"Dapa! Dumapa kayo, dapa! Kamay sa likod ng ulo!"

My soul almost left my body and revived at the same time when I heard those shouts and loud thuds on the door.

Sunod-sunod na lalaking naka-uniform at may helmet ang pumasok. May mga baril silang dala.

"Ronie?" Hinahanap ko siya sa kusina, pero nakita ko na lang na nakataas na ang mga kamay niya sa hangin habang tinututukan din siya ng baril ng isang naka-uniform at may bulletproof vest.

"Mami, help!" Clark was crying, face on the floor, hands behind his head. Patrick was doing the same, but he looked at the men in uniform's faces to familiarize himself with them.

"Si Leo! Si Leo, saglit lang, mga boss! Yung kaibigan namin, hindi pa okay 'yan!" Will was shouting for Leo's sake kahit na isa rin siya sa tinututukan ng baril sa ulo habang may nakatapak na boots sa likod niya.

I looked for Leo, and an officer pushed him to the wall, forced him to put his hand behind his back, and handcuffed him right away.

Calvin was already handcuffed, and a huge man was dragging him through his shirt. They even pushed him palabas ng pintuan kahit na naglalakad naman na siya.

A blanket covered me and carried me outside the apartment. The next thing I knew, someone was injecting something into my left arm before I lost consciousness.

♥♥♥

"MAGSASAMPA KA ng kaso? Paano mo sasampahan, inaareglo na ng mga magulang?"

I woke up because of that voice. Ang sakit ng likod ng palad ko. Saka ko lang nakitang may IV na roong naka-tape at may dextrose na nakadugtong. Iba na rin ang suot ko. Nakakumot na rin ako nang mas komportable.

Nakikita ko sa may sulok ng pintuan ang . . . parents ko, nagtatalo.

I saw them together last December, and it was already February.

"Umamin 'yong Mendoza. Same sila ng statement ng iba niyang kasama," Daddy explained, and he sounded annoyed. "Nagma-match din sa statement nina Gallego."

Mom's face was furious, and she was throwing glares at my dad. "Guilty nga, di ba?" Mom retorted.

"Daddy . . . Mommy . . ."

I was okay a few . . . hours? Days? Ago. The medicine they gave me was calming me in a not-so-nice way. Para akong lumulutang at nanghihina.

"Belle!" Mom checked up on me. "Anak, ano'ng ginawa nila sa 'yo? Sino'ng nagsamantala sa 'yo?"

"No one . . ."

"Kyline." Dad's voice was commanding, pushing me to tell them the truth.

"Anak, sino? Ituro mo," Mom told me. "Hawak na namin silang lahat."

My eyes were sleepy, and I badly wanted to douse the effects of the drug in me. It was keeping me from feeling anything but calmness.

"No one . . ."

I couldn't speak properly. Ang dami kong gustong sabihin habang nakatingin sa kanila, pero physically, wala akong lakas para magsalita nang matagal. My mind was explaining to them everything, yet my body wasn't cooperating.

Ilang oras din ang inabot bago mawala ang epekto ng gamot sa akin. Noong sinabing kailangan ko na ulit bigyan n'on, humindi na ang parents ko.

My mom was insisting na isa sa mga nahuli nila ang nang-rape sa akin.

They got the statement from Leo's company. Hindi ko alam kung gaano na ako katagal sa ospital pero nakapagbigay na raw ng sinumpaang salaysay ang grupo nina Leo at nina Elton. Ako na lang ang hinihintay. Nag-conduct na rin ng physical and genital examination para sa akin habang ginagamot ang lahat ng pasa at sugat na meron ako.

Mom was pushing the facts stated in my medico-legal that I was raped. The medico-legal officer found clear evidence of blunt force or penetrating trauma to my genital parts.

Elton and his company said that I was sixteen years old, as per my own words. And they told the prosecution that Leo was guilty of such a crime. But my own parents disregarded that since I was of legal age, and Leo's group has a similar statement that he was forced to do the crime dahil nga tinutukan na kami ng baril.

