"Grabe, ang weird nila ngayon."

Kyline, Jaesie, Mel, and I were eating chips as we watched the boys talk seriously doon sa malayong part ng pool.

Nasa may pool area naman kaming mga babae habang nakababad ang mga binti sa tubig.

It was kinda weird na ako lang ang single sa girls ngayon—well, for now.

Jaesie said kaya siya isinama ni Kuya ay dahil lagi naman talaga silang magkasama—which was not a surprise, though. Para na silang buy one, take one item.

Kyline said kaya siya isinama ni Leo today because she was taking her day off, and it was their bonding time since hindi rin naman sila daily magkasama for the whole year.

Mel's here because, duh! Bahay nila 'to, of course!

Ako, saling-pusa as Kuya always liked to label me.

"Ang awkward makitang seryoso ni Clark, 'no?" sabi ni Mel. "Hindi ako sanay. Parang hindi si Clark."

"Tell me about it," Jaesie said.

Really, they were not used to Clark being this serious. Ang plan ni Kuya, kasama ako sa kakausapin, but Clark didn't want us girls to interfere kaya wala kaming choice kundi manood lang habang may deliberation sina Kuya sa malayo.

"I didn't know Clark could glare," Kyline said. "I mean . . . never ko pa siyang nakitang tumingin like how Leo look at everyone. He's really funny naman kasi, and he didn't like yung parang away-away."

"Gagi, ang sexy palang tingnan ni Clark kapag nasapian ni Leo, 'no?" joke ni Mel. "Parang ang sarap kagatin sa muscles."

"Matagal naman nang sexy si Clark. Siraulo lang talaga," Jaesie said before she sipped her gin mix.

That earned a grin from Melanie and didn't consider me as Kuya's sister, her sister-in-law na nasa tabi lang din niya.

"Kaya nga pumayag kang i-date ka niya, di ba?" Mel added.

"I dated Clark because he knew his business well, Melanie. Alam mo naman ako kapag usapang business, go talaga ako," Jaesie explained. "Kaya nga nagulat ako, hindi pala seryoso sa buhay 'yan."

"Hahaha! Pero ang kulit din niyan, e, 'no?" Mel was laughing at it, but Jaesie didn't look like it was a joke to laugh at. Nagulat ako, kinalabit ako ni Mel kasi kanina pa ako tahimik. "Huy, Sab. Seryoso ba 'yon, matagal ka nang inaalagaan ni Clark? Parang hindi naman halata."

I nodded and chewed more chips.

"Pero wala siyang gusto sa 'yo?"

I cringed at Mel's words. "Yuck! Wala, 'no?"

"Feeling ko rin, walang interes si Clark to have an intimate relationship kay Sab," Jaesie seconded and eyed the boys from across our direction. "Nag-explain 'yan si Mum. Dine-defend niya kay Rico kung bakit si Clark."

"Tapos pumayag ka rin," Mel said.

"Mel, kaka-release lang ng updated will and testament nina Mum and Dad," Jaesie said, and I stopped munching my chips.

Fuck! I forgot to check my email, shit!

"O, tapos?"

"3% ng total assets ng mga El Sokkary-Dardenne, under sa name ni Clark."

And we looked at Jaesie with wide eyes.

"For real?" I asked.

"Uh-huh," she hummed. "More or less, nasa 150 million ang market value ng assets n'on. Tataas pa 'yon depende sa appreciation ng assets annually. And Mum said ayaw niyang mapunta sa ibang babae lang ang pera for Clark na bigay nila ni Daddy."

"Shit, Jae, ganoon ka-favorite ni Malevolent Mum si Clark para pamanahan siya nang ganoon kalaki?"

"That's a lot of money," Ky said.

"So, kaya si Sab, para kanila pa rin ang pera?" Mel asked.

