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Written by jungminx

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Hi pumpkin, here's your full review.
Hopefully it helps you out. If you've got any questions let me know...

When I first saw the title, I thought it was very unique but then when I did more research I was surprised to discover a few existing books with that name

"Quintessence" essentially means 'The perfect embodiment or example of' which, in relevance to a story, can signify almost anything. I read 17 chapters and still so far, I can't tell what this is named for but maybe this is indicated in your story description?

I couldn't tell because I wasn't actually able to see it (the description). I couldn't read the quotes at the start of each chapter either

This is a trap I've fallen into with my own story until someone alerted me. Because sometimes when you use fancy fonts in WP they're not compatible with everyone's technologies so they can't be read

I get it. It's nice to beautify your stories but it can be counterproductive and can defeat the whole purpose if not everyone can see it

Notably, something that was missing a bit of flair was your cover. It's not cohesive with your fantastical plot, neither is it something that attracts notice because everything - the colours, font and border are quite plain. Even Jimin himself is looking into the camera looking like he's done with life 😂 but I noticed you've made it so all your works covers match. This makes the line-up in your profile look uniform but it's not really beneficial to much else

It becomes about picking your battles based on what's most vital to you

Is it more important to you that your books have the same theme and make your profile look nice? Or more important that they're attention grabbing when viewed individually (like when they show up in recommendations etc)

Questions only you can answer!

Because there was no description, I went into your story having no idea what it was about, and then I watched the trailer you made which lead me to believe it revolved around the supernatural, either as an OC / Jimin and Jungkook or Jikook book

The trailer was great by the way. People don't understand the level of push that goes into that kind of thing and you did fantastic – clips, music, editing, vibe... Verrrry nice!

In your story, it's quickly established as an OC / BTS book. Then we get into a childbirth scene complete with the mention of cervixes lol for those that may be a bit squeamish it can be a confronting way to start to a story but I wasn't fazed by it at all

Shock and awe. No one can argue that it isn't an effective way to capture interest

Further along, the main characters are unveiled. Kim Y/N and and Jimin along with Y/N best friend Chaesoo, BTS and a boy named Yoo Seungwon who is obviously significant somehow – but unfortunately, I didn't get to read far enough to discover why 😢

Y/N is an archaeologist who was raised in a broken home, whilst Jimin is an Angel who wants to do more than just help stranded animals like he's supposed to. Y/N goes to Greece for work and meets Jimin after he gets banished to earth for breaking his fathers (God?) rules, then she winds up stuck with him. After this, events unfurl, and we find out that Y/N and Jimin's fates are intertwined, and Jimin and Jungkook are not all as they seem

I'm living for the premise! Especially OC as an archaeologist which I've never seen before in other BTS fan fics. The human / angel soulmate link has been done many times but undoubtedly it's still creative. I appreciate how you've added quite a bit of mystery throughout to keep things fresh and people guessing

At times the pacing went from steady to fast because of the switching in writing style

For example, you wrote surroundings excellently – the night sky, architecture etc which would slow things down, but then when it came to character emotions and interactions, this felt a bit recited and non-descriptive. In particular – the smut, which had little effect (you pointed out it was your first attempt so good try!) and continuity from one place to another. Such as when Y/N travelled from Greece to South Korea without any mention of planes or when she travelled to the beach without any mention of a car ride

I know it's hard when you just wanna get to the good stuff but try not to skip out on in-between details because this can ramp up the pacing

Character emotions were also very quick to change. Jimin considered Y/N his best friend by chapter 7 without them having that many meaningful interactions, then by chapter 9 he was in love, and Y/N was quick to anger but also very quick to forgive

She believes Jimin is stalking her but lets him in because she's concerned about the cold? Jimin chokes her unconscious but at the same moment she has romantic feelings for him? Jungkook exhibits psychotic tendencies but she readily accepts that?

It made me wonder about her sanity sometimes. Whether she was foolish or ignorantly kind... However, I understand it was done to service your plot and because it's a fantasy book and you explained in reference to Jimin that 'there was something about his presence that took my doubts away' it made that it easier to understand that part of it

Between Y/N and Jimin their chemistry seemed friendly but not all that romantic, as readers don't get many opportunities to see these kind of feelings present during the lead up. Something that I think could be readily addressed with a bit more one on one interaction or inner monologue (from both Y/N and Jimin)

On the flipside, I could tell alot of well thought out planning has gone into the creation of the plot. You're not just writing on the go. You've got a pathway and destination in mind and it shows

The story seems to center strongly around the topic of abandonment too. With each character reacting strongly to their own experiences of it so it'll be interesting to see how this plays out in the future

There were a couple of small plot holes. Jimin saying his feet brought him to Y/N's house all the way from Greece, Y/N dating Jungkook for a year but had never been to his house before, others losing their memory of Jimin but not Jungkook – But nothing huge and again, it could be that I just haven't read far enough

Vocabulary wasn't wide but it was decent. Grammar had some sticky moments. Namely the incorrect punctuation at the end of dialogue, incorrect capitalization or lower case of dialogue tags and use of singulars vs plurals...

i.e. our gears, our equipments, our foods, some staffs (should be gear, equipment, food, staff)

Other than those little niggles it was a nice, easy read. The primary advice I'd give to you would be to work in strengthening the chemistry between Y/N and Jimin - at present it's not obvious - maybe even out the pacing but the story was fascinating, and the effort you put into creating the plot and the little artistic touches was 👍😘

It all adds up and it all matters so well done and keep up the hustle!

Linney xo

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~ You're very special to me. You're the first human to make me cry. You're the first person who made me laugh ~ Park Jimin in Quintessence