Kisame:
In a kind of awkward criss-cross-what-the-fuck-am-I-doing-with-my-limbs position, you turned to the beautiful blue man in front of you, who was missing his shirt only.

   "How are you only missing one article of clothing while I'm in my undergarments? I'm supposed to be better at cards than you," pouted
(Y/N).

   Kisame gave a light hearted smile and set down his hand. There laying flat right in front of you was three aces and a king.

"Would you mind taking off the bottoms first, shark bait?"

Itachi:
"Uhm... 'Tachi? You've got a little, er, friend visiting you..." Said (Y/N) cautiously, pointing at the growing strain in the fabric of his pants.

His onyx eyes flicked down to the affliction between his legs and thought, 'well damn, I was saving that for tonight'.

"Oh. I didn't notice." (I'm not sure if this is ooc bc I'm fetus so sorry if it is)

(Y/N) thought to herself carefully. Was she satisfied from the last time they were active? Or was it too long ago? I mean, let's be honest, Itachi is the sex god. SEX GOD I TELL YOU! How would you satisfy him (jk reader-chan you're perfect)?

With a mischievous smirk dancing across your lips you flipped onto his lap in a matter of nanoseconds and leaned near the side of his head so he could hear you better. Legs straddling his sides, chest dangerously flush against his, you made sure you looked seductive leaning towards him.

"How about a game of strip poker to help your friend feel more at home?"

Long story short, you woke up the next morning to Kisame bursting into your shared bedroom, screaming about being late for a mission and blushing at your naked spooning bodies.
(A/N ok I apologize that was a little R+17 whoops)

Hidan:
Knowing him, it's pretty obvious he'd ask for it quite a bit, and you gave it to him without question, but you couldn't help but resist just a little bit, mostly because strip poker was time consuming and you don't really have a lot of relaxation time as it is. The only time you let up was the reason why you were trying and failing to walk correctly at the moment.

It's a good thing you're in the Akatsuki, or else you'd be so sour right now you wouldn't even be able to wriggle around.

With a light grunt your lover came to, but the first thing that came out of his mouth was "Oi, bitch! The fuck are you at?". So romantic, so, so lovely.

Your diaphragm wasn't exactly working right either ([gabbie show quote] she lost her voice from sucking too much dick), and so you couldn't exactly scream out to him "IM TRYING TO WALK RIGHT NOW MKAY DONT BE SO SALTY", but what you could do was- well, not much to be honest. So you say down at the table and drank coffee while listening to the yelling of Hidan who thought you were giving him silent treatment for being too rough. And that, my friends, is true love!

Kakuzu:
One word: Hidan. For the Akatsuki anniversary (you choose the year I don't know if you want them to be old or not) everyone decided to throw a little party, so of course Hidan picks the dirtiest ones. The whole night was filled with awkward memories of spin the bottle (Rhi-chan got up to 2nd base with Deidara ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)], 7 minutes in heaven, truth or dare, and-you guessed it- strip poker. I'll leave the rest to your imagination (NO BUM CHEEKY SECKS MKAY SAS-GAY)~

Deidara:
Okay, but Dei is legit innocent smol child, but I'll do this anyways.

Mhm. Ahem. AHUHEM (lmao sorry my throat never actually clears it just doesn't work and I end up coughing out my esophagus). Where do I start?

The course of this craziness all began because of dear Dei-chan's sexual tension. Combine that with a game of Sonic Boom 52 Pick Up and some organic milk bags bouncing around the plane of your glorious chest and you get (you guessed it) one big Dei-Dei erection coming right up, shooting sky high!

The game itself was a little awkward because of the little things you could do between bits, and whenever you took off an article of clothing he'd start to stare, but for the most part the two of you were content with your experience.

Sasori:
Why, oh why was she so curious about Hiroko? If dear (Y/N)-chan hadn't stepped into that damned puppet, then chakra string bindings would not be looped across (and in between ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)] and around your entire, and may I add bare, vessel. The formed stitches around your mouth and even started to wind their way up into your folds like some type of weird thong wedgie (I'm so sorry I'm immature af and am so bad at this beggin for forgiveness rn guys lmao) but gave an amazing sense of satisfaction, pleasure wise.

(Y/N) just couldn't help but wonder where that card she had needed before was, for it would have meant the difference between the kinkiness happening at the moment (not that I have anything against it kinks r gud) and just simply having a nice cuddle session with the red haired tsundere-kuudere at your side.

Though you couldn't see him too well from the angle you were in, you could definitely feel a hot breath near you collarbone. He twisted his neck a bit to reach your line of sight and held up the card that took the last bit of cotton from your beautifully sculpted being.

"Looking for this?"

Tobi/Obito:
Down the halls, running( so fast it looked like his feet turned into fucking atomic molecules like wtf how does he do that) towards the shared bedroom of you two Tobi decided to open up about all of his kinks to the entire Akatsuki.

"(Y/N)-chan, (Y/N)-chan! Tobi found that deck of cards and can of whipped cream you asked for! See? Tobi is a very good boy right now, a good boy, really!" You looked over to the widely open door in the process of changing into lingerie.

You took a straight second to blink a couple of times, then make a head-splitting so-loud-it-could-shatter-a-window screech, alerting the whole Akatsuki that everything was as it normally is (like plz if you say it's not you're lying).

Well, the whipped cream bottle is empty now, it was all eaten off your AAHEMN *cough cough*.

Pein:
All that could be seen was shards of strategically placed metal poking through skin at the moment.

Or at least all you could.

Like, seriously people HIS DICK IS PIERCED. I REPEAT

HIS DICK IS FUCKING PIERCED.

Now, you were quite sure that had not been there the last time you two were intimate, so either he got it done without you knowing or he got it done without you knowing.

Well either way you knew it was going to tear you up inside, literally.

Note to self- but new deck of cards, original were ruined from happy juice.

(A/N) Phew!

This is the new co-author, SophieTheSushiRoll here!

Hope you enjoyed this, writing it got a tad uncomifrtable but overall I'm happy!

Just wanted to say to everyone in really honored to be writing on here, and hope to have lots of fun with this in the future! Arigstogozaimazu!

Until next time you guys,
Sophie-chan, out!