I don't own anything except any original/own characters and any original plot.

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Christmas Special

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A/n: Heavily based off of the Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode "Halloween IV" because that show is amazing...That is all

~*~

"Attention Avengers! And Merry Christmas Eve."

"Oh Atreya."

"Why does Mr Stark find it necessary to stand on the coffee table when we would pay attention to his words anyways?"

"The last time he did this was when he announced that Pepper made him go sober for a week. Pretty sure he was drunk while making that announcement too."

The Avengers watched in amused interest as Tony created a spectacle on the main living rooms coffee table. A Santa hat was perched atop his head, a sleek wooden box held tightly in his hands. (Y/n) took a long sip from her hot chocolate, the rich taste hitting her tastebuds immediately.

"As I just said, it is Christmas Eve. But, it is also more than that. This is the first Christmas with the majority of the Avengers at the tower. Thor is off doing boring space stuff, and Clint is with his family, but we have the true Avengers here and that's what matters."

"Clint would shoot you if he heard you say that," (Y/n) took another drink from her mug.

"Yeah, and Thor would strike you with lightning," Nat added, feet swinging off the side of her seat.

"Good thing they aren't here then. As I was saying, because of all of us being gathered, I propose a challenge."

"What kind of challenge?" Wanda questioned, obviously intrigued.

"Inside this box is a solid gold medal with Best Avenger inscribed in it. The first person who can steal it from the kitchen counter and keep it in their grasp until midnight, Christmas, will win it."

"Boring," Nat shouted, throwing her head back, "I thought you were better than that Stark."

"And I thought you would say that," Tony shot back, "That's why I have an increased offer. Along with the medal, you would win a week in any one of my vacation homes. All expenses paid for."

Everyone seemed a lot more interested in the heist idea now that Tony brought up a week off. The only two who still weren't hyped was Bruce and Nat, which was to be expected. Nat always loved being lazy around Christmas time, and Bruce knew that the challenge would come with unnecessary stress.

"I'm out," Bruce stated, standing up from his seat on the couch, "All of that seems like a lot of stress and we don't need the Hulk coming out to ruin Christmas. I'll be in the lab."

"I'm out too," Nat stood up as well, "I have a date in the screening room with popcorn and a good Christmas movie. Heists are dumb anyways."

"Party poopers," Tony called out after the two as they entered the elevator. Bruce seemed unbothered, and Nat simply flipped Tony off, "We can still play with five."

"Five? You're playing?" (Y/n) was both surprised, and unsurprised at the same time. She assumed that because Tony came up with the idea he wouldn't take part, but at the same time, she knew there was no way Tony wouldn't join in.

"You bet your alien ass I'm playing. I want a week off and a medal. So, who's in?"

The remaining four each voiced their willingness to join the heist. Tony grinned cheerfully, jumping off of the coffee table with more pep in his step than before. He lifted the box above his head, and ceremoniously placed it on the kitchen counter across from the living room.

"No powers are allowed," Tony turned back to the group, "You can't use Friday for evil either. We must do this through sheer will and determination alone! Godspeed Avengers."

"Steve, I love you, and I'm inviting you on that vacation with me, but I'm going to destroy you," (Y/n) giggled gleefully, kissing Steve's cheek.

While it had never really shown before, (Y/n) took competitions more seriously than she cared to admit. With Varian being destined to be king, (Y/n) had to find other ways to prove herself. Making fast prowess in fighting didn't count because of how peaceful her planet was.

"Interesting relationship," Wanda chuckled, brow raised in amusement.

"Competitiveness runs in my blood. You think my brother and I got along at all times?"

~*~

After deciding that Steve could have the bedroom and (Y/n) would take the living room of their floor, Steve and (Y/n) split up to plan. For Christmas Eve night, it was strangely silent. Vaguely, (Y/n) remembered there was a children's story on Earth about a silent house on Christmas Eve.

Christmas was still a bit of a new concept to (Y/n), even if she had been on Earth for four years. The closest holiday she had to Christmas on her planet was named Jixna. Orveon celebrated the life of the Prophet Falkor, where everyone made delicious food and gave gifts to their loved ones. Even then, it took place over the summer.

Shaking her head to bring her thoughts- quite literally- back down to Earth, (Y/n) focused on the task at hand. She could go through the vents, but there was a chance someone else would do that and it was a bit boring. She couldn't just walk in their and take it either, that would send everyone to come after her.

