The next day I woke up with a new resolution. I don't know what had gotten into me while sleeping but all I knew was that I was either going to ask Aaron about the kiss or tell him how I felt about him. I don't know from where I got this much courage but I was determined to achieve the
goal not caring about the consequences. I don't know what will happen. Whether Aaron will return my feelings or not? Whether we'll continue to be great friends or not?
Whether my heart will still be in single piece or not? All I knew was that I had to tell him. So with this new found determination, after lunch, I picked up my phone, texted Sam that I was going to tell Aaron today and left my room. I was halfway down the stairs when my phone buzzed with text message from Sam.
It read: " You go girl. I'm with you. I'll be there as soon as possible."
I smiled at his response but didn't text back. I locked my phone and went out of the house towards Aaron's. When I
entered, Kate was in the kitchen. Once she saw me she hugged me and I asked her where Aaron was.
"He is in his room with Jamie, I guess."
"Thanks Kate. Bye. See you later." She gave me a smile and I ran up the stairs towards Aaron's room. I was nervous as hell and my heart was
beating rapidly and my face was burning hot. I took a deep breath and wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans and marched forward. I was only two steps away from his door when my whole world seemed to stop. I couldn't move an inch and stood there in shock.
"I love you. I've always loved you and you know that. You've always known that. Don't deny what is between us."
Though I couldn't see his face but Aaron's voice echoed in my ears. He confessed his love to Jamie. He was in love with her. I was still like a statue and shocked beyond words. My heart was broken again, no, this time it wasn't broken but shattered and beyond repair. I involuntarily took a step back and breathed hard. I wiped the tears that were flowing like river from my cheeks. I turned around and ran down the stairs and out of the door before Kate could see me.
I ran to my room and closed the door behind me. I sat on the bed with my head between my knees and cried hard. I was feeling empty as if there was a huge hole left in my chest where my heart used to be a few minutes ago. I was broken and my whole body was aching. It was not some stupid crush but this time I had lost my love and it was killing me. I began to sob even harder. I was crying in the same position for I don't know how long when someone opened my door. I was numb and felt lifeless enough to not even bother to
check who it was.
"Oh God, Kayla. What happened?" Sam placed a hand on my back and his voice was filled with worry. I cried again and he grew more worried. He continuously asked me what happened.
"Kayla, tell me what happened this instant." He demanded sternly. I wiped my tears and looked at him. His face showed concern and worry.
"Tell me what happened? Why are crying so much? Who made you cry this much? I swear I'll kill him." He was worried and angry at the same time.
"No one did this to me. It's my own fault. I was naïve enough to not realize it sooner." I said staring blankly into the space.
"What do you mean?"
"I lost him, Sam. He was never mine to begin with. I was so stupid." I covered my face with both my hands. "What was I thinking?"
"I don't understand." I gave a humorless chuckle.
"What is there to not understand about it? Everything was right in front of our eyes. I misunderstood everything, like I always do. I thought the kiss meant something, the gifts; they meant something. They gave me hope, expectations. But I was wrong. I was a fool in love. I'm always trying to find extra meaning in everything, Sam. What an absurd thing I was going to do?" I looked at him.
He was staring worriedly and confusedly at me.
"Just tell me what happened."
"Aaron. He loves Jamie. I should have known it sooner. She knew who his first love was and why won't she? She
was the girl all along." Sam looked at me with his mouth hanging open in disbelief. He shook his head.
"No, this isn't true. It can't be. You're mistaken."
"Really? How can I be mistaken when I heard with my own two ears Aaron confessing his love to her." I wiped away the tear.
Sam sat in front of me and lifted my face up with his finger.
"Look at me Kayla. Tell me exactly what you heard." He asked looking me in the eye. I told him everything that happened. He was constantly shaking his head.
"It's the truth, Sammy."
He got up and sat next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and patted my head like a protective big
brother while I cried silently on his shoulder.
"If only you hadn't made me promise to not tell him... if only, Kayla, if only." He sighed.
After I calmed down a bit he let me go. "Listen to me Kayla, maybe there is some misunderstanding-"
"I know what I heard. He loves her. I can't change that but it hurts like hell. I'm glad though," he raised his eyebrow. "That I didn't tell him anything and saved myself from awkwardness embarrassment."
"There is nothing embarrassing in it, Kayla. Those guys are unlucky who are blind enough to not see what is in
front of them, to not know your worth. You don't know how precious you are."
