I was expecting my mom to be . . . you know? Pester me here and there about how stupid I was for leaving without anything apart from my phone (na stolen na nga). But Mum was like, "Nandito si daddy mo mamayang dinner, ha." Then she left the dining room.

Parang may imaginary question marks above my head kasi . . . hindi ko gets!

Mum was acting strange. And strange means parang hindi naman ako naglayas. Yung ilang araw na pinoproblema ko kasi feeling ko, tinalikuran na ako ng mundo; dito sa bahay, parang wala namang nangyaring kakaiba.

The maids didn't look at me like I'm sort of a returning prodigal daughter. Para ngang last night lang akong hindi umuwi.

Did I overthink that much? O wala na talaga silang pakialam sa akin?

Paakyat ako nang may makasalubong akong maid. She's one of those maids na matagal na rin dito sa bahay. Ka-age lang niya si Mum, but she's a bit chubby and stout.

"Yaya Beth, dumadaan ba rito si Kuya saka asawa niya?" tanong ko sa kasabay kong maid paakyat. May dala siyang hamper na may laman kaya baka maglilinis din ng kuwarto.

"Diyos ko, Ma'am Sab, araw-araw ngang kaaway 'yan ni madame."

"Why naman?"

"Naghahanap nga ng baby si madame! E, alam n'yo naman si Sir Ronie kapag kasama na ang asawa niya. Warla sila every day, ma'am, pramis."

Oooh . . . so Kuya's not lying at all.

"Pero nagbabanggit si Mum about sa wedding namin ni Clark?"

"Ay—" Napatitig ako kay Yaya Beth kasi parang may sasabihin siya, but she was taking her words in consideration before dropping it. "Hindi naman nagbabanggit si madame tungkol kay Sir Clark. Ang narinig ko lang kay madame, baka raw tawagan niya si Sir Archie. Pinata-timing-an niya 'yon kay Becca."

"Kay Archie?" Nagsalubong ang kilay ko. "Bakit tatawagan si Archie?"

"Hindi ko rin sigurado, ma'am. Si Becca ang laging nakaabang sa landline, e. Tanong n'yo na lang din si Becca para sigurado."

Okay. Everything is getting weirder and weirder here.

Archival Buenavista, or Archie as we call him, is a very close friend of mine. May crush si Archie sa akin, actually. He attempted to court me before, parang six or seven years ago. Si Mum ang nagsabing hindi pa ako puwedeng mag-boyfriend kasi graduating year ko 'yon sa designing and I had to focus on my studies and projects.

Archie said he's willing to wait for me. However, after two years, he needed to take his med school sa Carolina, and he had to stay abroad to study. Nangungumusta pa rin naman siya paminsan-minsan kapag naaabutan niyang online ako, but there was no romantic shiz behind that kasi super casual lang namin sa isa't isa.

Aware akong single siya until now, and if Mum will take Archie into consideration, hindi ko na alam kung sino ang pipiliin niya between Clark and Archie. Kasi doctor na si Archie, and he's a good-looking psychiatrist earning good figures na never sigurong kukuwestiyunin ni Mum.

Maybe I could tell why Mum's not talking about Clark if present si Archie sa picture.

Dumeretso ako sa room ko, and the smell inside is still the same. The sweet floral scent covered the whole space and I went straight to the bathroom to take a bath. Nakipag-marathon ako sa snatcher kanina, and I felt so dirty right now.

"Ah, I miss my home."

Nakaka-miss ang comfort na meron dito sa bahay. Leaving home without anything is a stupid decision, and everyone has their own lives. Ako pa rin ang mag-isang naiwan dito kahit pa ang ine-expect ko, magiging dramatic ang comeback ko rito sa bahay.

After shower, nagbihis na ako ng comfy peach shirt and shorts saka bumaba sa kitchen. It was almost dawn, and I have no phone. Tita Ali said nagpabili na raw siya sa tao niya and ipade-deliver na lang dito sa bahay later. Ang boring tuloy.

Busy ang kitchen kasi malapit nang mag-dinner, and Dad's coming home soon.

