A- Aftercare

He eats his partners after sex. So, no aftercare needed.

B- Body Part

Kuro likes his eyes (creepy yellow eyes) while Shiro likes his arms.

Zetsu doesn't care about specific body parts. They're all tasty to him.

C- Cum

Kuro's is runny and black, not unlike squid ink.
Shiro's is runny and white, not unlike White Out.

D- Dirty Secret

Zetsu will split into his separate entities and they will pass long hours having nasty dirty sex with each other. Kuro usually doms Shiro but on very rare occasions he'll allow Shiro to top him.

They both crave Obito's ass and plot together on how to get it.

E- Experience

10/10 with each other but 2/10 with other people. Zetsu frightens most people and with Madara keeping him under wraps by spying, he doesn't get many chances to meet and seduce other people.

F- Favorite Position

Anal doggy with each other. Again, the poor bean is often left to his own devices or he's busy staying hidden for the sake of intel.

G- Goofy

Kuro doesn't know how to be fun and goofy and he often abuses Shiro for being more sociable and open. As a result, Zetsu is often a conflicting mess.

H- Hair

He only has hair on his head.

I- Intimacy

For Kuro, sex is a means to an end and an excuse to dominate someone weaker than him.

For Shiro, sex is a fun and loving way to show others that he's not the monster they think he is.

J- Jerk Off

Kuro doesn't do that and Shiro will indulge occasionally when work permits.

K- Kink

Aside from sex with each other and wanting Obito's ass? Kuro enjoys "painting" Shiro black.

L- Location

Anywhere there is woods or plant life. They're products of the outdoors and feel most at home there. They don't like using the base because of everyone else milling around and possibly walking in on them.

M- Motivation

Kuro takes what he wants when he wants.

Shiro likes to flirt, maybe a soft touch here, a kind word there...

N- NO

Nothing is off limits to this guy. He will deliver your fantasy, whatever it is.

O- Oral

Shiro loves to give while Kuro likes to receive. Zetsu can go either way.

P- Pace

It depends on which half is the more dominant one in the session. Kuro likes fast and hard while Shiro likes traditional "love making".

Q- Quickie

Because of his secretive nature, Zetsu doesn't indulge in quickies. Everything must be planned down to the minute because if Madara or Obito thinks he's slacking off he's in for a world of pain.

R- Risk

He's a master spy so he knows how to minimize risk. That being said, he doesn't go out of his way to be risky or indulge in risky behaviour.

S- Stamina

As long as he's fed and watered he can go for however long and however many times you want or need.

T- Toy

They're each other's toy. They've used branches and other phallic objects on each other but haven't used actual sex toys. Shiro is curious while Kuro could care less.

U- Unfair

Denying them when they've targeted you is what they deem unfair. And Obito walking around with his sexy ass in those Akatsuki pants...that's unfair!

V- Volume

Kuro is quiet while Shiro is loud. Zetsu himself is in between.

X- X-Ray

Kuro: 8" of black thorny cock.
Shiro: 8" of white creamy cock.

Y- Yearning

He's too busy working for the Akatsuki and Madara/Obito to think about it much but if an opportunity presents itself (the wounded left on the battlefield for example) he will take advantage of it.

Z- Zzz

He's half plant so he doesn't require much sleep. Usually he'll just eat his "lover" and moves on to the next task he has to accomplish.