The next couple of days I feel as though I'm moving on autopilot. I haven't seen or talked to Mason since the night he came into my room. I'm not sure why I feel so hurt by it either, this is what he always does. He constantly finds new ways to send me mixed signals, and as of right now I feel like I am drowning in them.

The first day I found myself waiting by the front door for him to come back home, and with each hour that passed I felt like an even bigger idiot than the last. Aiden asked to hang out but I didn't want to miss the opportunity to see Mason so I could finally ask him how he's doing.

I spent all night staying awake just in case he stumbled back into my room again. My thoughts were haunting me, every bad scenario you could imagine made an appearance in my mind at least two or three times.

But then I heard him come home at around four in the morning and walk straight towards his room.

I sighed, rolled my body over and fell asleep.

The second day I spent the evening trying to take my mind off of him and the hurt I was feeling. Which included a shit ton of stress cleaning until Jessica practically hauled my ass out from scrubbing the floor and demanded we both get out of the pungent bleach smelling house.

While we got food she rambled on about Shawn and I pretended to listen. Nodding my head along to her rants as my burger and fries remained untouched in front of me. My thoughts were clouding my every emotion, and it made me feel too sick to even eat.

The third day was the day I grew furious over the situation. I had gone over every last word he's ever said to me in my mind and wondered if it was all in my head. The way he touched me, kissed me, the words he spoke- was that all a part of the game?

I was sick and tired of moping around waiting for the day he would speak to me again. The thought of me being so desperate for his attention made me feel even more pathetic. Since when had my feelings towards him become so detrimental to my own?

The worst part about all of this isn't just the fact that he's ghosted me again for the millionth time, it's that I kept questioning what I did wrong to make him do so.

But that's it- I did nothing wrong.

It's taken me until today, the fourth day to see that. It is always the same routine with him; he'll be gone for most if not all of the day, and come back in the middle of the night. How many more signs that he's not interested in me can I get?

It's not like he's out rescuing puppies until four a.m. every night.

Even though none of this is my fault, I only have myself to blame.

My feet slowly make its way up the stairs towards my bedroom, and I have to force myself not to look in the direction of Masons. I can't shake this lonely withdrawn feeling I've had since we've last spoken. Everything in my life screams monotonous without him in it.

I sigh, and just as I'm about to turn the knob to my bedroom door I hear a noise coming from Jessica's room. It is one I've grown quite familiar with, especially during these past couple of days.

I follow the sound, hoping that what I'm thinking inside my head is wrong. I open her door slowly and peak inside. Unfortunately what I predicted is true, and my heart constricts at the sight.

Jessica is lying stomach down on her bed, burying her head in one of her pillows. I watch as her body rises up and down from hiccups escaping her mouth. Her arms grip around the pillow tightly as tears run down her cheeks.

"Jess..." I step into her bedroom and her head snaps up.

Her eyes are red and puffy and the streaks of run down mascara stained onto her cheeks leaves me to cogitate how long she's been lying here like this.

My eyes met hers and she props herself up on her elbows and wipes her face. I walk over to the tissue box on her desk and grab it before sitting right beside her.

"What happened?" I ask as I hand her the box. She takes it from my hand and pulls some out to wipe her eyes.

"Shawn happened."

My body shrinks from her words. I know how devastating it can feel to cry over someone you care about, and I hate seeing it happen to my best friend.

I place my hand on her back and begin to rub it circles, trying to comfort her. But the simple action only causes her to cry more. I sit by her side, handing her tissues and rubbing her back while she let's it all out.

"Last night while we were out we ran into Sofia." She says after she catches her breath. "And the bitch had plenty to say about where Shawn spent most of his time while we were dating."

I don't say anything, I just let her continue to speak while she's able to get the words out.

"He was cheating on me, Elle. The whole time he was fucking cheating on me." Tears run down her face and I place my hand on hers, giving it gentle squeezes from time to time.

