"Tita, I have chika! Mainit-init pa!"

Clark's a talker. On a random day, he would barge into my parent's lounge, shouting he has "chika" and Mum would be so invested in it kahit wala pang context.

Clark is my Kuya's not-so-best best friend. They're more like brothers with unresolved sibling rivalries who have no choice but to have each other's back. Hindi pa ako ipinanganganak, friend na siya ni Kuya, sila nina Leopold. They went to the same preparatory school, like what Tita Geth had told us when we were kids.

Kuya Ronie didn't like Clark the way he favored Leo, probably because the whole barkada of him always compared them to Clark as the favorite child of our parents. Kung papipiliin si Mum between Kuya and Clark, she will choose Clark and will ask Kuya to stay put once she needs him and Clark can't deliver—something like that.

It was a nice afternoon in May. The sun was enough to give people a sudden heat stroke and a good chance to go to the beach. But I was in my parents' house to stay for a while bago ako pumunta sa Rockwell.

Nasa pool area kami ni Mum. I was planning to swim, but I didn't want an unexpected tan today kaya nag-stay na lang ako sa chaise lounge katabi ni Mum. I wore a neon blue triangle-top swimsuit and a bikini of the same color under faded denim shorts.

Mum wore her floral satin robe and flip-flops. Mukhang walang balak mag-swimming gaya ko kahit nakapang-swimming naman kaming dalawa. She was enjoying her pineapple juice—a good source of fiber, as she would always say, to maintain her figure—and was reading a lifestyle magazine when Clark broke the serenity of the place in the middle of the afternoon.

"What is it?" Mum answered, and removed her sunglasses.

My gaze was following Clark. He's not as tall as Kuya. Nasa 5'11 lang yata siya. He grew a few of his stubbles to create a subtle rugged look, and it complements his sexy praline skin tone that I would definitely want to have. His almond and dark brown eyes perfectly matched his thick brows and aquiline nose. Clark has so many smiles, depending on the situation, and his canines were glaring with malice right now. I doubt na galing siya sa work kasi naka-V-neck lang na maluwag at khaki shorts. Naka-slip-ons nga lang din, parang galing sa bahay at sumugod lang dito out of the blue.

Clark sat where I was sitting. Napaurong tuloy ako para may puwesto siya. And damn, he smelled so good, amoy mint. Hindi niya 'to usual na pabango kaya sure na walang ibang pinuntahan 'to kasi hindi siya amoy annoying. Pati tuloy ako, naki-chika na rin sa kung ano na naman ang tea niya for today.

"Look!" Ipinakita pa niya ang phone niya kay Mum. Lumapit ako sa kanya at iniakbay ko ang left arm ko sa right shoulder niya habang nakikisilip sa ipinakikita niya kay Mum.

"What's that?" tanong ko.

"Kasal na kuya mo," sabi niya at lalapit sana kay Mum pero hinuli ko ang panga niya saka pinaharap sa akin.

"Kasal sino?"

"Kuya mo. Si Ronie." Itinulak niya ang noo ko kaya ko siya nabitiwan.

Kasal na si Kuya? Fuck!

Kanino 'yon ikakasal? I couldn't remember anyone from our circle.

"Who's this girl?" Mum asked, raising her eyebrow, showing Clark the photo of a hand with a wedding ring.

"Wala pa akong idea, Tita, pero aalamin ko," sagot ni Clark. "Wala siyang ibang dine-date recently. Last girl na naka-date niya, December pa 'yon at rejected siya."

Mum glared at her right, as if she was thinking something, but not surprised. Parang may hint na siya.

"Legit ba?" tanong ko kay Clark.

"Very," he said.

"Ooohh . . ."

Big deal kay Mum ang marriage ni Kuya.

Ah, nope. Big deal kay Mum ang marriage namin ni Kuya, and she wanted to choose the best person for us to be with regardless of the feeling.

I have a boyfriend. His name is Ivo. Mum is civil to him, but she still doesn't like him. May ipinakilala si Kuya last time sa Batangas, but I doubt na serious 'yon kasi wala kaming idea sa girl na 'yon. Para ngang hinatak lang niya 'yon somewhere sa fashion show namin.

