I SHOULDN'T BE here, was my first thought as I pushed open the door to Louis' room.

My feet had carried me almost instinctively up to his chambers and before I could contemplate turning and heading back to my room, I'd found myself already standing with my hand on the knob. It was probably indecent of me to be in his room and yet I couldn't bring myself to turn and leave.

His room was familiar, a place he had spent a lot of his time while away from the lab – it was somewhere I knew I'd feel closer to him. Some part of me hoped to find him inside, either sitting at his desk, furiously scribbling down notes or reading in his bed.

With a creak, the door swung on its hinges and revealed the emptiness within. Of course, he wasn't there; no matter how hard I wished, he wouldn't come back to me.

The emptiness of the room should have made me turn and walk away. I didn't need another reminder that he was gone. However, my feet refused to obey.

Sleep had been a struggle once again and the more restless I grew, the more I'd longed to escape my room. Of course, the first place I'd thought of after opening my door had been to wander up to Louis' room. Perhaps the midnight jaunt would tire me out enough to get at least a couple hours at least.

I'd expected a couple of guards or even Norkar to be stationed outside of the door. To my relief, the corridor was vacant save for the sound of the creatures down in the garden, chirping away like birds early in the morning. The crimson sky shone through the tall windows of the corridors I padded through, a slight chill creeping over the sills. I pulled the emerald robe tighter around myself as I made my way through the palace, glancing left and right to ensure I wouldn't stumble into any guards.

I remembered the way to Louis' room easily. Most likely I could make the journey with my eyes closed. It was a floor above, to the left, the final room on the left at the end of the hall. As I took my time up the staircase, I had to slow my pace to avoid being heard by any guards that may have been patrolling the upper levels. Would Louis' room have guards outside it? There was the possibility of course, but who was there to guard? Thankfully, as I peered down the corridor, I found it to be just as eerily silent as the one below.

I turned left and tip-toed my way down to the end of the corridor to Louis' room.

And there I was, the door wide open and reflecting what I'd felt inside for the last week and a half – nothing. Emptiness. Darkness so oppressive that I had to reach out a hand to steady myself. As I scanned the room, taking in the familiar desk littered with scientific diagrams and equations, the Junite contraptions strewn across the table-tops and the neatly made bed, I began to cry.

It was OK, I told myself. It was OK because I was alone and no one could see or hear me as I crumpled.

I carefully closed the door behind me as I took a step forward. I stumbled over to the window, crying more as I recalled Louis and I sitting together, looking out at the scarlet sky together, talking late into the night. Louis had told me he was in love with me that night. Now, the curtains were closed, encasing the far end of the room in darkness. I reached up and drew the curtains back - and gasped.

I'd completely forgotten what a state his room had been that night, before I'd found him sobbing to himself. He'd slashed the upholstery and thrown all his work to the ground in frustration. I'd helped him clean everything up before we both went to bed but there was nothing we could do about the torn furniture. Nobody had been to mend it since then, and the chairs stood, tattered and in strips.

I plopped down on the padded window seat. The familiar location, one where I cherished such important memories with Louis, should have made some joy spark within me. It had to because then it was just another place, another window where people looked out.

I looked across from me, where Louis had sat that night. He had looked so sad, so dishevelled and lost. I couldn't have possibly known that he'd been about to declare his feelings for me. Klaru and the wedding had been the more prominent and likely topic I'd expected him to discuss and yet I'd been elated to hear those words.

I tried to visualise him sitting there once again, smiling at me the way he did whenever he was excited. The mention of pancakes or going out to look for his ship had made him smile like that and it had always warmed my heart to know that I'd been partly why.

"I miss you," I whispered to the empty seat. "You should be here right now."

I dropped my gaze to the floor, at some of the random items strewn messily here and there. A white shirt lay rumpled near the foot of the bed, a sturdy scroll rolled and secured with a red ribbon, a book. Knowing fully well that the scroll and book would make no sense to me, I bent down and snatched up the shirt.

It still smelled of him, that fresh and slightly sweet scent of his Junite skin. It clung to all those surrounding Jason and I in the palace and every now and then it would hit me so hard that I'd want to bawl my eyes out. Besides that, I could smell something more familiar on the material – my perfume.

There was a flash of light under the door. Before I could contemplate what to do, two Junites entered the room.

Was it against the law for me to be poking around Louis' things? Most likely and not to mention, I'd wandered around the palace without my escort. King Traxlo had specifically asked me not to leave Norkar's sight.

