"Langga, may dadalawin lang ako, ha. Babalik din ako agad. :-* "

At sino naman ang dadalawin niya, aber? May kakilala na ba siya rito sa Manila para lumayas siya nang walang paalam?

I should be doing my works right now. Ang kaso, hindi ako makapag-focus-focus kasi iniisip ko kung saan naman naglalalagi ang Clark na 'yon. Hindi pa siya fully recovered pero umalis na siyang mag-isa.

I'm sure hindi niya alam kung saan nakatira si Kuya. They were twenty-five when he started the toy museum. Sure na hindi rin siya galing kay Leo kasi galing din ako roon.

I was looking for his phone and I couldn't see it.

Clark is curious in nature, and I dunno if he knew how to use his phone properly. One whole day lang kasi niyang hawak 'yon, and he was just doing weird random things sa phone at sa laptop niya.

Lunch na nang bumalik siya sa bahay. Naka-ready na lahat ng sermon ko sa kanya nang pagbukas niya ng pinto, ang dami niyang dalang plastic bag.

"Langga, nakauwi na ako!"

Every single word na ibabato ko dapat sa kanya, hindi ko nasabi habang minamata ko lahat ng bitbit niya.

Ang daming nakaipit sa daliri niyang handle ng plastic bag na puro groceries. May nakasuot pa sa kanyang sling bag na mukhang lunch bag pa nga. Meron din siyang takeout sa Jollibee.

"Saan ka galing?" tanong ko na lang.

"Dumaan ako sa bahay namin sa San Lorenzo. Doon pa rin pala nakatira sina Daddy until now," kuwento niya at dere-deretso sa kusina kaya napasunod naman ako. "Sabi ko kay Mami, ako na lang dadalaw sa kanya para hindi na siya mapapagod magpunta rito. Nagtuturo pala siya sa QC. Ang layo pala n'ong school dito sa Alabang."

Lahat . . . lahat-lahat ng sermon ko dapat sa kanya, natunaw na lang kasi . . .

"Ang ganda na pala ng mga grocery ngayon. Saka ang dami nang kakaibang mabibili. Kaso ang mahal na rin pala ng presyo. Dati, fifty pesos lang, ang dami ko nang mabibiling chips. Ngayon, isang malaki saka isang maliit na lang na balot."

I was watching him rove around the kitchen, taking out all the plastic bag's content na parang excited siyang ipakita lahat ng laman n'on sa 'kin.

Clark isn't the type of boy na whole day nagkukulong sa kuwarto. Hindi rin siya tamad. He likes to roam everywhere, alam man niya ang lugar o hindi. And for sure, it would be a thrill to him at favorable pa nga kung hindi niya alam because he would probably learn a lot wandering around.

Dumaan daw siya sa bahay nila sa Makati kaya hindi na ako nagtaka sa mga glassware na may laman nang lutong ulam.

"Bakit hindi ka nagpaalam na aalis ka?"

Nginitian lang niya ako nang sobrang lapad. "Sorry na, Langga." Itinuro na lang niya ang laman ng isang glassware na kalalabas lang niya. "Masarap 'to. Tinikman ko kanina. Kain na tayo."

We started eating our lunch, and his genuine smile didn't fade. Not that I didn't want it, pero galit kasi dapat ako dahil umalis siya nang hindi pormal na nagpapaalam. Although hindi rin naman ako nagpaalam na pupunta kina Leo, pero hindi rin niya ibinalik sa akin ang tanong na bakit umalis din ako nang hindi siya sinasabihan. Kahit pa kung tutuusin, nangapitbahay lang naman ako.

After lunch, sa wakas, nakabalik na rin ako sa pananahi at may natapos na akong limang item na ready for sale na rin at ilo-laundry na lang for RTW.

Paglabas ko sa gym area, naabutan ko si Clark na nagma-mop ng wooden flooring sa living room.

"Clark, you should rest."

"Nakakaantok kaya kapag sa kuwarto lang ako."

"Baka bumuka 'yang sugat mo."