Elton's group said si Leo ang gumawa ng mga pasa at sugat ko sa katawan. Wala raw silang ibang ginawa sa akin, which was opposed by Leo's group dahil tinutukan nga kami ng baril.

Iisa lang ang statement ng grupo nina Elton. Iisa lang din ang statement ng grupo nina Leo. The final statement must come from me para patotohanan o pasinungalingan kung sino ba talaga ang nagsasabi ng totoo.

Mom asked his peers to conduct the interview inside the hospital room where I was. Saka ko lang talaga naramdaman na ang dami kong sugat dahil sa dami ng gamot at bendang nakabalot sa katawan ko.

"Naroon ka sa lugar na 'yon dahil natalo ka sa usapan ninyo ng isa sa mga nahuli sa crime scene na si Deborah Salem," sabi ng officer na nagno-note ng statement ko. And it looked like he was Mom's friend.

"Yes po," sagot ko.

"May inutos ba siyang gawin mo roon?"

Napalingon agad ako kay Mommy sa may pintuan, nakatingin sa akin, nagbabanta. Ayoko sanang magsabi ng totoo, pero kapag nagsinungaling ako, lalong magigipit si Leo.

"Nagdala po ako ng drugs sa isa sa mga kabarkada ni Elton."

"Oh my God, Belle." Mom brushed her hair in a frustrated manner and let out a disappointed sigh.

"Linda," the officer called my mom. "Sigurado ka bang itutuloy mo pa 'to?"

Mom stopped for a moment to think. Tiningnan niya si Daddy para magtanong, pero kahit si Daddy, hindi rin alam ang isasagot.

"Gumagamit ka ba, Kyline?" tanong ng officer sa akin.

Natahimik ako. Hindi ko alam ang isasagot. "Alam ko pong drug den ang club, saka kilala ko ang ibang pumupunta roon."

"Itong grupo nina Lauchengco. Sila ba ang bumugbog sa 'yo?"

Umiling agad ako. "Ronie said they were there para maningil ng utang kay Elton. Eighty thousand po yata."

The officer took notes again and nodded as if I said something that matched his still-unsolved puzzle.

"Paano mo nakuha ang mga pasa at sugat mo?"

"Si Elton, ilang beses po niya akong hinatak saka itinulak. Tinutukan niya ako ng baril. May isang lalaki ring nanutok ng baril kay Leo. The bruises in my arms came from Elton's. On my legs, they forced Leo to have sex with me. They pointed their guns at us while doing it. Ang iba ko pong sugat, nakuha ko lang po kasi nadapa ako sa kalsada noong tinawagan ko si Mommy."

I could see my mom's disappointed glares more than my expectations of her sad and compassionate stares. Feeling ko tuloy, mas naiinis siya sa statement ko kaysa awa sa nangyari sa akin.

The officer asked me to recall everything na nangyari sa gabing iyon sa night club. And what surprised them was that my statement matched what Leo's group said. At sure silang hindi ako tinakot nina Ronie para magsinungaling at mag-fabricate ng statement.

Hindi ako nagulat na pinag-iisipan pa kung hindi na magsasampa ng kaso si Mommy against kina Leo. Pero mas nagulat ako na hindi rin pala nila kakasuhan sina Elton.

Sa isip-isip ko, bakit? Never ending ang bakit ko at that day kasi deserve nina Elton ang makulong. Unfortunately, the only answer I got came from Gina. Sinabi pa niyang huwag kong sasabihin kay Mommy na sinabi niya sa akin kasi, for sure, mag-aaway sila.

"Kapag kinasuhan sina Corvito, makukulong ka rin. Hindi ka mapoprotektahan ni Belinda kung alam mo pala kung ano ang pinapasok mo." Gina was explaining things to me in a calm way. Nararamdaman ko namang disappointed din siya sa akin, pero wala na akong magagawa. Nangyari na ang nangyari.

