I spent my childhood waiting for romance to add that special sparkle to my life.

     I wanted so desperately to love and be loved by someone.

     I wanted to live the stories I always read about.

     I criticized myself for my lacking ability to develop a crush.

     I thought something was wrong with me.

     I wanted so bad to feel normal.

     I wanted to grow romantic feelings for at least one person...

     Careful what you wish for.

      Having a crush is so overrated.

     But if I get any more butterflies, I will vomit.

     There's nothing cute about it.

     My cheeks and jaw hurt from smile.

     I feel ill.

     I'm starting to believe that I'm having an allergic reaction.

     My throat swells.

     My palms grow sweaty.

     My legs shake.

     I can't breathe.

     I felt like my chest might explode,

     Heart pounding in my ears.

     My tongue feels heavy,

     I can't speak.

     I'm all too aware of my body.

     Too aware of the skin that brushes against his.

     What am I allergic to?

     Is it his cologne?

     His body wash or shampoo?

     It can't be,

     Considering a simple text message has me swaying on my feet.

     Do these feelings ever get better?

     When does this crushing weight of having a crush turn to ease and ecstasy?

      Am I simply overwhelmed because this is new to me? Because I'm not accustomed to feelings of the such?

      Is this how everybody feels?