"I felt really bad leaving you up here alone with her," smiled Alex as he stepped into the room.

"It's okay, she's passed out now so I was just taking a look at these books here," I replied as naturally as possible, glancing down at the desk to back up my story.

"Books?" Alex laughed, "There's a party going on down there! You go and get back to it, I'll stay with Charlotte from here."

Smiling as I agreed with his plan, I thanked Alex before heading out of Noah's room and back downstairs to find Kris, who wasn't hard to pick out in the middle of what was now a crowded living room.

As I'd expected, he was now dancing, surrounded by a group of girls showing off their best moves as most of the guys stood around the edge of the room. The few that had been dragged into the midst of it were being treated as nothing more than human poles; being 'seductively' grinded upon by their dance partner as the bass-heavy R&B blasted out through a full PA system set up in the lounge.

Not feeling the fully clothed orgy that seemed to be happening, I headed out into the kitchen to get another drink. Pouring myself a glass of whatever the hell cocktail had now been mixed up into pitchers, I spotted Holly and Ben sat down the end of the long wooden kitchen table, playing some kind of drinking game with a group of faces I didn't recognise. Taking a gulp of the disgusting mixture, I went to head over to them, before I was stopped in my tracks by the sight of Noah coming in through the patio doors.

I realised I could smell him from the other side of the kitchen. How could that even be possible? Then I remembered his aftershave was on the wrist I was drinking with, and the image of the plastic wallet packed with money flooded back into my mind.

He looked flustered. Maybe it was just the cold outside, but his cheeks and nose were flushed slightly pink and I couldn't help thinking how cute it made him look. I was staring, no doubt about it, as he removed his jacket revealing nothing but a grey T-shirt underneath. The short sleeves were rolled up slightly, revealing his toned, tattooed biceps. I officially couldn't take my eyes off him at that moment, even as he started to make a beeline straight towards me.

"Why did you come here tonight, Abi?" he said flatly, standing only centimetres away from me. "I told you I'm bad news for someone like you, you shouldn't be here."

"What makes you think I'm here for you?" I snorted, narrowing my eyes at the return of his arrogance again. "I'm just here to have a good time with my friends, thank you very much."

"Oh right, and where are these friends right now? Because all I can see is you stood on your own getting wasted."

"Actually, I was just about to head over to join Holly and Ben," I said, gesturing towards the couple, laughing loudly together as they continued their rowdy game at the kitchen table.

"I've only just come in here from the living room, where most people are right now. They're having fun, you should try it sometime," I sneered. "And, before that, I was with Charlotte and Alex up in your room, so don't even try to make me feel like a loser."

"You were in my room?" he asked, his voice almost a growl.

"Yeah, and it's just as weird and soulless as you are, so I wasn't shocked."

"Why were you in my room? Who told you to go in there?"

"Charlotte's sick, so Alex and I were helping her out in your bathroom."

"Someone's being sick in my bathroom? What the fuck?"

Turning his back on me, he strode off forcefully towards the stairs. Maybe it was instinct to protect my friend kicking in, but I swiftly followed him, struggling to keep up as he took the stairs two at a time.

Bursting into his bathroom, Noah looked physically disgusted by the sight of Charlotte curled up on the floor and Alex smoking a cigarette out of the window.

"Get the fuck out, now," he said, his voice authoritative but strangely calm.

"Come on, man, look at the state of her," Alex replied in his warm Irish accent, as he nonchalantly flicked his cigarette out of the window. "You want me to drag her out by her ankles?"

"If you must, then yeah. You know I don't like people coming in here."

"Noah, man, seriously? She's passed out. I shouldn't be smoking up here I admit, sorry about that, but we're not getting in your way so just go down and join the party."

"I'm not in the mood for a party," Noah replied, with a deadpan glare at his bandmate.

"Nomeo," Alex laughed, "You're twenty-one years old, you've got a cracking face on that big head of yours, and currently a house full of willing young things desperate to have a good time. What's wrong with you?"