The first Junite that appeared was Alzik, to my relief. Behind him stood Queen Jozara.

The sight of Louis' mother made my heart sink. I'd never been able to shake the feeling that she disliked me for whatever reason and for her to find me snooping around in her son's room only made matters worse.

Before I could do or say anything, Alizk changed and said, "Do not fret, Earthling. You are lucky that I am the one who caught you and not a guard."

I bowed to the queen hastily before I frowned towards Alzik. "Are these your words or the Queen's?"

"They are Her Majesty's, Flora. I just happened to be the closest Junite who could translate for her." He cleared his throat. "Anything I say from now on shall be her words and not my own."

I nodded and looked to Jozara. In the dim lighting, she seemed to glow like a fiery beacon, her gaze burning through me. "I'm sorry," I began. "I couldn't sleep and thought a walk might help. I wanted to go somewhere ... familiar."

Alzik repeated my message and our conversation continued. "I see. And why do you believe my son's room to be 'familiar?'"

I gulped. Maybe it was against the rules to be in the Prince's room at all. "Loudrix hid my friend and I in here," I told her, pointing to the fireplace that concealed the safe-room, "when Klaru was trying to hunt us down. He kept us safe and I guess I just wanted to feel like that again. After everything. Safe."

Jozara's eyes diverted from my face and to the surroundings of her son's room. I wondered if she was used to seeing his room in such a tip. Had he been a messy child growing up? "My son spent a lot of time in here whenever he would come up with new inventions. Between here and the laboratory, it was difficult to get him to come out and do something as basic as join us for a meal.

"He was always so lost in his own world. He was so clever. So intelligent and brilliant with technology. I encouraged him to take interest in things that may be beneficial to him in later life..." she trailed off, looking down at the table with the messily laid plans and sketches. Her fingertips grazed them. "So clever."

I looked to Alzik, unsure how to reply. A mother in mourning was fragile and I feared that something I would say would only upset her further.

"He was clever," I started, nearly choking on the past tense. It was still so hard to say it like it was. "He was the cleverest person I've ever met."

Jozara smiled at me. A genuine smile, one that looked so like Louis' that I had to momentarily look away. "I know that you cared deeply for him - I can tell by the look in your eyes. It's the same way my Loudrix looked whenever he would delve into a story about his new inventions or some theory that he had perfected. True adoration."

"I loved him," I said. "I still do."

"As he loved you. He wasn't good at hiding it. Even before he announced his feelings to everyone at the wedding, I could tell he loved you very much. The look on his face when you emerged from the hovercraft - it was obvious right then. And then when he kissed you..." The queen paused; her eyes watery. It was clear how difficult she was finding it to talk about Louis. It was difficult for me also but apparently talking about those you've loved and lost is a coping mechanism. Maybe that's what the queen really wanted in that moment, someone to talk to. Perhaps she was struggling to sleep, to eat, to even think about her son in case she shed a tear in front of her inferiors.

"I... I never meant for any of this to happen," I gushed before she could break into tears. I looked urgently to Alzik, indicating that I needed him to translate quickly and he did. "I never meant for anything to happen to your son. That's the last thing I wanted and I completely understand if you blame me for what happened. If it weren't for me, Klaru wouldn't have gone as far as she did."

Jozara laughed quietly. "Blame you? How could I ever blame you? It is not your fault my son is dead. It is Klaru's. She delivered the killing blow. Klaru is the one that my husband and I blame and if she hadn't fallen to her death that day, we would have had her executed efficiently.

"I saw how you were with my boy while he lay there. It was like it were only the two of you in that moment, the rest of the world nowhere to be seen. Perhaps that bond between you and Loudrix is what led Klaru to do what she did."

I swallowed, preparing myself for some sort of outburst. I'd been anticipating one since the moment I'd landed on Junito but I had one-hundred percent expected it to have been from King Traxlo. However, Jozara was what Jason sometimes referred to as a scary-calm type of person; she was far too collected considering recent events and at any given moment she could explode.

"I do think that Klaru had feelings for Loudrix. Or at least she did at one point. Originally her plan had been to marry him and become queen. It wasn't until we were on the way back to Junito that she confided in me that she was planning to murder him to take the crown for herself."

"Do you believe that's because of you?" Jozara asked.

"I..." I paused, contemplating. Did I think that? Surely Louis and I having feelings for each other wasn't enough to push someone to insanity. And yet, only after Klaru had discovered how close we'd become had she began to spiral out of control. It seemed ridiculous and yet, there we were. "Maybe," I replied honestly.

