" No Matter How Hard I Try, But I can't Let You Go.....

It Hurts To Let You Go..... But Sometimes It Hurts More To Hold On....

But I have A Small Ray of Hope Coz,

H : Hold
O : On
P : Pain
E : Ends.....

We are together still not one...
We are one but not together...

It Requires Time.... And I am just Afraid That Do we Have That Much...

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A Special Thanks To ForiPatel For This Lovely Cover. It's Beautiful.

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AHANA'S POV

I woke up with a very bad and severe headache. I was draped in my comforter in the king size bed.
Oh! I was in my room. I didn't realise it.

How the hell did I get here? I remember sleeping on the sofa last night.
I really should avoid getting succumbed to drinking. I can't recall a thing and this is like a deja vu.

I was still in my black dress from last night and I saw my sandals near the bed. All of sudden my eyes fell on our couch.
I saw that person whom I didn't wanted to see first thing in the morning. Ansh...

I thought he won't return home.
He was sleeping in a very uncomfortable sort of position. The AC was still on and he wasn't even having a cover. He had changed in his sweat pants and a grey t-shirt. He really looked handsome even in that attire.

So he was the one responsible of me landing here. He always does this to me. First make me angry and then do this stuff. Cover me fully and lie all open in this cold atmosphere. He is sure to get a good cold if he stays like this for more time.

Ahana... What? You ough to be angry with him. But what if he really was busy. He works a lot and rarely has time for leisure. But I saw him leaving the office early. What if he wanted to celebrate his b'day with Jia?

Oh!! Ahana... Stopp... You can't think all this... It ll drive you insane already. So, of all I am upset and don't intend to change my mind. I can't melt down so easily.

As I stood up I heard him coughing. Huh! I don't care. I shouldn't care at all.

" Cough Cough!! " He seemed like having a running nose.

So, only out of humanity I wrapped him in a blanket. He unconsciously grabbed it and fell deeper into his sleep. He looked weary and tired. His perfect eyelashes making him look more charming.

But I didn't get one thing. Why in the Earth was he sleeping on the couch while there was so much space empty beside me. Maybe he was feeling guilty. Good for him.

I had a long warm shower. I got in a knee length pencil black skirt and a light blue shirt with my blazer on. I grabbed my cell and bag and went downstairs having a last look at my sleeping husband. When I went to the dining there was no one present except Sara.

" Where is Dad and Grandad? "
I asked.

" They are still resting in their rooms. Shall I bring the breakfast?"

" No.. It's fine. I ll prepare the coffee and leave. "

I know that everyone liked it and would want it.

I left for the office early. I had so much work piled up. I had wasted my time in doing bullshit for some one who didn't care at all.

Till lunch I was starving. Finally after working I felt like I hadn't eaten in days. After having a heavy lunch I felt good. The headache was now better. Thankfully I didn't have to take crocin.

I didn't see Ansh either. It's good for us only. I don't wanna get that awkward feelings anyways. And I am supposed to be upset and angry.
But I know I have that one problem that I can't be upset for a long time. It dies down in some time.

I took my cell out. I hadn't check it since yesterday. Today morning I just dumped it in my purse.
Oh! Gosh... It's switched off. I didn't do it. Maybe the battery must be dead. I switched it on.

16 messages and 19 missed calls. All from Jaai. How the hell I didn't hear them. The battery is 89 % Who switched it off?

I called him back. Maybe something urgent might have turned up. I went in my balcony. I needed to have a chat with him. I had a huge sea facing balcony. The evening's cool breeze was doing wonders to my mood.

" Hey! J...... Why have you been calling me? ''

'' Haha.... Thank God you reverted. I was worried like hell. You were just ignoring me. I thought maybe you were upset. "

Yeah!! I was upset.

" I wasn't ignoring you. I just saw your messages, J. My cell was switched off. " I said, sounding a bit confused. I was a bit tipsy last night and hence I can't remember a thing.

Then I got things clear in my mind. It must be Ansh. It has to him. There can be no one else. He must have seen the messages. Oh!! God. This man...

" But!! Hana.... Anyways how was yesterday. I thought you were busy that's why not replying. "

What to tell him. Yesterday was a disaster. But then finally I told him. It felt so good. My heart too felt light but that was because tears were coming out.