It was in that moment, that the flashdrive in her purse entered her mind. (Y/n) jumped up, and ran over to the small bench her and Steve kept their shoes under. She dug through a few of the side pockets of her purse until she came upon the small device.

"Friday, can your system send live feeds to everyone in the tower?"

"Yes, as long as they are near a screen. If it is somehow related to the heist, however, I cannot do it. I am under strict orders to not interfere."

"Thank Atreya for SHIELD's hackers then," (Y/n) pulled the access screen off of the wall closest to her, immediately getting lost in a maze of wires, "Nersh."

After pushing the wires away and to the side of the small compartment, (Y/n) spotted a small port at the back. Praying she wouldn't get electrocuted, she stuck the drive in the port, relieved that she found a place she could put it in.

Fury gave her the flash drive for a mission back when SHIELD still existed. It went south, so (Y/n) had to skip using it. (Y/n) completely forgot to give it back to Fury, so it became lost in her purse until then. It was supposed to switch control of a system to (Y/n)'s phone.

(Y/n) winced when she heard Friday shutting down, but stayed calm knowing she would be back on within an hour or two. Pulling out her phone, (Y/n) went to the installed app that would give her control over the entire tower. She tapped the Lock button for the majority of the rooms, save for the few that Bruce and Nat were using. (Y/n) knew that the Avengers would figure out what was happening soon enough.

(Y/n) took the elevator down to the joined level, casually walking to the kitchen. She swiped around a few things on the app, and a livestream started to all the access screens in the tower. She then tapped the camera routing to the living room TV so she could see all of the Avengers reactions.

"I thought about using the vents like Clint would," (Y/n) looked towards the camera in the corner of the room. From the TV, she could hear all of the other players yelling in protest, "But, royals do have a flair for the dramatic."

Putting her pointer fingers in the air, small fireworks shout out of them. It was magic, but hardly enough. Definitely not enough for her to get disqualified for using her powers.

(Y/n) swung the box open, gingerly taking out the heavy metal. Holding it up for the world to see, the princess laughed victoriously. It was so much easier than (Y/n) assumed it would be to win the heist. All she had to do know was keep the doors locked until midnight, maybe go hide the medal while the others were distracted.

Footsteps approached behind the girl. Defensive instincts kicking in, (Y/n) grabbed a knife from the block in the corner and pointed it at the intruder.

"I just wanted some coffee," Bruce threw his hands up to prove his innocence, "I thought that it would be fine since it's only you out here."

"I thought the same thing, popcorn instead though," Nat entered the kitchen as well, throwing a bag of popcorn in the microwave, "I saw your little act on the access screen in the screening room. It was cool."

"Princess, this is not fair!" Tony slammed his fist against his door, "Bruce, Nat, put her in a choke hold and make her let us go!"

"Vis, just phase through the-" Wanda stopped herself, remembering that powers weren't allowed in the heist.

"I'm a bit sad it ended so quickly," (Y/n) admitted. Her eyes trailed over to Steve's section of the screen. He was grabbing his shield, "Oh come now Steve. Like you would ever break a door down for something like thi-"

Crash!

Wurn, (Y/n) thought to herself, Guess I underestimated how much Steve has gotten into this game.

Fully grown adults acting like little children. That was the only way to describe what this had come to. A lot of things happening now were different compared to (Y/n)'s childhood however. She felt a lot more human, and she acted more human. Even compared to when the Avengers were first formed (Y/n) had evolved a lot through her interactions with everyone.

The biggest difference however, was that (Y/n) was smarter. And she was smart enough to know that she should have been out of the kitchen five seconds ago.

"Bye Bruce, Nay. Happy Christmas Eve."

"Not so fast," Wanda and Vision blocked my way to the elevator, "I sacrificed my favorite chair to break the door down. You aren't going anywhere."

"I warned you that you'd regret it," Vision pointed out, his words falling on deaf ears.

(Y/n) spun around, attempting to go the other way. Tony and Steve, standing side by side in the other doorway, blocked her last exit. Bruce and Nat were watched amusedly in the background, Nat eating her freshly popped popcorn.

"That was a very silent operation," (Y/n) stated, in shock.

"You think I can't hack back my system?" Tony took a menacing step towards the girl, "Hand over the medal and no one gets hurt."

