I stare at the blank screen in my hands, unsure what I want.

Do I wish to see your name following that little notification?

Do I crave that apology and love confession?

Or do I want your ignorance to put an end to my pain?

I tell myself that I no longer care.

You're gone.

What could have been, will never be.

I tell myself that I've accepted that.

I've convinced myself that I've released the idea of me and you...

Until I see your name on my phone.

I see the stories you share on social media.

And like red ashes after a soft blow of air,

Hope flares again.

My heart is lit anew. Aflame.

One simple picture.

One simple smile and I start daydreaming again.

I dream of the ways we might reunite.

I fill my head with fantasies (typical writer).

It becomes harder and harder to ground myself.

But deep down, I know that you are still many miles away.

And so, I go back.

I revisit your social media accounts with greater attention.

I study every picture with the faintest hope that I might see something I don't like.

The strange hope of seeing another woman by your side.

The hope that something might finally destroy this irrational hope.

The hope that I can finally start moving on.

I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve.

Take it.

Break it.

I am leaving it at your mercy.

Destroy the hope that lingers in my beating chambers.

Steal the hope to which I cling with desperate fingers.

I cannot move on without first knowing that all hope is lost.

Please.

Break me.

Destroy me.

Shatter my heart in a millions pieces,

So that I may rebuild it.

To rebuild a heart that no longer bleeds with the empty darkness of your absence.

Break these ties, once and for all, so that I can start anew.

So, that I may start healing.