Jae shook her head. "I dunno. I'm just looking at that side kasi may weigh sa akin ang budget nilang pamilya. Pero seryoso naman si Mum noong sinabi niyang si Clark ang gusto niyang mag-alaga kay Sabrina kaya nga ipakakasal. Hindi naman na bumabata ang parents ni Rico, so as much as possible, as early as now, gusto nilang settled na itong dalawa. Pero parang may something pa silang nababanggit, related yata sa nangyari kay Clark before. Alam mo ba 'yon, Sab?"

"Huy, ano 'yong nangyari kay Clark?" tanong ni Mel sa akin at kinalabit na naman ako sa braso. "Parang kanina pa 'yon iniiwas ni Clark sa topic, e."

Napakatsismosa talaga ni Melanie, my gosh!

May doubt pa ako para magkuwento kasi hindi na namin 'yon pinag-uusapan. But they were all waiting for my answer, ayoko namang masabihang killjoy.

"My parents owed something kay Clark," I started.

"Na alin?" tanong ni Mel.

Napatitig ako kay Clark na nagsasalita sa kabilang pool, kausap pa rin sina Kuya.

"When I was eight, muntik na 'kong ma-kidnap."

"Oh, my God." Kyline gasped and covered her mouth.

"Tapos iniligtas ka ni Clark?" Mel continued and I nodded.

"I stole Kuya's toys. Then I went out sa dati naming bahay. My plan that day was makikipaglaro ako sa isang friend ni Kuya, si Mat."

"Oooh . . ."

"Ayaw kasi sa 'kin ni Kuya before. Age gap thing. Siyempre, baby girl, tapos magkaugali sila ni Mum. Paglabas ko ng residence namin, may nakaabang na roong owner-type jeep. Nandoon ang mga kidnapper. Kuya was running after me kasi nga nahuli niya 'kong kinuha ang toys niya . . ."

"O, tapos?"

"He grabbed his toys. Then he let the kidnappers take me kasi nga galit siya sa 'kin for stealing his things. I thought it was a better way to get rid of me permanently."

"NOOOO!"

The girls shouted and that caught the boys' attention. Napatingin tuloy sila sa amin kaya nagtipon-tipon tuloy sina Kyline payuko para makinig sa kuwento ko.

"Ronie didn't look like he's that evil," Kyline defended.

"Well, at least he wasn't noong nakilala mo siya," Melanie said. "O, tapos, ano na nangyari, Sab?"

"Then Clark came. Kukunin daw dapat niya ang gaming card na promise ni Kuya sa kanya. He was the one who saved me kasi nga galit si Kuya sa 'kin."

"Wow, Superman na Superman, mhie. O, tapos?"

"Inagaw ako ni Clark sa kidnappers. Yung goon na unang nakakuha sa 'kin, Clark managed to disarm him. Clark knew self-defense and all, nasa military that time si Tito Ferdz, e. But, you know, mag-isa lang siya and there were four kidnappers. Clark was stabbed thrice, nabugbog pa siya ng ibang kidnappers. Hindi lang ako nakuha kasi may dumating nang baranggay officers sa area. Same day, dinala na kami sa city para sa operations. Ako, may surgery sa arm. Si Clark, ICU straight. Nag-50-50 siya that time and twice siyang nag-flat line. Sobrang nagalit ang parents ko kay Kuya because of that. Dad even banned Kuya Ronie for having his toys. They said na idi-disown nila si Kuya once Clark died."

I was waiting for their reaction pero mga nakanganga lang sila sa akin, so I continued.

"During those years, sobrang achiever ni Clark. He's talented and all. Music, arts, math, everything. If you'll visit their old house, ang dami niyang trophies, medals, and certificates. Believe me, lagi silang pinagko-compare ni Kuya, and Mum wanted Kuya to have what Clark had. But after that incident, parang lahat ng talents and things na kayang gawin ni Clark, nawala. Yung grades niya, 75. He barely passed his exams. Kailangan pa niyang mag-summer class. Never na namin siyang nakitang humawak ng instruments. And he started to take things as a mere joke. Like . . . hindi na siya yung Clark na kilala namin. As in parang ibang tao na siya. And I still remember how Tita Pia cried in front of my Mum, na kahit hindi niya bine-blame ang family namin directly, we could feel na parang . . . alam n'yo 'yon? Na parang fault namin kung bakit ganito na ang anak niya."

