answering, he just nodded. Nang makarating kami sa pwesto namin, pinauna niya akong pumasok doon sa may row. I sat down and then he followed me. I almost jumped on where I was sitting when he leaned in to whisper something in my ear.

"We're together for the day, right?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied, looking in front, and as I was doing that, wala akong choice kung hindi ang mapatingin kay Leo na nakatingin sa akin habang nakadikit halos sa tenga ko iyong bibig ni Pablo.

"I can do whatever a boyfriend does?"

"Yes," I said while my eyes were locked with Leo.

"Got it," sagot ni Pablo tapos ay naramdaman ko iyong kamay niya na nakapatong sa hita ko. Agad akong napatingin sa kanya. He was already looking at me, so when I looked at him, our eyes met. He gave me a small smile. "Just one thing," he said.

"What?" I asked while I was very conscious of the feel of his hand resting on my leg. Fuck. We already fucked, but why was this simple gesture making my heart go wild inside my chest?

"Eyes on me and only me today, Cerise. I don't share," he said and then I felt him squeezing my thigh.

My lips parted.

Oh, wow.

I was used to being the 'aggressive' one between us—ganito pala ang pakiramdam kapag siya.

He leaned in again. "And stop parting your lips unless you want me to kiss you in front of everyone you know," he said but all I could think about was how good he smelled.

Shit.

I was in deep shit.

* * *

Hindi ako nakapag-concentrate sa kasal ni Therese pero ang hindi ko talaga makakalimutan ay kung paano may mga tumingin sa akin nung sinabi ng pari na may tututol ba sa kasal. My god.

"Ms. Cerise," pagtawag sa akin nung assistant nung wedding coordinator.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Stay daw po kayo. May pictorial po," sabi niya sa akin.

I briefly closed my eyes. Hindi na natapos 'tong pagkuha ng litrato na 'to, ha! Dapat pala kanina pa lang ay umalis na kami ni Pablo para pumunta sa reception.

"You're coming with me," sabi ko kay Pablo dahil akala niya ata ay mauuna na siya sa reception kagaya nung kanina.

"I am," he said.

"I thought there'll be at least some resistance," sabi ko habang naglalakad kami papunta sa harap.

"I won't leave you alone around your ex," sabi niya. "I'd be pretty much useless if I let that happen."

I bit my lower lip because he just reminded me again na iyon talaga iyong dahilan kung bakit siya nandito. I hated that I felt a bit sad kasi kapag tapos na iyong kasal ni Therese at Leo, I'd have no reason to see him again. Ayoko namang magmukhang desperate if pupunta ako sa bar niya para uminom. Sobrang halata na nun.

Pagdating namin doon sa may altar, sabay na napatingin sa amin sina Therese at Leo. They actually look good together. I hope they're happy, too, kasi ano naman ang sense na maganda kayong tignan kung hindi naman kayo masaya? You're fooling no one but yourselves.

Pablo and I stood there and watched habang kinukuhanan sila ng litrato. Nung sinabi nung photographer na family ng bride na, lumapit ako doon.

"Congratulations," sabi ko kay Therese.

"Thank you, Ate," she replied with a smile. "Pupunta naman kayo sa reception, 'di ba?"

"Yes," I said.

"Uuwi din kayo pagkatapos?"

"Yes. I have work and Pablo has a business to run."

"Ano'ng business niya, Ate?" Therese asked.

"Basta," sabi ko sa kanya dahil ayoko lang mag-share kay Therese ng kahit na ano tungkol kay Pablo. Alam ko na hindi ko naman totoong boyfriend si Pablo, but this was how it started with Leo, too. Nagtatanong lang dati sa akin si Therese tungkol kay Leo. I thought gusto niya lang na makilala iyong crush ng Ate niya, pero iba na pala.

I'd be a fool if I let that happen again—kahit hindi ko naman talaga boyfriend si Pablo. I didn't want to give Therese the impression that she could just take anything of mine.

The photographer took a couple of shots.

"Leo," pagtawag ni Therese kay Leo. "Picture kaming tatlo, Kuya," sabi niya sa photographer.

Ramdam ko iyong pagtingin ng pamilya nila sa aming tatlo. Open secret naman iyong nangyari dati. Ano ba ang trip nitong babaeng 'to? Bakit kailangan ng picture naming tatlo? It's not as if close kaming tatlo.

And for some fucking reason, Leo was standing in between us.

Great.

Kulang na lang lagyan kami ng title dito at pwede na kaming teledrama sa gabi.

I was smiling for the photo when I said, "Congratulations," to Leo.

"Salamat," sagot niya.

Wala ng nagsalita pa sa aming dalawa pagkatapos nun. Wala naman akong sasabihin sa kanya. Saka paano naman siya magsasalita e literal na katabi niya iyong asawa niya?

"Kuya ba ang itatawag ko sa kanya?" Therese asked.

"What?"

"Kuya Pablo," she said instead, calling Pablo who looked her way. "Picture tayo."

Pablo looked at me for confirmation. Everyone was looking at us. I didn't want to make any scene kaya naman tumango na lang ako. Pablo walked towards us. Tumayo siya sa tabi ko. Great. Ngayon ay nasa gitna na ako ni Pablo at Leo. For sure ay laman 'to ng chismis.

Pero agad na naputol iyong pagiisip ko nang maramdaman ko iyong kamay ni Pablo na pumalibot sa bewang ko. Leo was standing close to me kaya alam ko na naramdaman niya rin iyon.

"Look at the camera, love," he said, loud enough for both Therese and Leo to hear, while his eyes were on the camera, smiling like everything's calm in the world. Wala pa sa reception, but I was starting to feel the chaos brewing already. 

**
This story is already at Chapter 16  on Patreon (patreon.com/beeyotch). Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories.

If you're having any problems with your payment or if you want to pay via GCASH, you can email [email protected] for assistance.