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Written by rDec123

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Hi friend, from me to you here's your full review. Hope it's helpful. I'm here for any Q's...

In which Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung are -
What will happen when a one-sided crush starts to emit into their ?

Whereas Jungkook, an aloof entrepreneur and a " " develops a severe attraction for am attention where named Taehyung.

Yay, my first Ship book! 😊 When I first started reading this for review I couldn't figure out why it was so familiar but then I realized I'd already read a couple of chapters of it a few months back.

From what I recall, the outsides are still the same. From the outset it's a photo of Taehyung with his face in the wind, looking young, wild and free. It's understated, as is your description, so neither are crowd drawing by any means but it's nice

One thing, is the title meant to be 'But it's fun' or 'But it's fun until It's not'? - Because both invoke different impressions.

'But it's fun' gives the feeling of playfulness

'But it's fun until it's not' the feeling of temporary pleasure and eventual sorrow

Whichever it is, your story leans more toward the latter so it's good that you've included both, and it all seems to be relative to your plot. The only thing I would suggest is to maybe find an equally suited pic that also includes Jungkook in it - since the Ship involves him - but otherwise it's fine

As we get into it, we're introduced to Jungkook, a successful young elite, who is drinking away his stresses at a bar where he meets Taehyung, an enigmatic boy with impure agendas. From there it's a quick pathway to a 'forbidden fruit' illicit one-night stand that ignites their desires for each other, even though there are barriers that could (and should) keep them apart

There's not much I can say towards originality here. I've read so many BTS fan fictions (like seriously, I read a 'normal' book the other day and my brain was like "Honey, you're finally reading something without BTS in it. Are you okay? Do we need to call somebody?") and half of them probably had plot lines like this, but there's a reason why they're so popular... and that's because, deep down, we're all freaks

Okay, okay not all of us are freaky (or as freaky - I refuse to believe even the most pure person doesn't have at least a little freak in them) but if there's one thing that sells more than sex, it's sex and scandal, so in an appealing sense its got it

Taekook's connection was established quick but you managed to make it so it didn't feel forced so great job. Dialogue and banter was quick-fire and humorous, but overall pacing did drag at times because of the way your descriptions were formatted

The vocabulary was wide and varied, but a strange mix of amateur and skillful, with some sentences reading well with good imagery, but most that contained words that either didn't fit with the sentence or weren't organised correctly

To example a few:

'He had his tongue impending out' (Impending is used for situations or events not for body parts)

'Jungkook searched the males face for any shamming utterance' (Utterance is related to speech not facial expression)

'Marching at its prey who was as much as intimidating' (Should be - Marching at its prey who was just as intimidating)

'His vocal might probably lose its spark' (Should be - His voice might lose its spark)

'Taehyung was assertive that he will have a great time' (Should be - Taehyung was assured that he will have a great time)

'His heart pounded so hard his tinnitus was about to boom. He was certain, hence, haltingly his expensive steps for him' (Tinnitis is a medical condition different from normal ear ringing. Unsure what the second part is)

'But a different kind of tickle as if by how it's ticklish was why it felt so god damn good' (Should be - But a different kind of tickle, the kind of tickle that felt so god damn good)

'Vulgar figure' (Vulgar is a negative connotation that you wouldn't use to describe Jungkook's sexy ass)

'Jungkook's ample breasts' (Breasts. Boobs. Bosom - For females only)

I read about 14 chapters of your book and there were a few grammar issues with spelling, punctuation etc but the one that really affected the overall enjoyment was the word usage and sentence structure. It's praiseworthy how you attempt to use complex words but my advice, if you're not confident about whether it fits with your sentence 100% then don't use it

It's much better to write simply in a way everyone understands, than to write fancy in a way that doesn't make sense

Even though I struggled with this at some points, one thing I did comprehend, was the sexy scenes which were FIERY. I won't go into too much NSFW detail, but character chemistry was decent and dom Jungkook with tattoos?

DEAD

I was a little confused at Taehyung's characterization though. One minute he was timid and shy, the next he was bold and daring. The seduced then the seducer. Doing things like ordering food hesitantly for himself the confidently for Jungkook, wanting sex but interrupts their boom boom time for food

The reasons why he acts like that isn't clear so I'd recommend explaining this a bit more (either in the story or author notes)

Some of the conversations were a bit lost on me also

There was one interaction where Taekook were texting each other and Jungkook text him things like 'Lol omg XD idk'

I could picture Tae communicating like that since he was 'the crazy one' but not JK, and then when Tae started talking about body vs love, dumb dating and beating the system... Jungkook was like "I get it" but I was like "Baby, what?"

Another part that may warrant some further explanation or maybe some editing to make this read clearer. None of their conversations seem to have substance so far but hey, no big plot holes! Hooray!

I liked the side characters too

In fics Lisa's usually a bitch but in your story she's sweet, which makes it really easy to side with her as Taekook do their thing behind her back. There were some parts where I was like shaking my head at the way the boys would try and reason their discretions away to make them okay, but luckily this just conveys as irresponsible - not glorifying - so that's the main thing

And then there was Yuna. She's funny. Definitely a girl I'd like to see more of!

In conclusion if your book was a food item it'd be a spicy enchilada! Meaty, a little cheesy, HOT with a few confusing textures and flavours. Simplify the ingredients right down and it'd make things a lot tastier. What the heck am I even - don't mind me. I'm on a weird diet and it's affecting me!

Linney xo

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~ It's true love if you love someone and not want something back from them, right? ~ Kim Taehyung in But It's Fun