As I hung back behind the bathroom doorway to listen, Alex's words confused me. Had he really just said Noah was twenty-one? Maybe I had just heard him wrong?

No, I thought, he definitely said twenty-one, that's not an easy number to mishear.

"I said I'm not in the mood, Alex. I've just finished work and I'm knackered," Noah continued from the bathroom. "If you don't move her into your room, I'll throw her over my shoulder and get her out of here myself. You wouldn't want my hands all over her now, would you?"

There was malice in his voice that shocked me. The way he had referred to himself touching Charlotte as though it was a bad thing. A threat. Maybe these two had bad history between them when it came to women? After all, Alex had said earlier they'd known each other for years. And, as I'd just found out, Noah had been alive for more years than I'd originally thought.

"Alright, chill man, I'll move her now," Alex snapped, his tone taking on an agitated edge as he bent down to scoop Charlotte up and move her out of the bathroom.

Shaking his head at me as I ducked out of the way to let him past, he paused to whisper, "Told you he's a weirdo, that one," before heading out of Noah's bedroom with Charlotte dangling across his arms, leaving the door open wide behind him.

Quick as a flash, Noah ran from the bathroom to firmly push it closed. As he turned around to lean on the door, running both hands through his hair as he groaned loudly, he spotted me still stood outside his bathroom. He must have not even noticed I was there the whole time.

Arrogant prick.

"Abi, I didn't realise you were up here," he said blankly, before reaching for the door handle again. "Maybe it's best that you leave now, too."

Incensed by whatever the hell made Noah think he could talk to me like a piece of discarded chewing gum, my words came out much louder than I had planned.

"No, fuck you!" I spat. "You have done nothing but blow hot and cold with me since we met and I'm getting sick of it. You think you can just barge into my house whenever you like, so now I'm doing it to you."

"Okay, fine, I'll leave then," he replied, turning to place his hand around the door handle.

"Why do you have such a big wad of money hidden in your bathroom?" I blurted out, before my brain had a chance to stop my mouth running away.

Freezing on the spot, Noah turned back around to face me, his green eyes burning straight through me like lasers.

"I don't even want to know why you were snooping through my stuff, but believe it or not I tend to get paid cash-in-hand in my line of work. Is that a problem for you?"

Thinking about it, I did feel a bit stupid for asking. I already knew that most gigs were paid cash; I'd done a few myself back when I was at college and had enjoyed the feeling of hard money in my hand afterwards. Plus, even worse, he now knew I'd been looking through his things.

"But why keep it in your bathroom?" I muttered.

"Because I don't normally have batshit crazy girls rooting around in my toilet roll stash," he replied, a small smile forming faintly at the corners of his mouth.

Fighting the urge to smile myself, my voice dropped as I continued, "But you do have plenty of girls up here, don't you? That blonde woman you were with earlier for example."

"She's just an acquaintance of mine," he replied as he moved across the room to sit down on the end of his bed. "And anyway, I won't be seeing her again from now on."

"Dump you, did she?" I said sarcastically.

"Not quite, I just told her to never contact me again. I want to close the book on this current part of my life so I can focus on my music."

Was this Noah opening up to me? I didn't want to push it, so paused a couple of seconds before coming out with a response.

"What do you mean?" I asked gently, still too unsure of what was happening to move away from my spot by the bathroom.

"The way I've been living for the last couple of years. I think I'm done with it all."

I edged forward slightly, keeping my eyes trained on him for any reactions telling me to back away.

"What do you mean you're done with it all?" I asked nervously.

Raising his head to look at me, a concerned expression spread quickly across Noah's face.

"Shit, not like that, Abi. I didn't mean 'done with it' like, done with it. Like what you might have thought. I'm sorry, I didn't think about how that might sound."

He was fumbling over his words, the memory of what I had told him about my dad clearly flooding back.