"Mhie, stop na, naiiyak na 'ko." Mel's eyes were flooding with tears. "Hormonal changes, oh my God!"

I tried to prevent myself from laughing kasi nagpapaypay siya ng mata gamit ang mga daliri.

"If guilty lang si Mum kaya niya 'to ginagawa, maybe she should consider Clark's feelings too," Jaesie said seriously. "Kasi ayaw nga ni Clark magpakasal. And I don't think ayaw niya sa 'yo, Sab. Maybe sa resolution lang ni Mum kaya ayaw ni Clark. I could feel that he loves you too, but not the way kung paano 'yon tinitingnan ng mommy mo."

"Parang ayoko na tuloy i-bully si Clark," sabi ni Mel na naiiyak pa rin. Hinahagod na ni Kyline ang likod niya. "Kaso abnoy kasi talaga, e. Nakakabuwisit." Bigla niyang hinampas ang hita ni Jaesie kaya pati kami nabigla. "Pagsabihan mo nga 'yang asawa mo, Jaesie! May pinagmanahan naman pala, e."

"Matagal ko nang alam. Matagal na rin 'yang alam ni Rico," sagot ni Jaesie.

But maybe it was hard for Mum to just let everything pass when an innocent kid almost died because of her children. It was our shattered past that none of us could erase, no matter how hard we tried.

Maybe it was a fault Mum was still trying to fix until now. If it haunts her to this very day, maybe it's because there are wounds that can't be healed through the years.

Hindi naman niya mababayaran ang utang niya kay Clark kung gagawin niya akong alay para sa gusto niya.

It looked like the deliberation has been done. Tumayo na sila at seryoso lang ang mga mukha nang lumapit sa amin.

Si Patrick, patakbong lumapit kay Melanie para alalayang makatayo ang soon-to-be wife niya.

Si Kyline, nauna nang tumayo para lumapit kay Leo at yumakap.

Si Jaesie, pagtayo sa tabi ng pool, nagkrus lang ng mga braso at tinaasan ng kilay si Kuya bago nagsalita. "Okay na?"

Walang sinabi si Kuya. Nagkibit-balikat lang.

Nagulat kaming lahat nang biglang umiyak si Melanie at niyakap si Clark. "Claaaaark . . ."

"O! Ano 'to?!" sigaw ni Clark habang nakataas ang mga kamay. "Pat! Ba't umiiyak 'to?"

"Hindi na kita aawayin, promise . . ." umiiyak na sinabi ni Melanie.

"Eh? Inaano kita?"

"Mel, lumayo ka nga kay Clark, ano ka ba?" Inagaw na ni Patrick si Mel at siya na ang yumakap dito para patahanin.

I doubt na gusto ni Clark na kaawaan siya for the sake of being the favored one. After all, Clark could catch the hearts of anyone just by being him.

It was one of the awkward nights I had with Kuya's circle, malamang kasi halatang hindi sila nandito to just party all night. Three of them, may asawa na. Buntis pa ang isa. Ang daming limitations. May issue pang hinaharap ang isa. Hindi ko nga mai-consider na party at all. Parang nag-meeting lang sila just to see each other again for a very long time.

Sina Mel and Pat, maagang natulog kasi bawal kay Mel ang magpuyat. Sina Leo and Kyline, matutulog na rin daw. Sina Kuya at Jaesie, wala pang nagtatanong, mga tulog na kasi ang gising, super aga pa talaga. And it was just ten in the evening!

Sina Calvin at Will, nasa mango farm na nasa kabilang side nitong mansiyon. Doon daw muna sila kasi marami raw nag-iinuman doon at may nagkatay kanina ng baka. Makikipulutan daw sila.