" Hana.... It's fine.... Stop crying now or else I ll have to come at once now. And Hana, Ansh must have been busy. "

" What?? Are you still defending him? I am crying at least then you will come. And if you were present in front of me, I swear you would be dead by now. Are you my friend or his? "
I said.

" Haha.... Come on... I am busy. Will come soon. " He said.

I didn't want him to occupy with my problems so I dropped the topic of my sucked up life.

And I didn't know what was happening in his life too. I was really a bad friend.

" J.... I know you aren't on a business meet. Now tell me the truth. Why have you been in London from past one month? "

He fell silent. We both knew we couldn't lie from each other. I gave up earlier than him. I had to give my more energy to make him say. But this time I think I figured out.

" J..... " I said after a few moment of silence.

" Are you still searching for her? "
I asked.

" Hmmm.... " He replied in a low voice.

" Why didn't you tell me? "

" You were too occupied with yourself Hana..... It's okay... And you know I am not giving up. "
He said all determined.

" I know. I am really proud of you J..... Miss u... Come soon victorious."

" Hmmm... Hana... Take Care. Miss u too. See u. I forgot to say you looked gorgeous last night. Seriously your husband missed it all. "
Ha!! He missed everything.

" Anyways... Thanks... I forgot to tell you, you know Piya and Mir, right? They are gonna have a baby. Isn't it amazing? "

" Yup!! Give my hearty congratulations to them. Come on... Bye... Love you. Keep smiling."

" Ya.... Love you too. "

I hung up. The cool breeze swayed and touched my cheeks. It was already 7 in the evening. I wonder where Ansh would be now. My balcony had the best view in of the city. It was sea facing and the setting sun ignited the sky in its orange hue. The birds were returning home and it looked just perfect the way I like it. But still it didn't felt complete some how. There was something missing. Everything looked perfect but nothing felt perfect.

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ANSH'S POV

How dare he say Love you to my wife. And how can she reply to him too. She really misses him right. She said it.

I was standing in my balcony. I think she forgot that our large balconies were adjacent to each other. I was thinking about Ahana and decided to stroll there when I heard her speaking to someone.
And that someone always turns out to be Jaai. Why is he so stuck around her so much? He can't leave her once.

He also called my wife gorgeous. I heard Ahana going back in her cabin but I was still standing outside. Piya is pregnant. That is what they were gonna tell everyone in my party.

Wow!! I am really happy for them. I am gonna be a uncle. I wish I was present there to enjoy with all of them. I missed a lot of happy moments and I think I spoiled it too.

Ahana said Jaai was searching someone in London. Who was that person? I need to know. Ahana and Jaai have many secrets and that makes my nights more miserable.

Yesterday night I fell asleep on the couch itself. I didn't have the guts to sleep next to Ahana. But she is so sweet that in the morning she covered me up. Or else I would have a cold. I could easily make out the sadness in her voice while she was speaking. I know I am the reason but I can't help it actually.

I called Piya. I need to tell them an explanation at least.

" Hmmm.... " She answered. She really seemed upset with me.

" Hey!! I am soooo sorry!! Please forgive me. " I pleaded like a baby.

" I think someone else require this apology, isn't it? "

I know she was referring to Ahana.

" I called to congratulate you and Mir. I am really very happy for you. I am gonna be a uncle now. Wow!! Can I speak to Mir?"

" Hmm... Mir... Your friend has finally showed up. " She was calling Mir. I was feeling guilty now. If I knew then definitely I would have gone home.

" Yes! "

" Mir.... Congrats... I am really sorry yaar... If I knew.... "

" Then what Ansh... You would have come. I know you weren't busy. Anyways Thank you. "

" Take Care of Piya... I ll make up for her sure. " I said in my sweetest voice.

" That I do very well. And I think someone else needs your making up now. " Saying so he hung up.

I was avoiding Ahana the entire day then. When I asked her secretary Jen, where was she at around 8 I came to know that she left already. I didn't go home that night. I preferred staying at the office. Actually I didn't mind that coz I have all the essentials in there except for one.... Peaceful Sleep..... I didn't had one since a long time.

***

It's been an exact two weeks and 4 days of us not seeing each other briefly. Only short glances at each other when I reach home and she is still awake doing her work.