May sinasabi si Kuya na pakakasalan niya, pero kahit siya, may doubt doon sa tinutukoy niya, so ano ang iisipin namin? He was just saying it para hindi na mangialam si Mum sa love life namin?

Mum didn't say anything. Tumayo lang siya, pumasok sa loob ng bahay, naiwan kami ni Clark sa pool area.

"Tingin mo, sino 'yong girl?" tanong ko nang tapikin ang balikat niya.

"Sana may idea ako," sagot niya.

Sino kaya 'yon?

♥♥♥

Mum wanted the best for us. And I understand that she was extremely disappointed in Kuya's wedding to Jaesie because she felt she had lost her own game.

I was twenty-four when Kuya married Jaesie, and it brought out the hell in my life kasi na-pressure si Mum na may Ivo ako.

Civil siya kay Ivo, pero ayaw niya sa boyfriend ko. And her reason? Ivo is not in our circle.

But I love him! And my reason to marry him? Si Jae rin naman, hindi belong sa class namin, duh!

If Kuya married Jaesie in secret, then I could do that with Ivo.

After ng church wedding ni Kuya, kinausap ko na si Ivo.

I even invited him to dinner in my penthouse sa Ayala to ask him if he wants to marry me as soon as possible. Kasi epic failed for Mum ang wedding ni Kuya, and she wouldn't let anything go by without a fight.

Twenty-five years old, and I'm the lady here. I prepared a rose path and a table for two. I ordered a steak and white wine for the two of us. The whole balcony was prepared with small candles as lights of the whole place.

I was ecstatic kasi ako ang magpo-propose. Bumili pa ako ng engagement ring for myself para isusuot na lang ni Ivo sa kamay ko!

Nagsuot ako ng sexy red dress na naka-ready na sa ilalim ang black strapless lingerie. Para kapag nag-yes na ako, ready na ako for the night.

The elevator bell rang.

My smile was wide and my heart was pounding.

The elevator opened . . . and I saw Ivo wearing a casual shirt and slacks.

"Hi, sweetie," I said, seductively, and I bit my lip while sensually touching the glass wall of my living room.

"Oh. Wow." He entered and scanned the whole place full of red flowers. "Anniversary ba natin?"

"Uhm, nope."

"Ah, buti naman. Akala ko, nakalimutan ko."

I held his hand and asked for a kiss.

He grinned and caught my waist. He pulled me close and I almost shouted out of surprise. I was smiling ear to ear when he got closer, but it left my lips after I smelled a familiar scent of Chanel Coco Mademoiselle. And Ivo's scent was always Yves Saint Laurent because I always bought that for him.

He started kissing me on my cheeks, pecking on my lips, then on my neck. I tried to brush off that smell kasi baka galing siya sa mama niya or something.

He was tickling me and I suddenly blurted out, "Let's marry."

He chuckled. "Ang sexy mo ngayon."

I know, right.

But . . .

"Ivo, I'm serious. Let's go sa Coron. I can talk to my friend para ikasal tayo. Kahit intimate wedding lang."

He stopped kissing me and looked me in the eyes, confusion was evident in his reaction.

"Bakit biglaan naman?" nalilitong tanong niya.

"Tapos na ang wedding ni Kuya. Ako na ang target ni Mum ngayon."

"And?"

My brows furrowed. "Mum doesn't like you."

"Pero hindi pa natin kailangang magpakasal."

"But I'm twenty-five and you're twenty-seven. Puwede na tayong magpakasal."

Bigla niya akong binitiwan na lalo kong ikinalito. Kamot siya nang kamot ng ulo habang nakasimangot.

"Sab, you're overacting. Bata pa tayo para diyan. Saka one year and few months pa lang tayo, right?"

My eyebrow automatically raised and I crossed my arms.

Don't tell me, nire-reject ng gagong 'to ang proposal ko?

"Ivo, si Kuya, after a month lang niya pinakasalan si Jaesie after he pursued her. More than a year na silang kasal and they're doing fine!"

"Sila 'yon! Iba naman tayo. Sab naman . . ." He was about to hold me but I slapped his hand.

"Do you have any plan to marry me?" I asked, annoyed and disappointed.

"Sab . . ." He was giving me begging, puppy eyes, but I wasn't buying it.