"You think it was because she was jealous?" Jozara urged.

I could only shrug. "I don't know, maybe? She didn't seem as twisted to begin with but that quickly changed."

"I see. It seems odd for her to grow jealous so quickly when her competition was an inhabitant of Earikom. No disrespect towards you and your kind, but we are the superior race. You would think that she wouldn't have anything to worry about."

"Well," I began, "maybe that's why she was suddenly hell-bent on gaining complete control of the crown. She saw me as a threat and knew that if she used me against Louis, he would do as she asked. Maybe it wasn't enough for her to be Louis' queen while he loved someone else."

"Indeed," Jozara nodded. "I can see why my son was so fond of you. You are very like-minded."

King Traxlo had noted something similar and it made me wonder if that was the true reason that Louis and I had been so close. Our compatible personalities were only one reason why I found myself attracted to him. He reminded me so much of myself in the way that his ambitions were so dear and important to him and that there was little that would prevent him from achieving them. That, plus his determination to try new things, explore new places and meet new people.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, unsure what else to say. "Even if you don't blame me for what happened, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you lost your son, I – I can't imagine what pain you must be in right now. You and King Traxlo. The rest of your family."

Alzik looked like he was about to cry as he passed the message on. He shot me a small smile as Queen Jozara prepared what to say, the silence drawing out awkwardly.

The queen stepped farther into the room, her pale eyes darting across the floor and the items laying around haphazardly. When she raised her eyes and found me clutching one of Louis' shirts, my grip tightened instinctively.

"Come and sit with me, human," Alzik translated for me. He carefully stepped over to the queen's side as she passed me and sat down on the window seat, exactly where Louis had perched. I retraced my steps and lowered myself onto the padded corner, close enough to the queen that I could have reached out and touched her. It was such an intimate corner of Louis' room and it felt strange to be sitting there so close to someone that wasn't Louis.

I almost gasped when Jozara reached out and took my hand in her own. Her hands were petite with perfectly manicured fingernails. She wasn't wearing a wedding ring I noticed but Junite weddings and traditions were very different to human ones. Her azure skin sparkled like diamonds as she wound her fingers through my own.

"I haven't had a chance to properly talk with you, Flora," she began. "I was hoping to at the funeral but I couldn't bring myself to speak of my son so soon. I wanted to thank you alone and in my own time. Thank you for bringing my son back to me. If it hadn't been for you, he wouldn't have made it home at all. Also, thank you for taking care of him while he was stranded on Earikom. I can't imagine how strange it must have been – for the both of you - to come across a life form so obviously from another planet."

"It was a surprise," I admitted. "I think we both handled it as best as we could considering."

Jozara smiled briefly. "I feel partly responsible for what happened. I was the one who urged him to pursue science. How could I not? He was miserable other wise and he was all caught up on his royal lessons so what else was there for him to do?"

"You can't blame yourself, Your Majesty. None of this is your fault. If anyone should feel guilty it's me."

"Nonsense!" Jozara squeezed my hand tighter. "No, child. None of this is at all your fault. We all feel shame but some more than others and some when they should not feel it at all. I fear that it is because of my constant encouragement that I am the one that drove him off and had him consider travelling far from Junito. If it hadn't been for me, he possibly would not have such a keen interest in the universe and its wonders and therefore he wouldn't have felt the need to leave at all-" The queen inhaled deeply, tears rolling down her cheeks. "He may have still been..."

I looked to Alzik for help but he just shook his head worriedly. Apparently, he was about as lost as I was when it came to consoling a royal. And yet, I'd been able to help Louis through his grief with ease.

I squeezed her hand back. "None of this is your fault. It's Klaru's. Please don't beat yourself up about what happened. I know it's hard, believe me, I do. You can't let her mistakes make you feel responsible in any way. Louis ... he wouldn't want you to feel like it's your fault. He knows it isn't."

Jozara blinked away tears and let her gaze fall to my other hand, still fisted in the fabric of one of Louis' shirts. "You speak as though he is still with us."

Because to not do so would break me further, I thought.

I swallowed. "In a way, I believe he is." I thought back to what he had said to me out on the balcony, how that memories were eternal and that was what truly mattered. He would always be with me in my head and in my heart. There was nothing that could change that. "I'll always remember him. No matter what or how long, he'll always be in my memories."

