We now return to the inside of the cave. Saga lies unconscious on the Carpet. Chimchar tries to wake him.

Chimchar: Oh, oh. Saga? Wake up. Saga.

Carpet rises up, lifting Saga up. He awakes slowly.

Saga: Oh, my head. (He looks at the entrance sealed in.) We're trapped. (Angry, shaking his fists at the entrance) That two faced son-of-a-jackal! (Calmer) Whoever he was, he's long gone with that lamp.

Chimchar: Aha!

Chimchar pulls out the Magic Lamp.

Saga: Heh! Why, you hairy little thief! Looks like such a beat-up, worthless piece of junk. Hey, I think there's something written
here, but it's hard to make out.

He rubs the Lamp. Suddenly smoke comes out of the hole, the Lamp begins to shake and glow, but Saga holds onto the Lamp, and our wonderful friend, Genie Dohko comes out.

Dohko: Aaaaahhhhh! OY! Ten-thousand years will give ya such a crick in the neck! (He hangs Saga on a nearby rock. Then he pulls his head off and spins it around, yelling as he does so. Carpet pulls Saga down.) Whoa! Does it feel good to be outta there! (Dohko uses the lamp end of himself as a microphone.) Nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi, where ya from? (Sticks the mic in Saga's face.) What's your name?

Saga: Uh, Al--uh--Saga.

Dohko: (Says his name as if he's discovered something major) Saga! (A neon sign lights up with Saga's name on it, circled by chase lights. The sign changes to reflect the Genie's upcoming line.) Hello, Saga. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you 'Sa?' Or maybe just 'ga?' Or how bout 'Sagaii?' (Dohko disappears, then a dog wrapped in plaid jumps in.) Sounds like 'Here, boy! C'mon, 'Sagaii!'

Saga: (Shaking his head) I must have hit my head harder than I thought.

Dohko: (Still a dog) Do you smoke? Mind if I do? (Dog poofs into smoke, then back to the Genie. Chimchar screeches wildly.) Oh, sorry Cheetah--hope I didn't singe the fur! Yo, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia! Slap me some tassel! Yo! Yeah! (Carpet flies over and high fives Dohko. Dohko then looks at Saga.) Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. (Lifts his beer-gut.) Either that or I'm gettin' bigger. Look at me from the side--do I look different to you?

Saga: Wait a minute! I'm--your master?

Dohko: (Slaps a diploma in Saga's hand and a mortarboard on his head.) That's right! He can be taught!! What would you wish of me, (as Arnold Schwarzenegger) the ever impressive, (inside a cube) the long contained, (as a ventriloquist with a dummy) often imitated, (tosses the dummy aside) but never duplicated-- (He multiplies into multiple Dohko's who surround him.) Yup.

Dohko's: Duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, and duplicated.

Dohko: (Says it like a ring announcer at a boxing match.) Genie Of The Lamp! (Goes into Ed Sullivan) Right here direct from the lamp, right here for your enjoyment wish fulfillment. Thank you!

Saga: Whoa! Wish fulfillment?

Dohko: Three wishes to be exact. And ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes. (Turns into a slot machine, arm pulls down and three Genies appear in the windows.) That's it--three. (The three genie caballeros come out of the slot.) Uno, dos, tres. (Changes into b/w Groucho Marx.) No substitutions, exchanges or refunds. (The duck drops with the secret word "Refunds.'

Saga: (To Chimchar) Now I know I'm dreaming.

Dohko: Master, I don't think you quite realize what you've got here! So why don't you just ruminate whilst I illuminate the possibilities.

Dohko:

Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves

Scheherazadie had a thousand tales

But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeve

You got a brand of magic that never fails!

Dohko produces 40 thieves who surround Saga with swords. Dohko appears in his vest, then sticks his arms out and boxes the thieves into submission.

Dohko:

You got some power in your corner now

Some heavy ammunition in your camp

You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how

See all you gotta do is rub that lamp

And I'll say

Boxing ring appears, Saga in the corner, being massaged by Dohko. Then, Dohko turns into a pile of fireworks and explodes and fires at one of our heroes. Then Dohko appears inside the lamp and grabs Saga's hand and rubs the lamp with it.

Dohko:

Mister Saga sir

What will your pleasure be?

Let me take your order, jot it down

You ain't never had a friend like me

No no no!