"Ate Rebecca! Tara here." Hinatak ko si Ate Becca nang makasalubong ko sa kitchen. Dinala ko siya malapit sa doorway palabas saka ko siya tinanong ng tungkol sa sinasabi ni Yaya Beth kanina.

Ate Becca is one of the maids na laging nakabantay sa phone calls and important mails sa bahay. Minsan, tumutulong siya sa household chores, pero madalas, sa phone lang talaga siya bantay. Three years lang ang gap nila ni Kuya, and she's a better concierge dito sa bahay. No wonder sa kanya nakatoka ang pakikipag-usap sa external affairs.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Tumawag na si Archie?"

"Si Sir Archie po?" ulit pa niya kaya tumango naman ako. "Yes po. Tumawag po siya two days ago."

"Ano'ng sabi?"

"Uuwi na raw po siya sa June, sabihin ko raw kay Madame."

"Did they talk about the wedding ba?"

Ate Becca cringed, unsure of the answer. "Hindi po ako sure sa wedding, ma'am. Wala po kasing nababanggit si madame. Basta ang alam ko lang po, nag-uusap sila."

"What about Clark? May nabanggit ba about sa wedding?"

"Ay, hehe." Biglang ngumisi si Ate Becca—na alam ko na ang meaning.

Kapag ganito ang reaction nila kapag kami ni Kuya ang nagtatanong, nasuhulan na 'to ni Clark.

That jerk, tch.

"Okay, Ate Becca, listen," I started. "Ano'ng meron sa usapan nina Mum and Clark?"

"Ma'am . . ." Ate Becca's voice was pleading, and her eyes were begging for me not to ask her more about this.

"I won't tell Mum and Clark," I promised. "I don't know what's happening right now. At least give me an idea kung ano'ng nangyayari."

Ate Becca's eyes spoke pity and uneasiness, but I wanted to know what was happening kasi hindi ko na naiintindihan ang lahat. Yung akala ko ngang planado ni Mum, hindi pala niya ginawa!

"Ma'am, huwag mong sasabihin, ha? Baka mawalan ako ng trabaho," pakiusap niya.

"Yes, Ate Becca, I promise." I raised my hand to swear.

Hinatak na ako ni Ate Becca papunta sa backyard. Doon kami pumuwesto sa likod ng poste na foundation ng roofing papunta sa pergola. Perfect position patago sa security camera na nasa poste rin mismo nakadikit.

"Ganito kasi, ma'am," Ate Becca started. "Si Madame Tessa, tinawagan si Madame Pia para sana sa agreement ng kasal. Sa akin po 'yon pina-appoint para sa schedule nila rito noong nakaraan."

"Okay then, what happened?"

"Ang sabi ni Madame Pia, pag-iisipan daw muna nila ang kasal kasi hindi nila pipilitin si Sir Clark kung ayaw."

"So . . . ?"

"Sabi ni Madame Tessa, okay lang naman daw. Kaya nga po pina-contact niya agad si Sir Archie sa US."

"Oh, okay. Now, Mum's setting Archie for me, correct?"

That earned another worst cringe from Ate Becca as if she ate a sour food she couldn't bear to eat.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Nalaman kasi ni Sir Clark ang tungkol kay Sir Archie."

"Oh . . ." My eyes started to widened. Bakit parang alam ko na kung saan pupunta 'to? "Ano'ng ginawa ni Clark?"

Lumapit pa lalo si Ate Becca sa akin saka siya lumingon-lingon sa paligid para malaman kung may nakakarinig ba sa amin. "Ang tsismis ni Lyra, ma'am, hindi raw okay si Sir Clark kay Sir Archie. Kaya kinausap ni Sir Clark si Madame Tessa."

"Oohh . . ." And really, we both looked like chismosas talking behind others' backs—or maybe we are. "What did Mum say to Clark?"

"Ang sabi ni Madame, malapit na raw pong umuwi si Sir Archie. Kung ayaw ni Sir Clark sa inyo, sure naman po si madame na gusto kayo n'ong isa."

I narrowed my eyes and looked suspiciously at Ate Becca.

Did Mum try to provoke Clark using Archie? Or maybe, seryoso si Mum kay Archie kasi good deal si Archie for me.

Kahit din ako, hindi ko tatanggihan si Archie. He's a gentleman and he's cute, though.

