It was pure luck that they were going by train. 

Ashlyn wasn't sure if she was able to sit next to Aiden in the bus for a few hours, even being in a compartment with him wasn't completely comfortable. They were together in an eight-seater, so there were lots of space and Ashlyn sat near door, meanwhile Aiden settled against the window. She sat there with her legs on a seat, cuddling a pillow and listening to calm Mother Mother's songs. Aiden was playing some silly mobile games with his head on Tyler's shoulder (who seemed irritated but let him be). 

And Ashlyn didn't mind it. It was like an airbag floating between them, and she needed it. And Aiden seemed to know, she appreciated it. However she was sure the rest of the group will notice soon, so she decided not to keep the distance. 

Now when it was a day, she knew she overreacted. It was a bit silly to panic like that - well, she was extremely inexperienced in feelings, understanding and expressing them. It wasn't so strange that she was scared of liking her friend more, was it? It felt awkward, but wasn't the end of the world, she could stand it. Even ignore. 

She was good at ignoring. 

She kept doing it for last three months, just since the thought sprouted somewhere deep in her mind. Approximately after his death. She had never realized she liked him so much until she cried into her pillow in the middle of the night at the thought of losing him. 

Back then it made her embarrassed, because she never got that close to anyone, but she explained to herself that this was what a normal friendship looked like. That was when she started to notice small, odd things about Aiden's behavior toward her that weren't similar to his attitude toward others. And when she noticed them, she couldn't stop thinking about them. 

Then she observed the change in her own perspective on things she used to consider normal. How her face blushed on a thought they were going to do something together, how her heart fluttered as his fingers brushed hers, how pleasant it was when he played with her hair, or even that it caught her attention when they were holding hands while running away from phantoms. At first she thought it was normal for friends  - but all the signs in heaven and earth convinced her otherwise. 

It was uncomfortable. It was stuck in the corner of her mind all the time. So she ignored it, doing her best to convince herself she was just too bad with her feelings and relations, and it would eventually pass. 

But it didn't. 

And she became more aware of the fact she didn't like him normally.  Not like others. Ashlyn cringed at the thought of hugging or holding hands with anyone else, and she didn't mind so much if Aiden did. She even caught herself a few times on thinking of kissing him, what made her heart flutter to the point it was uncomfortable. And there was a moment when she just accepted this uncomfortable fact that she liked him more than she wanted to. She had to accept it... 

...to ignore it. 

But two things were still creeping back, making her restless. 

What if he knows I like him?

And does he like me too? 

Now these questions hit her again, poking her brain, stabbing it, pulling and messing with her thoughts. Ashlyn knew he'd understand and not push away if he knew she liked him. It was him who wanted to be her friend in the first place. She could blame him for making her like him. 

But she had no clue what to do if he liked her back or how to find it out. This whole "liking" thing was just so confusing and awkward. So, since those thoughts made her restless, she decided not to think. Not about this at least, she could figure it all later. She knew she kept putting off inconvenient things for later, but... there was no point in rush, besides she just needed some more time to work it out. 

Right? 

Ugh, whatever.

Ashlyn turned off her headphones, with an unpleasant feeling she's dragging facing her feelings again, and looked at her friends. Logan, Tyler and Ben played cards on a small table, Aiden moved to the floor - with one eye on the Rubik's cube that he was solving in a chessboard pattern - and with the other eye following the course of the game. Taylor was reading some romance webcomic with a flushed face.

Ashlyn looked at the boys, who were slamming cards on the table with surprising speed. The game was about getting rid of cards, putting them into three piles. The catch was that when two identical cards came together on the piles at the same time, they had to shout "stress". The person or persons who didn't do it, received all the cards from the piles. (I love this game!! a/n)

"Log is a cheater!" Tyler snorted and Logan started to shake his head. His glasses almost fell. "Ben, you're a cheater too! You're both two damn cheaters."

"It's not possible to cheat in this game", Logan protested. 

"It is! of course it is!" 

"You say so." 

"Ben- I saw you put three cards simultaneously!!!" Tyler yelled. 

Ben send him an angry glance, too busy to type. 

"I's against the rules!" 

"I hate this game", Logan groaned. 

Aiden giggled, throwing done Rubix cube to the corner and reached for a sudoku magazine. 

"YOU'RE ALL CHEATERS!" Tyler was offended "Who do I have to live with?!"

"Shut up", Taylor slapped her brother in an arm and his cards scattered on a floor. 

"Taylor, you little- ughhhh!" Tyler looked like an overgrown furious chicken. 

"I'm not 'ughhhh', I'm Taylor" Taylor informed him without taking her eyes off her phone screen. "Choose your words wisely, young man, or you'll end up badly." 

"Buggers! Fuckers! Stop!" Tyler ignored her, shouting at boys who kept playing. 

"Stop the F-bombs, half-wit", Aiden admonished him. 

"Piss off."

"Stress!" Logan suddenly yelled, and Ben slammed his fist on the table instead of using his voice. 

"I said stop", Tyler growled. "I got distracted."

"You take all the cards", dispassionate voice came from Ben's phone as he reached for a pile and handed it to Tyler. 

"It's not fair. I'm not taking this!" 

"You were the one who wanted to play", Aiden gave him a pretty smile."

"You don't even play, psycho!" he snorted and frowned, noticing Ashlyn's amused glance. "And what are you staring at, you motherfu-" 

He stopped, stabbed in the ribs by Aiden's fist. 

"You better shut your mouth, buddy." His voice was low and quiet, smile calm. But there was something dangerous in his eyes. 

Like he enjoyed the situation.

But when his eyes moved to Ashlyn and met her eyes, his gaze softened. Although she couldn't say how, something in his eyes subtilized. But it lasted just for a second and then he looked away. His shoulders tensed, Ashlyn noticed. 

Like he remembered in the same time she did. 

Heat creeped onto her face as she fixed her eyes on a floor. 

"I'm hungry", Taylor groaned. "I'm going to a dinning car. Aiden, will you come with me? I'm scared to go alone, and I know you're not." 

"No prob!" he stood up, leaving a half done sudoku on a floor. 

"Be careful", Tyler tossed before they left. 

Nobody replied, cause Taylor and Aiden left. Ashlyn heard her voice: 

"So you're playing Fnaf since you're done with LoL...? "

Her stomach tightened. 

Strange.