"Makakalaya ba sina Elton?" tanong ko, nakatingin lang kay Gina na nag-aayos ng hospital bed kung saan ako nakahiga.

"Nahuli sila ng PDEA, makukulong pa rin sila. Hindi lang maisasama sa kaso nila ang nangyari sa 'yo." Tumayo na siya nang deretso at nagpamaywang. "Masama ang loob ng mommy mo ngayon. Hindi ka niya maipagtanggol kasi alam niyang guilty ka rin. Nakikipag-areglo na rin siya sa mga Lauchengco at sa iba pang kabarkada n'on na sangkot din dito."

I felt mom's overflowing disappointment in me. Kahit nga ngayong wala siya rito, ramdam ko pa rin.

"Sorry, Gina."

"Magpagaling ka lang, hmm? Mag-uusap muna kami ng mommy mo tungkol dito."

It was a tragedy I should have avoided at first. Mom was torn between doing what was right and protecting me as her own child. And she ended up shrugging off what happened to me just to protect me kahit na ramdam na ramdam kong gusto niyang makulong nang matagal sina Elton dahil sa nangyari sa akin.

After that day, Daddy called the school admin, compromising my remaining hours in my OJT. Even my thesis, sinabi nilang gagawin na lang sa bahay at online akong magpe-present.

February and March, ikinulong ako sa bahay ni Mommy sa Dolleton, and I had no rights to complain kasi hindi naman daw nila gagawin iyon kung hindi nangyari ang nangyari sa akin.

My dream was to travel around the world, and here I was, trapped in my room, waiting for something I had no idea what.

I tried to reach out sa barkada ni Leo kasi wala na akong balita sa kanila, pero nahirapan ako. Ang hirap nilang hanapin sa social media. Sa IG, hindi naman sila sumasagot.

Ilang linggo akong tumutulala na lang sa kawalan kapag nasa garden, o kaya matatagalang matulog kaiisip sa lahat ng nangyari.

Nagbago lang ang lahat nang isang umaga, ramdam kong nagtuturuan sina Mommy at Gina at mahinang nagtatalo sa kahit saang parte ng bahay kung saan ko sila naaabutan.

"Anak, kumusta ang pakiramdam mo?" Mom suddenly asked as if nothing was happening.

"I'm . . . fine," I answered, looking at Gina, who forced a smile at me. "Why?"

"No! Nothing." Mom carefully placed her hand on my back. "What do you want to eat?"

"Cereals?"

"Cereals and?"

Nangunot agad ang noo ko kasi parang naaaligaga si Mommy. "Cereals and milk?"

"And?"

"And . . . that's all?"

"Okay, I see. Gina."

My mom was acting weird, and it's been two months since that incident happened. Ngayon lang ulit siya naging ganito ka-unease pagdating sa akin.

"Mom, yesterday pa dapat dumating ang result ng laboratory ko, di ba? Manang didn't inform me na may dumating na letter. Pero sabi sa document tracker ng postal office, received na."

"Oh!" Mom looked shocked but stared at Gina, who was looking at her, at para silang nag-uusap gamit ang mga mata.

"Wala kaming napansin," sabi ni Gina bago siya tumalikod para uminom ng tubig.

"Oo, wala kaming napansin, anak. Siguro nahalo sa mga bill dito sa bahay. Huwag mo nang tanungin si Manang, kami na ni Gina ang maghahanap, okay lang?"

"Oh . . . okay?" I nodded. "That's urgent. Ipapasa ko na po kasi sa school sana after next week sa graduation."

"Um, siguro na lang, anak, huwag ka munang mag-handle ng paperwork ngayon." Mom was brushing my hair, and she only does this if she's worried about me.

"Mom, what's happening?"

"Wala, anak. I'll call Adrian today. Magpahinga ka na lang muna, ha?"

I had no idea what was happening,and I'm sure Mom and Gina knew something na hindi ko dapat malaman. Whateverthat was, ramdam ko talagang may mali.

♥♥♥