I bit my thumb's fingernail as I thought about it.

"May sinabi si Clark sa 'yo, Ate Becca?" tanong ko.

"Ang sabi lang po ni Sir Clark, tawagan siya kapag tumawag ulit si Sir Archie." Saglit akong tinapik ni Ate Becca sa braso. "Alam mo, ma'am, hindi naman sa pag-a-assume, pero parang type din kayo ni Sir Clark. Hindi lang halata."

I should be flinching at what Ate Becca said, but I ended up keeping my smile after I heard that. "You think so?"

"Ma'am, hindi naman ho siguro magbabayad si Sir Clark para lang pabantayan ang tawag ni Sir Archie kung hindi ka type n'on."

"E, bakit ngayon lang? Naging boyfriend ko rin naman si Ivo, bakit hindi niya pinabantayan?"

Nagkibit-balikat si Ate Becca. "Baka ho kasi usapang kasal na. Tapos si madame pa ang pumili kay Sir Archie, di ba? Baka lang nate-threaten kasi may laban ang nirereto sa inyo ngayon."

That made me think a bit deeper than I expected.

Tumatanggi si Clark sa kasal, pero bakit niya kailangang i-monitor si Archie?

Or sige, maybe Clark "likes" me, pero ayokong mag-rely sa like lang niya 'ko tapos sasabihin niyang wala munang kasal.

Wow, Mum's point is getting into my system, parang gusto ko na siyang kampihan.

Dinner time, Clark and Mum occupied my mind kaya hindi ko napansin ang pagdating ni Daddy.

"Good evening, honey." Dad kissed the top of my head, waking me up from my thoughts. "How's your day?"

"Daddy!" Pag-upo na pag-upo niya sa dining chair sa dulo ng mesa, lumapit agad ako at niyakap siya mula sa likod. "I miss you!"

He just sigh and smiled at me. "Hindi ka nagpaalam kanina. What happened?"

"Clark's being dramatic. Kinuha niya 'ko kay Mum."

"Again."

My brows instantly met. "Again?"

"Honey, Clark always takes you away from Tessa once he felt he's losing the argument with your mom. Para namang hindi mo kilala si Clark. By the way, wala pa rin ang kuya mo?" Lumingon na si Daddy sa kitchen alley. "Majo, si Tessa?"

"Ay, sir, kanina pa sa office si madame. Tatawagin ko na ho ba?"

"Yes, please. Thank you."

Dad turned his head to see my face resting on his broad shoulder. "How's your stay at Clark's place?"

I winced. "Sinabi ni Kuya?" awkward na tanong ko.

"Clark's calling every day to give us an update."

Nge? Akala ko ba, galit-galit sila ni Mum tapos ngayon, nagpapaalam pala siya.

"You like Clark for me, Dad?" I asked.

"Clark is a nice kid, but I want your happiness more than I like him or anyone for you. Itutuloy n'yo ba ang wedding?"

My eyes rolled upon hearing that. "Things are complicated, Dad. Clark says no to Mum's plan. Ayaw niyang ikasal kami."

"Really?" Dad looked confused, his forehead creased and he flinched. "But he's asking us to give him some time to adjust. Are you sure about that?"

Dad's confused eyes met my suspiciously narrowed eyes.

Not that bago sa pandinig na nag-a-adjust daw muna is Clark so I should wait for him, but . . . yung feeling na may nagki-click but something's not clicking?

Everyone gave me a similar dialogue: Wait for Clark kasi nag-a-adjust pa. Kaya nga naka-hold ako sa ere kahit ayoko.

Now what? He's playing with Mum and her annoying Cupid mix-and-match game. Para na nga akong jackpot prize na naghihintay na lang i-grab!

"May idea ka sa plans ni Mum, Daddy?" tanong ko na lang.

Dad answered me with a deep sigh and forced a smile. "Honey, your mom will only let you read what she wants you to read. The rest is something you can't expect unless she'll reveal those."

"Wala man lang clue? You married Mum naman, baka kaya mo siyang basahin."

