"Aiden! I need help", Ashlyn's distorted voice came from the walkie-talkie and Aiden jumped in surprise. "I need your help guys, the phantoms are trying to get inside the room. I don't know how long the glass will withstand the hitting. Oh, and the door locked from outside and I can't get away. Over!"

Aiden and Logan sitting earlier on a floor of the hallway, surrounded by phantom's bodies, immediately stood up. 

"Where are you, Ash? Over!"

"In a nursing room. Remember where are the vending machines?"

"Umm- yes", Aiden rushed along the hallway, waving at Logan. 

"Go there, I'm in a room a few doors down..."  the walkie-talkie hummed and Ashlyn's words disappeared in a crackling sound. 

"Ashlyn, are you okay? Can you repeat?" Aiden sped up. "Come on, Logan." 

"...need to hurry!" Ashlyn's voice came back. "The window will break in a sec- oh fuck!" 

"ARE YOU OKAY?" Aiden forgot they were supposed to be quiet not to get caught by phantoms. 

"Just run, they're getting inside! Out." the walkie-talkie crackled and fell silent. 

Aiden almost flied through hallways until he noticed vending machines. He started to open all the doors around. 

"Please, be here, please", he mumbled as stress twisted his guts. "Ashlyn? Are you here?" 

He couldn't let her get hurt. 

"Aiden", Logan caught up with him. "We've got a problem!"

Ashlyn swung as hard as she could and hit the phantom who had just got into the room through the window with the first aid kit. Another one entered behind it. 

Fucking flashlight, had to fail at the worst possible moment. 

She smashed the phantom a few times and cringed when another window broken. Why there had to be two windows in a nursing room? I'll find the person that invented this, she swore in thoughts. 

She hit the next phantom, trying to cover her ears in the same time, but another one got inside through the second window. Ashlyn dodged its claws falling to the ground, and turned at the last moment to kick in the stomach. The next phantom attacked right after the previous one. She saw more of them entering through the window. 

Aiden, I won't make it forever...

She retreated to the corner of the room and placed her elbows on the floor to maintain her balance, preparing to kick. It was her last chance of self defence, in this almost empty room with nowhere to hide. She felt adrenaline mixed with panic running through her veins. Her mind screamed she's extremely unsafe, Maybe that was what made her so dizzy, or maybe it was pain throbbing in her head.

It was way too loud. 

When a phantom rushed at her, and Ashlyn had to use all her strength to kick it. She felt like during that night when she got a concussion by being hit in her head. The same paralyzing fear, hitting awarness of the danger. The feeling of being trapped with the back pressed against a hard surface. Not being able to fight properly. The terrible thought in a corner of your mind which turns into a realization slowly dawning on you that you could die in a moment. 

I don't want to die. 

I can't let my friends down, they still count on me... 

She tried to keep the phantoms at a distance.

But something pulled her to give up.

She was so tired of this. 

What if I just died now? Nothing worse would happen to me in our realm. 

A pain exploded in her head as another phantom appeared outside the window. Her muscles burned her and the blood began to drain out of her legs, she felt how they're shaking. 

Sweet pain,

Bitter fear,

The urge to end it.

What if I just give up? 

She relaxed her muscles, letting her legs fall to the floor.

It can't be that scary. 

She closed her eyes and pantoms' smiles in darkness dissapeared.

Ashlyn! 

She gasped, not sure if she really heard it, and opened her eyes perfectly to see the knife digging into a phantom's head. She choked a scream in her throat. 

Aiden looked like a psychopath as he killed phantoms with a rage of a wild beast. Ashlyn felt dazed as he picked her up off the floor, took the medkit and helped her out of the room. 

Before she realized what was happening, he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her to him. But he hugged her just for three seconds, then he let her go, glancing at the closed door. The sound of scratching came from behind the door.

"Come on, we gotta hide." 

Aiden turned on his flashlight and they ran along the hallway, turned into a narrow corridor and went down a few creaky steps, not looking back at the phantoms chasing them. Then they found themselves in a dead end and entered a small, dark living room at left. Aiden closed the door and barricaded it with a dresser. 

"We're safe", he sighed and withdrew a few steps. "Logan is safe too. We separated accidentialy cause there were too many phantoms, but he should be in our cabin in a moment."

Ashlyn took a deep breath, her heart was pounding and head throbbing. phantom noises didn't dissapear, they were approaching. Aiden knew it too. He turned to look at her and Ashlyn moved closer to him, grabbing his arm. She opened her eyes widely, as she realized it. 

"I... I thought I'm going to die."

"You're safe now, Ash. I won't let you die." 

She put her head on his shoulder and he placed his hand on her hair, surprised.

"I wanted to die for a moment, Aiden", her voice shook. "I wanted to give up, but then you came." 

