It was expected, from the beginning I knew. But, a part of me didn't want to believe it. I wanted to hope. I wanted to dream. But, here I sit.

Tears of heartbreak.
Room trashed.
Clothes torn.
Posters burned.
Skin ripped.
Blood seeping into my gray sweater.

It was bound to happen. So why am I so hurt? I knew the day would come.... but, I never thought today of all days. My birthday....

———-*********————

I'd just arrived back at my apartment. I was looking through my notifications on twitter when, it happened....

At first I didn't want to even consider.

But, I believe it fully now. Especially with his little announcement. I couldn't dismiss that. I have to wake up and realize that this was reality.

*******-****-***-**-*——
The article read: "BIG NEWS!!!"

Today, Friday June 34th 2038, Akira Fudo known as "Devilman" has confirmed he is dating Miki Makimura known as "Racer".

The two idols have decided two come out in public with their relationship. They have been dating supposedly for 5 years. Knowing this, that means they have been dating since both idols debut.

If you don't believe me... You'll surely believe "Devilman" himself.

__________^______^____^_____ Scroll for video _______^___

The video was him.... I can remember his voice so clearly. It's still ringing in my head.

He stood behind a podium on a stage, Miki by his side. Flashing lights of cameras. They both held each other.That's when they began to speak.

"Hello everyone. It's me Akira Fudo AKA Devilman."

"Hi everybody! It's your Oneesan, MIKI MAKIMURA! AKA RACER!" She gave a cutesy type of pose.

Akira chuckled. His smile and eyes bright as he looked at her. He wrapped an arm around her waist, going back to his serious expression.

"Today, I wanted to address those claims that Miki and I are dating.... They are true. I confirm those claims. We've been dating for 5 years now. Yesterday was our anniversary."

Miki grabbed the microphone.

"I also wanted to announce we're engaged!!!! I'm so happy! It's been a long road with Akira-kun. I love him with all my heart, but that won't be enough. I love him more than anything in this existence and beyond. He's my light. He's my smile. He's my everything. Thank you Akira-kun, without you I wouldn't be everyone's Oneesan. I love you Aki~."

Akira grinned, taking the microphone back from Miki.

"I love you too Miki-chan! I'm glad I proposed to you. I'm glad I dated you. I'm glad I asked you out that rainy day. I'm glad we were best friends. I'm glad we met. I'm glad you were brought into this world. I love only you. You've been the motivation to all my work. Without you I would still be lonely. But, here we are, soon to be married. I can't wait for you to become Miki Fudo. I love you more than life MiMi~."

The two shared a kiss that disgusted me. Then they said their goodbyes and left the stage. People cheered for them. Some fans crying in the same pain as me.

That's when the video ended.

—————*————-****—————****————-*
After the video I was so heartbroken, I cried in agony. Looking at the walls that contained his pictures, his smiling face.

His smirk, his pout, his arms stretched out to make a heart for the camera. They surrounded me, screaming and taunting me. They laughed and mocked me from all sides.

"YOU SHOULD'VE KNOWN HE WOULD GET MARRIED! IT WASN'T GOING TO BE YOU OBVIOUSLY! YOU'RE TOO DAMN UGLY! BUT MIKI... SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!"

They threw things like this at me. The words piercing holed into my already cracked heart.

The insults burning like fire.

I was drowning in self hate. Drowning in pain. Drowning in sadness.

Sinking to the abyss of darkness. The murky water filling my lungs.

I should've known. What good am I anyway? I shouldn't be hurt. It's not like he was going to marry me one day. It was 1 in 7,000,000,000. Yet, I still held onto a shard of hope.

Shard oh shard. Why do you cause me pain? You continue to stab my heart.

I don't want to hold onto this burdening love anymore.
Set me free.
Let me be happy.
Let me smile and support him.
If he's happy I'm happy.

Let me accept that.
...

But, the shard continues to go deeper into my quivering heart. The tip of the glassy hope appearing on the other side of my heart.

Heart... dearest heart.

How are you?
Does it hurt?
I'm sure it does.... I don't know why I even asked.

You're racing heart.
You're breaking heart.
You're dying heart.

Don't do this to me. Let go of me. Disappear to ash. I don't want to love again.

Let me go.

-0-

When I looked around me, my room was a wreck. I was in tears. My arms bled, soaking the sleeves of my sweater. The once gray, now a dark red.

There was a puddle of my crimson river around me. I looked into it, seeing my horrendous face.

I was a monster.

How could I be so selfish? I shouldn't want him to myself. I should want his happiness.

Miki appeared in my head, and I gagged. She made me sick.

She's not cute. She's ugly. I hate her. I hate her for stealing him away. She looks like a whore. I wish she'd die. I wish he'd breakup with her.

I hated her for this. I hated her so damn much.

"Why can't he be mine?" My words broke the ear splitting silence.

I love him.
I loved him.
He loves her.
She loves him.

There was never a place for me in his heart.
There never will be a place.
I'm just a speck in millions of faces.

I'm nobody to him.
He doesn't even know me.

It hurts so much....
It hurt...

It was dumb of me.
Of course he wouldn't want me.
I'm hideous.

(Y/n) hung limply from the ceiling above. Her body swaying in the breeze of the open window. Eyes gray and dull. Tear streaks on her face. Lips chapped.

The rope held her neck tightly.

Death holding her in an everlasting embrace.

She was loved. She was happy. She was at peace.

Though, I do feel bad for her mother. Once she finds out her only child is dead... man that will suck.

Too bad the mother was divorced. Too bad she has no friends or family.

But, Akira was happy.

He held his new wife in his arms, taking her over the threshold. Their laughs of joy and excitement filling the house.

If only he knew, that his fan was dead.... and there was more deaths to come.

~~~~~End~~~~~~~

Well, I'll be honest.... I've been wanting to update. But, things happen. If you read my last update a lot happened.

I'm back though. I'll be updating my other book too. Since I was gone so long I'll update everyday this four day weekend.

사랑해요,Lylic**