Ako ang naiwan sa pool area habang nag-uubos ng beer na naiwan dito habang nagyoyosi. I was sitting on the lounge chair for almost an hour. Low-batt na nga ako, nasa itaas pa ang phone ko at naka-charge sa room namin.

"Sabi na, nandito ka, e."

I looked up and saw Clark walking near me.

"Why?" I asked, my gaze following Clark as he sat in front of me.

"Ikaw lang yung wala sa taas kaya hindi pa sila nagla-lock ng kuwarto," sabi niya, dumampot din ng beer at sinabayan akong uminom.

"Puwedeng i-share ang pinag-usapan n'yo kanina nina Kuya?" tanong ko.

Clark shook his head to say no and cringed at the taste of the beer.

I stared at him and tried to find something that would turn me off. But Clark—unless he intentionally messes with me—couldn't give reasons to turn me off.

"Bakit hindi ka pa matulog?" tanong niya at kinuha ang kanang kamay kong nakapatong sa arm rest ng mahabang upuan.

"Ikaw, bakit hindi ka pa matulog?" tanong ko rin pabalik, pinanonood siyang patunugin ang mga daliri ko sa kamay. Halatang bored na nga.

"Nagpapaantok nga ako, e," sabi niya at kinuha ang yosi ko saka humithit doon para ubusin ang natitirang hindi pa nauupos. "Kuya mo, agree daw kay Tita Tess."

He chuckled a bit and blew a cloud of smoke to his left as he stared at my fingers.

"Ayaw mo sa decision ni Kuya?" tanong ko habang nakatitig sa kanya.

"Natural, ayoko. 'Tang ina, pakakasalan kita ngayon? E di, para tayong tanga n'on."

"Sinabi ni Kuya na may mana ka galing kay Mum?"

"Oo."

I was stunned for a moment. I kept my eyes on his smiling face, taking our topic as a joke, I guess.

"Sabihin ko kaya kay Tita Tess, 'Tita, ikaw na lang pamanahan ko ng 200 million, tigilan mo lang ako?'"

"Hahaha! Sira." Marahan ko siyang tinapik sa sentido at pinagtawanan na lang namin nang mahina ang joke niya.

"'Kainis naman kasi si Tita Tess. Urong ka nga." Umurong naman ako hanggang sa masandal siya sa inuupuan ko at doon nahiga. "One month na 'kong single kaka-stalk sa 'kin ni Tita. Hindi tuloy ako malapitan ng chicks ko. Tsk. Bigyan ko kaya siya ng permanent restraining order?"

Napalingon tuloy ako sa kanya habang nanlalaki ang mga mata ko. "Seryoso?"

Marahan niyang tinapik ang balikat ko habang nakasimangot. "Joke lang, parang gaga."

Clark knew the law for sure. Tita Pia is a law professor and a former lawyer serving in Public Attorney's Office. If he wanted that restraining order para kay Mum, I knew he has all the means to do so any time he wanted to.

Sumandal na rin ako sa inuupuan namin at nahiga sa tabi ni Clark. Ginawa ko pang unan ang braso niya.

"What if bigla kang ipatawag ni Mum. May plan ka na?" tanong ko.

"Siyempre, kakausapin ko muna. Saka hindi naman niya agad-agad mase-settle 'yang kasal. Si Patrick nga, nakapag-apply ng marriage contract, na-expire na lang kasi hindi nagpakasal si Melanie."

Well, that made sense. Grabe ang stress ni Pat sa ilang beses na rejection ni Mel sa kanya.

"Si Ivo, hindi na nagparamdam?" tanong ni Clark. Naramdaman ko na lang na marahan niyang sinusuklay-suklay ang buhok ko. Saglit akong sumulyap sa kanya at naabutan kong nakatingin siya sa malinis na langit sa harapan namin. Napatingin din ako roon sa langit.

"Kaka-break lang namin, pinagtrabaho na agad ako nina Mum. No one talked about Ivo anymore."

"Naka-move on ka na?"

