Chapter 04

"H-Hey," I said when I realized that Pablo had his arm wrapped around my waist. I was looking straight into his eyes. Fuck. He looked even prettier in daylights. Just when I thought this man couldn't get any hotter, he showed me how wrong I was.

His brows furrowed a little. I cleared my throat. Shit. Bakit ba ako nag-stammer sa harapan niya? I'd already seen everything there was to see in this man. Bakit pa ako mahihiya?

"Hey," paguulit ko. Ibinaling ko ang tingin ko kay Paul. "Pablo, this is Paul, the son of my employer," I said, choosing my words carefully para naman pumasok na sa isip ni Paul na iyon lang talaga ang tingin ko sa kanya. Totoo siguro talaga iyong kung sino iyong hindi mo makuha, iyon ang mas gugustuhin mo. Because I could seriously provide Paul with a list of names who would die to have a chance with him. Okay naman kasi siya minus the fact that he gives me the ick. I guess for other women, he's 'the' catch. He looks good and he's rich. A lot of woman would be ecstatic already. But me? Hindi ako kasama sa listahan na 'yon.

"Paul, this is Pablo," I said, at hindi ko na itinuloy dahil hindi ko rin naman alam kung paano siya iintroduce.

"The boyfriend," Pablo said as he offered his hand to Paul. They shook hands and I saw how firm Pablo's grip was. Actually, nakatingin lang talaga ako sa kamay ni Pablo. God, those veins! Did he have any idea what those veins do to women? Or at least to me?

Paul seemed to be a little taken aback sa pagpapakilala ni Pablo that he made an excuse para makaalis agad. I was relieved na wala na siya... but seriously though? It was infuriating na kahit anong pagpapaalis ang gawin ko sa kanya, hindi siya umaalis. All it took was a man's presence for him to fuck off. It was like my own words and actions were not enough—but one word from a man and he's off.

"You don't seem relieved," Pablo said nang mapansin niya iyong magkasalubong na kilay ko.

"Oh, I am," I replied. "You didn't have to, but thanks."

He shrugged. "No problem," sagot niya. "Been observing for a while. You looked real uncomfortable talking to him, so I thought I should intervene," he continued. "I hope I was right?"

Tumango ako. "Yeah," sagot ko. "Any more second with him would've given me aneurysm."

Bahagyang kumunot ang noo niya. "Why didn't you just tell him to go?"

"Not that easy."

Akala ko ay magtatanong pa siya, pero nagkibitbalikat lang siya. He was honest when he said he didn't like complication. Para siguro siyang may spidey-senses na kapag nararamdaman niya na pakumplikado na iyong topic, he'd immediately stop para hindi mapunta pa sa kung saanman.

"You do grocery shopping here, too?" tanong ko sa kanya.

He nodded. "Yeah. You, too, I presume?"

Tumango ako. For a second, we were awkwardly—o baka ako lang—staring at each other. 'Di ko naman matanong kung bakit hindi siya nag-reply sa huling message ko because that would just make things harder.

"I don't want to hold you up," I said after a few seconds of awkward silence between us. Hindi ko na siya hinintay pa na magsalita. I didn't want him to think that I was one to wait up para lang sa kung anuman ang sasabihin niya. He's hot, that's a given, but never would my life be put on pause because of a hot guy.

Again and again, I would remind myself that no guy is hot enough for me to put my life on hold. Just doesn't work that way for me. My survival instinct would kick me in the ass if I ever pull that shit again.

"Cerise."

Agad akong napahinto nang marinig ko ang pangalan ko. Slowly, I turned around to look at him. Would you look at that guy... just wearing a fitted white polo shirt, some pants he must've randomly put on, and sliders... but even so, he looked like he's ready to mess you up real good.

"Just read your text," sabi niya. "What shade of blue?"

I hated how that sounded so hot.

Normally, a blue is just a blue. But for me? For a creative directly like me? It sounded so hot coming from his mouth asking me what shade of blue I was talking about.

"I'll send you a color pallet," sagot ko sa kanya.

"Alright," sabi niya. "If you can send it now, that'll be good."

"Now?"

He nodded. "I don't know if I have that shade of blue. I'll go to the mall if I don't have."

My lips parted a little. "What? You don't have to."

He shrugged. "After everything you told me about your sister and your family? You deserve to introduce a boyfriend who color coordinates and everything."

You know that feeling when air was knocked off of your chest? That was literally how I felt when he told me what he just said. Because when I tell people the story, all they'd tell me was to move on. It's been long. Masaya na sila ng kapatid ko—they're even getting married, so clearly, Leo wasn't meant for me. Even Jana's first advice was for me to let it go.

For the first time, I felt... validated.

Like it was fine for me to be petty even just for a day. Because as petty as it may seem for other people, what they did really put a number on me. She's my sister and he's my best friend. It just wasn't that easy to get over with. Kasi kung madali lang, bakit ako mapupunta sa Maynila? Bakit ko iooverwork iyong sarili ko to the point na doon na lang yata umiikot ang buhay ko?

It hurt.

And to hear someone say that I deserve to have my day of 'revenge?' Damn if that didn't feel so fucking good.

"Thanks," I said, sincerely.

