Thanks so much to _SecondJaineration_ for the AMAZING trailer! 

Adena’s POV:

As the bell rang, releasing us from this hell, I walked quietly to my locker at the end of the hall. It was located in a quieter spot which is why I chose it. The school halls were filled with loud yelling and tons of different conversations; making the walk to my locker difficult.

Eventually I made my way through the crowd of students and to my locker.  

When I reached my locker, I rubbed my swollen eyes. I was still upset over the harsh words spoken to me earlier in the bathroom. Opening my locker, I kept my face away from others and put my books into my locker.

It was finally time to go home.

No more having to hide my feelings. I could go home and let it all out in secret; which is how it is always done. A few students passed by me and glanced my way, but I ignored them; just like I always did.

I quickly glanced around to see if anyone was looking. Finding no one, I reached into the deepest part of my locker. As soon as my hands grabbed a hold of the little bottle, I pulled it out and turned it over; making sure it was the right one.  Seeing it was the eye drops, I looked over my shoulder to check for others again.

I lifted my head and squeezed the bottle, dropping a drop into my right eye. I looked around again, seeing a group of students coming down the hall. I stuck my head further into my locker, attempting to place another drop in. As it flew into my left eye, a voice erupted:

“Are you trying to stuff yourself in your own locker?” It startled me so bad I slammed my head against the top of the locker. I quickly dropped the bottle, hiding it back in it’s spot, before pulling my head out and rubbing it.

I turned around and faced Grady, who has a smirk on his face. I glared at him and rubbed my head again.

“For your information, these lockers are really deep and I was trying to reach something when your loud and obnoxious voice scared me and made me bump my head.”

"Don't you mean romantic and smooth?” He replied, sticking up his left eyebrow with a sly smile. I jokingly punched him in the shoulder. Grady Zidek has been a family friend for years. I don’t only consider him to be Quinton’s best friend, but he also is like a brother to me. I grabbed one more book, putting it in my backpack, before zipping it up and closing my locker.

“Time to walk home.” I smiled, starting down the hall. Grady walked with me.

“Where’s your car?” Grady wondered.

“Quinton’s been taking it to go to his football training things after school, so I’ve just been walking home.”

“You know I can just give you a ride home right? Don’t you trust my driving?” I started to laugh, causing Grady to pout. “Well then. You can walk home.”

“I’m getting a little worried about Quinton. I mean he’s always working out. I think he’s going a little overboard,” I said, changing the subject.

“I don’t.”

“Why?” I questioned.

“Wait until you get him at my house! He eats half my pantry every time he comes over.” I couldn’t help but laugh. That was definitely my brother.

“Grady!” Someone called. We stopped and turned around to see Dylan jogging towards us. “Hey man!” He said, doing one of those odd high fives guys give to each other. “I can’t hangout this weekend anymore. Jackie’s dragging me off to some concert with her.”

“It’s fine,” Grady said. I stood there awkwardly for a moment, not sure if I should go and let them talk. Dylan looked to me not even a second later.

“Hey state!” He laughed, referring to the conversation we had in class today. He was one of the last people I wanted to see at this moment. I just smiled and nodded. Dylan seemed hurt I didn’t reply.

“Well, I’ve got to drive this one home!” Grady laughed, sticking an arm around my shoulders.

“Alright, see you guys later than,” he smiled, walking off.

“Well that was...” Grady started to say but I turned around and headed out the doors. “Adena!” He called after me. I was flashing back to how Dylan hadn’t defended me. I walked outside as Grady caught up. “What was that all about?”

“It’s nothing..” I said, shooting him down immediately.

“Is this about your nightmare last night? Was Dylan in it or something?” I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around.

“How did you-”

“Quinton told me. He was worried about you and so am I.” Grady had this pained look in his eyes that saddened me. But I just couldn’t tell him about it. I froze up, my heart stopped, and I began to shake in sadness and anger.

“It’s none of your business...” I said, turning around and walking home. Pushing Grady away seemed to be the only way to get him to stop asking questions.

