It is officially the week I've been dreading- the first week of summer. Any normal high school student always anticipates the day they graduate. It is the time to move on from stupid class hierarchies and venture off on your own. 

    But for me, it's the complete opposite.

     I always knew that after the summer of senior year I would have to watch all of my friends leave for college. You see, after what happened I realized that I am stuck. There's no college in my future, not anymore.

     I have learned to live with it, it was out of my hands.

    And besides, it isn't my fault. I keep telling myself that she's who to blame. But nevertheless, it isn't exactly easy. 

     I continue to sit on my bed as one of my best friends Jessica snoops through my dresser to try and find something to wear to the first party of the summer tonight. Normally I would love to go to a party but for some reason I'm just not in the mood.

      I'd much rather be snuggled up in a blanket or two and rewatch episodes of shows I've seen a million times. I admit, the thought of spending my Saturday night alone stuffing my face with mint chocolate chip ice cream doesn't sound like the ideal way to start off the summer, but for me it's just what I need.

    But I doubt my friends would even let me reconsider the plans we've already made.

    Even looking at Jessica now, rummaging around through my drawers goes to show how excited she is, and I roll my eyes internally knowing it won't be easy to get out of this.

    "So what time does this party start?" I ask as she picks up one of the tops out of my dresser drawer and pulls it up to her chest.

Even though I don't feel like going, I also don't want to seem like too much of a buzzkill.

     "Ten o'clock, but we'll probably never get there considering how slow you're going." I laugh as she looks at me and rolls her eyes. She knows me too well.

    She looks over herself one more time in the mirror before setting my top back in the drawer and looking for something else.

     "You should be excited, Elle. Who knows, you might actually have fun." She continues and I nod my head as I wipe my sweaty hands against my leggings.

     The thought of me going to a party isn't a complete abstract idea, throughout our years in high school my friends and I have gone to plenty. I'm not the type of teenager who didn't enjoy them, or would rather be at home, because both of those couldn't be further from the truth.

     "I do want to go- really." I lie.

     "Uhuh," she says back as if she's calling bullshit, and throws a top at me for me to try.  It hits my chest and I let it fall onto my lap, not even trying to catch it.

   "It doesn't matter anyways, because as my best friend it is your job to accompany me to this party. Don't you think we should celebrate not having to go back to that lame excuse for a school anymore? We deserve this." She edges on and walks over to me.

     "You and I are both getting drunk tonight, and we're going dance our asses off until we were weak in the knees, and we're going to have fun." 

     I look down at the shirt in my hands and sigh, it doesn't seem like I'm getting out of this one.

    Her face softens and she gently nudges my shoulder, bringing my attention back to her.

    "Come on, you and I both know the real reason why you don't want to go tonight. Which is exactly why we need to do this, you'll have fun Elle, I promise." 

    I nod my head, slightly feeling like I've already somehow managed to kill the vibe. She's always been able to see right through me, it's no wonder she was able to recognize why I'm feeling this way.

    But she's right, we deserve this.

    We deserve to celebrate after all the bullshit we've had to put through during out years in high school. I don't want to make this summer about all the things I've missed out on, I want to focus on the new things I still have coming.

    One of them being this party tonight.

    "So how'd we get invited to this party anyways?" I ask, changing the subject as she walks back over to my dresser, her long brown hair swaying in the process. 

    You see, the party we're going to go to tonight is a college party. Thankfully it's not at a frat house, but still the thought of me being around such a large group of people who are older than me makes me feel a tad bit uneasy. I've always found college kids to be intimidating, even though technically I'm now one of them.

    Jess looks at me and smiles.

    "A friend." She simply answers, and went back to my clothes. 

    Her and I both know what a friend means. Jessica has a lot of friends. I, on the other hand, can count all of mine on one hand- well one finger to be exact. 

    That's one of the many things I secretly admire about her, how fun and carefree she is. I'm not saying I'm a saint, but sometimes I wish to even have half the courage she has. She's always been the one to encourage me to step out of my comfort zone, which is is exactly what I need.

