well

that was something, huh

i adore alex so much- i feel like he's a bit of an unreliable narrator sort, because he sees himself as this broken, ruined thing, when really he's rather like a caterpillar who doesn't yet know he'll be a butterfly soon

there are a few things i wanted to explain real quick in case you didn't realize what i was getting at in the writing-

a) whenever alex switches from saying "theodore" to "theo," it's intentional... he sees theodore as this distant, unreachable /star/, while theo is the boy who he loves and who looks upon him with wonderment, and who sees him as alexander, not alex.

b) darla and the barista ended up together, married with children. the barista is a woman, actually, i don't know if that got across. i made it sort of ambiguous, so you could really imagine the barista as whatever you wish. however, the barista /is/ supposed to be a woman.

c) i know i went on a lot about the eggs, coffee, and countertop, but it's really just a repetitive  metaphor for life losing its meaning. same with the earl grey and the smoothies - those represent trying new things, and especially how people grow and change.

d) theodore really did have feelings for alex, meaning that alex wasn't a one-night (or three-night, whatever) stand to him. i love it when i can make my characters sacrifice love for their passions (i'm so evil, ik, sorry) because it's a very real struggle. sometimes, your dreams eclipse your love for someone, and that's okay.

e) this was set in san francisco. i might've said that already, but oh well. i love san francisco, and just big cities in general, because they offer such anonymity. also i adore the theater scene in san francisco - it's lovely. i watched hamilton there, actually, which was amaaaaaazing. probably my favorite musical ever.

anywaysssss

tysm for reading <3 <3 <3

love you!