"I hate today already", Josh whispered softly.

The air was cold, goosebumps covered his pale chest when he moved his arm that made the duvet lift off his naked upperbody.
He turned to his left side, pulling up the duvet once more to keep him warm. He tucked his hands underneath his pillow and blinked, slowly getting used to the darkness in the room.

Tyler hadn't woken up yet and faint, regular breaths brushed over his slightly parted lips. He looked so at peace. Comfortable. Warm. Everything Josh felt too, until the second after he woke up.

You know that moment? When you just wake up from a peaceful sleep or a pretty dream, and for the first few seconds the feeling still lingers? Pure bliss, pure calmness... Until reality slaps you in the face. Your heart stutters in every wrong way, your throat closes and your hands tingle. That was exactly what Josh was feeling right now.

He wished he could go back to sleep. He wished he could turn back time. Or maybe even better, just stop the time right now. He would cuddle up to Tyler's warm, sleeping body, until their hearts beat in synch. Never let go. Never. Let. Go.

But reality was that Josh was cold. Cold to the bone and on the edge of tears. There was no duvet, blanket or anything that could warm him up, because reality was always colder. He swore softly when he felt a tear running down his temple, disappearing in to the pillow.

He didn't want to cry. Not now. Not for Tyler to wake up to. He needed to be strong.

After another hour of Josh watching Tyler sleep, the pretty eyes opened slowly. It took only a second for him to focus, a soft smile showing on his lips. "Hi", his voice was raspy and sleepy. "Hey", Josh answered. He tried to smile back, and he did, because everything about the face in front of him made him the happiest guy on the planet. But he had to force it, because the fact that he wouldn't be seeing this face in real life for a long time after today broke his heart a little.

"Don't be sad", Tyler voice broke the silence. His long, lean fingers ran over Josh's jaw, before resting behind his ear, pulling his face closer. Josh shifted, dragging his pillow along, closer to Tyler. He didn't answer. He didn't know what to say.

Tyler's fingers played with the curls in his neck, sending soft shivers down his spine. "I don't want you to go", Josh admitted so softly the air barely moved. He avoided Tyler's gaze, it was too intense.
Tyler swallowed thickly. "I know... I'll miss you so, so much. I wish I... I could take you with me." His voice sounded croaky, emotions running through it. "Soon. Soon I will." He added to that before sliding his other hand between Josh's face and the pillow.
He pulled him closer, his thumbs drawing soothing circles on Josh's jaw.

"We'll make it through, okay?" Tyler stated, not really knowing how to soothe Josh, and himself. Josh gave a small nod before Tyler pecked a loving, small kiss on his nose.

Tyler sighed, letting go of Josh's face after a few more minutes. "We have to get up now, I can't be late." He sat up, and shivered when the duvet slid down to his waist. Josh shivered too.

Tyler turned towards Josh, who hadn't found the strenght to get up yet. "Are you sure you wanna drive me up there? I could just get a cab you know... And you cab stay here. Warm. Safe."

Josh shook his head. "No, I'm driving you." He got up immediatly. "Wanna be with you for as long as I can today." He added to that, softly. Tyler smiled. "Good."

*

Only another 30 minutes to go, the airport already showing up at the roadsigns. "Are you excited 'bout it?" Tyler shrugged. "I guess. I'm nervous. It'll get better once the first one is done, I hope."

Josh got a hold of Tyler's hand, squeezing it gently. "You'll be amazing. Because you are. They'll love you. You didn't sell out every show for nothing, Ty." They both stared down the road for a while. Miles and minutes disappearing, coming closer to their 'break up'.

*

"Allright mister superstar, you arrived at your destination", Josh joked when he had parked his car and they climbed out. Tyler just took a deep breath and reached for one of the two large suitcases. Josh grabbed the other one, before reaching for Tyler's hand. Together they walked into the airport, departures.

The sky was beautifully blue, the sun was shining at its brightest, but there was nothing that could lift Josh's mood. He was terrified. Scared to let Tyler go, even while he knew he had to.

Tyler was a star abroad. His music on top of the charts. And now, he was facing his first headline tour. 6 shows in Australia, 17 in Europe and then 6 in Asia. He'd be gone for about 8 weeks. 8 weeks. Now, Josh knew people would call him a whimp for being so upset about it. People had to deal with a lot more. But to Josh those 8 weeks felt like an eternity.
8 weeks without his supportsystem. 8 weeks without his backup. 8 weeks without the love of his live, because he had his job at home. They were not in a relationship fase (yet) where he could just quit and travel with him. So he would be home. And Tyler would be off, doing amazing things. Without him.
Honestly? Other than just missing his best friend, his lover, his lifeline, he was scared Tyler would forget about him. He would meet so many amazing people. Famous. Handsome. Rich. He doubted why Tyler would stay with him. He wouldn't even be surprised, or angry, if Tyler would find someone else. Just sad. So heartbroken and sad.

"Don't worry Josh", Tyler suddenly broke through Josh's thoughts. Josh looked up to his enchanting brown eyes, realizing they apperantly reached their destination. "I won't forget about you. I definitely won't fall for someone else. I won't leave you. I'll be back for you, okay? Don't ever doubt it." Tyler had just read his mind.

"Okay." Josh answered softly before pulling Tyler in for a crushing hug. His fingers buried in the thick brown fluff, trying to remember the feeling forever. Through his nose he inhaled the pure sweet scent of his boyfriend. "I'll miss you. But I hope you have an amazing time", Josh whispered.

Tyler gently pulled away out of the hug. "I'll miss you too. And I will." He glanced at his watch. "I have to go now..." Josh nodded, Tyler smiled softly. "Come on, give me a kiss", Tyler demanded.

Josh smiled before pressing his lips on Tyler's, his hands in the boy's neck. It was as sweet, as passionate as a simple kiss could get. He pulled away. "No, a real one", Tyler grinned. "It's all I have for the next two months." Josh frowned. "What...?" He asked before Tyler's hands pulled Josh's head closer and lips pressed against his again. When he felt Tyler's tongue slide against his lips he hesitantly pulled back.

"We're in the middle of thousands of people, it's not-."
"Don't care, they can look away if they don't like it", Tyler cut him off, before connecting lips again. Slowly Josh parted his lips, his tongue immediatly meeting Tyler's. He drowned himself in the taste, the feeling before eventually one of them had to break the kiss for air. He rested his forehead on Tyler's when he took a deep breath.

"Okay. This is it then."
Tyler nodded and reluctantly grabbed both handles of the suitcases. Josh took a step back. "You go kick some ass babe." Tyler looked up, placing a last soft kiss on Josh's cheek.
"I'll be back before you know it."
"Yeah."
"Love you.."
"I love you too, Ty."

Tyler started walking towards the gates, turning one last time.
"Bye, babe!" He yelled over the crowd.
"Goodbye", Josh yelled back before Tyler disappeared behind the gates, out of sight.