All was silent in the room, not a single thing stirred. Aside from the Jashin-Knows how many S-rank criminals who were all arguing loudly while anxiously awaiting the arrival of Author-Chan, so they could get this damn interview over with and return to their beloved Y/N.

    The door creaked open slowly and a hush fell over the group, as they watched the one and only Author-Chan enter the room, closing the door loudly behind herself. She never was very subtle. She sat on her own chair, folded one leg over the other and began to shuffle through the cards containing their fate for the next chapter or so. Everyone continued to stare incredulously. 

    "What? Do I have something on my face?" Author-Chan asked, but no one answered. "Sheesh, tough crowd..." 

    "You're nothing like we expected..." Kisame buttered with a furrowed brow, leaning forward to get a better look at her. She waved her hand loftily.

    "Shut up." She then turned to the fourth wall, where the many Reader-Chan's were peering in anxiously, in anticipation, excitedly. Author-Chan even noticed one chewing a bread stick. "Ah, don't you just love memes? Anyway, let's get this interview underway!"

     Many collective nods passed through the crowd of Reader-Chan's, already being fed up with this blood long introduction. Author-Chan got carried away...

    "To get the ball rolling, Sarahbouras031 dares Hidan to sleep a night with Kakuzu." Author-Chan read from the card before discarding. "You see, we have a slight problem with that, it isn't night. However, with my author-ish magic..." She clicks her fingers and it's suddenly dark. Kakuzu stands to switch on the light, and in the center of the room is a large double bed.

    "Oh f**k no..." Hidan curses loudly, beginning to back up from the bed.

     "You think I like it any more than you do?" Kakuzu grumbles, throwing himself down on the bed with a defeated huff.

     "What the hell, old man?! You're just giving up!? We don't have to deal with this!" Hidan throws his arms around wildly while Deidara chuckles in the background. Kakuzu just reaches out and pulls Hidan onto the bed, trapping him in his arms.

"Just shut up!" Kakuzu hisses. 

    "What the f**k?! why are you-"

    "She bribed me. Now just sit still." Kakuzu glares down at the jashinist in his arms.

    "Oh yeah?! Well what do I get out of this?!" Hidan demands.

    "I'll go halves with you." Hidan considers the offer.

    "How much...?" Kakuzu leans down and whispers a ridiculously high number in Hidan's ear and his eye widen.

    "That much... Imagine all the hookers I could get with that amount of money..." He says thoughtfully. "Deal." He nods, going limp against Kakuzu, even nervously resting his head on the older mans shoulder.

-

    "Alrighty," Author-Chan continues. "The next dare is from Home_Of_Shadows and they dare Dei to dress up as Y/N and act like them, also to try to hit one of the guys, preferably Saso-Dana." Author-Chan discards that card too, while Deidara looks pensive.

    "Heh, you see... I don't have any of Y/N's clothes with me..." He scaratches the back of his head. "Oh no, looks like I can't do it!" He shrugs. Author-Chan clicks her fingers again and a door appears in the wall with a poof of smoke. "Don't tell me..."

    "Yep." Author-Chan unnecessarily shifts through the cards again. "Y/N's walk-in wardrobe, in you go!~" Dei sighs, standing and heading into the walk-in closet. Soon her returns in shorts, showing off his surprisingly beautiful legs, which are probably better than Author-Chan's, a band tee, and a H/C wig.

    "How am I supposed to act like her? She changes so much I just..." He shakes his head. "She's odd, but sweet, I guess."

    "I think you're forgetting the other part of the dare." A sadistic grin and shadow fall across Author-Chan's face and Deidara pales, turning to Sasori, who is glaring daggers into him. He nervously makes his way up to Sasori, who stands up to meet him. 

    "I-I'm sorry, Dana!" He instantly apologizes, before he raises his hand for a slap, but before it can land, Sasori's hand clamps around his wrist. "D-Dana!"

    "If you were actually Y/N, you might get away with it. But you..." He looks at Deidara in disdain. "Not a chance." He twists Deidara's wrist, and he falls to the floor in agony, not even able to get back to his feet to change into his own clothes. Author-Chan wants to help, but is too tsundere and doesn't want to show her bias, so just watches blankly. she reaches the next card.

-

    Author-Chan's eye twitches as she reaches a red card amongst the stack of white ones. She glares through the screen after reading it. Her eye twitches.

