Neko Sasori above! ^^

Me: Hi my kittens! Today we have--
Obi: Tobi is here Lizzy-sama!
Me: Your'e early again Anko.
Obi: Who is Anko Lizzy-sama?
Me: No one. Now can you get the disclaimer done?
Obi: Sure. Whatever. Liz doesn't own us, only Hiko and Saiko and any other OC's that she comes up with.
Me: Obito! You ruined the mood, you dumbass!
Obi: Gomenasai Lizzy-sama! Tobi is sorry! Lizzy-sama owns no one but Hiko-sempai and Saiko-sempai! ^^
Me: Much better. Buh-bye mah kittehs! <3

My P. O. V.~~~~~~~

I woke up, yawning. I rolled out bed, kissing the carpet 'Good Morning'. I grumbled inaudible insults, hauling myself to my feet. I took a quick shower, brushed my hair, and threw on some clothes. Today's outfit consisted of a red tanktop, ripped bootcut jeans, and a black leather jacket with combat boots. I walked down the stairs, through the hallway, and into the kitchen. Leaving my long, black hair down resulted in a curtain around my face when I lay my head down on the kitchen table. About five minutes later, a half-asleep Saiko stumbled in the kitchen. She started making me some coffee, mumbling things like "Stupid pyromaniac cosplayer." and " Douche-bagging weasel." She put a small amount of vodka in my coffee along with creamer and sugar before setting the mug in front of my face. I grabbed it in one hand, sipping the caffeinated beverage drowsily. Saiko made her own cup of coffee-minus the alcohol, starting on breakfast. Eventually, the 'Akatsuki' walked into the room, the 'Uchiha's' sitting on either side of me. 'Tobi' started blabbering loudly about something stupid, until he asked me if he could have some of my coffee. I answered with silence, which he took as a "Go ahead Tobi, I totally want you to have a vodka-spiked caffeinated beverage! ^^" His hand came too close to my coffee, so I grabbed his wrist with my free hand and threw him over the table and into the opposite wall. I calmly sipped my coffee once more. 

"Oh, I forgot to mention. Fuck with Hiko before she finishes her morning coffee at your own risk." Saiko informed everyone, putting her coffee mug in the sink. 'Tobi' groaned in pain, twitching severely. "B-But... Tobi is a... Good boy..." He mumbled. Five minutes later, I also put my mug in the sink. "Help! Tobi can't feel his arm!" The injured man-child complained. I stalked over to him and inspected his arm. "Dislocated." I mumbled, frowning. I pulled him to his feet, tightly gripping his arm. I looked him in the eye, "On 3, I'll fix your arm." 'Tobi' nodded happily. "Three!" I shouted, popping his shoulder back into place. He yelped in pain, gripping his shoulder. "Tobi wants to know what happened to 1 & 2!" He cried. "They said "Fuck you!"." I snarled, returning to my seat. A plate of eggs and bacon, covered in maple syrup was pushed in front of me. I ate happily, waking up some more. After everyone had finished breakfast, I called them all to the living room. I stood in the middle of a freaky circle of cosplayers, Saiko next to me.

 "If you people are the real deal, I will set up house rules. If not, I will kick you all out of my house." I said. No one said a word, so I continued. "I will need proof you are the real Akatsuki." Pein raised an orange eyebrow at this. "And what would you like demonstrated?" He asked me. "Deidara's mouth hands, Hidan's immortality, Itachi's Sharingan, and what is under Tobi's mask." I said. He nodded in approval. I motioned for the Barbie to come up. He did, and showed me his palms. There were thin lines, which opened up to reveal functioning mouth hands. I poked one, and it licked me. I nodded, and 'Deidara' switched with 'Hidan'. Saiko handed me a cleaver out of nowhere, and I tested its sharpness on the mans neck. His head rolled onto the floor, body falling limp. Several curses came out of 'Hidan's' mouth, and I shrugged. 

"He could just be another Jashinist, cosplaying as Hidan." I mumbled to my friend, who nodded in agreement. "But the Dei cosplayer was pretty realistic." She said. 'Itachi' wordlessly walked up to us, flashing his Sharingan. "Eh, anyone can do that." And last-but not least-, 'Tobi'. He cheerfully skipped up to us, and Saiko put up an illusionary shield. "Take the mask off, man-child." I said, cracking my knuckles. His gloved hand reached up, slipping his mask off slowly. I circled 'Tobi' like a hawk, and sighed. After 'Tobi' put his mask back on, Saiko let the shield down. I rubbed a hand over my face, sighing once more. "Iv'e decided you all are the real deal. You can stay." The more emotional ones cheered, the less emotional ones smirked, or did nothing at all. "But~ There are gonna be rules to follow~" Saiko sang. 