"Hindi ko naman iuuntog ang ulo ko sa sahig, Langga."

Pasagot pa lang ako nang tingnan siya nang masama. Ang pilosopo talaga ever!

"Tulungan mo na lang akong mag-laundry," utos ko.

"Okay!"

Clark wasn't acting like a kid. He was just being playful and jolly—as always. May times din naman kasi na reasonable siyang kausap and he was giving output and suggestions na workable. Well . . . everything na sinasabi niya, doable.

"Available na rin pala yung home shopping network sa phone," sabi niya habang pinanonood ang pag-ikot ng washing machine. Busy naman ako sa pag-aayos ng rack na pagsasampayan.

"We call that online selling."

"Paano magbabayad? Cash on delivery?"

"Yeah, CODs. Or preorders. Some pay during the stream, then ise-settle na lang after that."

"Saan mapupunta ang bayad sa 'yo? Ibabalik dito ng magde-deliver?"

"Bank deposits lahat. I got my cards naman, so I'll just withdraw after."

"Ang cool."

He was eager to learn. Maybe it was the irony of Clark being the "stupid" among the barkada because he always wanted to learn things firsthand. Mausisa siya. Kapag hindi niya naiintindihan and no one's answering him, he finds ways to get the answers he wanted. He's that kind of guy na, yeah, he doesn't know that, but that does not mean he will never know that. And now he has something to search for. Parang bina-validate lang ng "stupidity" niya ang reason kung bakit siya laging curious.

Upon thinking about that, Mum trusted Clark so much—more than she trusts Kuya. At hindi basta-basta nagtitiwala ang mommy ko sa mga "stupid" people na hindi alam ang ginagawa nila.

May buyers na ang mga damit na gawa ko, and hindi pa 'yon release, binili na. Maybe that was another perk of being Sabrina Dardenne. I needed to do more kasi kulang ako sa damit at may pending orders pa na naka-lineup para tapusin ko.

Ang tagal kong hindi nakapag-release ng bagong line, and since compromised ang business ko ngayon, I needed to adjust a little more.

Sunset na kami natapos ni Clark sa pagsasampay ng mga damit. He helped me sa paglalaba at pagbabanlaw. And since his grip was better than mine, mas okay siyang magpiga kaysa sa akin.

Malawak ang backyard niya, and may porch din doon. Tumambay muna kami habang nagpapahangin.

"Ang boring ng summer ngayon," sabi ko. "Masarap sanang mag-beach kaso . . ."

"Gusto mong mag-beach, Langga?"

I just frowned at that. "Maybe next time. Ang dami nating unfinished business right now. I want to rest, but I want to do it once everything is done." Pagtingin ko sa kanya, nakangiti lang siya sa 'kin. "What?"

"Parang kahapon lang noong umiiyak ka pa kasi hindi ka pinahiram ng toys ng kuya mo."

"Hahaha! Sira." Nasampal ko siya nang mahina sa pisngi. "My family is dealing with something heavy right now. Sana nga, toys na lang ang reason ng init ng ulo ni Mum kay Kuya. But, I guess lesson din ito para sa amin and we must learn it the hard way."

♥♥♥

I wanted my family back to the way we used to be. But Mum and Kuya should put their egos and pride down kasi sila lang naman ang mahihirap kalaban dito. Kuya said he would surrender to Mum, but Leo already told me na matatagalan si Kuya sa pag-surrender ng kung ano mang isu-surrender nila kasi marami pala ang files na sinasabi nito.

No wonder din siguro na marami kasi . . . ang hinahawakan nilang records, from fourteen years ago pa. Hello? Ilang taon na kaming lahat? Mas matanda pa 'yon kay Eugene!

It was already nine in the evening at pinapasok ko pa lang ang mga pinatutuyo kong damit sa labas. By tomorrow, magpa-pack na ako ng items at kailangan ko na namang bumisita kina Kyline para magpatulong sa packaging.

Good news, kapitbahay ko lang sila.

Bad news, malayo ang warehouse nila sa bahay.