    "From NeonBirdz, Author-Chan, I dare you to put for lemon flavored war heads in your mouth at once. Evil Laughter. Nice." She reads sourly, ironic. Laughs echo around the room and Author-Chan sighs. "I've been there, done that, I know that hell. Yet for some damn reason that I can't figure out, I actually went and bought these suckers, irl. I did it earlier! I put them in my mouth, I waited, I almost choked, then I spat them back out.. I genuinely did this after I got away from the preschool today! I legit did!" Author-Chan declares, leaping from her chair in excitement, before shivering and sitting back down again. "Ahem, do excuse me."

-

    "Also from NeonBirdz, I dare Pein to propose to Konan on April fool's day." Author-Chan looks at her watch as if that would help her tell what month it was, while Pein tried to slide down in between the cushions of the sofa. It was a good job Konan had just left the room and didn't hear the dare. "Welp, it's July, so what do you say we just sit around here for a few months?" Author-Chan says, clasping her hands neatly and confused murmurs rise in the room.

    "You're kidding." Hidan snorts and Author-Chan frowns.

    "No need to sound so disgusted. Sheesh." Author-Chan snaps her fingers and some how, it is suddenly the first of April and a red velvet ring box was planted in his palm. Konan finally re-entered the room and Pein paled. Konan stop seeing everyone looking between her and Pein.

    "What is that...?" She asks, looking at the box suspiciously. He sighs and gets down on one knee in front of her and a vibrant blush rises to her face as she takes one flustered step backwards.

    "Will you marry me?" He says, looking at her blankly and her mouth drops open in shock. She can say nothing, only nod. Pein scrunches his eyes up in embarrassment and opens the box which contains a slip of paper. She leans forward to read it. April fools. 

    She kicked him below the belt.

    He cried.

    And could also not walk for a week.

-

    "LeaTomlinson_12 asks, how is your day?" Author-Chan smiles at the thoughtful question when Hidan begins to answer. "NOT YOU!!!" She snarls, holding the card protectively to her chest.

    "Right now? Alright? I'm tired as hell, I've been looking after preschoolers all day, but it was fun. And how are you, Lea-Chan?"

-

    "Also, we have a dare/question from LeaTomlinson_12, Guys, if you absolutely had to chose, on the consequence of losing your powers, who in this room, excluding myself and Konan, who would you do the frickle frackle with?" Author-Chan attempts a sexy eyebrow wiggle. It looks more like she had a nervous twitch.  Everyone is silent before Itachi is finally brave enough to get the ball rolling.

    "Tobi. He's be easiest to top and at least it's shut him up for a while." Itachi nods and one by one, the others give their answers.

    "Hidan. A similar reason, maybe then he'd shut the hell up about Jashin-Sama for once." Kakuzu shrugs.

    "Hey!" Hidan says in outrage, pulling away from Kakuzu, whom he was still cuddled up against from a previous dare. "Well, I'd do Deidara. It's be less weird because he looks like a girl." Hidan finishes, directing a smug look towards Kakuzu, as if to say 'I didn't pick you, suck it!'.

    "I would also take the brat." Sasori says blankly. "Quick and easy."

    "W-Well, I'd take you, Dana! To show you aren't always in control!" Deidara exclaims, crossing his arms, trying to keep the pink off his cheeks.

    "I'd take Itachi." Pein says, and when asked why by Konan, he shrugs and simply says 'I just would'.

    "I'd do Itachi." Kisame scratches the back of his neck bashfully and no one feels the need to ask why.

    "I would take Pein." Zetsu says blankly. Author-Chan did try to ask why, but decided to drop the question after the 'I'll-Fooken-eet-yer' threat from Zetsu. 

    "And that wraps up our-"

    "Tobi hasn't spoken." Itachi butts in and Author-Chan rolls her eyes.

    "Do you really expect him to understand what any of this even means." Itachi gives a nod of understanding.

    "Tobi would do everyone because Tobi's a good boy!" 

    "Point proven. Now ladies, gentlemen and outaku's, this wraps up our interview! If you have any other questions or dares you're just burning to see done and answered, comment them, and if I get enough, I'll hold a second interview. Wouldn't you love that?!" Author-Chan turns to the Akatsuki members, who were cowering in the corner together.

    "They mean yes, they're just overcome by the awesomeness of finally seeing Author-Chan up close. (lol, do you mean horror? Yes. Thought so.) Also, if you haven't read the last chapter, I've been thinking about holding a "Miss Akatsuki" competition of sorts with the prizes being a one-shot of choice. It's only small, but I think it would be a good idea? Just for a little fun. Got an idea for a question I could ask? Idea for a different prize? Like of dislike the idea? Let me know! Author-Chan out!~"