All American Boys

Chapter 21: Tamar

Sure, I liked Isaac and he felt the same towards me. But that didn't mean we could walk around holding hands or steal kisses behind lockers. For one, Isaac didn't want to risk being outed to his father, but more importantly, I couldn't lose Cyril.

So we just stuck to text messages. Throughout the week, he'd wish me good night, and he'd text me in the morning as well. It would be sweet and I'd honestly would've be more relaxed about it if Cyril wasn't doing the exact same thing. So I resorted to not naming any names when I texted. No Cyril, no Isaac.

Just 'baby'.

Cyril loved it. Isaac, eh, not so much. But I'd rather irritate Isaac by calling him baby than calling Cyril Isaac.

I'm not cheating. I'm just sharing myself.

Talking about Cyril, he seemed to get more intimate with me recently. It felt encroaching, but I let it be. He'd always try to sit with me whenever he had the chance, and at lunch I noticed he would inch himself closer towards me until our thighs rubbed against each other. Isaac would shoot an occasional glare at us, but he could do nothing.

I already told him how I truly felt about Cyril, but I guess he couldn't help being jealous. I suppose it was natural.

After what happened on the beach, Isaac seemed to deliberately avoid mentioning any of his problems. Conversations with him were always very superficial. What did he do today? What did he eat for breakfast? It was tiring, honestly. I wanted to talk about it, but I knew he'd just shut me down again. Truth be told, I was worried.

"So," Cyril asked me on Friday after lunch as I took out my math textbook from my locker. "I was wondering what's your schedule today?"

"Oh, nothing much," I told him. "I have tennis practice but after that I'm free."

"Cool, cool," he replied, nodding his head. "Hey, uh- do you wanna meet after your tennis? I have football practice but I think it ends around the same time."

"Sure," I said to him. "I'll see you then."

We waved goodbye and made our way to our own classes. In fact, I actually did have plans with Isaac. He was coming over to spend the night before we set out tomorrow for the military base. But at the same time, I haven't been with Cyril for a while, so I guess I'd have to try to make some space for him.

Sneakily taking my phone out as the teacher rambled on and on about algebraic formulas, I texted Isaac and asked him if he was cool with coming over a bit later in the evening.

A few minutes passed by before I received his reply: he agreed. Great.

I didn't really do much for tennis practice, just the usual warmups and some rounds with Emily. Honestly, hitting the ball and watching it bounce as it hit Emily's side of the court was therapeutic. That was one thing I liked about tennis – there was a pattern to it. Sure sometimes it can get frantic and pace gets faster than a bullet train but the movements were all consistent. Hit the ball, the ball bounces, the ball gets hit, the ball bounces, then it goes back to hitting the ball. It was predictable.

With Isaac, it was totally different. He was so different from anything I'm used to. I couldn't read him, and he was always full of surprises. In a sense, I felt insecure because I didn't feel in control. I always had to tread around my words or think up of things on the spot. He thrust me out there, far from my comfort zone. And I liked it, but it also worries me.

I knew it wasn't my place to talk about the abuse. I knew I shouldn't insist on talking about it if he doesn't. Because at the end of the day it wasn't about me. It didn't matter if I wanted to talk about it, or if I was more than willing to be his shoulder to cry on. If he didn't want to talk about it, if he prefers to just shut it out then it was his prerogative.

But then again, I felt like I had to do something. If only there was something I could do to get him away from his pain. It wasn't enough for me to just sit there and help him forget.

"You okay?" Emily asked as we were packing up. "You looked quite distracted earlier."

"Yeah," I shrugged as I put my tennis racket away. "I'm fine."

"You sure?" she said, her eyebrows burrowing into a concerned frown. "Come on Alex, I know you."

I turned to look if anyone was within earshot, before finally relaxing my shoulders.

"It's Isaac," I told her.

"Well, what about him?" she asked, picking up her bag. "Did you fight?"

"No, no, nothing like that," I told her. "It's just that-"

"You just what?"

"I have reason to believe that things aren't going well for him at home," I sighed, a relief flooding my heart now that I've let out the words I've pent up these past few days.

"Well that's nice that you're concerned," she said.

"You don't get it," I replied, shaking my head. "He's being abused by his dad."

Emily was silent for a moment, looking down at the ground solemnly.

"That's horrible," she finally said. "Gosh, no one should ever go through something like that."

"The thing is," I replied. "I don't know how to help him. It took him a while to finally talk about it, but now he keeps defending his dad -making up excuses for him, and telling me it's his fault. I really don't know what to do."

"I don't think there's anything you could do," she said, a slight shrug on her shoulders. "Really, at the end of it, it's his struggle. We all have our own. Maybe just let him know that you'll always be there for him if he ever wants to talk."

"That's what I've been doing," I sighed. "But it doesn't feel like enough."

"But what else could you do Alex?" Emily questioned me. "Sometimes being supportive of someone when they need you is more than enough. If you ask me, I think you're doing a good job."

