"That's the last of the stuff from the car," I called, struggling through the door carrying a box almost too wide to fit through the frame.

"Okay sweetie, we're in the kitchen," my mum called back.

As I dumped the box onto the wooden floor of my new living room, I headed into the kitchen to find my mum and Charlotte already busy assembling flat pack furniture. Charlotte's ever-growing bump was getting in the way as she knelt on all fours over the printed instruction sheet.

"Screw H4 needs to go into the last hole, Debbie," she instructed. "No, sorry, I mean screw H3 goes in the second hole, then H4 goes in the third."

The confusion caused my mum to curse under her breath from behind the table she currently had balanced precariously up on its side, half-built and looking ready to fall flat on her head at any minute. Quickly rushing over to grab hold of the large square of wood before I witnessed the accidental death of my mother, crushed to death in my own kitchen, she dramatically blew her fringe away from her forehead as she looked up at me.

"Three gorgeous women like us, and not a man to call our own between us to help out with this nonsense," she quipped, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey!" shrieked Charlotte, clutching her chest in mock horror. "My man will be home in less than a week, speak for yourselves."

Easing herself up from the floor as she supported her back and winced, Charlotte could have probably told me the exact amount of time left until Alex returned down to the very hour, minute and second.

She swore that they hadn't planned for her to fall pregnant so quickly. But they had somehow managed it during the precious week they'd together between the boys' UK tour ending back in May and the international one kicking off.

I hadn't seen Noah since that last, beautiful night we'd shared. With Charlotte moving into her and Alex's new place as soon as term finished in July, I'd gone back to stay with my mum until I found a flat of my own. If only I'd known that would have taken me nearly six months, I'd have thought of a different plan.

Noah did text me a couple of times before The Ambition headed off to take over the world, but neither of us made the effort to go and see the other. It was almost as if it would have been too painful. Everything was so perfect the last time we'd spent the night together. We could have easily pretended it was still that way for a few precious days, but he would have only been ripped away from me again.

We managed to speak fairly regularly to start with, even with the boys hopping from country to country as the international leg of the tour began. Noah seemed to have gotten over his phobia of phones and would regularly wake me up at all hours of the night, making it impossible to be mad at him when he'd make the same excuse about time zones not changing the way he felt about me. But, as the tour dragged on, work with PCJ picked up, and Charlotte grew bigger by the day, the calls grew less frequent.

Life back at mum's house also became trickier to manage once the winter term began. The commute alone left me exhausted every day, and my assignments from PCJ had been rolling in thick and fast meaning I need to be in London more often than not. Plus, having learnt to live my life independently, being back under her roof caused us to bicker over stupid things like switching lights off and unloading the dishwasher.

On top of everything else, Charlotte needed help. The trial was moving forward and her relationship with her parents was still critically fragile. To try and support her, in early October we made the decision that I would temporarily move into her and Alex's new place. Just in time to celebrate my nineteenth birthday together, sat in our pyjamas, sharing a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne and an entire chocolate cake between us.

Even with the noise, smog, and unfriendly attitudes around every corner, being back in London felt like I could breathe again. I threw myself into my work and finding a place of my own for when Alex eventually returned.

Kris hadn't been too bothered by my decision not to live with him. He was so loved up with his new man from The Ambition's UK crew that we hadn't really seen much of him at all - except for the random days he'd burst into action buying clothes and toys for the baby, and fussing over Charlotte, before heading back to his own new-found domestic bliss.

By the time the leaves started to fall from the trees and winter began its slow penetration of the city, contact with Noah had become almost non-existent. I knew via Alex that he'd been true to his word and had been going straight back to the hotels after every gig, rather than joining James and Mikey in their nightly ritual of pointing out which fans they wanted brought backstage by security.

It's not that I didn't miss him, or care about him, but my own life had become so busy that I'd kind of just learnt to cope without him.

It was fun to see The Ambition's career taking off from the other side of the world, though. My stomach still filled with unwanted butterflies at the sight of Noah performing on various TV shows and playing up to his new heartthrob status in interviews. Every time I caught his green eyes peering out from another website, TV show or magazine, I couldn't help but smile at the memories of how I'd studied that face, inch-by-inch as he slept, and kissed every part of his beautiful, full mouth.

He deserved his success, and I was happy for him. Genuinely happy for him. But, for the first time in a long time, I was focusing on my own happiness, too. I was building a life, a good life, with or without him being part of it again some day.

The handwritten note dad had left on the day he died had contained one promise. Even though he was gone, he would always be looking out for me and mum. The account he had set up for me ensured that was true.

Combined with the retainer fee from PCJ, I had been able to do what most people can only dream of these days. I was a homeowner. In London. It may have only been a two-bedroom flat in a vibrant part of West London, but it was mine. On the day I got the keys, I cried as soon as I stepped through the front door. But, for once, they didn't feel like tears of sadness over losing him. They were tears of joy; I knew how proud he would have been.

And now here we were; me, my mum and my best friend. Building my new life piece by flat-packed piece. Just the three of us, with nothing more than few Allen keys and some impossible instructions.

When we'd finally managed to construct something that resembled a bed, mum and Charlotte cleared away the rubbish and pizza boxes into black bags in the living room, while I threw together the duvet and sheets.

Pure white cotton, of course, I thought, smiling to myself. Just like Noah would have chosen.

"We're going to get going now, Abs," my mum called from the doorway, as I flung myself backwards onto my new mattress.

"I'll drop Charlotte home and call you tomorrow morning, okay?" she added, as she walked over and bent down to place a big kiss on my forehead.

"Close the door on your way out of my house," I smirked, causing her to jokingly slap my leg as she laughed.