Kababalik ko lang sa kuwarto para sana matulog na nang makita kong nakangiti sa akin si Clark habang naka-indian sit siya sa kama.

"Langga."

Nagdududa na ang tingin ko sa kanya. "What?"

"Ulitin natin."

"Ang alin?"

"Yung ginawa natin sa bathroom."

Napandilatan ko siya ng mata. "HA?"

Nagtaas pa siya ng dalawang kamao habang malapad ang ngiti. "Nag-practice akong mabuti para alam ko na ang gagawin."

Lalong lumaki ang mga mata ko habang hindi makapaniwala. "Saan ka nag-practice?! Paano ka nag-practice?! Kanino ka nag-practice?!"

Imbes na sagutin, nginitian lang niya ako nang malapad kaya dinuro ko na siya.

"Clark Mendoza, tinatanong kita, ha."

Wala siyang sinabi, naglahad lang ng palad sa magkabilang gilid para sabihing wala—o hindi niya alam yata.

"Ayoko," sagot ko agad.

"Langga, sige na . . ." nakanguso niyang pakiusap.

"Answer me first."

"Ano . . ." nahihiyang sagot niya.

"Ano?"

Para siyang bata na dinadaan ako sa ngisi kahit na obvious na may ginawa siyang kalokohan.

"Ano nga!" sigaw ko na.

"Tinuruan ako ni Calvin."

"Tinuruan ka ni—" Dali-dali akong pumunta sa study table niya saka ko kinuha roon ang phone ko. Tinawagan ko si Calvin para komprontahin.

Paghinto ng ring, sinigawan ko agad siya. "Hoy, Calvin Dy! Ano yung sinasabi ni Clark na tinuro mo raw sa kanya?"

"Hahahaha!"

Wala siyang ibang sagot sa akin kundi halakhak lang.

"Alam mo nang hindi pa okay si Clark, kung ano-ano pang ituturo mo?"

"Come on, Sab! It's a boy's talk."

"Fuck shit ka."

"Hahahaha! Enjoy!" Then he dropped the call bago pa ako makasagot.

"Buwisit ka!" Padabog kong inilapag sa table ang phone ko saka binalikan si Clark. "Clark, please . . . don't listen to them, okay? Puro kalokohan lang ang ituturo sa 'yo ni Calvin."

"Pero gusto ko ulit i-try." He was pouting at me again and giving me puppy eyes.

"Anong try ka diyan?"

"Marunong na 'ko, promise!" Then he faced the bed and started humping there.

"Oh my gosh, Clark! Please stop it!' Nakakaloka! Ano ba'ng pinagtututuro ni Calvin dito! OMG!

"Hala, bakit? Di ba, ganito naman talaga gagawin." Then he repeated humping the bed again.

I pointed to him. "No! Not this time. Don't—argh!"

Grabe ang stress ko, my gosh! Ang init ng pisngi ko sa kahihiyan. Tapos pinagawa pa ni Calvin sa kanya 'yon? Hell no!

Idinaan ko na lang sa hilamos ang init ng pisngi ko kasi . . . ih! Para akong hinulugan ng napakaraming higad sa katawan. I'm having goose bumps right now.

Paglabas ko ng bathroom, nakanguso si Clark habang malungkot na nakatingin sa akin.

"Langga . . ."

"I appreciate your effort of learning how to do it, Clark. But no."

Kalmado pa akong lumapit sa kama at sumampa roon. For me, mas okay nang matulog na lang kami in peace kaysa ulitin niya ang ginawa niya.

Fuck, it started to stay inside my head, 'kainis.

"Sige na nga," pagsuko niya.

"Gagawin ulit natin 'yon kapag puwede na." Nahiga na lang din ako at nagkumot na.

I wanted to do it, but I didn't want to do it na para siyang bata na dahil may nakita lang somewhere, feeling niya, alam na niya ang gagawin kapag ginaya niya. Ayokong ma-disappoint na naman. I can wait, we can wait.

Malapit na ang anniversary nina Kuya and Jaesie and I've never heard anything from them. Maybe they would prefer an intimate date kaysa mag-invite na naman ng kung sino-sino.