We started to head out of the tennis courts.

"Anyway," Emily said as we walked, changing the subject. "Tell me: so how's things between. . . you three?"

"Well," I replied, cracking my knuckles. "Well for one, nothing's been confirmed by anyone yet. In other words I'm still technically single."

"Technically," Emily repeated after me, rolling her pretty eyes. "Yeah, right."

"Well I mean," I shrugged. "Cyril and I are more or less a thing, so there's that. And Isaac already knows what's going on, so the arrangement works pretty well for me."

"Now aren't you a charming two-timer," the young woman teased.

"It's not two timing if I don't actually like one of them," I asserted.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night honey," Emily replied, batting her pretty eyelashes.

As we headed towards the bleachers en route to the locker rooms, I saw Cyril sitting in the front row. He noticed us approaching, a smile beamed on his face before waving. I waved back.

"Hey guys," the young man jogged up to us.

He was decked out in his football kit sans the helmet, which he had left on the bleachers. The shoulder pads under his jersey made him look bigger than he actually was. He was still muscular though, don't get me wrong.

His pale face was flushed, beads of sweat dripping down his cheeks. His red jersey was soaked, his hair a tousled mess.

He was staring at me, his greenish-grey eyes were bright and cheerful. He almost seemed too excited and happy to see me. And truth be told it was cute, but at the same time it got on my nerves a little bit. He was so positive, it didn't make sense to me. I had always tried to prod around and see when he will shed that mask. I had a hard time believing anyone could be so positive all the time. But he still kept at it, so perhaps it was genuine positivity after all.

How naive.

I only smiled at him like I usually did, an effortless smile on my lips.

"I guess I'll leave the two of you at it then," Emily said, shooting a smile at the blushing Cyril. "Have fun."

With that, she walked away, but not before glancing over her shoulder, a smirk on her lips.

"I-I hope I wasn't interrupting anything," Cyril stammered, his cheeks a rosy pink.

"No, it's fine," I told him. "Besides, I'd rather spend time with you."

The young man chuckled as he scratched the back of his head with his right hand.

"So," I said, tilting my head. "What do you wanna do?"

"Actually," he replied. "Would you like to sit down with me?"

The young man motioned over to the seats where he had placed down his helmet.

"Actually I was about to shower," I said.

"Oh come on," he begged. "It's just for a while."

I relented, and let him lead me by the hand. I really hoped no one was looking. Cyril didn't seem to care though.

"I have uh," he began as we sat down on the bleachers. "I have something to say."

"Cool," I replied. "Spill."

The young man fidgeted, avoiding eye contact with me as his gaze wandered across the ground in front of him.

"Recently I've been thinking about the two of us. . ." he began, finally looking up, his eyes meeting mine. "And things have been going great between us and I was just wondering if you. . "

I raised my eyebrow. I knew what he was going to say, but I let him finish it. At least that'll give him the satisfaction of confessing to me. And honestly, being on the receiving end of someone's feelings is always lovely.

"Wanted to be my boyfriend?" he asked, the tone of his voice unsure.

He looked at me with hopeful eyes, biting down into his lower lip.

"Oh Cyril," I replied, placing a hand daintily on my chest, right over my heart. "That's so sweet of you. Of course I'd love to!"

"Really?" he blurted out. "I-I mean, great!"

I only smiled as he took my hands in his.

"Wow," he said, almost as if he couldn't believe it. "I'm just so happy right now."

"Me too," I replied, trying to mirror his smile.

Except that of course, I really couldn't. His smile was genuine, his lips naturally curling up at the edges, giving out pure boyish joy. A smile of someone so happy that his feelings were reciprocated. Meanwhile, I had to pretend. It wasn't like I wasn't used to it, but in for a fleeting moment as I looked into his gleaming eyes, I couldn't help but feel the guilt creep to my heart.

"So," he said. "Are we boyfriends now?"

"You bet," I replied, shaking off the unsettling feeling in my chest.

We headed off for the showers and once we were done, we headed back to our cars, Cyril excitedly telling me about his day. I only listened and nodded. The guilt was gone and I was back to being my fake self, putting on a show just for him.

He had changed into a navy blue cashmere sweater and a pair of beige pants. I didn't know how he did it. He was always so picture perfect. Did he keep a fresh set of ironed clothes in the locker room? His hair was combed immaculately, parted to the side.

"I'll see you on Monday then?" he said as he unlocked his car. "I mean, if you don't have any plans for the weekend we could always hang out."

"Oh, sorry," I told him. "I'd really love to but I'm busy on both days."

"That's fine then," he replied. "Monday it is."

Walking up to me, he held me in his arms as our lips touched. I closed my eyes and tried to savour the sweetness of the moment, but I couldn't help but be distracted by the overwhelming scent of his cologne. I just stood there limply, letting him kiss me gently and slowly. I could feel his passion, but I was just so distant. Our lips were touching, but I was nowhere near him. I suppose no matter what he did, I would always be able to spot all his flaws.