Jozara smiled sadly. "It is lovely that you think like that. Here on Junito, after the funeral there is no more. Sadly, that last goodbye is the final time we get to converse with our loved ones. After that, there is nothing. Memories, yes. However, you know as well as I do that memories are not quite like making memories. At the end of the day, yes we can look back fondly at the good times but they will never be as wonderful as it would be to be able to hold them an cherish them forever in your arms."

I sniffled and ungraciously wiped the back of my hand against nose. There was no point in trying to conceal my tears considering the queen had originally walked in on me bawling my eyes out. I could cry if I had to and talking to the queen, I realised that she too needed to take some time to talk through what had happened and hopefully that would be one step closer to lessening the pain.

"I ... I understand what you're saying. Obviously, it's not the same. It could never be the same. Maybe here, things are looked at differently. At the end of the day memories are that which help us grow and become the best of ourselves. Your son, the memories I have of him, are going to change my life from now on. Because of him, I'm leaving Junito a changed woman."

It was true. No matter what I moved on to do in my life, there was nothing that could even begin to amount to the time I had spent with Louis. The things I had seen, the things I had learnt were so monumental compared to anything that Earth could offer me and moving forward, though it would be hard, painful to reminisce about the times Louis and I could've had together, the entire experience would always be that one thing to push me just that little further - to peruse those dreams I had only half-heartedly approached in the past.

"Funny you should mention leaving Junito," Jozara muttered suddenly. She cleared her throat and shifted in her seat to face me better. "That is another reason I wished to talk with you."

My palms began to sweat. I'd known the conversation would happen at some point and yet no matter how many times I told myself I was ready for it, I'd been wrong. I hadn't anticipated the gruesome lurch my stomach gave at the queen's words.

"I was wondering when we'd get the boot," I chuckled quietly.

Queen Jozara's loosened her grip on my hand. "It is not as personal as you may believe, child. I am no fool and I can see that you are hurt but it has come to my attention that though you and my son were ... close ... many do not like the fact that you remain on our planet during the mourning period. My own maids pondered why my husband and I are allowing you and your friend to remain on our home when you – as they see it – were caught up in the mess that resulted in my son's death."

Hearing the words sparked both surprise and anger within me. There were bound to be Junites who partially blamed me for Louis' death but to finally be informed that it was true was like receiving a blow to the gut.

I inhaled shakily. "I don't wish to burden you and your people any further, Your Majesty. If you wish for Jason and I to leave Junito right away, then we shall respect your wishes."

The queen released my hand completely and pulled herself up to stand before me. She smoothed out her night dress, the sparkles of her skin catching in the scarlet light of the dawning Junito sky. She turned to Alzik and smiled before passing on one final message.

"You have my endless gratitude for returning my son to his home, Flora Brannon. You and your friend are not the devilish creatures our people have come to hear about during bedtime stories. I thank you again. However, concerning you and your friend – I am afraid leaving as soon as possible would be for the best. Not only for the people of Junito but for yourself. You need time like the rest of us. To rest. Grieve. Remember."

I got to my feet and bowed but only barely – my legs felt like they were about to give out. It was so much to take in so suddenly. Leaving Junito sounded as awful as leaving Neverland. Queen Jozara was right of course and besides, there was nothing for Jason and I on Junito. We had said our goodbyes, we had saved and helped Louis achieve his goals and proved to the Junites that humans were not a thing of myths.

As much as I'd grown to detest my life back on Earth, it was still a life. It was something Louis had been robbed of and I knew he would hate to see me waste my own while it was there for the taking.

"Thank you, Queen Jozara."

Her eyes scanned me up and down one final time, her eyes once again landing on Louis' shirt I held. "Keep it," she said, gesturing. "I know you'll want a piece of him with you back on Earikom. Rest well, Flora. I'll have a ship ready to return you and your friend to your home planet by noon."

And with that, she turned her back and strode out of the door, Alzik following closely behind her. Before he left, he turned and gave me a small, sad smile.

Only a few more chapters left of Alien to go now, guys! I'm so excited to be near to completing another story, especially one I've been writing for so long (about 4 years thanks to procrastination and laziness).

Sorry again for the long wait. A lot happened in the last few months: I turned 21 so there was a party and too much mixing of drinks to be healthy, Endgame happened (kill me) and I've been doing a lot of reading because my Goodreads challenge is behind yet again. If you'd like to follow me on Goodreads, here's the link:

https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/66223523-carrin-wright

Astronaut joke: How do astronauts say they're sorry? They Apollo-gize!