But as soon as I reach and our eyes meet for a small while she gets up and goes to sleep. I can see her baggy pearl eyes. She also looks a bit pale. Dad and grandad are also not talking to me much. They do speak to Ahana a lot but I feel something is missing.
They are still upset.

I miss her. I really do. I shouldn't feel like that but I can't sleep now and it's so tiring. I am now sitting in my cabin consumed in pile of work which is all up to date. I know Ahana must be doing the same thing. Frankly speaking, I don't have much work now Coz everything was up to date.

All of sudden I hear a loud squeak. I jumped out of my chair. I hear some glasses breaking and files falling. It was all coming from Ahana's cabin. I got up and ran quickly. I was all tensed up what the hell was the matter.

I reached there and already Jen and others few male employees were standing outside.

" What's the matter Jen? "

" I don't know sir. All of sudden we heard mam shout something and now the door too is locked. "

I didn't think at once and with a thud broke the door off. It hurt a lot in my arms, But that wasn't a concern now.

When I entered I saw her. Ahana..
She was crying uncontrollably and sitting on the floor of her cabin. She didn't even realise that we entered. There were files and glasses all around her. Her cell phone was lying beside her.

I quickly went towards her before anyone else could reach.

" Ahana.... What happened honey?" I don't know why it come up like that. But it was sweetest and calmest possible gesture I knew.

All of sudden she quickly grabbed my shirt and hide herself in it and was still crying. I could feel my shirt getting wet now. I wrapped my hands around her.

" Sir.... " I saw everyone looking at us. I was also sitting beside Ahana on the floor while she was all covered up in my embrace. We were surrounded by glasses and files. I had never seen her like this. I wrapped my other arm around her and pulled her closer. Her skirt was getting a bit higher than her knees now. I was getting a bit concerned.

" Jen... Quickly bring some water and others go back to work. I want this place empty now... Move.... Fast. " I ordered with a authority.

They all dispersed in a second. Jen brought some water and left. I had to be careful since there were glasses everywhere. I wonder what made her cry so much.

" Ahana.... " I called her. But she didn't respond and was still clutching my shirt with all her might. Her breathing was calmer now.

Suddenly her cell phone rang. It was her Dad.

" Yes!! Dad. It's Ansh here... "

" Ansh!! Thank God you are there with Ahana. Is she alright? " I looked at her and she wasn't alright at all.

" No.. Dad. What happened? She is crying a lot. Not even speaking to me. "

" Ansh... Actually. After you didn't turn up on your b'day Ma decided to go for a yatra for you two. She left a week ago and Ahana wasn't aware of this. She had engaged herself in her work so much that didn't even spoke to us except for Jaai. "

Hearing his name brought fire in me. Ahana preferred talking to him instead of her family.

" Hmmm... " I said asking him to continue.

" Dad and I were gonna join her yesterday. But when we reached we heard that a bus carrying the pilgrims had toppled over and Ma was in it. They were all taken to the government hospital. We transferred her to a private hospital now. I just called to inform Ahana but before I could complete I heard her cell falling down and something else cracking. "

My muscles were all tensed up now. I too felt weak now. I would at least imagine what Ahana must be going through. She was still hiding in me. Her fragrance around me.

" Dad... Is Ma alright.?? " I asked my voice all down now. I was feeling too much pain in my heart. I just hope she is fine.

" Actually she is in ICU. Doctors are saying that there are some internal injuries and they have to keep her in observation. They can't say when ll she be conscious again. I am with Dad now. He is in trauma too. "

I could feel my cheeks getting wet now. Ahana was still in my arms and I was crying too. After so many years I felt like this. Vulnerable. Ma and I had really grew closed in this time. She had been really sweet and considered me as her son.

" Ansh.... " Dad called.

" Yes!!... " I whispered.

" You have to be strong. For yourself and for Ahana. Please. She needs you now. Can you please come here? "

" Of course we have to. I ll ask my secretary to ready our private jet at once. We ll reach in few hours. Please send me the exact location. I ll inform Dad and Grandad. Dad please don't worry. I am sure nothing ll happen to Ma. She ll be perfectly fine.. At least for Ahana.."

" Hmm... See you. Please take care of my girl. She is very emotional. She can't handle herself. "

Of course I will.

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Hi!! Guys,....

Oh! God... Ma is in hospital. I know it's sad. Let's see what awaits ANSHANA.... In future.

Next Update : Soon....

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Vruksha.