I laughed softly. "Don't worry, I didn't automatically assume you meant it like that. I don't go around worrying that everyone I care about is going to kill themselves."

After a few seconds silence, he spoke almost in a whisper.

"You care about me?"

"Of course I do, even are you are the most confusing person I've ever met in my life," I said, rolling my eyes in exasperation.

"But I've been a prick to you. I had hoped you'd hate me by now."

"Why? Why one earth would you want to make someone hate you?" I asked, taking another couple of steps towards him and sitting down on the floor at his feet.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before answering. "Because I'm scared of what I might do to you. You're so naive - in a good way - I don't think you'd be able to cope with the shit I've got hiding in my cupboard."

I almost laughed out loud thinking about how, just a short while earlier, I'd actually been in his cupboard having a good snoop around. Luckily, I managed to stop the thought from reaching my face, and reached out to touch his knee.

"I'm stronger than you think, Noah."

"I'm not sure you're strong enough," he whispered back.

As I sat looking up at him, he appeared vulnerable. There was sadness in those beautiful eyes that made my heart heavy, and I wanted nothing more than to rise up onto my knees, pull him towards me and try to kiss the pain away.

"We'll never know unless you tell me what there is to be scared of," I coaxed.

"There's no point now is there, though?" he sighed, "I've screwed it up with you already. But I'm making changes, finding better ways to live, focusing on the band and trying to write again."

With a faint smile, he added, "You inspired me on that part."

I was at a loss. I didn't know what to say without either making myself seem like a desperate fool, or making him feel as though I was pushing too hard.

"Glad to be of service," I responded, copying his imaginary hat-tip move from the first night he walked me home. Thankfully, the faint laugh that left his lips assured me that he still considered me an ally, not an enemy.

"Can we still have a go at being friends?" I asked cautiously.

"Friends like we almost were the other night you mean?" he replied, with a hint of the smirk that made my knees weak creeping across his face.

"No, I mean proper friends," I laughed.

"Honestly, I don't think I can. You have this effect on me. It's like a magnet or something. Every time I'm around you I want more - I want you - and I know I'd only end up disappointing you."

"You only want me because I'd be a conquest," I sighed. "I'd be the one disappointing you, if things ever went that far."

"Don't be ridiculous," he snapped. "Look at you! Only an absolute idiot could be disappointed to be with you."

"You mean like my ex?" I snorted.

"Exactly like your ex," he replied. He was waving his hands around as he spoke, his anger towards a guy he'd never even met clear to see.

"That bastard told you all kinds of shit that's not true and made you believe it. I could see it in you from the first day we met. You've been damaged by him and you just don't see this incredible thing, like some kind of light or something, that shines out of you."

As I said nothing, he rested both his hands on top of mine, still placed on his knee.

"I wish I'd met you years ago," he said softly. "Before he did what he did to you. Before your dad did what he did to you. I could have protected you from it all. And maybe you could have saved me from myself."

I wanted to hold him tight against my chest as the remorse washed across his face, but I knew it would be wrong.

"Unless you tell me what's so fucked up about you then how could I ever save you, Noah?" I asked, the emotion starting to crackle in my voice.

Letting out a huge breath, he removed his hands from mine and moved back to sit back against the headboard with one leg curled under him.

"Sit," he commanded, gesturing towards the end of the bed. "It's a long story and your ass will go numb down there on the floor," he added with a smile.

Obeying his instruction, I climbed up off the floor and took a seat, cross-legged, at the opposite end of his crisp, white, king-size bed.

"I've never had a girl in bed with me like this before," he smirked. "I think I'd feel much more comfortable about all this if you just got naked."

"Fuck off!" I laughed, actually relieved to see the reappearance of the cheeky Noah I'd first met.

As his expression grew serious once more, he nervously began to fiddle with his belt buckle, focusing his eyes down on it intently.

"Guess I'll start at the beginning then," he said.