"Sabrina, your Mum is not your Mum if I'm able to read her. Madi-disappoint talaga siya kapag nahulaan ko ang iniisip niya." Dad tapped my arm wrapping his shoulder. "I can hear the footseps ni mommy mo. Go back to your seat. Baka paluin ka pa niya kapag nakita ka niyang nagsusumbong sa 'kin."

"Hindi naman ako nagsusumbong, duh."

Daddy is old enough to get scared of my Mum. He's already 61, although he's always neat kaya hindi obvious na senior citizen na siya, but he kept his clean-cut hair in natural black and silver color kaya kita pa rin ang age. Visible ang edad niya sa wrinkles, freckles under his eyes, and other lines sa face every time he smiles, but he still looks good.

A few moments later, dumating na rin si Mum. She wore fluffy slippers and her red satin sleeping pants. Though, naka-strappy sando na lang siya and naka-messy claw clip ang buhok while wearing her reading glasses with golden frame.

"Enrico, ano yung sinasabi ni David na hindi raw makukuha ang shipments sa port?"

Dad raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, avoiding answering my Mum's "business' greeting. He was glaring at the table habang iwas na iwas ang tingin kay Mum.

I was watching Mum as she placed her hands on her waist, minamata na naman si Daddy. "Nag-usap na tayo tungkol dito, di ba?"

Dad didn't answer. Hinapit lang niya si Mum palapit sa kanya saka niya niyakap. "I love you, my dear." Nakadantay lang ang pisngi niya sa ibabaw ng dibdib ni Mum habang pinapaamo ang mommy ko.

Ang sweet-sweet ni Daddy pero pinalo lang siya ni Mum sa balikat. "Three tons, Enrico, hindi mo 'ko madadaan diyan sa mga ganyan mo, ha. Alam mo ba kung magkano 'yon?"

Saglit na nanlaki ang mga mata ni Daddy, yung parang may nabuko si Mum na ayaw niyang malaman ng mommy ko. Mabilis din namang nagbago ang facial expression niya saka lalong hinigpitan ang yakap kay Mum para maglambing.

"Just . . . the dinner is ready, Tessa. Have a seat."

Mum glared at Dad as if he stole millions of pesos from her wallet and he wasn't admitting the crime kahit nahuli na siya.

Sure ba si Daddy na tama siya ng inasawa? Nakatagal siya nang more than thirty years sa mommy ko? Wow, ha. Mum surely is a scary witch.

"Tumawag ang panganay mo, nasa Cebu na raw sila ni Jaena," balita ni Mum. "May nag-i-inquire sa expansion ng business ng manugang mo."

"Good for her," Dad said. "Buti pinayagan mong bumiyahe ngayon."

"Ano yung sinasabi ni David?"

Napakuha na ako ng baso kasi mukhang hindi papayag si Mum na wala siyang makukuhang sagot kay Daddy kahit pa umikot ang topic sa kung saan.

I could feel Dad's pressure kasi parang wala siyang maisagot kay Mum. "It's . . ." He bobbled his head from side to side and shrug. "It's canceled."

"And why is that?"

"Actually—"

"Ah, don't answer that, Enrico Dardenne, because I already know why," Mum sarcastically said, and Dad winced at her words. "You forced that stupid manager's idea to buy Class B materials and ended up with a substandard product. Saan sa salita ko ang nagkamali?"

My eyes were shifting from Mum's sarcastic facial expression and Dad's close-to-begging reaction.

"It's already canceled, Tessa. Let Norman learn from it—"

"No, you should learn from it! Alam mong mangyayari 'to pero pinilit mo pa rin." Mum closed her eyes, pinching the air, as she gritted her teeth in annoyance. "Ang sakit sa mata ng red strikethrough sa records! My God, Enrico! Nai-stress ako!"

She really is mad because I could see the nerves forming on her neck and forehead. And all Dad could do was sigh and tap Mum's hands to calm her down.

"Parehas lang kayo ni Sabrina, mga sakit sa ulo ko!"

Oh, whoa, wait! Bakit nadamay ako?

Hindi sumasagot si Daddy. Parang walang bigat si Mum na binuhat niya ang dining chair patabi sa kanya. Tap lang siya nang tap ng likod in Mum habang minamasahe nito ang sentido.