Not sure about what's gonna happen but we have no other choice but to wait until everything's over.

I used to sleep na yakap ako ni Clark mula sa likod. It was our usual sleeping position kasi hindi nakakangawit para sa aming dalawa.

But I woke up in the middle of my sleep kasi naghahanap ako ng kamay na dapat nakayakap sa akin pero wala akong makapa.

"Clark?"

"Bakit?"

Gusto pang pumikit ng mga mata ko pero hinahanap ko talaga siya. Then I saw him na nakaupo sa sahig, doon sa may telescope niya at naabutan siyang nakatingin doon.

"Ano'ng ginagawa mo diyan?" tanong ko.

"Ang ganda ng moon ngayon. Ang linaw niya sa telescope. Kitang-kita ko yung craters."

Oh my God. Really?

"Balik ka na rito, matulog ka na. Gabi na."

"Okay." Umalis na rin siya roon at patalon pang sumampa sa kama kaya umalog ang higaan namin.

Hindi na lang bumalik nang hindi naglilikot, ano ba 'yan?

"Hindi ka ba makatulog?" tanong ko pa pagtingin sa kanya.

"Matutulog na sana kaso ang ganda kasi ng moon. Ang liwanag ngayon."

"You better sleep. Dapat kanina ka pa natulog."

Humiga na rin siya sa tabi ko, pero nakadungaw naman siya sa 'kin at nakangiti.

"Langga . . ."

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I know." I held his left cheek and smiled at him. "Sleep na."

Instead of answering me, he lightly kissed my lips and lie on my shoulder.

"Ang ganda mo lagi."

Natawa naman ako nang mahina roon. "I know, right."

Every second with him like this . . . yung serenity ng moment, the silence, yung peace na ilang linggo ko ring hindi naramdaman . . . kahit sa ganitong way lang, maramdaman kong okay pa rin ang lahat.

I was about to fall asleep when I felt his lips brushing my neck.

"Clark . . ." It was meant as a whisper but escaped as a moan.

"Ang bango mo."

I reeled my head to the right to give him the freedom to stay there longer.

Hinahagod na naman ng daliri niya ang braso ko gaya ng lagi niyang ginagawa, pero may kakaibang hagod ang mga 'yon ngayon sa 'kin. Familiar, but it was more of the older Clark I knew than his younger self. It was comforting, but it was intimate as well.

"Di ba, sabi ko, sleep na?"

He just giggled, and his kisses went down on the huge buttoned shirt I was wearing. He was kissing the cloth kaya bumaba ang tingin ko sa ginagawa niya. I really assumed that he didn't know what he was doing when he lightly bit the protruding nipple on my left boob. My head was yelling, "What the fuck are you doing, Clark!" But all I saw was his playful smirk, teasing me.

I was thinking, "Jino-joke time mo lang ba 'ko?" But his stares at me right now are so different. It didn't carry any bad intentions but was just a naughty tease.

His left hand traveled across my tummy and played with his fingers on it. He went back to kissing my cheek down to my jaw and stopped for a moment to look me in the eyes.

"Sabrina Dardenne . . ."

There I was, dumbstruck. "H-Ha?"

"Will you marry me?"

"Clark?" And I said that as if I was asking kung siya na ba ang Clark na kilala ko . . . na kilala naming lahat.

Sa sobrang shock, hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko habang nakatitig sa mga mata niya. May kung ano sa mga mata niya na hindi na inosente. Akala ko, magagalit siya kasi hindi ako agad nakasagot pero nginitian lang niya ako saka hinalikan sa labi.

"Saka mo na sagutin," sabi niya sa pagitan ng mga halik. "Hindi naman ako nagmamadali."

I wanted to say yes. I wanted to scream yes. But because of too much shock, na-speechless na lang ako. But I knew to myself that it would always be a yes.

His left hand was teasing my folds, and I slightly spread my legs for him to touch me more.

