Letting go of a person you loved can be crushing. It requires great strength, and even when you think you've finally let go, the lingering sense of loss comes about.

     Part of them will always be yours. They will always be a part of your memories.

     Memories are not easily erased. Thoughts not easily redirected.

     Most of the time, the most difficult thoughts are the visions of the future we could have built with a person.

      The most difficult thoughts are fantasies and dreams that never received the chance to come to life.

     Sometimes it's harder to let go of the idea you created of a person.

      I'm guilty of this in particular. I'm such a dreamer that sometimes it difficult for me to determine whether I'm genuinely in love with a person or in love with the idea of the person I want them to be.

     Sometimes I wonder why a certain situationship was so hard to let go.

     We barely knew each other. Our conversations were short because of the language barrier. We only lived in the same town for a few months. We only stepped foot in the same room on a handful of occasions.

      Still...Months later, he still crosses my mind. I can't help but wonder where we'd be today if either one of us had made a move. I can't help but imagine welcoming reunions. I keep fantasizing... Even when he's gone. And I realize that's because while he physically moved on, the part of him that lived solely in my head is still here. Still here, randomly flicking a light of hope.

      Sometimes I think that I had so much hope for an amazing future with him, that it still lives inside of me because I never got a breakup to extinguish it. It's difficult to move on from something that never really started. How can an end come without a beginning? 

     As I begin to realize that most of these lingering feelings stem from the idea of the person I thought him to be, it is becoming easier to let it go.

      Ideas are not set in stone. This ideal I held of him, can be transformed into something new.

     I can still dream of dancing in the rain. Dream of shared glances that speak a thousand words. Dream of first dances...

      But rather than envision him by my side during these fantasies, my ideal can be nameless.

     I never want to stop dreaming. I am a romantic at heart. It would be a great struggle to stop romanticizing the simplest of interactions.

    But for the sake of my heart, I know that a healthy balance of dreaming and reality is important.