"Precious as in from the Lord Of The Rings?" I managed a little smile and he smiled too and ruffled my hair.
"Hey Sammy?"
"Yes?"
"Don't tell anyone about this, not Aaron and not even Jen. Please." He nodded. That is one of the many things that I love about my best friend, he never spills my secrets to
anyone, not even to his girlfriend.
"Now don't sit here and cry your eyes out. Get up, we are going out."
"I don't want to go anywhere right now, Sammy."
"Then what are you going to do? Lock yourself up in this room and be depressed?" I smiled a little at him.
"No, I won't be depressed but I need some time and then I'll be fine." He nodded.
"But promise me you won't cry."
"I'll try." He gave me a slight smile. His phone started to ring. It was Sakshi.
"Yeah... I can't come this time-"... "I know. I'll be there later." He answered from his end of the line.
"Go Sam. She needs you. I'll be fine." He was about to argue but I insisted. I gave him a reassuring smile while he
looked at me and sighed.
"All right I'll be there."
He gave me a tight hug and then left. I sat on my bed doing nothing for about an hour, then got up and started pacing around, thinking. I was snapped out of my trance by the knock on the door. Amy and Kris walked in.
"Hey." I managed to say with a smile.
"Hi Kay. Is everything alright?" I was confused. How could she know already?
"Umm... Yeah. Why?"
"Mom said you came earlier today but Aaron said he didn't see you so we were kind of worried."
"Oh! About that? I had left my phone back here so I came back to retrieve it and then Sam came over. So I got caught up here."
"Okay. Well I'll see you around then." She said with a huge grin. I smiled back. She held Kris' hand and walked out of the door.
Being alone was not helping the lump that had formed on my throat either so I decided to go for a drive. I grabbed my car keys and went downstairs. I said goodbye to my mom and stepped out of the doors when I saw Aaron and Jamie walking towards me. Seeing them together felt like someone had stabbed me with hot iron rod and filled my heart with burning embers. I looked in the direction of garage and started walking towards it when Aaron called
my name.
"Kayla wait." I closed my eyes and gulped hard. I turned around and he was few steps away from me and Jamie was few steps behind him.
"Hi." He said slightly out of breath. I gave him a tight lipped smile.
"Have you been crying?" He asked as soon as his eyes met mine.
"What? No."
"Then why are your eyes puffy?"
"I don't know." He raised his eyebrows, not believing my answer. I shrugged my shoulders. Jamie came and was in front of me. She gave me a warm smile and I managed to give one back.
"Where are you going?" He asked.
"I've some work to attend to." I said with a straight face.
"What work?" I raised my eyebrows. "Sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. I was just worried."
"I know, Amy told me," I said before he could say anything else.
"And?"
"I had left my phone back at my room and then I went back to get it and then Sam came." I repeated the lie I told Amy.
"Oh, okay."
"I should go now." I turned before he could answer anything else. I had walked a few steps when a warm hand grabbed my wrist. I turned around and saw Aaron standing in front of me.
"Is everything okay?" He asked cautiously.
"Yes."
"Have I done something wrong?"
"No."
"Then why this cold behavior towards me?"
"Me? No. I always act like this."
"Stop lying Kayla." He said a bit louder this time but apologized immediately. "Please tell me what happened."
He asked with such sincerity that my heart grieved a little. I didn't want to hurt him. He hadn't done anything wrong. I gave him a little smile.
"I'm sorry Aaron. You haven't done anything wrong. I...well I was rude earlier, I agree and I'm sorry. I don't know what happened to me. Please forgive me." I gave him puppy dog eyes at the end and he smiled.
"Don't be sorry. You must be late for your 'work'." He air quoted 'work'.
"Well, to tell you the truth, I just wanted to go for a drive. That's it.''
"Drive? Alone or is there someone special waiting somewhere?" He asked with a smile and raised eyebrows but somehow that smile didn't reach his eyes.
"Alone." Then he smiled a genuine smile.
"Ok then. Have fun. Drive safe.''
"Thanks. You too have fun."
I turned around and walked in my garage. I got in the car, started it and reversed it out of the garage. Aaron was still standing there and he waved at me. I smiled and did the same and drove off to clear my mind.
I drove aimlessly until I reached some river. I parked the car and walked towards the river. I sat on the bank of the river with my feet in water and cried for some time. Some passerby's gave me weird looks and few asked me if I was okay. I nodded my head and they left.
Almost two hours later I got up and walked back to my car and drove home.