That night, Isaac and I wasted no time getting frisky after dinner. Pushing the young man's bare chest down against my bed, I relished his lips. He tasted like salt, sweat and sugar at the same time, but it was those lips which I yearned for. Whatever guilt I had about earlier, whatever clouds of doubt I had regarding the magnitude of my earlier actions had all but disappeared as I plunged my erection into Isaac's warm tight ass. His moans of pleasure and pain, his teary green eyes made me forget that me officially becoming Cyril's boyfriend meant that there was no turning back.

"Ah," the young man moaned, beads of sweat dripping down both our naked bodies. "Alex!"

"You like that huh?" I said, ramming myself even harder into the poor boy, who just groaned and whimpered.

"Yeah," he moaned under his hot and heavy breaths. "Oh yeah."

I pulled out of him and made him flip himself around. He was on all fours now, bent over just for me. I was ready to go enjoy the new view as I watched his cheeks quiver with every thrust of my hips against them when the shrill ringing of my phone interrupted us.

"Could you pass me my phone?" I asked Isaac, too lazy to reach out for it.

The young man grabbed it, took a look at the screen and passed it behind him.

"It's your boyfriend," Isaac said. "Isn't that roman – ah shit!"

I shut him up with a series of hard thrust, sending him buckling. All the while, I stared at my phone screen, at Cyril's name written blatantly on it.

"Just pick it up!" Isaac said through gritted teeth, in between his sweet sighs and whimpers.

"Okay, okay," I told him, squeezing his ass with my free hand. "You're gonna have to be quiet alright?"

Well, my boyfriend was calling. So what? That wasn't going to stop me from enjoying Isaac's tight sphincters and insides gripping against my penis. He had lubed up pretty nicely too, making it way easier for me to enter.

"Hey baby," I said as I picked up his call.

"Hey," I heard Cyril's voice over the line. "Are you in the middle of something?"

"What makes you think that?" I asked.

I made sure I moved slower, but feeling his walls slide against me was just as good as ramming him savagely. Isaac did a good job suppressing the ungodly noises he made – by biting down hard into my pillow.

"Nah, you took quite a while to answer," he replied. "So I thought you were busy."

"It's fine," I told him. "I'm just getting ready for bed."

"Ah, then I'll make it quick then," he chuckled. "I wouldn't want to be cause of you missing out on your beauty sleep."

I bent down and gave Isaac's bare back a few kisses while I gave an affirmative 'mhmm' into the phone.

"I'm sure you've heard about Shoshana's fundraiser gala by now," he told me. "It's happening in about three weeks time."

"Yeah, yeah," I replied half-listening as I continued to make love to Isaac.

"I was wondering if you'd be my date for the event," he asked. "Well, you don't have to hold hands in public or anything, if you're not ready. But. . . I'd just really like it if you could come for it."

"Is your dad going to be there?" I asked.

"Nah," he told me. "He's going to be away with my mom for a trip that weekend."

"So Shoshanna's going to be holding a fundraiser in your mansion but your father isn't going to be there?" I questioned him, raising an eyebrow even though he couldn't see it. "Seems quite funny to me."

"Well it's like that last year too," he replied. "But it's normal. The Steins are my parents business partners after all."

Yeah, I thought to myself. Totally nothing to do with the jewels on Shoshana's fingers, or the fact that Shoshana seemed to know so much about the Crawford's secrets.

"Anyway," I told him. "I'd love to come. Is there any theme for it by the way?"

"Well we don't have any," he answered. "Just something formal would be fine. But are you sure you wanna come? I'd feel bad if I dragged you along and you end up just like the time at the party."

"Those kinds of parties are different," I replied. "Anyway thank you so much for inviting me."

"No problem," he said over the line, chuckling. "I'm just glad you could accompany my lonely ass."

"If that's all," I replied as I thrusted into the young man's ass in front of me. "I really should get back to sleep."

"Well good night then!" my boyfriend wished me over the phone.

"Night, baby," I replied, even making a smooching sound, before ending the call and putting my phone aside.

Seeing that the coast was finally clear again, Isaac took his mouth away from my pillow, and I began to plow him harder grabbing his golden brown hair by the roots, filling my room with the sound of his moans. I came inside him again, while Isaac squirted all over my sheets.

After cleaning up, wiping off the spilled semen with tissues and taking a fresh shower together, I lay in bed with Isaac. He wrapped me in his strong arms, spooning me as we shared my small bed.

"Shit," he chuckled as we lay there. "You really went all out on me today."

"Well," I said, snuggling up to him. "But you liked it didn't you?"

"Yeah but I don't like the fact that my asshole is going to be sore for the next few days," he chuckled.

I closed my eyes listening to Isaac's soft breaths and the sound of his heart beating in his chest. Any guilt towards Cyril I had felt in that short span of one afternoon had all but disappeared.

As I fell asleep in Isaac's arms, I thought to myself.

I wasn't doing anything wrong. As a matter of fact, I was just starting to get the hang of it.