This is not the first time na ganito kairitable si Mum kapag may maling nangyayari sa work ni Daddy or sa family business. Pero bilib talaga ako kay Daddy na never na-involve sa affair kahit kapalit-palit naman talaga si Mum.

Well, actually, my parents never bought the idea of love kapag may ini-introduce kami sa family. They always question our lover's intention kasi ayaw nila ng line na "Mahal ko po ang anak n'yo," but once they investigate their background, tumataas na agad ang kilay nila.

Mum believed na hindi nakakabusog ang pagmamahal. At hindi lang sa love umiikot ang relationship. Big deal sa kanila ang commitment because if they say in sickness and in health, they meant that.

Far from perfect ang parents ko kahit gaano pa sila kayaman, and there were times na ramdam naming hindi sila okay bilang mag-asawa, but I never saw Dad entertain other ladies. Honestly, nalalaman lang naming hindi sila okay if Dad stayed in our house longer than he should. Doon lang siya sa office, nag-a-isolate at nagpapaka-emo until katukin siya roon ni Mum.

Unfortunately, Tessa El Sokkary is not afraid to eat alone. After all, sa kanila ni Daddy, si Mum pa rin ang may record ng pinakamaraming annulment offer sa kanilang dalawa. Sa sampung hiwalayang naganap sa kanila, nine and a half roon, kay Mum galing. The remaining half, threat ni Daddy pero nilunok din niya kahit wala pang ilang segundo pagkatapos sabihin.

I clearly remember how he yelled, "E di, maghiwalay na tayo!" Then all of a sudden, he kneeled in front of my mom, begging her to forgive him. Malas nga niya, hindi crybaby si Mum. Gawa yata sa bato ang puso nito. But Mum is forgiving. Hindi ko masasabing marupok, pero klase ng forgiving na conditional. Patatawarin ka niya in one condition.

Nabubuwisit tuloy ako. Nilalambing kasi ni Daddy si Mum para pakalmahin. Si Daddy na nga ang nagsusubo kay Mum kahit sinisimangutan lang siya. Naiinggit tuloy ako. Sana pala umuwi na lang ako roon kay Clark para may nagsusubo rin sa akin ng dinner ko.

Pinanggigilan ko na lang tuloy ng tinidor ang chicken cordon bleu sa plato ko para lang mahati.

"Titaaa!" malakas na sigaw sa labas, at ayoko nang manghula kung sino 'yon. Isang tao lang naman ang sumisigaw sa bahay namin kapag dumarating.

"Madame, nandiyan po si Sir Clark," paalala ng maid na nakabantay sa amin.

Mum rolled her eyes and chewed slowly.

"Papuntahin mo rito," utos ni Mum.

The moment Clark stepped under the arc of the dining room's doorway, he immediately released a heavy breath and stared at me with bored eyes. He raked his hair with his fingers and let out a sigh again.

Dad offered the chair beside me without saying anything other than his hand gesture.

Clark looked like a sullen kid. He walked towards me, and the whole table fell silent.

Mukhang hindi pa siya nakakauwi kasi kung ano ang suot niya pag-alis kanina sa bahay niya, iyon pa rin ang suot niya ngayon. But still, ang bango pa rin niya. Pagdaan niya sa likod ko at pag-upo sa katabi kong upuan, parang in-occupy ng amoy niya ang buong paligid ko.

I could tell that he wasn't in the mood. Ang gloomy kasi ng aura niya. At buti, may lakas pa siya ng loob humarap kay Mum after we walked out earlier.

"Sorry po sa nangyari kanina, Tita," sabi niya habang nakatingin lang sa mesa.

Kahit hindi siya nakatingin kay Mum, ramdam ko namang sincere siya sa sorry niya.

Mum crossed her arms and looked at Clark with disappointed eyes. "I am disappointed in you, Clark. Hindi ka na katorse anyos na kapag hindi nasusunod, tatangayin mo si Sabrina at magtatago kayo sa kung saan."

"Sorry po."

Dad silently asked the maid to get Clark a plate to have dinner with us.

"Ayoko nang maulit 'to," Mum said in finality, and all Clark did was nod as an answer.

Yeah, Mum is forgiving in nature. Here's the perfect example of that.

