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Written by pjmologist

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Hi Sweetpea, thanks so much for your patience. If you'd like to know more about your review, let me know...

The government wants me to kill the one man I love, tomorrow, yet I have a revolution to plan

For me, when I think 'Revolution' this conjures up words such as - politics, reconnaissance, secret liaisons, mind games and action - which is perfect for your story, considering its tag line and how it reads

It may be a common title, but It's also 101% suited to your book because it accurately tells the reader what they're in store for, without adding any unnecessary bells and whistles to confound them

I can't tell you the number of times I've come across book titles with eyebrow raising names that have made me go "What the heck does that mean?" only to then Google it and find out it means something hella simple - like 'Diamond'

Well why the heck didn't they just call it Diamond then?

I'm just saying. It's nice to come across unique titles that make you think - but when all your flashy title translates to, is something super straightforward - just say it how it is

Why puzzle your readers for absolutely no purpose?

It's like how some people groom their poodles to look like lions...

Dude, it's a POODLE. Just let the poor thing be a poodle! 😵

Whoops, I went waaay off topic with that one haha

The non-fussy title and tag line aside - I note your cover is equally un-fussy but not as unified with your storyline

I like the straightlaced and bold font but the picture of Jimin is of him wearing a comfy sweater and looking boyish - which doesn't match the persona you've given him in your story. If you ever sought to change this in future, I'd suggest finding a more 'manly' image for him

I'm also 50/50 about the moody, static filter. It's fine if we consider the books serious tone but it's not attention grabbing

It's up to you. I've never been one to judge a books cover harshly, but I know a lot who do so it's something to think about if this factors into your decision making as an author

Speaking of decisions, did you know the font you've used for some of your description, book and chapter titles, quotes, authors notes and playlists - can't be viewed?

I've mentioned this as an issue in a previous review, because sometimes when you use non-default WP fonts they aren't compatible with everyone's devices

Again, it's your choice whether to change this up so everyone can partake but personally I'd think this would be a no brainer

If I took the time in the first place to write these things for people to read - then people should be able to actually... read them 🤷‍♂️

Moving forward, when we enter into the story, readers learn a bit about the main OC, Lia, and her backstory - how she's always been an obedient, compliant child with adult-esque expectations of herself. Which are the very traits that see her being sent to 'The Capital' to train as a spy, infiltrate the government and make a dictators son fall in love with her

After meeting her comrades, Brooke and Jungkook, Lia and Jungkook go on mission that involves them jumping out of a plane and journeying through a forest

For pacing, ease, time and service to the plot, I get why you didn't take the opportunity to go into further detail of those action sequences (the plane diving and trekking) but nonetheless, being the ho for detail that I am, I would've loved to have read more about them

Even so, the flow and continuity of your story was utilised well

Ever read a fic where you just know from the get-go that it's going to be bipolar and chaotic?

Well, that wasn't the case for your first chapter, which was solemn but steady, and built up enough of air of mystery to keep me going

The third chapter was completely blank. No matter how many times I refreshed, shut down WP and even reloaded my phone, it stayed blank. Hopefully I didn't miss anything vital

If I did, it made very little difference to my impression of your story

I especially liked how you wrote Lia

Our first intro to her, is as a dream child whose perfect, almost mechanical behaviour, has her parents seeking her medical help

You made it clear this was just her personality and default setting though - not due to something sinister - which strangely, I kinda adored

As a reader, we're used to seeing emotionless characters who are the product of childhood trauma or neglect, but that's not the case for Lia at all

It's just how she is

As we get deeper into the story and Lia grows up, we learn more about how she feels more than she outwardly shows - how she quietly observes and cares for those around her. Then we meet Taehyung, a stoic, mysterious wing commander and Jimin, the cocky generals son who Lia doesn't realise is her husband to be

The dynamic between Lia and JK, Tae and Jimin is palpable, and the more she interacts with them, the more I can't decide who I like her with best

In this respect you've excelled by succeeding in creating chemistry between Lia and the three males, and all in different ways to match their differing personalities

Ngl, if you wanted to build up JK and Tae interactions with her, just to break our poor second lead shipping hearts, I wouldn't be mad at it - well, maybe I would, but I would forgive you!

Descriptiveness was sometimes inconsistent but there was an acceptable level of it. Clear, concise, simple but decent

One thing I didn't really get was the extra spacing between sentences. Was that to make chapters seem longer? Or simply creative licence?

It just amounted to unnecessary scrolling for me but not to the point where it became burdensome

There's a couple of plot holes / yet to be clarified things to point out - for example, how Lia and Jimin became engaged, the little girl with her voo-doo-ey foresights and how it's never specified where the story is based

When you refer to South and North is this Korea or somewhere else?

A small detail that would've helped assist with the imagery

(If it was North Korea I would've pictured a sparce, barren forest.
If it was North America I would've pictured a lush, compact forest.
If it was North New Zealand I would've pictured Lord of the Rings minus the Hobbits)

There was also the odd occasion some things threw me a little

When Lia and JK were walking as Northern officers, staging as Southern officers but disguised as Northern officers. Even Lia seemed to be confused about that one

Then the bubbly officer who greeted them at the border and gushed about how they would make cute babies. For a military personnel who had a very serious and important job, it seemed like an unlikely interaction

For writing style - sometimes there was no separation between character dialogue but fortunately the distinction between who was talking was always clear, so again a point to make but with very little effect on reader experience

Vocab and grammar was 👍. A few inaccurate use of dashes in place of full stops or commas, instances of incorrect punctuation and capitalisation. A couple of misspellings but again, nothing too irksome

Other than these, I couldn't really find much else to nitpick about - an awesome sign! Your characters are interesting and their chemistry pops. It's not the most in depth book I've ever read but the premise was exciting. You got yourself a wee gem, just polish it up a bit and it will surely shine!

Linney xo

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"Good looking asshole. You really don't give yourself enough credit." ~ Lia to Jungkook in Revolution