"I beg to differ," Wanda stepped forward as well, "I would have no problem killing all of you if it meant getting that medal. I need a vacation."

(Y/n) held the medal tightly to her chest, yelping as everyone ran towards her. But, Bruce - accidentally- came to her rescue. When everyone ran forwards the scientist attempted to sneak out of the kitchen since his coffee was made. But, he completely missed the fact that Steve's shield was on the floor.

"Shit," Bruce swore, spilling his coffee all over himself as he slipped.

Everyone in the room froze, anticipating the Hulk to come out and destroy the tower. Bruce groaned in frustration, moving his glasses so he could pinch his nose.

"Are you alright Doctor?" Vision was the first one to break the silence.

"Fine," Bruce sighed, "I'll just drink some of the pop we have in the lab. Go ahead and keep playing."

"This is why heists are dumb," Nat stepped into the elevator, off to continue her movie.

"We should probably clean that up," Steve motioned to the large spot of coffee spread over the floor.

"Eh, it's partly dry," Tony shrugged, "We can clean it up after we finish."

Everyone murmured in agreement at the motion. (Y/n) twirled the ribbon of the medal around her fingers, itching to go hide it somewhere so she could win.

"I say we reset the game because we had to pause," Vision spoke up, "That way it's entirely fair again."

"What? No!" (Y/n) yelled out in frustration, "You're just mad you didn't get it first. I say you all give me four minutes of a headstart and we go from there."

"(Y/n)," Steve slowly peeled the medal out of his girlfriend's hands. He then put it back in the wooden box and closed it, "This is the fairest way to play."

"Screw fair," (Y/n) huffed, crossing her arms.

"Pizza for the Avengers!" Three voices yelled out in unison from the elevator.
Everyone looked towards the elevator. Sure enough, three pizza delivery people had large pizzas perched on their shoulders. They were amazed by the Avengers, but bored at the same time. No one liked working Christmas Eve.

"Who ordered pizza?"

"Mr Stark seems like the most likely candidate," Vision stated the most obvious culprit.

"What? Like I would order pizza and not bring out some wine to drink it with," Tony scoffed in disgust at the accusation.

"Pizza for the Avengers!" Four more voices rang out from the elevator.

"This is getting a bit ridiculous!" (Y/n) raised her voice to be heard over the increasing amount of chatter.

After that, it felt as though every time the elevator doors closed, they opened again with even more people delivering pizzas. Every pizza place within a twenty mile radius had been called and ordered from. Someone had managed to arrange that they would arrive at the same time.

"Who did this?"

"Guys, watch the medal!"

"Bagnufen emiged zu kif ev jyesh ge lov iprew mique puh shi. Ujyl ev i xalumne!"

"Alright, hey!" Steve's voice reached the volume of Thor's when he was drunk, "All pizza delivery employees need to leave. We didn't order any pizza. Tony will handle any expenses. Talk to the secretary downstairs."

In larger groups this time, all of the workers took the elevator down to the main floor and left. Slowly but surely, it became less and less crowded. When the last group left, we turned our attention away from the elevator and back on the game.

"Wait, what?"

"The medal is gone!"

Sure enough, the box was entirely open. The medal was gone from the case, no sign of it anywhere in the kitchen or living room. The group of five began to circle each other around the island. If looks could kill, each and every one of them would be six feet under.

"I swear by Atreya I will figure out which one of you took the medal," (Y/n) threatened, frustrated that she had it in her hands and it was taken away from her.

"Or it was you who took it," Tony pointed a finger at the alien, "Pizza is one of your favorite Earth foods."

"Pizza is a dish all of us enjoy!" (Y/n) exclaimed, slamming her hands against the countertop, "That doesn't prove anything."

"Still a long time until the sun rises," Wanda stepped out of the circle, "Whoever took that medal is lucky I can't read minds right now."

Wanda stormed out of the room, Vision trailing behind her calmly. (Y/n) didn't think he entirely understood the concept or severity of the game, but he was still going along with it for Wanda. Cute.

~*~

"Do you think they bought it?" Wanda turned to Vision, grinning excitedly, as they entered her room. The door was leaning against the frame, no longer working practically.

"I didn't detect any signs of suspicion our way," Vision nodded.

"Good," Wanda pulled out the medal from the back of her pants, "That was really cold and uncomfortable. Now we need to hide it somewhere."