"#1- No explosions, Jutsu's, human puppet's, or unauthorized sacrificing/cannibalism. #2- NO sex WHATSOEVER. #3- When both me and Saiko are gone, Pein and Konan are in charge. NO MATTER WHAT. #4- If I find anything broken, you will pay. Dearly. #5- Everyone will be assigned chores to earn their keep, and if they are not done, you will pay the consequences. #6- Touch mine or Saiko's shit at your own risk. #7- DO NOT wake me up unless it's an ABSOLUTE EMERGENCY. #8- Someone will normally come with me or Saiko on our jobs unless me and her go together. That is all." I then jumped onto the couch, flipping open a Kuroshitsuji manga. "I'm going to tell you all something right now. If any of these rules are broken, you will be violently dismembered, slowly sacrificed, or severely maimed by Hiko, seeing as she failed to mention this earlier." She said happily as Hidan was sewn together by Kakuzu. After a few hours of peace and nothing going wrong(surprisingly), a large eagle flew through an open skylight. 

I sat up, the bird landing on my shoulder. It stuck out a talon, dropping a large envelope into my hand, before flying away. Kisame-who happened to be sitting next to me at the time-looked over my shoulder as I opened the envelope.  About $5,000 in cash fell into my lap along with a note and a file. The note said this: "SCARlet GlAre, I HaVE A joB FOr YoU. THe INCludED INformATIOn iS oN yOU're nEw TARgeT. BRinG HiS HEaD BY MiDNIGht, aNd yOu wIll RecIEvE 15,000 DollARS bY SuNseT TOMOrroW. -BoSs" I then threw the slip of paper in the air, where it spontaneously combusted-leaving no ashes behind. I slipped the money into a hidden pocket, and opened the file. As usual, it was in an un-crackable code. I knew it like my own name though, and easily read through it. I had to assassinate a drug dealer-who is also a rapist-and have his head by tonight at midnight. 

Easy enough. I can find him at Greenland Port, directly off of Sapphire Boulevard, warehouse 6. His name is Rory Dixon. "Oi, bitch. Iv'e a new job and I'm leaving in 20. Pick out who's coming with me while I prepare, and get them ready." I didn't let her answer as I left for my room. I slipped on a red, long sleeved shirt, and a darker red leather jacket with rolled up sleeves. I changed my ripped bootcut jeans for black leggings, and put on knee-high red combat boots. I walked into the bathroom. I applied black eyeliner and blood red lipstick. I temporarily dyed my bangs and the tips of my hair red as well. I pulled my hair into a braided ponytail, and left for my weapons room. I pulled on black and red gloves, and put on a black utility belt. 

I filled the belt with throwing knives and grenades. I strapped an ammunition strip over my chest, grabbing an rifle. I grabbed my katana as well, putting it and the sheath on my hip. I also slipped on my purple and white wolf mask, walking into the living room. I opened up a book on the coffee table, and pulled several different poisons out of the secret pocket in there. I turned around, fixing them to my utility belt as well. I was met with a redhead, wearing an outfit that matched mine. He was holding a katana, getting advice from Saiko. He slipped the katana into its sheath, blinking at me through a mask like mine. "Well, let's get going. We don't have all day." I said, walking to the front door.

Sasori P. O. V.~~~~~~~

"Oi, Tobi! Be quiet! Un. I'm trying to sleep!" "But Deidara-sempai~ Tobi is a good boy~" "I don't care! Un. If that woman wasn't so scary, I'd make you into art! And art is a bang! Un." I was woken by Tobi and the brat arguing, and I hit them over the head to shut them up. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, my tail curling up. I stood, and wandered into the kitchen, the rest of them following behind me.  I sat down across from Hiko, who looked like she was still asleep. She was sipping a large cup of coffee, like Leader after a long night of paperwork. Tobi and Itachi sat on either side of her, Itachi being quiet and Tobi blabbering on and on. "Hiko-chan~ Can Tobi have some of your coffee? Because Tobi is a good boy!" He asked. Hiko was silent, taking another sip. Tobi reached for her mug, and she gripped his wrist. She sent him flying through the air, over me, and into the far wall. 

Tobi landed mask-first into the wall, and slid down comically. She acted like this was normal, not saying a word. She ignored his groans of pain, acting as if the twitching man-child did not exist. "Oh, I forgot to mention. Fuck with Hiko before she finishes her morning coffee at your own risk." Saiko said, putting her mug in the sink and preparing a large breakfast. I nodded in understanding. If anyone came within five feet of Leader-except for Konan-san-before he was done with his coffee, he would 'Shinra Tenshi!' them across the room. After a few moments, Hiko got up and placed her huge mug in the sink. "Help! Tobi can't feel his arm!" Tobi cried, holding his shoulder. Hiko walked over to him, standing him up. "Dislocated." She mumbled, frowning. She stared him in the eye. "On 3, I'll fix your arm." Tobi nodded happily. "Three!" Hiko shouted, popping his shoulder back into place. Tobi yelped in pain, gripping his shoulder. "Tobi wants to know what happened to 1 & 2!" He cried. "They said "Fuck you!"." Hiko snarled, returning to her chair. 

