We received a death threat from Elton.

Babalikan niya kami kapag nagsumbong kami. Iisa-isahin kami ng grupo niya kapag isa sa amin ang nagsalita. And what was worse than that? The reason I was there was because of Debby, my close friend. Plus, I knew what was going on in there, and that made me a valid accomplice. Another bad news story was that the boys knew what was going on in there as well.

We were all guilty kaya kapag nagsumbong kami . . . damay kami.

A death threat wasn't new to me. Siguro kasi nakakabasa ako ng ganoon before kay Mommy? I even saw someone warn her and me when I was a little girl. And that was when she decided to call off the marriage between her and my dad. It was . . . it just brought back those memories I was supposed to forget.

In the middle of the night, from Parañaque, nilakad namin ang kalsada papuntang Baclaran para kumuha ng taxi.

"Buti hindi ko dala ang kotse ni Daddy," sabi ni Ronie nang makita na namin ang terminal sa Baclaran.

"Okay lang sa 'yong dumaan doon, Ky?" mahinahong tanong ni Calvin sa akin kasi ang daming tao sa terminal kahit hatinggabi na. Siya ang nakayakap sa akin habang balot ako ng sweater niya. Naka-sweater siya kanina pero wala namang ibang pang-ilalim. Wala na tuloy siyang ibang suot maliban sa jeans niya. "O gusto mo, hintay ka na lang dito. Papuntahin namin ang taxi rito?"

"Dito na lang," sabi ko kahit sobrang malat na ng boses ko.

"Rico, dito na lang muna kami ni Kyline. Papuntahin mo na lang ang taxi rito."

"Dito na lang din kami," sabay na sabi nina Clark at Will. Sumulyap ako kay Leo, tulala lang siya sa malayo, walang sinabi.

"Ako na ang magtatawag, dito na lang kayong lahat," seryosong utos ni Ronie saka kami huminto sa kanto ng dinaanan namin. Medyo madilim dahil likod ng pader pero nadaraanan pa rin naman ng liwanag.

"Vin, okay ka lang ba?" tanong ko kay Calvin kasi naglalakad kami, wala siyang pang-itaas.

"Ky, huwag ako ang tanungin mo niyan."

Calvin was brushing my hair as he hugged me tightly. He sounded mad. I could feel his rage, and he was just keeping it inside him. I felt like a doll that everyone wanted to take away from him.

I was expecting some of them to blame Leo for what happened inside that club, but none of them attempted it. Because Leo got what he deserved and I got what I didn't.

Ang lamig ng hangin. Lalo lang akong nilalamig habang nararamdaman ang kirot sa pagitan ng hita ko.

It was my first time—Leo and I's first time—and we had it bad . . . worst.

My eyes were droopy as I stared at him. He was quiet, as always. But this time, his silence meant a million words that would remain unspoken.

I wanted to know what was inside his mind right now.

I was that girl who saw him as someone who deserved to be adored. I was that obsessed girl who enrolled in the same school as him. I was that pesky girl who wanted to get noticed by him.

And here we are, ending up in the worst situation any of us hadn't expected.

A few minutes later, two taxis stopped in front of us.

Ronie, Patrick, Calvin, and I were in one taxi. Clark, Will, and Leo were in the other car.

"Deretso ba tayo sa Pembo?" tanong ni Calvin kay Ronie.

"Wala tayong magandang option ngayon," sagot ni Ronie.

I see no better option either. Wala akong mai-suggest na pupuntahan.

Nasa gitna ako nina Ronie at Calvin. Aside from Calvin's sweater, wala na akong ibang damit. Wala na rin akong time magbihis ng nauna ko nang damit before the bunny suit kasi nagkakagulo na sa club.

Napapikit na naman ako at nakuyom ang laylayan ng suot ko.

May narinig daw silang putok ng baril. Everyone was shouting, and the managers asked Elton's company to evacuate immediately kasi may nagtawag ng tanod para i-check ang loob.

Parang broken recording sa utak ko ang nangyari sa club. Leo was kneeling in front of me, wearing nothing but his unbuttoned jeans, a gun in his head, listening to a death threat.

They mocked him for being Zeus yet untouched. A fake god, a helpless human.

At that moment, I could see Leo's eyes full of wrath. And that was all. Overflowing anger from an identified source. No fear, no regrets, just anger.

I wanted to ask him over and over and over again, "Masaya ka ba sa ginagawa mo, Leo?" but this time in a condemning tone because he let himself be part of this whole scheme.

Walang choice ngayon ang barkada ni Leo kundi dumeretso sa apartment niya sa Pembo, Makati. Hindi ko rin alam na nasa Pembo na pala siya kasi ang tagal ko nang walang balita sa kanya.

Buong apartment ang nirerentahan niya—nila—kasi lahat pala sila, doon tumatambay. Up and down ang bahay, masyadong malaki para sa isang tao.

Ang tahimik nilang lahat pagpasok namin sa loob.

Sa sala ng bahay, may simpleng sofa saka dalawang single seat.

"Uy, Pat, ayos ka lang?"

Napatingin agad kami kay Patrick kasi dumudugo ang ilong.

"Baka sa smoke. Mina-migraine ako," Pat said, and he removed his shirt and covered his bleeding nose using that. May white sando naman siyang suot sa ilalim. At kahit gusto kong mag-aalala para sa kanya, nanghihina ako para maglabas pa ng ibang emosyon.