    "Now go," she playfully smacks me with my shirt and I finally release a laugh for the first time tonight. "Get ready."

     I shrug, "I don't know what I'd even wear-"

    "That's where I come in." She jokes and hurries over to grab my hand and pull me off the bed. 

    A few minutes later we finally find what to wear for tonight and after putting it on and failing at least three times at doing my makeup, Jessica gives in helps me apply it to my face. These are the moments I love the most; getting ready for parties, doing each others makeup, and talking about the most random things while doing so.

    The act itself is slowly ridding me of my anxiety for tonight, and now all I feel is anxious for what's to come.

After the both of us are ready she turns to me and looks over my outfit.

     "I love," she says, taking it all in. It's been a while since we've gotten out and partied like we used to, and I could tell she can't wait.

    I take a deep breath, looking at myself once more in the mirror before sitting back on my bed.

     "So," she says as she walks over and digs into her black handbag, pulling out a bottle of Vodka.

     "I came prepared," Jessica finishes as she brings up the bottle to her face, a giggle leaving her throat as she shakes her body in excitement.

      "No kidding." I say with a laugh. I'm not even surprised, Jessica has always been a goer ever since I can remember. 

    She was always the first to try everything, not that I cared. I love the way she lives her life with open arms to anything that comes her way. 

    Normally I wouldn't start drinking before we get to the party, but hey, it's summer.

      "So how about we take a little shot before we head out." 

    "I think that's a great idea." I say back to her and grab two shot glasses from a drawer in my nightstand. I need something to get my mind off of everything, and if liquid courage doesn't do the trick I don't know what will.

     Jessica pours some of the clear liquid into both of our glasses, filling it to the brim and I ready myself for the harsh taste that's to come.

     "Cheers." She says with a smile on her face, clinking her shot glass with mine. 

   I bring the glass to my lip and throw my head back as I welcome the taste with one gulp. I close my eyes and shake my head when the aftertaste kicks in and plant my glass back on the corner of my nightstand. 

   Jessica seems unfazed by the liquor, instead she watches and laughs when I nearly gag from the taste before she puts the bottle of clear bottle back into her purse.

     "Natalie is almost here to come pick us up." She says as she looks into the mirror once again. 

     Natalie is also in our little friend group. I've known her since my early days in elementary school. Once I met her we immediately clicked. Her and Jessica are very similar with their party antics but their personalities are total opposites. Nat is more like the mom in our group, she takes care of us and helps us think straight and make the right choices. 

     Which is probably why she's driving tonight- none of us wanted to be the designated driver. 

     A couple minutes later we hear two honks outside. I sit up from my bed and walk towards the window in the center of my room looking out into the street, and see her car parked right outside.

    "She's here." I say and Jessica immediately grabs my hand, dragging me down the stairs.

    Nobody seems to be home, which is just what I expected. My Aunt Amelia is never home at this hour since her shift at the hospital usually starts later in the day. As we make our way out the door Jessica finally releases my hand. The cold breeze from outside makes me shiver, and I mentally blame Jessica for making me wear so little tonight.

 I climb into the backseat of Natalie's Jeep before scooching over to the middle in between her and Jess.

  "So where am I taking us?" Natalie asks as she eyes both of our outfits.

"I'll give you the directions, they're on my phone." Jessica replies, which immediately reminds me. I looked down at my phone and there it was- the notification saying it is on 20% battery. 

    "Shit, I forgot to charge my phone." I whine, shaking my head. I was so distracted from getting ready that I forgot to plug it into the charger.

     "I have a portable," Jessica offers, extending her hand back for me to give her my phone. I hand it to her and watch as she puts my phone into her bag. 

     "How about another shot, shall we?" Jess asks and brings out the bottle of liquor and I don't hesitate to take another swig after she passes me the bottle. I see Natalie roll her eyes and I can't help but laugh as we make our way to the party.

 Maybe Jessica is right, I could end up having fun tonight.