A plate of eggs and bacon, covered in maple syrup was set in front of her by Saiko. Hiko ate happily, seeming more lively. After we all had finished breakfast, Hiko called us all to the living room. "If you people are the real deal, I will set up house rules. If not, I will kick you all out of my house." She ordered, Saiko standing next to her as we sat. We all stayed quiet, and she continued. "I will need proof you are the real Akatsuki." Leader raised an orange eyebrow at this. "And what would you like demonstrated?" He asked Hiko. "Deidara's mouth hands, Hidan's immortality, Itachi's Sharingan, and what is under Tobi's mask." She replied. Leader nodded in approval. Hiko motioned for the brat to come up. He did, and showed her his hands. She nodded, and the brat switched places with Hidan. Saiko handed Hiko a cleaver out of nowhere, and she chopped his head off. His head rolled onto the floor, body falling limp. Several curses came out of Hidan's mouth, and she shrugged. 

"He could just be another Jashinist, cosplaying as Hidan." Hiko mumbled to her friend, who nodded in agreement. "But the Dei cosplayer was pretty realistic." Saiko said. Itachi wordlessly walked up to the pair, flashing his Sharingan. "Eh, anyone can do that." Saiko said. 'How can anyone do that other than an Uchiha?' And finally Tobi. He cheerfully skipped up to the girls, and the trio seemed to disappear. After a minute or two, the three came back into view. Tobi skipped happily to his seat, and Hiko adressed us. "Iv'e decided you all are the real deal. You can stay." The brat, Tobi, Kisame, and Hidan cheered loudly, the rest of us smirking or not doing anything. "But~ There are gonna be rules to follow~" Saiko sang. "#1- No explosions, Jutsu's, human puppet's, or unauthorized sacrificing/cannibalism. #2- NO sex WHATSOEVER. #3- When both me and Saiko are gone, Pein and Konan are in charge. NO MATTER WHAT. #4- If I find anything broken, you will pay. Dearly. #5- Everyone will be assigned chores to earn their keep, and if they are not done, you will pay the consequences. #6- Touch mine or Saiko's shit at your own risk. #7- DO NOT wake me up unless it's an ABSOLUTE EMERGENCY. #8- Someone will normally come with me or Saiko on our jobs unless me and her go together. That is all." Hiko then jumped onto the couch, flipping open a book with a butler and a short kid on the cover. 

"I'm going to tell you all something right now. If any of these rules are broken, you will be violently dismembered, slowly sacrificed, or severely maimed by Hiko, seeing as she failed to mention this earlier." Saiko said happily as Hidan was sewn together by Kakuzu. I was reading an interesting book called 'Asylum' when a large eagle flew through an open skylight. Hiko sat up, the bird landing on her shoulder. It stuck out a talon, dropping a large envelope into her hand, before flying back out the way it came. Hiko then threw a small slip of paper in the air, where it caught fire-leaving no ashes behind. She slipped a large amount of money into her jacket and opened a fat file. She quickly skimmed through it, before setting it on the coffee table. She shirked to herself, standing. "Oi, bitch. Iv'e a new job and I'm leaving in 20. Pick out who's coming with me while I prepare, and get them ready." She left without receiving an answer, and Saiko looked at us. 

"Who wants to go?" She asked. No one volunteered. "I guess I'll have to volunteer someone myself. Sasori, your'e coming with me." Before I could open my mouth, I was being dragged up a set of stairs. Literally. She took me into a room, and dressed me in a red and black outfit. She handed me a katana and an odd object she called a 'gun'. "These are your weapons for helping out Hiko. The pistol is only for emergencies. You just flip this, aim, and pull the trigger. Go for the head or any large arteries and you'll do fine." She explained, dragging me back down the stairs by the collar of my opened jacket. I put the katana on my hip, and the 'pistol' in my a holster given to me. She handed me a purple and white wolf ANBU mask, and I put it on. Hiko came down with a large thing on her back, a katana on her hip, and a ANBU mask similar to mine. 

I also realized she was wearing a matching outfit while I tested the katana out. She dug out poison vials from a book on the coffee table-the one I was reading earlier-and some throwing knives. She turned to me, her blood-red eyes shining through the eye holes in her mask. "Well, let's get going. We don't have all day." She said, walking to the door.