"Allergic reaction 'yan. Kahit ako, nahihilo rin," sabi ni Clark. "Kukuha lang ako ng yelo sa ref."

Lumapit si Will kay Patrick at pinaharap niya ang kaibigan nila habang pisil ang ilong.

"Kukuha ako ng towel," sabi ni Ronie at umakyat agad sa hagdanan na malapit sa amin.

We were gloomy, and I noticed that none of us had the energy to panic.

Clark gave Pat a cold compress and helped him.

None of us got our phones back. Wala ring time para kunin pa sa lockers.

Ayoko munang umuwi sa bahay. My mom and Gina would probably hunt Elton. And what was worse? They would involve Leo's group here.

Ayoko ng gulo. Masyado na akong pagod para sa panibagong gulo ulit.

Calvin left me in my seat, and my eyes didn't leave Leo. It took him a lot of seconds to blink, and he didn't even care if Pat was bleeding at this moment.

This night was worse. Hindi ko alam kung ipagpapasalamat ko pang hindi kami sinaktan ng grupo nina Elton. Or maybe because they knew what would happen if they did—to think na kasama namin si Patrick saka si Ronie.

Calvin gave me a glass of cold water. "Ky, hindi ka muna namin puwedeng iuwi ngayon na ganyan ka. Baka kami ang pag-initan ng parents mo," he almost whispered as he stared into my eyes.

"Ayoko rin munang umuwi . . ." nanghihinang sinabi ko sa kanya. "Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta."

Calvin avoided my gaze. Kahit siya, problematic na rin tungkol naman sa akin. Napakamot siya ng ulo at kung saan-saan na tumingin habang kagat-kagat ang labi.

"Ano . . ." Nag-angat siya ng tingin at matipid ang ngiti sa akin. "Uuwi muna ako mamaya, kukuha ako ng damit mo. Siguro naman, kasya sa 'yo ang mga dress ni Mel. Pag-uusapan muna natin 'to, okay? Basta huwag kang magsusumbong kasi makukulong kami."

"I understand. Don't worry."

"Thanks, Ky."

Nagpaalam si Calvin sa kanila na aalis muna at babalik din.

The night was so long, and what happened played like an endless movie inside my head.

"Hawakan mo!"

I could hear Elton's shout instructing Leo on what to do next.

My eyes were flooding with tears. Sinusundan ko ng tingin si Leo na nakapikit lang habang sumusunod sa utos ng may hawak ng baril na nakatutok sa amin.

"Leo, it's okay . . ."

"Shut up."

Leo lifted my right leg and followed what Elton wanted him to do.

None of us wanted it. I let out a whimper when I felt him in front of what was between my legs. Akala ko, itutuloy niya pero . . .

"Hindi ko kaya," Leo said, still with his eyes closed.

They laughed, insulting him. "'Tol, hindi raw kaya. Alam mo na."

Napatingin ako sa gilid nang makitang may tatlong lalaki nang nagtatanggal ng belt nila.

"No, please, don't . . ."

"'Tang ina, Elton, tigilan mo na 'to!" Calvin was shouting, and I stole a glance at him. Two other guys were pushing him away and pointing guns at his head.

"Gagawin ko na!" sigaw ni Leo saka lang siya dumilat para makita ako.

Wala siyang ibang sinabi, pero isinisigaw ng mga mata niya ang lungkot habang nakatitig sa akin. Kung ano man ang dahilan n'on, ayoko nang malaman.

Napakapit ako sa braso niya nang ituloy niya ang pagpasok.

We both didn't want it, and it was painful to do. Parang pinupunit ang laman ko kada pilit niya.

"Leo, masakit . . ." umiiyak na sabi ko.

"Talagang masasaktan ka." Lumapit siya sa akin saka bumulong sa mismong tainga ko. "Tiisin mo. Ako lang ang puwedeng manakit sa 'yo ngayon."

I opened my eyes after I felt a pang of pain between my legs.

Hindi ko na rin namalayang nakatulog na pala ako. Pagdilat ko, nakahiga na ako sa couch, may kumot na rin. Walang ibang nasa sala kundi si Calvin na nakapatagilid ng sandal sa single seat sofa habang may bath towel na ginawa niyang blanket. Pagderetso ko ng higa, nasipa ko ang paper bag doon at nahulog sa sahig. Bahagyang lumabas ang ibang laman—damit ng babae. Dinampot ko iyon saka ako marahang naglakad papunta sa kitchen area.

Doon galing si Calvin noong nagpaalam siya na gagamit ng toilet. Hindi naman ako nagkamali kasi toilet nga at bukas ang ilaw kaya isinara ko na ang pinto.

"Leo—" Hindi na natuloy ang sigaw ko nang magulat kasi may tao pala sa loob. Hindi ko napansin dahil sa dark blue na shower curtain kung saan siya galing.

Leo looked like he was about to kill someone. He was throwing dagger looks at me, and I couldn't avoid it. It was creeping inside my skin.

We both know I did nothing wrong. Coincidence lang na naroon ako sa stag party na iyon at naroon sila.

Wala siyang sinabi. Nagbukas lang siya ng gripo sa sink, naghugas ng kamay, pinatuyo iyon sa malapit na hand towel, saka siya lumapit sa puwesto ko.

Napaatras lang ako nang buksan niya ang pinto at halos gitgitin ako n'on para makaurong at makalabas siya.

Matagal ko naman nangtinanggap na walang magiging kaming dalawa. And this time, mukhang mas dapat konang tanggapin na wala na ngang talaga.

♥♥♥