Burn it down, brick by brick. Made in 2006
Lost and found, losing grip, I needed this
Question me not, for I gave up everything.
Forget me not, cause I've not forgotten what this means.

Strip me down, tear me apart, you'll find one theme left.
No sign of stopping till my veins rust.
Strip me down, tear me apart, you'll find one thing left.
I fucking know where I came from.

...And nothing can replace those lessons learned,
As I stood with my brothers on the side of the road.
Woah, no longer haunted by the skeletons.
Woah, no longer haunted by the past.

For so long, it's all I've known
I'm crossing over the undertow.
For so long no one was listening
Determined to make their deaf ears ring.
To make their deaf ears ring.

Miles repeat. My worst enemy... is me.
But then 4 soon became 6 to shatter the canvas
Handed nothing. Loss, pulling the strings
Outlived the dead trends united by distance

For so long, it's all I've known
I'm crossing over the undertow.
For so long no one was listening
Determined to make their deaf ears ring.

I've been to hell and back, with no promise of return.
So I made friends with fire, to keep from getting burned.
No money, no sleep. Dedication
10 years on the road this is sacred.
And when I'm facing a wall, I do not quit.
...Cause if you mean it, you will make it.

Pulled apart in a world so demanding.
I'm still here, still standing
I've sweat blood from Stockholm to Scranton
Still here, still standing.

You can always rinse the surface, but the stain will remain.

For so long, it's all I've known
I'm crossing over the undertow.
For so long no one was listening
I did my time.

You live, you learn, you defy the terms, but this house will be my home.
Beguiled, betrayed, it's the price we pay, as trust will be our tomb.

If you mean it, you'll make it...

It's been a long ass time since I last listened to this song and fuck, it never fails to be literally fucking epic and one of my favourite MIW songs. 'If you mean it, you will make it' has always resonated with me. Also, someone on insta messaged me earlier, someone I had seen only once a few years ago at a best friend's birthday party but also someone who I once talked to ALOT. He literally messaged me and said something along the lines of its cool to see me pursuing my writing the way I am, and that made me really fucking happy.

It kinda made me realise that I should have more faith in it, because I really don't. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I have very, very little faith in my writing. Like today, I actually was genuinely thinking of straight up deleting Murderous Love Story because the latest chapter felt like a literal mess and way too much happened and its straying so far off course and I just could bare to continue it really.

This year though, I'm gonna try to have a little more faith in my writing. If I can't like myself, I at least have to have faith in my writing, and also my music. I've finally picked up the guitar again, and when I played it for the first time in literal years in new years eve, I felt so happy; like I found something that was missing or something. It made me realise just how much I loved playing, even though I was absolute shit at it lol.

Anywho, that's enough of my sorry ass ranting heh