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Thursday 25th August

Jordan Terrell had been awake since sunrise. She'd watched the great star creep over the horizon out of one of the triangular attic windows, almost in awe of the orange haze it swamped the landscape in. It gave her a special feeling; the feeling of being utterly alive and totally human, complete awareness.

In those moments she had realised a few things that she considered to be quite important. She had come to the realisation that Eli was dead. She'd known this for a long time but she'd hadn't quite accepted it yet. Even yesterday, laying flowers which she had unintentionally watered with her tears at his grave, she still hasn't accepted the fact.

But as she watched dawn break, as she heard the birds sing, as she felt that shiver up her spine, she finally accepted that Eli was dead. He was gone nothing would bring him back. Not reading his favourite books, nor moping in his favourite aisle. Eli Mensah was dead.

She felt like screaming it out. He's dead and he's never coming back!

He was gone. Gone, but not forgotten. She knew there was no way to escape her memories of him. She simply had to learn to live with them; to see them as good times instead of a reminder of how bad things seemed to be in the present. It was going to be hard but Jordan was willing to try.

She had also come to the realisation that she quite liked Dominic. He was chatty and thoughtful and smiled a lot. He had a nice smile, she decided.

Jordan had felt bad about just leaving him outside the library yesterday but she didn't have the strength to invite him in and Kaden would have objected anyway. He had looked so concerned and confused, in a way that irked Kaden but seemed to appeal to Jordan.

She wanted to go downstairs and speak to him, or even just sit near him but she was too nervous; what would she say to him? Would he even want to see her? Would they kiss again? Jordan crinkled up her nose as those questions and many others swirled around in her busy head.

"Your boyfriend's downstairs." she head her sister say from behind her.

Jordan shook her head softly, her gaze still glued to the horizon. The sun was high in the sky now, casting its hazy light over the countryside's many meadows and fields.

"Go talk to him." Kaden said, appearing next to her sister. "Who knows what he's doing on that bloody phone." she muttered.

"Maybe he's studying." Jordan said, nudging Kaden with her boney shoulder.

"For what? A quiz on Instagram filters?" Kaden scoffed, walking away from the window and back towards the stairs.

"Maybe he's into photography." Jordan replied with a shrug as she turned around to face her sister.

"Go see him, Jordan. It would probably be the highlight of his otherwise dull day if you did." Kaden said one last time before disappearing down the stairs.

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a/n: three cheers for character development lmao 🎉🎉🎉

Any thoughts on Jordan's thoughts?

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