I can't imagine the pain she's going through. Finding out someone you care about has been with someone else; I would be devastated.

"Jess, I'm so sorry..." My voice trails out as she lifts her head back up to look at me.

"And when I confronted him about it he had the nerve to say that it was my fault. That I wasn't putting out enough for him, can you believe that?" I can see the anger rising in her eyes and I rub my thumb along her hand to try and ease it.

"I can't believe he would do something like that to you."

"I can." She quickly says, "God, I just feel so stupid. I knew that Shawn was a player, it's one of the reasons why we broke up in the first fucking place. But for some reason I thought maybe things would be different this time. But guys like that don't change, not for me, not for anybody."

I tear my eyes away from Jessica's and can't help but relate to what she's saying. Why do girls always do this? Pick someone who we're better off without and hope and pray that they'll change who they are for us. The thought alone seems ridiculous and yet I find that Jessica and I are on the same boat.

And then it hit me- acceptance.

Acceptance for what's happened these past couple of days. I can't change any of it, but I can change how I choose to let it make me feel.

All I want is for Jessica to see that she deserves better, that she deserves to be happy. So why can't I see that for myself?

"Jess, hoping that someone will change for the better doesn't make you stupid, it means you care. And how could you not with everything you and Shawn have been through? But don't ever think that this is your fault, he made a choice, and he chose wrong."

Finally, she brings a small smile to her face and I feel my shoulders relax from relief that washes over me. I lean into her and bring her into a hug, wrapping my arms tightly around her as she nuzzles her snotty nose into the crook of my neck.

"You know what always makes me feel better? Well, other than crying my eyes out." I ask just as I retreat back from the hug, she looks at me, her eyebrows furrowed with curiosity. "Alcohol." I finish and she bursts into laughter.

The sound warms my heart and I laugh with her, I'm sure she already knew I would say something like that but still I'm happy to see the smile it's given her.

"You just read my mind." She says as she stands up from the bed. "I'll go grab some downstairs, I'll be right back."

I nod my head and lean back, my back resting on the headboard of her bed. She darts off towards the door, taking a few steps until she stops in her tracks. She turns around slowly on her heels to face me.

"Elle?" She questions and I turn my head to face her. "I'm really happy you're here."

I can see the sincerity in her eyes and I smile at her.

"So am I."

❀

We spent the next couple of hours drinking the rosé that she brought up. At first I was surprised she brought wine, but she assured me that wine drunk hits you differently. We agree that the both of us need to get out of the house tonight. And after a while of thinking over where to go, she suddenly gets the idea to go to Club X.

Club X is a notorious 21+ club that Corey's brother just so happens to work at. Jessica calls Corey to see if his brother can provide us with the wristbands we'd need to get in and be able to drink, and once he gives her the thumbs up she nearly falls off of the bed from excitement.

I throw my head back in laughter as she steadies her body- wine glass in hand.

Although the thought of going to a club- Club X for that matter- doesn't sound too appealing to me, it doesn't take long for Jessica to convince me to go.

After scrounging around Jessica's massive closet for about fifteen minutes I finally decide to wear a navy blue satin bodycon dress that ends a few inches above my knees. The back is pretty much bare, the only thing it has are thin straps criss-crossed across the center. I think it may be too short for my liking, but Jessica repeatedly reassures me that it isn't.

I attempt to try and do my own makeup but after I jab my mascara in my eye for the third time Jessica tells me she's seen enough and hurries over to save the day.

When we're both finally ready I walk over to the full body mirror in her room and look over the person in the reflection in front of me. 

The bodycon dress looks snug against my skin, it's a bit tighter than I'd like since Jessica is a size or two smaller than me which only creates more cleavage for the world to see. My hair resting upon my shoulders in light curls, which I'm sure will frizz up before the end of the night. And, the black open toe ankle strap heels feel tight against my feet.

But besides all that, I look great.