I missed him . . . a lot. Na kahit magkasama naman kaming dalawa, nami-miss ko pa rin siya. Or maybe I missed the old him na bine-baby pa rin ako kahit naiinis sa akin. I want him now.

His tongue was playing on mine, and if Calvin taught him this, then that jerk is a good mentor. A soft gasp was released from me as he drew out the kiss, lifting his head only to see how he did his work on my lips. My heart stopped beating for a moment after I saw him lick his already wet lips and show me his barely noticeable smirk with pride, as if he satisfied himself just by watching me, breathless by him.

"Try ko ulit," sabi niya, at wala akong ibang naging sagot kundi tango.

If Clark learned this for a day, then I am so fucking proud. He was being the soft version of what he was before the accident. It felt like the younger him and the older him became one, and I was enjoying every second of it.

He slowly removed my bottom undies and his knees gently spread my thighs as he positioned himself above me. He was smiling so innocently, and fuck me big time, he looked so gentle right now.

"Confucius said, 'It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.'"

"Clark, please, don't give me that shit right now."

He didn't respond. He just breathe slowly na parang nagme-meditate pa siya bago ako hinalikan sa labi.

He was busy on my lips and neck when I felt him remove his clothes. I was trying to see what he was doing, but I couldn't help but close my eyes every time he kissed my body.

He didn't bother removing the shirt I was wearing. He just pulled that up and clearly exposed my breast in front of him.

My heart was beating at a faster cadence, and I want him now more than ever.

"Ah . . . fuck." My lips felt so dry that I couldn't help but lick them as I watched him explore his expert tongue on my nips. His other hand was busy molding my mount, and I started to enjoy it more than last night's failed attempt.

He went up and kissed my lips again. "Slowly . . ." he whispered, smiling.

He pulled me near him after that and gave me the "I'm ready!" face with so much enthusiasm.

Fuck. I'm not ready.

My left leg was lifted to give him more space for it. He slowly inserted his shaft inside me, and both of us were breathing as slowly as if it were the very first time we did this.

Napakapit tuloy ako sa braso niya habang pinandidilatan siya ng mata.

Oh please.

"Slowly . . ." he repeated. I could feel his full shaft reaching beyond what I expected. It only aroused me even more, carrying a pang of pain in that sensitive part.

He definitely looked like a kid trying to do something for the first time with so much care, but his body was built well for me not to see him as a kid. His Adam's apple was moving every time he gulped, and I couldn't bear watching him bite his lip without thinking he was so hot doing that.

He closed his eyes and licked his lips so sensually. "Wow, mas masarap siya ngayon."

"Clark, please . . ."

Bakit ba ang daldal niya!

"Can you do it faster?" I asked him.

"Sige, try."

My gosh, it was so awkward, but I didn't want him to stop!

And he really did what I asked, and it was a bit harder this time. I held his left arm for support, and he just grabbed my hand and pinned it above my head.

"Ang ganda mo . . ." hinihingal na sabi niya.

My legs were getting numb and I moaned so loudly, feeling every fiber of our bodies colliding with each other.

"Yes, oh, fuck!"

He pulled out in the middle of my moans, and before I could complain, he pulled me up and turned me around him. I just saw myself kneeling in front of the bed's headboard and letting out a louder moan after he went back to his unfinished business.

Heat consumed my body and I would release it any time soon.

He pulled my arms as he continued thrusting behind me.

I continued moaning and I felt his warm breath on my right cheek.

"Ang sarap mo. Ano'ng pangalan ko?"

"Clark . . ."

"Lakasan mo."

"Claaark . . . oh, fuck."

"Good girl."

Ugh, God, not the teenage Clark dirty talking to me.

I let out a loud moan after I came, but he wasn't stopping. He thrust faster and he then let go of me. I fell on the bed and heard him groan after pulling his shaft.

This time, he released his heat on his hand, catching every drop of it while doing his manly moans.

I was sweating like hell, and I caught his serious eyes staring at me.

"You did great," I told him, catching my breath.

"Yeah," he simply answered, inhaling harder.

"Calvin taught you well."

"I watched porn."

Oh please.

♥♥♥