Dohko produces a table and chairs, then writes down things on a notepad, like a waiter.

Dohko:

Life is your restaurant And I'm your maitre' d!

C'mon whisper what it is you want

You ain't never had a friend like me.

Dohko appears as a plate of chicken, then returns to normal, but enlarges his ear to listen to Saga. Finally, he explodes into four duplicate Dohkos.

Dohko:

Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service

You're the boss, the king, the shah!

Say what you wish, it's yours!

True dish How about a little more Baklava?

The Dohkos give him a shave, haircut and manicure, then Saga appears in a comfy chair (eh?) surrounded by the treasure and being fanned by women. The Genie appears and fills the screen with baklava.

Dohko:

Try some of column 'A'

Try all of column 'B'

I'm in the mood to help you dude

You ain't never had a friend like me

Saga rises up on a column of food with a giant A on top, then jumps to another column with a B on top. He falls off and is caught by a cushion held by Dohko. He opens his mouth, and his tongue turns into a staircase. A miniature Dohko dressed like a magician comes out. The mini Dohko does a little dance with Dohko's two giant hands. At the end, they surround the mini Dohko and squish him into nothing.

Dohko:

Can your friends do this?

Do your friends do that?

Do your friends pull this out their little hat

Can your friends go poof!

Well looky here

Can your friends go Abracadabra, let 'er rip

And then make the sucker disappear?

The Genie pulls off his head, duplicates it, then juggles them. He tosses them to Saga, who juggles with one hand and spins one of the heads on his fingertip like a basketball. He tosses the heads back onto the Genie, who proceeds to try and pull himself out of a hat at his base. He spirals around and around until he turns into a white rabbit. The rabbit transforms into a purple dragon (very reminiscent of Figment from EPCOT Center). The dragon breathes fire, which turns into three Harem girls, who dance around Saga. Just as he begins to enjoy them, they disappear.

Dohko:

So don't you sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed

I'm here to answer all your midday prayers

You got me bona fide, certified

You got a genie for a charge? d'affaires!

I got a powerful urge to help you out

So what you wish I really want to know

You got a wish that's three miles long, no doubt

So all you gotta do is rub like so, and oh!

Dohko imitates what he is calling Saga, then turns into a certificate which rolls up and surrounds Saga. Dohko pulls a list {written in Arabic} out of Saga's ear, which he uses to rub his behind like drying off after a shower.

Dohko:

Mister Saga, sir, have a wish or two or three

I'm on the job, you big nabob

You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend

You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend

You ain't never...had a... friend... like...me!

You ain't never had a friend like me!

The dancing Harem girls reappear, and Saga leans in to kiss one. She turns into the Genie, who zaps four dancing elephants into existence. To the other direction, he zaps in four dancing camels, and a grand finale dancing number ensues, as well as our Heroes dancing along as well. Chimchar grabs as much gold as he can, but the Genie wraps everything up in a cyclone and zaps it away until they're all back in the cave. Dohko has a neon "APPLAUSE" sign on his back. Chimchar turns his hat over and sees that it is empty.

Dohko: So what'll it be, master?

Saga: You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want?

Dohko: (As William F. Buckley) Ah, almost. There are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos

Saga: Like?

Dohko: Ah, rule number one: I can't kill anybody. (He slices his head off with his finger.) So don't ask. Rule two: I can't make anyone fall in love with anyone else. (Head turns into a big pair of lips which kiss Saga.) You little punim, there. (Lies flat, then gets up and transforms into a zombie.) Rule three: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture, (He grabs Saga and shakes him) I don't like doing it! (He poofs back to normal.) Other than that, you got it!

Saga: (Looks at Chimchar as if plotting) Ah, provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? (To Chimchar) Some all powerful genie--can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Chimchar--he probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we're gonna have to find a way out of here--

They start to leave, but a big blue foot stomps down in front of them.

Dohko: Excuse me? Are you lookin' at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up, did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you're walkin' out on me? (Gets madder and madder) I don't think so, not right now. You're getting your wishes, so sit down! (They all get on Carpet. Dohko takes the form of a stewardess, with lots of arms pointing out the exits.) In case of emergency, the exits are here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet. Weeee'rrrrrreee...outta here..

The Carpet and passengers fly out of the sand in the desert and off into the distance.