"You ready?" Jessica's words break my out of my trance.

I push all of the pessimistic thoughts trying to resurface into the back of my mind, and nod my head before we head out to the club.

❀

Once we make it to the club I'm instantly reminded why I never go to these things. 

The line outside the door almost stretched to the end of the parking lot. Jessica walks right up to the front of the line and I follow, ignoring all the glares from everyone in line behind us. Thankfully, the bouncer didn't hesitate to let us through the burgundy velvet rope barrier after Jessica gives him Corey's brothers name.

The energy in the club is unparalleled, it takes me a moment to grasp it all. Neon lights illuminate the entire floor, everywhere I look there are people with drinks in hand, dancing, laughing, or grinding on each other. The dance floor is filled with people swaying to the music under the dim lights and I gulp from how packed it looks.

There are leather couches blocked from the general crowd specifically made for anyone with a VIP pass, and as I look up from the dance floor I see Corey and his brother wave at us to meet them there.

The thick air around me makes it harder to breathe, and I grab onto Jessica's hand as she leads us through the crowds of people.

"Fucking hell!" Corey exclaims when we reach where him and his brother are sitting. He eyes the both of us closely and I intertwine my hands together and smile, already feeling a bit awkward.

I need some alcohol.

I feel eyes on me and look at the older man standing beside him, I assume that's Corey's brother. His hazel eyes drink up my body and I tense up, hoping the smile on my face hides it all.

"This is my older brother, Felix." Corey introduces Jessica and I to him and I simply nod my head.

"Corey, if I had known that these were the girls you were bringing tonight I would have invited them sooner." He runs his tongue quickly across his bottom hip and my stomach churns.

A laugh leaves Jessica's lips and I stand there waiting for someone else to speak up.

"Sit. I'll go bring us some vodka tonics." Corey says and scurries off to the bar, Felix following behind him.

My muscles relax when I hear that they're bringing us drinks and I sink back into the couch cushions. The floor to the club vibrates from the bass of the loud music, and I can already feel my ears start to ring from the deafening sound.

"So what do you think?" Jessica yells over the music.

"I think it's loud." She rolls her eyes at my response and nudges my shoulder with her body.

"Well I'm sure you'll loosen up in no time. Be careful with the drinks Elle, we both know you're a lightweight."

I laugh at her comment towards me and shake my head, not wanting to admit how right she is. I know I'm no professional with handling my alcohol, but tonight I want to unleash all of my emotions that are straining my body. And what's a better place to do that other than at a club?

"If there's one thing you should be concerned about tonight, it's Felix. The guy gives me the creeps." I tell her, trying not to yell too loud for anyone to hear us.

"I think he's hot. Plus, you know the best way to get over someone?" She leans in closer to me, "Get under someone else."

I should have known how difficult it would be to keep Jessica away from all of these older eligible men in front of us. My eyes widen from her words and she winks at me and laughs, finding my reaction funny.

"Jess, that's Corey's brother for fucks sake." I shudder at the thought and she waves her hand at me to dismiss it.

"I'm not saying him. But I'm keeping my options open."

She seems to be in a much better mood than she was earlier, and I'm happy to see that. It's not like Jessica can't get anyone else with the snap of her fingers, because that's the total opposite. Even though she'd never admit it, she has guys lining up for her, it would be as easy as taking candy from a baby.

"Ladies." Corey and his brother approach us, one holding a tray of our vodka tonics, the other with tequila shots. Jessica grins at the sight in front of us and I remind myself to relax.

I'm here to have fun, so why not go all the way?

We commence the night with one shot each, as we take it Jessica and I link our arms together while Corey and Felix cheer us on. After that I immediately divulge myself into the vodka tonic in front of me. The whole time I'm drinking it it takes all my strength to hold back a cough from the harsh taste, but surprisingly it gets easier with each sip I take.