He gave me a half-smile. "Won't disturb your day anymore," sabi niya kahit na sa totoo lang, I'd rather talk to him in the middle of the grocery aisle. I usually get bored talking to guys. I only talk to them because of work. But this one? I felt like I could talk to him about whatever.

"I'll send the color pallet asap."

He nodded. "Yeah. Do that," sabi niya bago ako bigyan ng maliit na kaway and then went the opposite way. I told myself to stop staring at his cute butt as he was walking away, but my eyes wouldn't let me.

Damn it, Pablo.

It hadn't even been a week since I met you!

* * *

Binilisan ko iyong sa grocery ko. Paguwi ko sa condo, I laid down the dress that I'd be wearing sa kasal ni Therese. I immediately sent it to him. I felt like he probably owns a shirt in the same shade. But I didn't want to inconvenience him kaya nag-send ako ng dalawang option pa.

I saw that he'd seen my message. Instead of answering, he just reacted thumbs up. Normally, that wouldn't bother me since alam ko naman na na nabasa iyong message ko. But a reply would've been nice.

"No," I immediately told myself. "Don't obsess over it. Not a good look," I reminded myself kasi alam ko na matu-turn off siya kapag naging clingy ako. If it were the other way around kasi, maiinis din ako kapag kailangan ng constant attention ng kausap ko. Lalo na ngayon? We're adults. We have responsibility. If we get together, I'd expect to have a partner and not someone I'd have to coddle.

Kaya naman pagkatapos kong mag-reply sa business account ni Pablo sa Instagram (still feel a little weird about it, to be honest), I busied myself doing something else. My unit was still clean. No works on the weekend rule. So, I just decided to go for a swim sa pool ng condo.

Pagbalik ko after my swim, I saw a message from one of my cousins sa province. I didn't like all of my cousins because when the whole Leo situation happened, they all took Therese's side. Kasi nga she's young and sweet and all that shit and me, being the older sister, should just give way. Si Vie lang iyong nag-bother na tanungin kung ano nararamdaman ko sa mga ka-shitan na 'yon.

Vie: punta ka talaga bukas?

Cerise: Yes. Bakit naman hindi?

Vie: wow change of tune? Parang last month lang ayaw mong pumunta.

Cerise: Lol

Vie: narinig ko pinaguusapan ka

Cerise: Nothing new. Ako lang ata interesting na topic jan.

Vie: hahaha lol pero tagal mo rin kasi di nagpakita. For sure daming tanong nila tita sa yo

Cerise: I know. I might bring someone with me.

Vie: boyfriend????

I chose not to reply para mas lalo siyang ma-curious. Hindi ko rin sinabi na si Pablo kasi malay ko ba kung magbago iyong isip niya. At least may plausible deniability ako. Kung anuman mangyari, si Jana na lang dadalhin ko. At least kapag siya, sure na maglalasing lang kami bukas sa hotel room after nung ceremony.

I was in the middle of preparing my dinner nang mapatingin ako sa phone ko na nakapatong lang sa kitchen island. Normally, my Instagram notification was turned off. I just post there because of work. I don't really reply to messages and comments because if you really want to reach out, at least professionally, do it by email. But Pablo... Pablo got my turning on my Instagram notification.

pablosbar: Do you want to see what I'll wear?

cerise: Will you send pics?

pablosbar: I can if you want me to.

cerise: Sure.

I was standing by the kitchen island, one hand on the kitchen island, the other one holding my wine glass. Nakapatong doon iyong phone ko. I was waiting for his message to come through.

The anticipation was killing me.

'First option,' he messaged and then a photo of him came after. From the looks of the background in his photo, it seemed like he was in his walk-in closet. Fuck, the guy has a walk-in closet! I could clearly see his shirts lined up according to color in the background. And he said pupunta pa siya ng mall to buy e mukhang may sarili na siyang mall sa kwarto niya!

'You can tell me if this is not good enough for you. I have other clothes,' sunod na message niya dahil umabot na ata ng dalawang minute ay hindi pa rin ako nakakapag-reply. Iyong picture niya kasi ay nakatayo siya sa harap ng salamin. His phone was covering his face kaya iyong suot niya lang ang kita ko. He was wearing a suit and tie that looked like it was tailored to fit him perfectly. His inner shirt was the exact same shade na sinend ko sa kanya. His shoes and belt matched perfectly, too.

cerise: That looks good, but may I see the other option?

pablosbar: Of course. Hold on. I'll just change.

I was half-tempted to ask him for a video call so I can watch as he's changing, but even I knew that that would sound really weird—not to mention creepy. Instead, I waited while I was sipping my wine.

'Second option,' he said as he sent another photo of him. This was a different suit in a different shade. Color white na iyong inner shirt, but iyong matching color ay iyong tie niya and the suit itself. He also had a different belt, shoes, and watch to complete the look.

Where the fuck was this man hiding all my life?

'Third option,' he messaged as he sent another one.

To say that I was enjoying what we're doing would be the understatement of the century. I was enjoying this—choosing his outfit for him and him actually caring about my opinion.

pablosbar: So? Final verdict?

cerise: Second one.

pablosbar: Thought so. I liked that one, too.

cerise: So why didn't you show that first?

pablosbar: The first one was the safe choice.

cerise: True. But what's life without a little risk, right?

He didn't reply after, but before I fell asleep, he sent a message telling me to send him the address of where he'd pick me up. Damn, Pablo. 

**
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