"I'm proud of you, Abi bear," she said, smiling.

"I'm proud of me too, Mum," I smiled back.

After an hour or so alone in the new environment, the quiet became too consuming. I thought I'd really enjoy living on my own but, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I felt lonely.

I rolled over to reach down and grab my phone from the floor. I hadn't got around to buying any bedroom furniture yet.

Scrolling through social media, it wasn't long until I stumbled across a post about The Ambition. Clicking on the video, my heart dropped as I watched 15,000 Japanese fans singing 'Happy Birthday' to Noah. The sound filled the arena as he stood on stage, clutching one hand over his heart with the other held high up in the air, conducting their rousing performance as his guitar hung low across his torso.

He'd mentioned his birthday to me before, but it had been so far away I'd never really paid it much more thought. Now, it all came flooding back.

"December the fourteenth; one month, twice as many presents," he had joked when I'd quizzed him over dinner at the Shangri-La.

As I smiled to myself, the memories of that night made me miss him. More than I had for a long time. Clicking the video closed, I typed out a text without thinking.

Happy Birthday Mr Worldwide! Hope you're living it up wherever you are right now x

I waited for a response, but it didn't come. My heart growing heavier with each minute that passed, I eventually threw my phone down onto the bed and headed into the bathroom to christen my new shower.

As I washed the dirt and dust of the day from my body, I pulled out a razor from my wash bag and began to defuzz from top to toe. I may have been slacking just a little in the grooming department since winter had begun its arrival, but I wanted to feel good slipping into my new, fresh sheets for the first time. Maybe I could even have a go at... doing things... to myself again. It's not like there was any risk of my mum or Charlotte walking in on me now, after all.

The thought of it made a tiny cluster of butterflies appear in my stomach as I dried off and slipped into my silky short pyjamas. I'd never really attempted it properly before, but Noah had shown me how amazing my body could feel. I'd been so uptight with sorting out the flat and finishing all my jobs for PCJ, maybe it might even do me some good.

It won't feel half as amazing as the way he touches you, my subconscious piped up, quickly stamping out any small fire that may have started to stir.

Braiding my wet hair loosely to one side, I switched off the light and flopped into bed. Picking up my phone to set the alarm, I almost yelped when I saw Noah's name flash up on the home screen.

Sorry, just off 13hr flight - not the best birthday! Wish you'd been with me to celebrate. Been thinking about you a lot. I still miss you x

I felt like a giddy schoolgirl, studying every word before carefully constructing my reply. The same tingling grew within my stomach as it had done the first few times he'd even stood close to me. It was like I could sense him in the room, and I realised I wished that were true. More than anything.

I miss you too, a lot right now. Would have loved to celebrate with you x

A few minutes later, he replied.

How's the new place? Alex said you moved in. Maybe you could give me the address for a catch up when I'm back at Christmas? ;)

Giggling quietly to myself as I sent him a screenshot of my new address pinpointed on Google Maps, I followed it up with a tongue-in-cheek message of my own.

When you come back riddled with STIs from all your fans, you mean? ;p

His reply pinged back within seconds.

Not even touched another person since you. Six whole months. I told you, I'm all yours x

Sighing, I typed my response quickly.

I wish you were all mine right now, feeling very lonely and Noah-less :(

At least thirty painstaking minutes passed without a reply. That was it, I'd blown apart a fresh channel of communication between us. After all the focus I'd put into making my own life while he was away, I'd gone and ruined it all by being too needy.

Just as my eyes were starting to feel heavy in the darkness, the bright flash of my screen lit the room up with a blue wash of colour.

Forgot to say, 13hr flight was to the UK. Last tour dates postponed. Alex kept it secret from Charlotte but we're back early :)

What?!? I replied within about one second, my heart leaping halfway into my throat as I sat bolt upright in my new bed.

Yep, look outside...

I felt like an idiot as I walked over to the large, white wooden sash window. I was yet to put any curtains up, so Charlotte had ingeniously fashioned a temporary cardboard shutter from one of the empty flat-pack boxes.

Peeling it tentatively away from the glass, I looked down onto the wide, empty street. The crisp night was lit beautifully by the silver light of the moon, and a gentle dusting of snow covered the road outside my house. It all looked very Dickensian and dream-like. I'm sure it would have made the perfect setting for a romantic reunion in a Richard Curtis movie.

But, this wasn't Hollywood. And Noah wasn't there.

The disappointment cut straight through my heart; clean down the middle. Did he think he was being funny? Why would he have built my hopes up like that for no reason?

Blinking as a bright set of headlights suddenly rounded the corner, I stepped back from the window as my eyes adjusted to their glare. Peering back down to the street below, my focus came to rest on a familiar head of dirty blonde hair in the back seat of the taxi, leaning across to pay the driver.

I'm pretty sure all of my vital functions stopped working at once as he stepped out of the car. With his familiar brown suede jacket slung over his arm, his pure white T-shirt made him glow like an actual angel against the snow. Slowly, he lifted his face up towards the address I'd sent him a screenshot of.

As he spotted me standing by the first floor window, in the same pyjamas he'd always enjoyed removing from my body, the one-sided smile that made his dimple pop began to spread across his face.

Even through the glass, I could feel him. Somewhere deep within my soul, I could feel his every heartbeat, still in time with my own.

As I watched him glance down again at his phone, shining blue in his hand, mine buzzed in my palm.

Surprise ;)

As my reply shot instantly back to his screen, he raised his head again to look up at me. This time, his smile was full and wide, his teeth gleaming against the dark night and the bright snow. He was still perfect, still my Noah.

Welcome home x