"Perhaps, where you keep your stash of candy?"

"Yes! Vis you're a genius!"

Picking up the door and shuffling it out of the way, Wanda left her room and rushed into her bathroom. She knelt down next to the door and pulled the vent cover off of the wall. Behind it was a large pile of wrapped candy. She set the medal in front of all of the sweets, sticking the cover back on soon after.

"There. Now all we have to do is wait until midnight, there's no way anyone will find it here."

~*~

"Thanks a lot for this Sam," Steve held his phone up to his ear with his shoulder, using his hands to control the small recon drone Sam had quite literally flown over for Steve to borrow.

"No problem. You said it was for a heist, you need me for a mission?"

"No, don't worry about it. But the heist is still pretty important, a week of vacation if we win. I have no idea where I'm going to put the medal though, probably in the gym. Anyways, thanks again. I'll talk to you soon, bye." Steve ended the call, setting his phone down, "And Tony thinks I don't know how to use modern technology."

Putting all of his focus and effort into it, Steve maneuvered the drone through the vents of the tower. While his hands were constantly moving the controls, his eyes were trained on the small screen that allowed him to see what the drone saw.

If the blueprints Steve pulled up from the system were right, then the bathroom vent shaft he was looking for would be right-

"There," Steve grinned victoriously when he saw one of the bright wrappers of candy in the stash, "She thought she could hide the fact that she's going off her diet from me. Ametuer. If she wants to do well in her training she needs to eat right."

The drone continued on, pushing the candy aside. Steve pressed a red button on the controller, activating a magnet on the front. The medal shook, flying back from the front and sticking to the robot. Steve drove it back through the vents and into the bedroom.

"Perfect," Steve tugged the medal off of the magnet, watching as it spun in his hand, "A week off is in my hands."

~*~

"Hey Sam," (Y/n) chirped into the phone.

"You want to know about Steve's plan, don't you?"

"What, no," (Y/n) laughed fakely. She had a sneaking suspicion that Steve would contact Sam for some help with the matter. This confirmed that suspicion, "I just wanted to check in and see if you were enjoying your Christmas Eve. You know, any new intel on Bucky?"

"For someone who works as a spy half the time, you really suck at lying."

(Y/n) sighed into the phone, knowing she was caught, "What do you want?"

"Something good. I'm betraying Captain America for you."

"And I appreciate that. How about...One favor, and meditation guiding. If you learn how to do it properly it can assist in treating PTSD."

"Not good enough."

"Ugh fine," (Y/n) groaned in frustration, "A month's worth of baked goods on top of the other two things."

"You have yourself a deal. I let Steve borrow one of my drones. He mentioned hiding the medal in the gym."

"Thanks Sam, you're the best!"

(Y/n) hung up, already on her way to the gym. It seemed larger than normal, given she needed to find something generally small. The woman checked around the weights, climbing wall, track, and came back with nothing. She sighed, almost ready to give up and accept her defeat. Her eyes then fell upon a punching bag.

Face palming for being so dense, she slowly walked towards it. Something was shining in the light.

"Steve, I love you, but you're making this way too easy," (Y/n) plucked the medal off of the top of the equipment, wrapping it around her neck and tucking it into her shirt.

(Y/n) left the gym, and took the elevator back up to the living room. It was ten minutes to midnight. She had this in the bag. When the doors opened, she immediately sat down on the couch, closing her eyes. A moment of rest felt wonderful.

"Giving up so close to midnight?" Steve strolled into the room, not a care in the world, "I thought you said you would destroy me."

"Just taking a break. Might even go down to the gym after this," the alien emphasized the word, a smirk playing across her lips.

"I knew Sam would betray me," Steve chuckled, "You do make the best brownies after all. That's why I didn't hide it in the gym."

"What are you talking about?" Concerned with the new information, (Y/n) sat up.

"I lied to Sam so you would waste time looking in the wrong spot."

"But you did put it in the gym," (Y/n) pulled the medal out from under her shirt.

"What?" Steve pulled out an identical medal from his back pocket, "I've had the medal on me this entire time."

"How are you to do- What the hell?" Wanda stopped in her tracks when she saw the couple holding up two medals.

"Pepper wants us to have breakfast with her parents tomorrow which means I can't get hungover. And if I win and can't have a bottle of tequila to celebrate, what's the point?" Tony sauntered into the room, finishing his statement before taking notice of the tension in the room, "Oh, two medals. That's interesting."