Really, ang awkward sa table. Maybe because something happened early this morning sa aming tatlo na nasa mesa, yet magkakasama kami ngayong dinner.

Dad kept on talking about Jaesie's new recipe habang sinusubuan si Mum. And he better say something or else, gigisahin na naman siya ni Mum about sa pinagtatalunan nila kanina. Baka nga kaya siya ang nagsusubo kay Mum, para kapag magsasalita ang mommy ko, may pambara na agad siya sa bibig.

Ayokong kausapin si Clark, and he was silent as well, so I see no reason para mag-usap kami. At kung mag-usap man kami, ayoko sa lugar na maririnig ni Mum.

Natapos ang dinner na walang nagsalita sa amin ni Clark, at ayaw ring dalhin ni Daddy sa amin ang topic. Probably because iinit na naman ang ulo ni Mum kapag napunta sa amin ang topic at ayaw ni Daddy na mag-ricochet ang inis ni Mum sa kanya.

Busy nga si Mum kasi after ng dinner, nag-office agad siya. Pinasunod niya si Daddy para mag-usap sila nang masinsinan about sa cancellation issue na kanina pa nila pinagtatalunan.

I was expecting na aalis na rin si Clark, pero nagulat na lang ako nang bigla niya akong hatakin papasok sa kuwarto ko.

"Hey!" My back was pinned against the wooden door and his left hand was placed beside my head. I glared at Clark's serious face kasi hindi ko naiintindihan kung bakit niya 'to ginagawa.

"Bakit ka umalis sa café?" tanong niya, and his eyes were serious and threatening.

"Why not?" I raised my left brow and crossed my arms. "And besides, I'm already home."

He narrowed his eyes and returned my questioning look. He didn't say anything but was emitting this threatening aura, which gave me a frisson.

"What now?" I challenged him.

"I'm calling you. Bakit hindi ka sumasagot?"

"Na-snatch ang phone ko kaya nga ako sinundo ni Tita para iuwi."

Bigla siyang sumimangot habang nakapikit, parang may narinig na masakit sa tainga.

"Na-snatch?" pag-ulit niya.

"You know what, Clark, if you're messing with my mom, puwede bang tigilan mo na? Kasi nadadamay ako, e. Can you be more considerate about my feelings right now?"

He was frustrated and I felt that. He bit his lower lip as he avoided my gaze.

"Mum said malapit na raw umuwi si Archie," I began, and that earned me a glare from him. I saw his Adam's apple move and his jaw clench after dropping Archie's name. "At least I have someone Mum will definitely like."

I wanted to assume that I inflicted that pain in his eyes. Ayokong mag-rely sa coincidences. Ayokong mag-rely sa unsure. Ayokong mag-stick sa "hindi muna" because I know Mum didn't like that either.

He was breathing hard, and I wanted him to speak—to tell me a better line than saying no or not yet.

Gusto ko ng mas malinaw na sagot para hindi ako nangangapa kung saan ako lulugar. Kahit man lang dito, maging klaro sa akin kung dapat na ba akong maghanap ng iba or what.

"Do you want to marry me or not?" I fearlessly asked, staring into his eyes to test his courage.

"Alam mong mali 'yang tanong mo," seryosong sagot niya.

"Walang mali sa tanong ko, Clark. If no, then no. And leave me alone. Don't say no and give me reasons to say yes to your ambiguity. Mas malala ka pa kay Ivo. At least siya, noong nag-no, sigurado siya sa no niya. E, ikaw?"

"Gusto mo ba si Archival?"

"Hindi si Archie ang topic. Ang tanong ko, gusto mo ba 'kong pakasalan o hindi?"

"Sab, please lang—"

That's not the answer to my question. Itinulak ko na lang siya palayo sa akin saka ako naglakad palayo sa kanya papunta sa direksiyon ng kama.

"You spelled no incorrectly, Clark." I shook my head in regret. "You should have said no. And stop playing with Mum's game. We both know na never kang mananalo sa kanya." Itinuro ko ang pinto habang nanghihinayang at nadidismaya sa pananahimik niya. "Please leave. You don't have to force yourself kung ayaw mo. At para din hindi ko na tinatanong ang sarili ko kung ano lang ba 'ko sa 'yo."

♥♥♥