"Do you have a plan to marry me, Ivo?" I shouted.

He avoided my gaze and let out a deep sigh.

In an instant, what was left in my system was a huge disappointment.

We were in more than a year in a relationship. I gave what he asked and what he needed because I loved him.

Kuya introduced Jaesie to us in April last year and married her after a month . . . because he was serious and he had the intention to be with her for the rest of his life—and there's this asshole in front of me telling me that we're different from my Kuya and his wife.

Paanong different? On what aspect kami naging different?

"We better breakup," Ivo finally said, and that left me speechless.

Breakup?

'Yon ang sagot niya sa tanong ko? Breakup?

"Tell me you're joking," I said, irritated, and was on the verge of throwing him on the balcony. "Tell me . . . you're fucking joking, Ivo."

He didn't say anything. He just shook his head and shrugged. "Sorry, Sab."

In the middle of the fucking night . . .

In the middle of all these fucking rose petals and scented candles . . .

My tears were flooding my eyes, but my anger prevented those precious diamonds from dropping on my cheeks, for it wasn't worth the fall.

Breakup.

All right . . .

All right.

♥♥♥

I was almost done with the wine. The candlelights were already fading their gleam.

Breakup.

Natatawa na lang ako.

Did Daddy set my standard too high for a husband? Or did Kuya set the bar too high for me para igaya ko ang lahat ng lalaki sa kung paano siya mag-isip about relationships?

Sobrang loyal ni Kuya kay Jaesie. Lalo na si Dad kay Mum. Although Dad would literally die if he tried to cheat on Mum, he still counts.

I was drowning my sorrow in a pool of wine, but I guess sorrow knew how to swim.

The elevator bell dinged again, but I had no energy to open the door. Nag-stay lang ako sa balcony, sa tapat ng railings kaharap ng city sa ibaba.

The bell dinged continuously as if whoever the fuck was outside was annoyed at me for not opening the door for him.

Whoever you are, fuck you, and get lost.

Another glass of wine bottoms up, and I watched the glowing lights beneath me dim one by one.

"'Tang ina naman, Sab, kanina pa 'ko nagdo-doorbell, binging-bingi ka na ba?"

Ugh, the annoying Clark again.

"Ay, gago, nandito jowa mo, Sab?"

Bakit ba niya hinahanap ang gagong 'yon, e nakipag-break na nga sa akin?

"Sorry, Ivo, 'tang ina, hindi n'yo sinabi! May nakahubad ba rito? Magtatakip ako ng mata! Hello? Busy ba kayo? Hello? Hell—"

Nilingon ko si Clark nang makalapit siya mula sa balcony.

"'La, mukha mo, Sab. Mukha kang na-excorcise."

"He broke up with me. Ayaw niya 'kong pakasalan," sumbong ko sa kanya saka ako tahimik na umiyak.

"Sino? Si Ivo?"

Mabilis akong tumango saka nagpunas ng mata.

"Walang magugulat," seryosong sabi niya. "Joke! Pero seryoso ba? Gago, akala ko, nagse-sex kayo, ang daming flowers dito."

Lumapit siya sa puwesto ko saka siya tumambay sa door frame.

"I asked him to marry me and he told me we better breakup! What's wrong with me ba?"

"Ang sama kasi ng ugali mo. Charot!"

Dumampot agad ako ng slipper sa tabi ko saka ibinato sa kanya. "I hate you!"

"Charot nga lang kasi! Saka mamaya ka na mag-drama diyan. Pinasusundo ka ni Rico. Urgent daw." Lumapit na siya sa akin saka ako binuhat mula sa balikat para makatayo. "Itsura mo, Sab. Kadiri ka naman."

"Ikaw kaya makipag-break!"

He just rolled his eyes and tapped my back. "Maghilamos ka muna. Ang pangit mo." Bigla niya akong itinulak kaya lalong tumalim ang tingin ko sa kanya. "Gaga ka talaga. Ang daming kandila rito, para kang mangkukulam."

"I did this for Ivo!"

"Tinatanong?" masungit niyang sagot. "Dali na! Bibiyahe pa tayo. Papatayin ko lang 'tong mga kandila. Makakasunog ka pa ng penthouse, sira ka talaga."

♥♥♥