Jessica's friend Dominique ends up walking past the VIP booth, and Jessica immediately asks her to join us. I haven't seen Dom since she graduated last year, but I know her and Jess always kept in touch. She looks the same as she did a year ago, her black curly hair is still just above her shoulders and her nostril and septum piercings still remain in place. The only difference I can immediately spot is that she's gotten a bit more tattoos, and as my eyes trail down them I find myself thinking about Mason so I reach over to the table and down another shot.

Dom ends up drinking with us for about twenty or so minutes before we make our way over to the dance floor. As I stand up, my knees feel as though they're about to give out but Felix quickly puts his large hands on my backside to help hold me in place.

I'm too drunk to tell him to get the fuck off of me, so instead I follow behind the group and let my body sway to to the music. The bass pounds into my ears, drowning out all of the unnecessary noise around me.

I can see Felix moving his body towards me and I quickly readjust so that I'm standing beside Jessica. Our bodies move together in sync, she grabs onto my hips as we dance to the music ignoring all of the hollering guys around us..

It feels good to let go, the numbness in my body feels lighter with every bass drop.

I don't know how much time passes as we dance, but when I realize that my glass is empty I slow down to a stop.

My body is hot and sweaty, and I wipe the sweat that beaded on the top of my forehead and try to catch my breath.

"My glass is empty!" I shout to Jessica and hold the clear glass in my hand upside down as proof. "I'm going to get a refill, I'll be back." She nods her head and continues to dance beside Corey.

"I'll go with you, I could use some water." Felix says and follows me towards the bar. I groan at the fact that he's coming with me, and hope he doesn't hear it over the loud music.

Right when we get to the bar I nearly trip at the last second and use the seat to prevent me from falling on my ass. I burst into a fit of laughter as I struggle to raise myself up to reach the seat cushion. The seat wobbles below me and I move my hips along with it until Felix grabs a hold of the back, stopping me from falling over.

"Are you sure you should be getting another drink?" He asks me and I roll my eyes.

"Trust me, getting another drink is the best decision I've made aaaaaallll week." I tell him and feel like getting the words out took longer than it should have.

He keeps his hand resting on the back of my chair and I inch further away from him. My eyes connect with the bartenders a few feet away from us and I shoot my arm up to try and get his attention.

"Excuse me, sir... Vodkaaa tonic." I slur and gulp down the bile rising in my throat.

Fuck I am so wasted.

I show him my wristband to prove that I'm able to drink and he nods his head at me.

I can feel Felix's eyes on my body and turn my head around to act like I'm looking anywhere else but at him. I scan the large room, my eyes going over every little detail of the club. Raking over it all starting from the double doors all the way over to the end of the VIP lounge, and for a moment I swear I recognize something in the corner of the room.

I try to focus on it but my vision seems to be at a disagreement with me because I can't make it out through the crowd of people between us. I straighten my body upwards and blink my eyes into focus, and that's when I see him.

He's in the VIP section, his knees spread open while his body relaxes against one of the many couches around him. The one thing I do notice is how many women are around him. I watch as one woman in particular scooches closer to him and drags her index finger along the top of his chest, whispering something in his ear that doesn't seem to faze him.

I can't believe it. So this is where he spends his time?

All of those nights I stayed up waiting for him and he was here at a fucking club?

My gaze hardens on the two of them and I can feel every fiber in my body lighting on fire from it all happening in front of me. I tell myself that I don't care- I shouldn't care about what I'm witnessing, but I still find myself studying Mason's face for any sign that he finds her attractive.

I know I should be tearing my eyes away but for some reason I can't. They remain glued on the two across from me and just as I'm about to look away, his eyes connect with mine.

My stomach drops once I realize I'm caught, and I'm about 99% sure that I'm unable to step off this stool and run off without eating shit. His face hardens at the sight of me, and he pushes the woman away from him before standing up from the couch.

I have nowhere to hide, the only thing I can do is sit down and watch as a seething looking Mason strides towards me.