"We have the medal," Vision claimed, "It was hidden in the bathroom vent. We just retrieved it and came to announce our victory."

Wanda held up another identical copy of the gold medal. The four remaining player exchanged extremely confused looks. This definitely wasn't what any of them expected. What was going on?

Suddenly, the normal fluorescent lights were replaced with blacklights. The Avengers grimaced at the state of their living room and kitchen, knowing full well they would have to clean it as soon as the holidays were over. But, there was a more pressing matter than the filth they were unaware of. Words were written across the medals. Heists are dumb.

"Are heists dumb? No, of course not. I came up with the idea," Tony laughed as if the notion of one of his ideas being dumb was ridiculous.

"It's supposed to say heists are dumb," Steve and Wanda switched medals, rearranging the words, "See?"

"Nat," everyone said in unison, remembering what the redhead had been saying all night.

The large group of Avengers crowded into the too-small elevator and took it to the screening room level. There, Nat was watching the Santa Clause with her bag of popcorn in her lap. She glanced at the out of breath group in interest when they all scrambled in.

"Where's the medal?" Wanda nearly screeched, frantic for answers.

"I don't know," Nat shrugged, looking back at her movie, "I told you guys I didn't want to waste my time."

"Stop lying," Tony cut in, "We know you have the medal. Just tell us where it is."

"For the last time, I don't have it," Nat snapped, a dangerous glint in her eyes. She was annoyed, "Ask Friday."

"Sorry, Friday is shut down until one," (Y/n) smiled sheepishly, "I hacked into her for the heist."

"Of course you did," Nat pinched the bridge of her nose, "I'm going to my room."

"Sorry Nat," Steve stepped in front of her, arms crossed, "You aren't going anywhere. Not until we know what's going on."

The lights shut off again, and this time, blacklights didn't replace them. When they did flicker back on, Bruce was standing in front of the movie screen.

"Surprise guys," he shrugged casually.

"Uwah?"

"Guess I'm the best Avenger," Bruce draped the real medal around his neck, "Or the smartest at least. Last week Tony asked me to order a medal that said Best Avenger on it. I ordered a few extras because knowing us, we'd need them. Tony kind of predicated I wouldn't want to be a part of this and told me his idea. You didn't come up with it by the way, a precinct in Brooklyn does this every year for Halloween. From there, I guessed (Y/n) would make the first move. But, Wanda would make sure a distraction was ready just in case her and Vision couldn't make it. That's how the pizzas came in.

"When she put it in the vent I replaced it with a fake, replacing the fake with another when Steve went in and stole it from Wanda. I took the elevator to the gym while (Y/n) was on the phone with Sam and put my last fake medal there."

"And you knew we would race in here to blame Nat because she's been saying heists are dumb all night," Steve finished, "That's really smart Bruce. Sorry Nat."

"It's fine," Nat shoved a few kernels of popcorn into her mouth, "I would've done the same thing to you guys."

"Thanks," Bruce pulled his sleeve up to check his watch, "And it's midnight. Now I get a nice vacation, all because I made a few calculations about what you guys would do."

"Damn," Tony clapped Bruce on the shoulder, "This guy is smarter than I am. But I'm pretty sure I came up with the heist idea. Bruce, the best Avenger."

"The best Avenger!" The rest of the Avengers cheered for the introverted scientist.

"Merry Christmas guys," Bruce smiled, "This was fun, we should do this again next year."

"Already planning how to win," (Y/n) nodded in confirmation.

"Actually, this cost around twelve thousand dollars to pull off. With the damage and ordering the pizzas," Vision warned, "Those costs could increase if this heist continued."

"Eh, I'm rich," Tony shrugged it off, "Now let's go get some sleep and then open presents!"

Everyone cheered happily at the mention of sleep. The heist felt short, but the night felt long. Steve and (Y/n) were talking animatedly while they were leaving, unaware of their surroundings.

"You two are under the mistletoe," Wanda teased, her voice sing-song.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss," the Avengers began chanting.

"Merry Christmas Steve," (Y/n) pushed herself up on her tiptoes, kissing him gently, "I'm glad I didn't end up destroying you."

"It was a bit scary to see you that intense," Steve chuckled in agreement, kissing the girl again, "Merry Christmas (Y/n)."