They say that the feeling of being in love fades for everyone. Countless scientists explain that love is chemical related and that the ecstasy of falling in love, no matter your protests, will always have an expiration date. They say that you can love someone your entire life, but that you cannot be in love with them forever, because the chemicals fade.

      I remember my science teacher talking about this in high school. Despite his love for science, he denied this proclamation, because he claimed to very much still be in love with his wife of many years. He claimed to still feel those giddy jitters and butterflies that experts say go away.

      While I used to zone out in class, I remember paying close attention to his words. I couldn't help but pay attention to the passion in his voice. The more he spoke, the more I thought that maybe he was still in love because he cared to keep getting to know his wife.

      He mentioned something about seeing her skate for the first time as they tried to teach their son to play hockey. Despite their years together, he had yet to see her skate, and the laughter she howled from her clumsiness, played with his heart strings. He felt like his 17 year-old self did on their first date. And I concluded then, that he still felt those emotions, because he was falling in love with different parts of her. He was falling in love all over again every time they tried something new.

     He kept the fire burning, by trying and learning new things about and with her.

     I understand that when you've been with someone for years, it often feels like you know everything about them. It feels like you have nothing to talk about. You love and care for them, but that giddy feeling is long gone. Romance is dead and you might start to feel like you're just roommates.

      You've stopped tending to the fire.

Starting a fire can be difficult. Sometimes there's too much wind or not enough resources. Sometimes you're lucky and have a match in your pocket, while other times you're stranded and have to use the old-school method. And some people, partially true in my case, have a heat intolerance, and don't build that kind of fire. (Let me tell you, I have a damn hard time trying to start a fire. Most of the time I don't even have the interest. No pyromaniac here).

      Once the fire is started, we feel that thrill. We feel pride and warmth. We think the hardest part is over with, and a smile paints our face.

      But maintaining the fire is also a time and effort consuming thing. No fire can burn without being fed. And sometimes we have the extra struggle of maintaining it in a downpour.

      Maybe you don't care about maintaining it. Maybe you want the fire to fizzle out because you're leaving soon.

     Maybe you've realized that you've chosen the wrong fire pit.

     But if you've grown to care for the fire, and you plan on keeping it alive and bright, you need to feed it. You need to ensure it has sufficient oxygen and burning material.

     There are many ways to keep the fire burning.

     Make time for date night. Try something new. Go to a new restaurant. Buy a new outfit to surprise your partner. Find creative date ideas online. Take lessons together, such as dance, language, cooking, etc. There are so many things that can be done to try to keep the passion alive. We just need to acknowledge it's need and find time for it.

      But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, a fire does just burn out. Sometimes the conditions aren't favourable and it doesn't have room to burn. Sometimes you've run out of wood. Sometimes you need to try again.

      And other times, it needs to be put out before it get's out of control. Sometimes society creates such a sense of a burning need to feel the warmth of a fire, that we let it grow and grow, even when we know it's starting to cause desctruction. Even when it burns our skin and promises to leave scars, we keep it alive because we feel that we have nothing without it. We forget that some fires aren't worth burning.

      If your fire is worth burning, don't forget to tend to it. Not only that, but make sure it serves you too. If the fire is burning but you're still cold, then it doesn't have much use. You need to feel the warmth and give it back.

     Give and take. Bask in the warmth and reward it for being alive.