He didn't reply, maybe didn't know what to say.

She felt like she was going to break. Shatter. How could she give up? Did she want to make Aiden feel the same way she felt when he died?

She couldn't break down in front of her friends, they would think even their leader is too weak. She wanted break down only in front of him, not caring if he thought she's helpless. He already knew it. 

They stood in silence, waiting for phantoms to find their hideout. Thoughts were running through Ashlyn's head like Aiden's hand stroking her hair. 

How did it happen that her survivance instinct just shut down like that? That urge to give up... that was bad. she couldn't manage to protect her friends if she wasn't able to protect herself. 

Was it how Aiden felt when he got crashed by the ceiling?

Was it how suicidal thoughts look like...? 

She gasped. 

"No." 

"What, Ash?"

"I'm... just tired." 

"I know. Look, we can sit there. Let's rest a little." 

 He pulled her to a sofa. Ashlyn leaned her head on the backrest and closed her eyes, listening to her heart slowing down.

"Aiden?" 

"Hm?" 

"Did you ever want to die?" 

He was silent for a moment. 

"I did." 

"Scary, isn't it...?", she whispered. "I never wanted to die. I don't want it now, I want to live so bad. So why did I want to die five minutes ago?" 

"It's called a trauma," he whispered back. "We're... Yeah, we are traumatized." 

He chuckled, but it sounded sad. 

"We're like, mentally ill", she muttered. 

Aiden's walkie-talkie crackled and Logan's voice came from inside. 

"Aiden, I'm back, safe. Are you with Ashlyn? Over!" 

"Logan, I'm with Ashlyn. We're locked in a room, but it won't last forever. We hear phantoms, there are thousands of them here. Over!" 

"Do you think you'll make it for seven minutes? Over." 

"So little left until shift back?" Ashlyn chimed in. "We'll make it. Is Ben okay? Over."

"He's bleeding but he says it's okay. Be safe guys. Out." 

Ashlyn hid her face in her hands. 

"I'm so terrible." 

"What? Why do you say so?! You're not terrible."

"I am... I can't care about you all enough. Ben is bleeding, Logan had to get to the cabin alone and we're stucked here cause my flashlight stopped working and my stupid overhearing made head start to hurt." 

"Because of your stupid overhearing we're still alive. And it's flashback's fault that it stopped working." 

"I should have changed the battery before." 

"But how could you predict that it would run out?" 

She sighed. 

"I'm just afraid I won't manage to protect you, you know? I'm afraid you'll get hurt again because of my fault... I want it to be over so bad." 

"You do your best, I know this. We all know this. You can't blame yourself." 

"Do you think I wouldn't blame myself if I lost you again?" she smiled sadly. "What if you didn't wake up if you died again? We don't know if you'd got another chance."

Aiden looked away. 

"I'm sorry." 

They were silent for a few minutes. 

"Ash?" Aiden's eyes glowed in the dark when she looked at him. "If I die again... no matter what, it won't be your fault. It's not your fault we live like that, okay?" He waited for her to nod. " And in the case I die again, umm... I love you." 

She froze. 

What? 

She blinked as her mind tried to process his words. 

 Her heart probably forgot how to beat. 

Did he just say he loves me? 

This... can't be real. 

Their eyes met. 

"I think I should tell others too", Aiden said quickly, looking away. "I never told them I love them... it's kind of weird though... but you just made me realize I may not survive another death." 

Oh. 

So you didn't mean... 

Ashlyn blushed, realizing what she just thought. She exhaled slowly, noticing she had stopped breathing. 

Did it even cross his mind that I may misunderstand that? 

Should I say that too now?!

"Yeah... that's a nice idea", she stammered, not being able to look him in the eyes. Her heart her heart remembered how to beat now and made up for the lost seconds. "And I... love you too." the last words were almost inaudible. Why was it so hard to say aloud?

Her cheeks were burning. 

Stupid, he didn't mean it in THAT way. 

But she couldn't throw this thought out of her mind, the fact he was silent also didn't help her. 

"What do we do when we shift back?" Aiden finally spoke up. "How to tell Mr. Thomas we have to go?" 

"Maybe let's tell him something happened to Ben and we have to go help him." 

"Hope it will work." 

"Yeah." 

They didn't say anything else until the shift back. 

Ashlyn felt like she was daydreaming, even when she was back in her room, trying to fall asleep. But those words kept repeating in her head and there was no way to silence them. 

I love you.

________

AGHHHHHHHHHH GIMME A TISSUE I'M GONNA CRY

Yeah so officially I broke my record. 1773 words!! This chapter was such a struggle, I swear... but I'm so satisfied. 

Well, I finally got myself into gear and wrote a good one lol