Why would Quinton tell Grady? My nightmares are my own...I walked up to the house and stormed inside; still angry and hurt.

“I’m home!” I yelled throughout the house. I threw my bag on the floor and started for the stairs. But when I heard noises from the kitchen, I headed that way instead. Curiosity filled me when I saw everyone huddled around mom. The phone was in her hand and excitement lite her face.

“Oh my gosh, Char is coming home! We need to get the house ready. Char is coming in a couple of weeks!” my mother exclaimed.

“Char is coming? Awesome! I can show her my new trophies!” Brooklyn said. A few more choruses of excitement followed, but I didn’t quite understand it. My sister, Charlotte, apparently was coming home from college for some time. Yes, she has been gone for a while, but they wouldn’t be this excited if I came home after a long time.

Anger filled me at my mother’s excitement. I have never received this much attention...and Charlotte isn’t even here! I couldn’t take it any more.

“So, Char is coming?” I asked my mother. She must not have liked my tone for she gave me a look.

“Are you not excited that your sister is coming home after having been gone so long?”

“No, not really. It’s just Char,” my mother stared at me in shock.

“Just Char? Charlotte is the best daughter a mother could ask for. Her life is a success. I haven’t seen you do anything as good as she did.  Maybe you should take a few note from her.” My mother spit the words out in anger. Rage boiled in her eyes and her hands shook in fury.

All I did was hold in the tears. My mother stormed out of the room while I closed my eyes in pain. Brooklyn and Ryan started arguing over who gets to spend time with Char first and who gets to play video games first.

“Just shut up!” Brooklyn snapped. Ryan pushed her back and then she punched him in the shoulder, the two started sending punches back and forth rapidly. Ryan yelled in anger and Brooklyn cried, but kept fighting.

“Guys stop fighting! Chances are mom will decide who gets to be with Char first and you both have had enough time with the video games. Don’t you guys have homework to do?” I attempted to stop their bickering.

“Adena! You aren’t in charge of us. Leave us alone. Why don’t you go cry to mommy about Charlotte.” I glared at her in anger right as Mom walked back in.

“What’s going on? I am in the other room and all I hear is bickering. Adena, what did you do?”

“Me? I didn’t do anything!” I protested. Brooklyn kicked Ryan in the leg and he fell down, screaming bloody murder.

“Dang it, Adena! Go, just go! You're never any help!” I didn’t even blink, I turned around and charged upstairs.  Anger filled my veins quickly. I was angry at my mother for blaming me for this! I hadn't done anything!

I finally reached my room, walked inside, and slammed the door shut. My anger soon turned to sadness. I hated how I always flipped a switch like that.

Why don't they care for me? Why am I the butt of everything? What is wrong with me? Why don't they love me?

Why?

Am I worthless? Am I ugly and stupid? What did I do to deserve this? My siblings treat me like trash. My dad doesn’t care for any of us. My mom hates my guts. Quinton at least cares a little for me. What is wrong with me?

This hurts.

My life hurts. Everything just hurts. Tears managed to slip from my eyes and they rolled down my cheeks as I collapsed onto the floor. What if i'm never good enough? I'm not good enough for my mother; or for my father.

Not even for my family.

All the emotions built up again. I quickly decided what I wanted to do. I wanted to forget. I wanted, even if it was for a short moment, to feel good. I gently grabbed my sleeve, pulling it backwards to reveal the scars that lay there.

I traced my fingers over them.

Oddly, my scars felt like they were apart of me. But they also made me feel ashamed; ashamed of who I was and what I had become. I could feel goosebumps spread up my arms and my fingers begin to cringe. I needed my razor.

Just like I needed to breathe, I needed to cope.

I opened the box, reached in, and grabbed the razor out and looking at it. There was some dry blood on it from the last time I had used it.

I turned the razor over and set it down on my wrist. Slowly, I dragged it across. I could feel the relief again. I could feel the happiness.

Even if it was temporary, it was magnificent.