I sniggered and let my words float in the air for a while.

Move on . . .

"Not sure. I just felt nothing if si Ivo ang topic."

Clark was combing my hair, and I was getting sleepy because of it.

"Are you trying to put me to sleep?" I almost whispered as my eyes were getting droopy.

"Secret."

I lightly slapped his jaw and giggled. "Don't 'secret' me, jerk."

"Inaantok ka na, akyat ka na," utos niya, pero gamit na ang malambing niyang boses.

"Umiinom pa 'ko."

"Inaantok ka na, e."

"Hindi pa nga."

"Inaantok ka na."

"Don't gaslight me. I know I'm not sleepy."

"You're sleepy. I know."

"You're putting me to sleep, of course, you know."

"Kapag nakatulog ka rito, iiwan talaga kita."

"Kargahin mo na lang ako, tinatamad akong tumayo."

"'Yan, pareho kayo ng kapatid mong palautos."

Tinawanan ko siya nang mahina at pinanood ko siyang bumangon. I was keeping my grin as he tapped his back asking me for a piggy-back ride.

"Yey!" I celebrated.

"Tuwa ka naman."

I went near him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his waist. He carried me as if I was weightless, and he walked inside the house like usual.

I was sniffing Clark's hair and it smelled almond with a hint of smoke. Clark's smelled so good I wanted to hug him all night. I jokingly bit his ear and that earned another glare from him.

"Talaga ba, Sab?" Pinalo niya ang binti ko para pagalitan ako.

"Hahaha! Ang bango mo, Clark."

"Malamang, duh!"

Tinawanan ko siya nang mahina habang tinatapik-tapik ang chest part niyang sobrang firm. A few moments later, my left hand was running itself across his chest.

Grabe, ang sturdy ng muscles niya sa dibdib. Ang sarap hawakan.

"Tumigil ka diyan, Sabrina."

"Why?" I whispered near his ear.

"Gusto mong dalhin kita sa bodega, ha?"

"Why? Ano'ng gagawin mo sa 'kin sa bodega?"

"Ano ba dapat gagawin ko sa 'yo sa bodega?"

"Ano nga . . . ?"

Nilingon na naman niya ako para lang tingnan nang masama. "Ikukulong kita malamang. Tigilan mo 'ko diyan, patatabihin talaga kita kay Rico."

"Hmp! Suplado. Ikulong mo na lang ako sa bodega kaysa patabihin kay Kuya."

Ilang lakaran pa at nakarating na kami sa tapat ng kuwarto kung saan ako dapat matutulog. Doon na ako ibinaba ni Clark.

"Mag-lock daw kayo ng pinto. Baka biglang buksan ng helpers dito, puro lalaki pa naman."

I grinned at him and offered my arms for a hug.

Sumimangot lang siya sa 'kin at kinunutan ako ng noo. "Hindi ka na nakontento, ha. Nagpabuhat ka na, may payakap ka pa."

"Goodnight kiss ko?"

"Ay, wow. Syota kita?"

"Dati, may goodnight kiss ako sa 'yo every night, e."

"Ten years old ka pa lang n'on. Matulog ka na."

"Sige na . . . pleeeeease."

Tinuturo-turo na niya ako. "Alam mo, kaya ako pinag-iinitan ni Tita Tess, e."

Lumapit na siya sa akin. Hindi niya tinanggap ang hug ko, pero hinawakan niya ako sa pisngi saka ako hinalikan sa noo.

"Beer pa." Saka niya tinapik ang noo ko para pagalitan naman ako. "Lasing na lasing, parang tanga."

"Sungit."

"Matulog ka na kundi . . ."

Inirapan ko na lang siya saka ako pumasok sa loob ng kuwarto. Marahan kong isinara ang pinto habang nang-aasar na nakasilip sa kanya.

Alcohol made him a good temptation for tonight in my eyes. But . . . well, he's been my temptation ever since.

We already grew up . . . and things could change.

♥♥♥